Work and Family: Introduction and Conclusion needed
Running Head; WORK AND FAMILY 1
WORK AND FAMILY 2
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Week 3 Body Paragraphs |
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Description |
Points Earned |
Points Possible |
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Content |
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Thesis statement is provided and is a complete sentence of 25 words or less: |
1.0 |
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First Main Point/Paragraph is 5-8 Sentences Long, with a Topic Sentence, at least two Supporting Details, and a Concluding Sentence: |
2.0 |
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Second Main Point/Paragraph is 5-8 Sentences Long, with a Topic Sentence, at least two Supporting Details, and a Concluding Sentence: |
2.0 |
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Third Main Point/Paragraph is 5-8 Sentences Long, with a Topic Sentence, at least two Supporting Details, and a Concluding Sentence: |
2.0 |
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Organization and Development |
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Feedback from Organizing Ideas Worksheet has been incorporated: |
1.0 |
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Body Paragraphs are at least 350 words total: |
1.5 |
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Tone and audience are appropriate. Paper is clear and organized properly. |
0.8 |
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References are scholarly and relevant: |
1.0 |
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Mechanics and Formatting |
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Proper template has been used: |
1.0 |
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The paper, including title page, spacing, font, and reference page, is in APA format. |
0.8 |
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Rules of grammar, usage, and punctuation are followed. Spelling is correct: |
0.7 |
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Sub Total: |
13.8 |
/15 |
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Late penalty 10% per day: |
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Total Points: |
13.8 |
/15 |
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Comments: |
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Great work here, LaShanda! You are off to a great start with your body paragraphs. You included your title page, thesis statement, and your reference page. However, your thesis statement is too long here and needs to be condensed. You provided at least 3 body paragraphs, each with a topic sentence, supporting details, and a concluding sentence. Each paragraph was at least 5 sentences long. You had some issues in grammar and APA formatting that I have identified for you here in your draft. As you work on your revisions, consider how you might also integrate direct quotes into your paragraphs. Keep up the great work! |
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[I will point out one or more occurrence of an issue. Please use this feedback to review the entire paper and identify all occurrences of each issue.]
Work and Family
LaShanda Poledore
ENG/100
February 4, 2019
Instructor Jenny Mark
Work and Family
Thesis Statement
Human resource managers can improve the productivity of their employees through three main pillars of the servant leadership model. Using the model, new organizations should embark on providing adequate family leave, work at home days, vocational and sick time leaves. Comment by Jenny Mark: Your thesis statement needs work. The thesis statement needs to be a single, declarative, complete sentence that states your topic and position on it (without the use of informal language, or first and second person language). It should not be longer than 25 words in length. Please take a look at the Thesis Generator in the CWE at http://corptrain.phoenix.edu/thesis_generator/thesis_generator.html and experiment with it to help you craft a thesis statement.
Adequate family leave
All employees are part of a family or are heads of families before they even get to work matters (Liden et al., 2014). Experts in occupational psychology have for some time asserted that employees are more concerned about family issues and that employment engagements are only secondary to their lives (Liden et al., 2014). Cognizant of these issues, employers should strive to ensure that they allow their staff time to attend to matters of family. Mothers should be allowed time with their kids based on their great responsibility to rear kids. The same applies to fathers who would want to spend more time with their fathers. Allowing employees more time to spend with their families will give them positive feelings towards themselves and towards the organization and the employer, consequently resulting in greater corporate responsibility and so increased productivity (Liden et al., 2014). Good relationships between the employee and employer based on this provision occur in healthy families and as a result psychologically health and therefore more efficient in the place of work. Further, more professionals are attracted to the employment sector and mitigate the frustrations people have gotten from cold and inhuman employers. Comment by Jenny Mark: Do you mean fathers spending time with fathers, or fathers spending time with kids? Awkward… Comment by Jenny Mark: Awkward and confusing phrasing. Rewrite for greater clarity. Comment by Jenny Mark: Awkward phrasing – feels like it is missing words essential to the meaning here.
[Remove extra line spacing between paragraphs. Space between each paragraph should be one double space.]
Work at home days
Another way of enhancing the comfort of employers at the workplace is allowing them to have worked at home days. This entails the change work venue to add taste and motivation of employees, which at the end makes them happier about their works (De Clercq et al., 2014). The modern-day working scenario is such that the physical presence of employees at the workplace is not mandatory owing to the widespread use of technologies in the employee’s execution of daily tasks. This can be facilitated through the use of chat groups or, Skype to attend meetings from different geographical positions (De Clercq et al., 2014). The change of the working schedule will allow employees to work at their most comfortable positions where they can fully exploit their potentials. This kind of an arrangement further makes employees feel the management is considerate of their welfare and consequently develop responsibility towards their work and their employers. This way, the organization now has a productive and happy workforce for organizational efficiency. Comment by Jenny Mark: Awkward and confusing. Missing words maybe? Comment by Jenny Mark: Confusing – I am not sure how “taste” applies here. Comment by Jenny Mark: Missing an apostrophe here. Remember, apostrophes are used for contractions and to show possession. Here is a great resource on apostrophes: https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/general_writing/punctuation/apostrophe_introduction.html
Vacation and sick time
All employees are human, and human beings are prone to illnesses that may incapacitate them with others, lowering their vigor and spirit to function as expected. Additionally, continued working eventually wears down employees, making it necessary that they take a break to recuperate and add more energy and vigor. As such, human resource management that is considerate of the welfare of their employees will allow their staff to have someday outs. Labor activists have pushed that employers give full payments to employees in times they are sick and accord them enough rest while scheming the remuneration packages (Albrecht et al., 2015). Overworking employees have has been associated with low productivity as employees develop negative attitudes towards work and the employer lowering their efficiency as a result (Albrecht et al., 2015). Comment by Jenny Mark: Confusing phrasing…
References
Liden, R. C., Wayne, S. J., Liao, C., & Meuser, J. D. (2014). Servant leadership and serving culture: Influence on individual and unit performance. Academy of Management Journal, 57(5), 1434-1452.
De Clercq, D., Bouckenooghe, D., Raja, U., & Matsyborska, G. (2014). Servant leadership and work engagement: The contingency effects of leader-follower social capital. Human Resource Development Quarterly, 25(2), 183-212.
Albrecht, S. L., Bakker, A. B., Gruman, J. A., Macey, W. H., & Saks, A. M. (2015). Employee engagement, human resource management practices and competitive advantage: An integrated approach. Journal of Organizational Effectiveness: People and Performance, 2(1), 7-35.