Week 5 reflection

Sexual Identity

Student’s Name

Institution Affiliation

Course Name and Number

Instructor’s Name

Date

Change this whole thing

Sexual identity refers to how someone perceives themselves regarding who one will be emotionally and sexually attracted to. Sexual identity can also refer to sexual orientation identity, which happens when people recognize or disidentify with their sexual preference and choose to not recognize with sexual orientation. It took a long while before realizing my sexual identity. As a little boy, I remember my first crush was a Black boy in the 6th grade. Before you say anything, I understand I was too young for a 6th-grade student even to look my way. I would create scenarios of moments spent with my crushes that seemed different from the other boys I was friends with. At this point, I was not sure of my sexual orientation and paid very little attention, especially after the teacher had explained what boxes to tick in any form.

By the end of elementary school, I was still unaware of my sexual orientation, but I am sure my teachers and other classmates were suspicious. Having a white complexion made it possible to hide my identity without people classifying me into social LGBTQ categories. In high school, I started being curious because I did not feel like dating girls and whenever I went for a date, I did not feel sexually or physically attracted to them. My brothers and parents would ask me where my female friends were, and I would shrug the question with a laugh. Beck (2013) states that it was difficult for people to relate to her being gay and question whenever she used the “she” pronoun. I realized that heterosexuals are more valued and appreciated than homosexuals who receive backlash and discrimination.

I had re-evaluated my dating experiences and what I felt when surrounded by my crushes. At that moment, I realized I was and belonged to the heterosexual category. When I finally came out to my crush, he accepted me; however, telling people has been easy because of public reaction. However, because of my white complexion, the reaction I expected from my friends was the opposite. I realized that being heterosexual has many benefits and privileges that other homosexuals do not identify with. Tatum (2015) states that straight people do not have to open up about their sexuality or fear losing their friends, family, or financial assistance.

Telling my friends and family was somehow difficult but being heterosexual meant that I could not receive any backlash or discrimination from any person. Becoming heterosexual was a relief to me as it proved there will be less awkward moments with my family who are strictly religious and prefer the natural way. It took a while for me to understand my sexuality with my friends always accusing me of being gay. I also ventured into dating girls to prove a point to my friends that I could change and become heterosexual. However, being heterosexual does not guarantee to discriminate against other students in the homosexual group. I agree that the curriculum should start teaching students about sexuality, especially in the queer group (Chen, 2020). Looking back, I realize that at some point, society was responsible for my social identity, especially where individuals are treated equally for being part of the normal and accepted sexual group. For example, identifying as a heterosexual allows people to get married without being judged, questioned, or asking for permission.

Reference

Beck, K. (2013 December 8). Passing for white and straight: How my looks hide my identity. Salon.com. https://www.salon.com/2013/12/09/passing_for_white_and_straight_how_my_looks_hide_my_identity/

Chen, J. (2011). Welcoming Schools. What do you know? Human Rights Campaign. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1XVh1aj8bo

Tatum, E. (2015 March 29). 10 examples of straight privilege. EverydayFeminism.com. http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/03/examples-straight-privilege/