few paragraphs

Writing Letters 9 245

COMMUNICATE HONESTLY You should communicate honestly when you write any kind of document, and business correspondence is no exception. Communicating honestly shows respect for your reader and for yourself.

E T H I C S N OT E WRITING HONEST BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE Why is dishonesty a big problem in correspondence? Perhaps because the topics discussed in business correspondence often relate to the writer’s professionalism and the quality of his or her work. For instance, when a salesperson working for a supplier writes to a customer explain- ing why a product did not arrive on time, he is tempted to make it seem as if his company— and he personally—is blameless. Similarly, when a manager has to announce a new policy that employees will dislike, she might be tempted to distance herself from the policy.

The professional approach is to tell the truth. If you mislead a reader in explaining why the shipment didn’t arrive on time, the reader will likely double-check the facts, conclude that you are trying to avoid responsibility, and end your business relationship. If you try to convince readers that you had nothing to do with a new, unpopular policy, some of them will know you are being misleading, and you will lose your most important credential: your credibility.

Writing Letters Letters are still a basic means of communication between organizations, with millions written each day. To write effective letters, you need to understand the elements of a letter, its format, and the common types of letters sent in the business world.

ELEMENTS OF A LETTER Most letters include a heading, inside address, salutation, body, complimen- tary close, and signature. Some letters also include one or more of the fol- lowing: attention line, subject line, enclosure line, and copy line. Figure 9.3 on QBHF���� shows the elements of a letter.

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WRITING CORRESPONDENCE9 246

DAVIS TREE CARE 1300 Lancaster Avenue Berwyn, PA 19092 www.davisfortrees.com

May 11, 2016

Fairlawn Industrial Park 1910 Ridgeway Drive Berwyn, PA 19092

Attention: Director of Maintenance

Subject: Fall pruning

Dear Director of Maintenance:

Do you know how much your trees are worth? That’s right—your trees. As a maintenance director, you know how much of an investment your organization has in its physical plant. And the landscaping is a big part of your total investment.

Most people don’t know that even the hardiest trees need periodic care. Like shrubs, trees should be fertilized and pruned. And they should be protected against the many kinds of diseases and pests that are common in this area.

At Davis Tree Care, we have the skills and experience to keep your trees healthy and beautiful. Our diagnostic sta! is made up of graduates of major agricultural and forestry universities, and all of our crews attend special workshops to keep current with the latest information on tree maintenance. Add to this our proven record of 43 years of continuous service in the Berwyn area, and you have a company you can trust.

Heading. Most organizations use letterhead stationery with their heading printed at the top. This preprinted information and the date the letter is sent make up the heading. If you are using blank paper rather than letterhead, your address (without your name) and the date form the heading. Whether you use letterhead or blank paper for the !rst page, do not number it. Use blank paper for the second and all subsequent pages.

Inside Address. If you are writing to an individual who has a professional title—such as Professor, Dr., or, for public o"cials, Honorable—use it. If not, use Mr. or Ms. (unless you know the recipient prefers Mrs. or Miss). If the reader’s position !ts on the same line as the name, add it after a comma; otherwise, drop it to the line below. Spell the name of the organization the way the organization itself does: for example, International Business Machines calls itself IBM. Include the complete mailing address: street number and name, city, state, and zip code.

Attention Line. Sometimes you will be unable to address a letter to a particular person because you don’t know (and cannot easily !nd out) the name of the individual who holds that position in the company.

Subject Line. The subject line is an optional element in a letter. Use either a project number (for example, “Subject: Project 31402”) or a brief phrase de!ning the subject (for example, “Subject: Price quotation for the R13 submersible pump”).

Salutation. If you decide not to use an attention line or a subject line, put the salutation, or greeting, two lines below the inside address. The traditional salutation is Dear, followed by the reader’s courtesy title and last name and then a colon (not a comma):

Dear Ms. Hawkins:

FIGURE 9.3 Elements of a Letter

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Writing Letters 9 247

Letter to Fairlawn Industrial Park Page 2 May 11, 2016

May we stop by to give you an analysis of your trees— absolutely without cost or obligation? Spending a few minutes with one of our diagnosticians could prove to be one of the wisest moves you’ve ever made. Just give us a call at 610-555-9187, and we’ll be happy to arrange an appointment at your convenience.

Sincerely yours,

Jasmine Brown President

Enclosure: Davis Tree Care brochure

c: Darrell Davis, Vice President

FIGURE 9.3 Elements of a Letter (continued )

Header for second page.

Body. In most cases, the body contains at least three paragraphs: an introductory paragraph, a concluding paragraph, and one or more body paragraphs.

Complimentary Close. The conventional phrases Sin- cerely, Sincerely yours, Yours sincerely, Yours very truly, and Very truly yours are interchangeable.

Signature. Type your full name on the fourth line below the complimentary close. Sign the letter, in ink, above the printed name. Most organizations prefer that you include your position under your printed name.

Copy Line. If you want the primary recipient to know that other people are receiving a copy of the letter, include a copy line. Use the symbol c (for “copy”) followed by a colon and the names of the other recipients (listed either alphabetically or according to organizational rank). If appropriate, use the symbol cc (for “courtesy copy”) followed by the names of recipients who are less directly a#ected by the letter.

Enclosure Line. If the envelope contains documents other than the letter, include an enclosure line that indicates the number of enclosures. For more than one enclosure, add the number: “Enclosures (2).” In determining the number of enclosures, count only separate items, not pages. A three-page memo and a 10-page report constitute only two enclosures. Some writers like to identify the enclosures:

Enclosure: 2015 Placement Bulletin Enclosures (2): “This Year at Ammex” 2015 Annual Report

COMMON TYPES OF LETTERS Organizations send out many different kinds of letters. This section focuses on four types of letters written frequently in the workplace: inquiry, response to an inquiry, claim, and adjustment.

Inquiry Letter 'JHVSF�����TIPXT�BO�JORVJSZ�MFUUFS �JO�XIJDI�ZPV�BTL�RVFTUJPOT�

Two other types of letters are discussed in this book: the job- application letter in Ch. 10, p. 286, and the transmittal letter in Ch. 13, p. 360.

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WRITING CORRESPONDENCE9 248

14 Hawthorne Ave. Belleview, TX 75234

November 2, 2016

Dr. Andrea Shakir Director of Technical Services Orion Corporation 721 West Douglas Avenue Maryville, TN 31409

Dear Dr. Shakir:

I am writing to you because of Orion’s reputation as a leader in the manufacture of adjustable x-ray tables. I am a graduate student in biomedical engineering at the University of Texas, and I am working on an analysis of diagnostic equipment for a seminar paper. Would you be able to answer a few questions about your Microspot 311?

1. Can the Microspot 311 be used with lead oxide cassettes, or does it accept only lead-free cassettes?

2. Are standard generators compatible with the Microspot 311? 3. What would you say is the greatest advantage, for the operator, of using

the Microspot 311? For the patient?

Because my project is due on January 15, I would greatly appreciate your assistance in answering these questions by January 10. Of course, I would be happy to send you a copy of my report when it is completed.

Yours very truly,

Albert K. Stern

FIGURE 9.4 Inquiry Letter

You write an inquiry letter to acquire information. Explain who you are and why you are writing. Make your questions precise and clear, and therefore easy to answer. Explain what you plan to do with the information and how you can compensate the reader for answer- ing your questions.

This writer’s task is to motivate the reader to provide some information. That information is not likely to lead to a sale because the writer is a graduate student doing research, not a potential customer.

Notice the $attery in the !rst sentence.

The writer presents speci!c questions in a list format, making the questions easy to read and understand.

In the !nal paragraph, the writer politely indicates his schedule and requests the reader’s response. Note that he o#ers to send the reader a copy of his report.

If the reader provides information, the writer should send a thank-you letter.

Response to an Inquiry Figure 9.5 shows a response to the inquiry letter JO�'JHVSF�����

Claim Letter 'JHVSF����� PO�QBHF���� is an example of a claim letter that the writer scanned and attached to an email to the reader. The writer’s deci- sion to pre sent his message in a letter rather than an email suggests that he wishes to convey the more-formal tone associated with letters—and yet he wants the letter to arrive quickly.

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Writing Letters 9 249

ORION

721 WEST DOUGLAS AVE. (615) 619-8132 MARYVILLE, TN 31409 www.orioninstruments.com

November 7, 2016

Mr. Albert K. Stern 14 Hawthorne Ave. Belleview, TX 75234

Dear Mr. Stern:

I would be pleased to answer your questions about the Microspot 311. We think it is the best unit of its type on the market today.

1. The 311 can handle lead oxide or lead-free cassettes. 2. At the moment, the 311 is fully compatible only with our Duramatic generator.

However, special wiring kits are available to make the 311 compatible with our earlier generator models—the Olympus and the Saturn. We are currently working on other wiring kits.

3. For the operator, the 311 increases the e!ectiveness of the radiological procedure while at the same time cutting down the amount of "lm used. For the patient, it reduces the number of repeat exposures and therefore reduces the total dose.

I am enclosing a copy of our brochure on the Microspot 311. If you would like additional information, please visit our website at www.orioninstruments.com /products/microspot311. I would be happy to receive a copy of your analysis when it is complete. Good luck!

Sincerely yours,

Andrea Shakir, M.D. Director of Technical Services

Enclosure

c: Robert Anderson, Executive Vice President

FIGURE 9.5 Response to an Inquiry

In responding to an inquiry letter, answer the questions if you can. If you cannot, either because you don’t know the answers or because you cannot divulge proprietary information, explain the reasons and o#er to assist with other requests.

The writer responds graciously.

The writer answers the three ques- tions posed in the inquiry letter.

The writer encloses other information to give the reader a fuller understanding of the product.

The writer uses the enclosure notation to signal that she is attaching an item to the letter.

The writer indicates that she is for- warding a copy to her supervisor.

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WRITING CORRESPONDENCE9 250

255 Robbins Place, Centerville, MO 65101 [417] 555-1850 robbinsconstruction.com

August 17, 2016

Mr. David Larsyn Larsyn Supply Company 311 Elmerine Avenue Anderson, MO 63501

Dear Mr. Larsyn:

As steady customers of yours for over 15 years, we came to you "rst when we needed a quiet pile driver for a job near a residential area. On your recommendation, we bought your Vista 500 Quiet Driver, at $14,900. We have since found, much to our embarrassment, that it is not substantially quieter than a regular pile driver.

We received the contract to do the bridge repair here in Centerville after promising to keep the noise to under 90 dB during the day. The Vista 500 (see enclosed copy of bill of sale for particulars) is rated at 85 dB, maximum. We began our work and, although one of our workers said the driver didn’t seem su#ciently quiet to him, assured the people living near the job site that we were well within the agreed sound limit. One of them, an acoustical engineer, marched out the next day and demonstrated that we were putting out 104 dB. Obviously, something is wrong with the pile driver.

I think you will agree that we have a problem. We were able to secure other equipment, at considerable inconvenience, to "nish the job on schedule. When I telephoned your company that humiliating day, however, a Mr. Meredith informed me that I should have done an acoustical reading on the driver before I accepted delivery.

I would like you to send out a technician—as soon as possible—either to repair the driver so that it performs according to speci"cations or to take it back for a full refund.

Yours truly,

Jack Robbins, President

Enclosure

RC ROBBINS CONSTRUCTION, INC.

A claim letter is a polite, reasonable complaint. If you purchase a defec- tive or falsely advertised product or receive inadequate service, you write a claim letter. If the letter is convincing, your chances of receiv- ing a satisfactory settlement are good because most organizations realize that unhappy customers are bad for business. In addition, claim letters help companies identify weaknesses in their products or services.

The writer indicates clearly in the !rst paragraph that he is writing about an unsatisfactory product. Note that he identi!es the product by model name.

The writer presents the background, !lling in speci!c details about the problem. Notice how he supports his earlier claim that the problem embarrassed him professionally.

The writer states that he thinks the reader will agree that there was a problem with the equipment.

Then the writer suggests that the reader’s colleague did not respond satisfactorily.

The writer proposes a solution: that the reader take appropriate action. The writer’s clear, speci!c account of the problem and his professional tone increase his chances of receiv- ing the solution he proposes.

FIGURE 9.6 Claim Letter

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Writing Letters 9 251

Adjustment Letter 'JHVSFT�����BOE�����TIPX�iHPPE�OFXTu�BOE�iCBE�OFXTu� adjustment letters. 5IF�àSTU�JT�B�SFQMZ�UP�UIF�DMBJN�MFUUFS�TIPXO�JO�'JHVSF�����

311 Elmerine Avenue Anderson, MO 63501 (417) 555-2484 larsynsupply.com

August 22, 2016

Mr. Jack Robbins, President Robbins Construction, Inc. 255 Robbins Place Centerville, MO 65101

Dear Mr. Robbins:

I was very unhappy to read your letter of August 17 telling me about the failure of the Vista 500. I regretted most the treatment you received from one of my employees when you called us.

Harry Rivers, our best technician, has already been in touch with you to arrange a convenient time to come out to Centerville to talk with you about the driver. We will of course repair it, replace it, or refund the price. Just let us know your wish.

I realize that I cannot undo the damage that was done on the day that a piece of our equipment failed. To make up for some of the extra trouble and expense you incurred, let me o!er you a 10 percent discount on your next purchase or service order with us, up to a $1,000 total discount.

You have indeed been a good customer for many years, and I would hate to have this unfortunate incident spoil that relationship. Won’t you give us another chance? Just bring in this letter when you visit us next, and we’ll give you that 10 percent discount.

Sincerely,

Dave Larsyn, President

Larsyn Supply Company

FIGURE 9.7 “Good News” Adjustment Letter

An adjustment letter, a response to a claim letter, tells the customer how you plan to handle the situation. Your purpose is to show that your organization is fair and reasonable and that you value the customer’s business.

If you can grant the request, the letter is easy to write. Express your regret, state the adjustment you are going to make, and end on a positive note by encouraging the customer to continue doing busi- ness with you.

The writer wisely expresses regret about the two problems cited in the claim letter.

The writer describes the actions he has already taken and formally states that he will do whatever the reader wishes.

The writer expresses empathy in making the o#er of adjustment. Doing so helps to create a bond: you and I are both professionals who rely on our good reputations.

This polite conclusion appeals to the reader’s sense of fairness and re$ects good business practice.

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WRITING CORRESPONDENCE9 252

If you are writing a “bad news” adjustment letter, salvage as much goodwill as you can by showing that you have acted reasonably. In denying a request, explain your side of the matter, thus educating the customer about how the problem occurred and how to prevent it in the future.

The writer does not begin by stat- ing that he is denying the reader’s request. Instead, he begins politely by trying to form a bond with the reader. In trying to meet the customer on neutral ground, be careful about admitting that the customer is right. If you say “We are sorry that the engine you purchased from us is defective,” it will bolster the customer’s claim if the dispute ends up in court.

The writer summarizes the facts of the incident, as he sees them.

The writer explains that he is unable to ful!ll the reader’s request. Notice that the writer never explicitly denies the request. It is more e#ective to explain why granting the request is not appropriate. Also notice that the writer does not explicitly say that the reader failed to make a backup copy of the plan and therefore the problem is her fault.

The writer shifts from the bad news to the good news. The writer explains that he has already responded appropriately to the reader’s request.

The writer ends with a polite con- clusion. A common technique is to o#er the reader a special discount on another, similar product.

Quality Storage Media

2077 Highland, Burley, ID 84765 208 r 555 r 1613 qualstorage.com

February 3, 2016

Ms. Dale Devlin 1903 Highland Avenue Glenn Mills, NE 69032

Dear Ms. Devlin:

Thank you for writing us about the external hard drive you purchased on January 11, 2016. I know from personal experience how frustrating it is when a drive fails.

According to your letter, you used the drive to store the business plan for your new consulting business. When you attempted to copy that file to your internal hard drive, the external drive failed, and the business plan was lost. You have no other copy of that file. You are asking us to reimburse you $1,500 for the cost of re-creating that business plan from notes and rough drafts.

As you know, our drives carry a lifetime guarantee covering parts and workmanship. We will gladly replace the defective external drive. However, the guarantee states that the manufacturer and the retailer will not assume any incidental liability. Thus we are responsible only for the retail value of the external drive, not for the cost of duplicating the work that went into making the files stored on the drive.

However, your file might still be recoverable. A reputable data-recovery "rm might be able to restore the data from the file at a very reasonable cost. To prevent such problems in the future, we always recommend that you back up all valuable files periodically.

We have already sent out your new external drive by overnight delivery. It should arrive within the next two days.

Please contact us if we can be of any further assistance.

Sincerely yours,

Paul R. Blackwood, Manager Customer Relations

FIGURE 9.8 “Bad News” Adjustment Letter

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