2 Papers, 3 Discussion Questions and 3 Student Responses

WRK 110: The Confidence Advantage

Week 7 Discussion

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In Chapter 7 of the Webtext, you learned the importance of reframing your negative self-talk into positive self-talk. Now, follow the three-step process on page 7.3 of the Webtext to reframe your own negative self-talk and share it with your class. (Please be sure not to reuse an example that was already given in the Webtext.)

Then, respond to one or more of your peers’ posts by suggesting a different way they could reframe their negative self-talk into positive self-talk.

*WEB Text CH 7…. Page 7.3

The Confidence Advantage

7 Be Positive / Page 7.3 Changing Your Self-Talk

Changing Your Self-Talk

YOU have the ability to pump yourself up or drag yourself down by the way you talk to yourself.

We all have bad days or face career curveballs that make us more likely to use negative self-talk. The good news is that it’s possible to catch yourself doing it, and change your negatives into positives.

The process of changing negative self-talk to positive self-talk is called reframing. Here are the three simple steps you can use to help you reframe your self-talk:

Step 1: Identify Negative Self-Talk

Turn your “I can’t” into an “I can.”

iStock/Getty Images

Pay attention to your self-talk over the next few days.

What negative self-talk pops up when things get tough, like when you’re running late or when you have a bad day at work? What worries or doubts come to mind as you’re trying to reach your goals? Do you notice any repeated or frequent negative thoughts?

Step 2: Evaluate the Thoughts

After you have identified your negative self-talk, ask yourself whether the thoughts are accurate or irrational.

Are you overreacting? Are you being too hard on yourself? Are you comparing yourself to others in an unrealistic way? Would a friend feel the same way about you that you do?

Pay attention to how these thoughts make you FEEL. Negative self-talk robs you of your confidence and is not helpful to you.

Step 3: Reframe Your Thoughts

Now that you’ve identified and evaluated your self-talk, it’s time to reframe and change the negative thoughts into positive ones. For each of the negative thoughts, create an alternative phrase that replaces the negative part with something positive. Each time the old thoughts creep back in, train yourself to use positive self-talk instead. You’ll notice how the positive thoughts boost your confidence and help you feel assured in your abilities and qualities. Check out the chart below for some examples.

NEGATIVE SELF-TALK	REFRAMED POSITIVE SELF-TALK
“Everyone else in my department gets away with doing nothing while I pull all the weight. And when they actually do work, I have to go fix their mistakes.”	“I’m the best in my department, and I’m also a team player. I can’t always fix my teammates’ mistakes, but I can help them learn from the mistakes they make so that we can all work more effectively.”
“I can’t complete that project in two days. My boss is setting me up to fail!”	“I know the deadline is tight, but if I manage my time wisely, I can complete it.”
“Going back to college while working full-time was a stupid idea. It’s impossible to do all the reading and assignments and still have a social life.”	“I knew that going back to school while working full-time would be challenging. However, I know that the hard work and sacrifice will be worth it, even if I have to scale back my social life.”

Reframing your self-talk isn’t about lying to yourself and pretending that things are better than they really are. It’s about whether the way you think about your situation is accurate and helpful or irrational and damaging. If your thoughts aren’t helping you reach success, creating a different, positive way of thinking about the situation can give you the confidence you need to succeed.

Multiple-Choice Question

Which of the following is an example of reframing the following statement? “I can’t complete two courses and work full-time this semester. It’s way too overwhelming.”

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· I need everything to go perfectly, but as long as I have good luck, everything should work out fine.

· Trying to work and go to school at the same time is pointless, so I should prioritize one to focus on, and quit the other.

· I don’t really like these classes. They don’t make sense to me. If things don’t get more interesting soon, I’ll just withdraw.

· I will have to manage my time closely and be prepared for some bumpy days, but I can work through each of these successfully.

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Meet Stefanie

After seven years of working her way up the ladder at a graphic design firm, Stefanie was recently promoted to be a partner. She’s the first female to join the upper management team at her company. With two graduate degrees, Stefanie is very qualified to help run the business. She’s respected throughout the company for being great at her job and a wonderful manager to those who work under her.

But since getting her promotion, Stefanie has been plagued by doubt and negative self-talk. She says to herself, “What if I don’t really deserve this role? Should I have stayed in a lower position where I know I could perform well? Will the others on the management team take me seriously?” Her negativity has shaken her confidence, causing her to talk less in meetings, doubt her ideas, and stumble through presentations.

But with the advice of a trusted mentor, Stefanie has been working to reframe her negative self-talk into positive self-talk. Before heading into presentations and meetings, she assures herself that she was chosen for the role because she is qualified and experienced. She tells herself that the promotion is a great opportunity for her to grow and learn. She reminds herself that the entire upper management team voted for her to join their ranks because they respect her and because she deserves the role. Her positive self-talk pays off, and Stefanie quickly regains the confidence she lost and begins building new confidence for the future.

Reframing helped Stefanie fuel her confidence, and it can do the same for you. But reframing your negative self-talk is just one of the ways you can practice being positive.

Sample Response & Peer Reply

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Sample Response

I experienced negative self-talk when I thought that I didn’t deserve to succeed.  I kept telling myself that I’m not worthy of progressing in my career.  I believed that everyone around me is somehow smarter or more deserving of success than me. When I applied the first step in the process, I noticed that the negative self-talk began when I was assigned a new project.  I couldn’t understand why my boss asked me to take on the task because I felt like I wasn’t good enough.  

When I applied step two of the process, I realized that I was blowing things out of proportion.  I had been assigned tasks in the past and performed to the best of my ability, and she was pleased with the results. I realized that feeling insecure was the result of my negative thinking and it distracted me from seizing the opportunity to show my boss that I could do the work.  Once I reframed my thinking, the final step of the process, I developed new thoughts.  I told myself that it was okay to be nervous.  I succeeded in the past with new projects, and this project will add to my current skills and abilities.  In the long run, I’m going to gain a unique experience that will help me advance in my career.  

Ima Strong-Student

Sample Peer Reply

Hi, Ima.  I think we can all relate to your experience. I also think you could reframe your negative thinking by focusing more or something that you mentioned in your response.  It sounds like you have a history with your boss.  Since you’ve worked together on past projects, you can reframe your negative thinking by focusing on her level of trust for you.   When your boss assigns you a new project consider yourself her go-to-person when she wants a job well-done.  If you reframe your thinking this way, your anxiety might turn to motivation and excitement, which you can use to drive the project.  What do you think? Does this sound like something that might work for you based on your experience?  I’d love to know your thoughts.  

Justin Thyme

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Part 2: Student Response

Theresa Thompson

RE: Sample Response & Peer Reply

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Good morning Professor,

There was a time when I did experience a negative thought. That time happened when me and my children were attending church with my neighbor. Things were hard for us and the kids could not go to school because of the gangs driving by shooting as kids were getting out of school. One of the members stood up and prophesied to us saying that he saw us moving to a new city and that things were going to get better for us. My children and I looked at each other because we knew our situation and that was an impossible so we thought. But as time went by what that man said to me kept resonating in my head. Anyway, a year later my sister had moved to Indianapolis and invited us to come for a visit. We enjoyed Indianapolis so much that I began making plans to leave. Somehow I started telling myself that I could do this and make a new life for us. In June of 1994, I made the transition from  Chicago to Indianapolis, and life has been so much better for us. Not a day goes by that I don't remember what that man said to be. So yes his vision did come true and it gave me the motivation I needed to make a change for the better.

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