Communication essay

5

Engaging in Nonverbal Communication

Ben Thompson has traveled to Japan to negotiate a joint business % venture with Haru Watanabe. They both seem to see the mutual benefi t of the project, yet Thompson feels something is wrong in their negotiations. Every time they talk, Watanabe seems uneasy and refuses to hold eye contact. Thompson wonders whether Watanabe is trying to hide something. Meanwhile, Watanabe wonders why Thompson is behaving so rudely if he wants to work together.

In the library, Maria notices a nice-looking guy % two tables away. When he looks up at her, she low- ers her eyes. After a moment, she looks back at him just for a second. A few minutes later, he comes over, sits down beside her, and introduces himself.

Liz Fitzgerald gives a fi nal glance to be sure the % dining room table is just right for dinner: The placemats and blue linen napkins are out, and the silver and glasses sparkle; the bowl of fl owers in the middle of the table adds color, and the serv- ing dishes are warmed and ready to be fi lled with roast beef, buttered new potatoes, and fresh rolls. Liz whisks balsamic vinegar and olive oil together, adds a trace of fresh basil, and sprinkles it on the spinach salad just before calling the family to dinner.

Across town, Benita Bradsher is also preparing dinner for her family. She puts a big % spoon in the pot of mashed potatoes and transfers it from the stove to the kitchen table. Next, she piles plates, paper napkins, knives, spoons, and forks in the mid- dle of the table. She takes the ground beef casserole from the oven, puts it on a potholder on the table, and calls her family to dinner.

What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say. Ralph Waldo Emerson

1. What is nonverbal communication?

2. What types of nonverbal behavior have scholars identifi ed?

3. How does nonverbal communication express cultural values?

4. How can you improve your eff ectiveness in using and interpreting nonverbal communication?

FOCUS QUES TIONS

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Many of us grew up hearing “actions speak louder than words.” The wisdom of this axiom is that nonverbal communication can be as powerful as or more powerful than words. Facial expressions can express love, suspicion,

competitiveness, sorrow, interest, anger, and hatred. Body postures can convey relaxation, nervousness, boredom, and power. Physical objects can symbolize profes- sional identity (stethoscope, briefcase), personal commitments (wedding band, school sweatshirt), and lifestyle (comfortable furniture casually arranged, stiff furniture in formal rooms).

In this chapter, we explore the fascinating realm of nonverbal interaction. We will identify principles of nonverbal communication and then discuss types of nonverbal behavior and guidelines for effectiveness.

The examples that opened this chapter illustrate the power of nonverbal communication. In the fi rst case, Thompson and Watanabe have diffi culty because of different nonverbal communication norms in Japan and the United States. Ben Thompson has learned that eye contact is a sign of honesty and respect, so he looks directly at Haru Watanabe when they talk. In Watanabe’s culture, however, direct eye contact is considered rude and intrusive, so he doesn’t meet Thompson’s gaze and feels uncomfortable when Thompson looks directly at him.

In the library, we see a clear example of gendered patterns of nonverbal com- munication. Maria follows feminine communication norms by indirectly signaling her interest and waiting for the man to initiate contact. He in turn enacts the rules of masculine communication culture by gazing directly at her and moving to her table.

In the fi nal example, nonverbal communication refl ects differences in social back- grounds. Whereas Liz Fitzgerald sets her table with cloth napkins, placemats, sil- ver, crystal, and a vase of fl owers, Benita Bradsher sets her table with pans off the stove and a casual pile of utensils and paper napkins that people can take. What each woman serves and how she sets her table refl ects the teachings of social groups to which she belongs and the time she has in which to prepare a meal.

Gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status, and membership in social groups are aspects of our identities that we communicate day in and day out. Recognizing this, Candice West and Don Zimmerman (1987) and Judith Butler (1990, 1993) observe that we “do gender” or “perform gender” continually by behaving in ways that symbolize femininity or masculinity according to our culture’s views. We also “do” race, class, and sexual orientation by nonverbally expressing those facets of identity. Nonverbal communication, like its verbal cousin, allows us to establish identity, express thoughts and feelings, refl ect on ourselves, defi ne and regulate relationships, and create interaction climates. Like words, nonverbal communication powerfully shapes meaning in our lives.

Principles of Nonverbal Communication Nonverbal communication includes all aspects of communication other than words. In addition to gestures and body language, nonverbal communication includes how we utter words (infl ection, volume), features of environments that affect meaning (tem- perature, lighting), and objects that affect personal images and interaction patterns

96 PART II COMMUNICATION PROCESSES AND SKILLS

(dress, furniture). According to research (Birdwhistell,1970; Hickson, Stacks, & Moore, 2004; Mehrabian, 1981), nonverbal communication accounts for 65% to 93% of the total meaning of communication. Five principles of nonverbal communication clarify its importance in human interaction.

Nonverbal Communication Is Ambiguous Like verbal communication, nonverbal behavior is ambiguous. We can never be sure that others understand the meanings we intend to express with our nonverbal behavior. Conversely, we can’t know whether they read meanings into our behaviors that we do not intend. The ambiguity of nonverbal communication also arises because mean- ings change over time. Spreading apart the fi rst two fi ngers meant victory during the World Wars and came to stand for peace during the 1960s. Both victory and peace are arbitrary meanings of this particular nonverbal behavior.

Nonverbal behaviors also refl ect and perpetuate distinct organizational identities: Bankers, attorneys, and many other professionals are expected to wear business suits or dresses to work, whereas many high-tech companies encourage employees to wear jeans and other informal attire. Each way of dressing refl ects a particular organiza- tional ethos. George W. Bush insisted on formal dress—coat and tie—at all times in the Oval Offi ce. He once chewed out a staff person who dared to wear khakis and a buttoned-down shirt on a Saturday, and the staff person was not allowed to enter the Oval Offi ce (Stolberg, 2009). When he became President, Barack Obama created a less formal working culture in the White House. He sometimes takes off his jacket while working in the Oval Offi ce, and he often skips the tie on weekends.

Like verbal communication, nonverbal communication is learned and guided by rules. These rules reduce the ambiguity of nonverbal communication by telling us what certain behaviors are understood to count as (constitutive rules) and when and where certain behaviors are appropriate and inappropriate (regulative rules). For example, most of us understand that people take turns speaking, and that we should whisper in libraries but it’s appropriate to yell at ball games. We know that we are supposed to raise our hands if we want to ask a question during a lecture but don’t need to raise our hands to speak when interacting with friends. We dress differently for religious services, classes, dates, and job interviews. Insignia that nonverbally communicate rank defi ne people in the military, and salutes are the standard way to acknowledge other military people. These agreed-upon rules reduce but don’t completely eliminate the ambiguity of nonverbal communication.

Nonverbal Behaviors Interact with Verbal Communication Communication researchers have identifi ed fi ve ways in which nonverbal behaviors interact with verbal communication (Andersen, 1999; Guerrero & Floyd, 2006). First, nonverbal behaviors may repeat verbal messages. For example, you might say “yes” while nodding your head. In making a public presentation, a speaker might hold up one, two, and three fi ngers when saying “fi rst,” “second,” and “third,” to let listeners know she or he is moving from the fi rst to the second to the third point of a speech.

Second, nonverbal behaviors may highlight verbal communication, as when you use infl ection to emphasize certain words: “This is the most serious consequence of the policy I’m arguing against.” Third, nonverbal communication may complement, or add to, words. Speakers often emphasize verbal statements with forceful gestures and

CHAPTER 5 ENGAGING IN NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION 97

increases in volume and infl ection; capital or boldfaced letters are used to symbolize the same emphasis in online communication.

Fourth, nonverbal behaviors may contradict verbal messages (Knapp & Hall, 2006). For instance, a group member says, “Nothing’s wrong” in a hostile tone of voice. Finally, we sometimes substitute nonverbal behaviors for verbal ones. You might roll your eyes to show that you disapprove of something or shrug your shoulders instead of saying “I don’t know.” In all these ways, nonverbal behaviors interact with verbal communication.

Nonverbal Communication Regulates Interaction Nonverbal communication can organize interaction between people (Guerrero & Floyd, 2006). You generally know when someone else has fi nished speaking, when a professor welcomes discussion from students, and when a co-worker expects you to speak. Nonverbal cues, more than verbal ones, tell us when to speak and keep silent. By averting our eyes or by increasing our speaking volume and rate, we signal that we don’t want to be interrupted. When we’re fi nished talking, we look at others to signal, “Okay, now someone else can speak.” Most Westerners invite specifi c people to speak by looking directly at them (Drummond & Hopper, 1993; Knapp & Hall, 2006), yet eye contact is used less to regulate interaction in many Asian cultures. Although we’re usually unaware of how nonverbal actions regulate interaction, we rely on them to know when to speak and when to remain silent.

Nonverbal Communication Establishes Relationship-Level Meanings You’ll recall that the relationship level of meaning defi nes individuals’ identities and relationships between people. Nonverbal communication can be powerful in expressing relationship-level meanings (Keeley & Hart, 1994). In fact, some commu- nication scholars call nonverbal communication “the relationship language” because it so often expresses how people feel about one another (Richmond & McCroskey, 1995; Sallinen-Kuparinen, 1992). We use nonverbal communication to convey the three dimensions of relationship-level meaning that we discussed in Chapter 4: respon- siveness, liking, and power. Yet how people communicate responsiveness, liking and disliking, and power depends on the rules of their cultures.

Responsiveness We use eye contact, infl ections, facial expressions, and body posture to show interest in others, as Maria did in one of the examples that opened this chap- ter. In formal presentations and casual conversations, we signal interest by holding eye contact and assuming an attentive posture. As the example with Haru Watanabe and Ben Thompson reveals, however, all cultures do not have the same rules for eye contact. To express lack of interest, Westerners tend to avoid or decrease visual contact and adopt a passive body position or turn away from the other person. Members of Asian cultures are less likely to overtly express lack of interest.

Harmony in people’s postures and facial expressions may refl ect how comfortable they are with each other (Guerrero & Floyd, 2006) and how much they support each other (Trees, 2000). In a cohesive team, many nonverbal behaviors typically signal that members are responsive to one another. In less cohesive groups, nonverbal behavior shows less responsiveness. Happy couples sit closer to one another and engage in more

98 PART II COMMUNICATION PROCESSES AND SKILLS

eye contact than unhappy couples do (Noller, 1986, 1987). Similarly, in work settings peo- ple who like one another often sit together and exchange eye contact.

Liking Nonverbal behaviors are keen indicators of whether we feel positive or negative about others. Smiles and friendly touching among Westerners usually are signs of positive feel-

ings, whereas frowns and belligerent postures express antagonism (Keeley & Hart, 1994). Political candidates shake hands, slap backs, and otherwise touch people whose votes they want. These are general rules of Western society; particular social groups instill more specifi c rules. For example, women generally sit closer together and engage in more eye contact and more friendly touching than men do (Atsuko, 2003; Knapp & Hall, 2006).

Power We use nonverbal behaviors to assert dominance and to negotiate status (Andersen, 1999; Remland, 2000). Compared with women, men generally assume more space and use greater volume and more forceful gestures to assert their ideas (Hall, 1987; Major, Schmidlin, & Williams, 1990). Men are also more likely to move into others’ spaces, as the man in the library moved to Maria’s table in one of the exam- ples that opened this chapter.

Space also expresses power. The connection between power and space is evident in the fact that CEOs usually have large, spacious offi ces, entry-level and midlevel professionals have smaller offi ces, and secretaries often have minuscule workstations, even though sec- retaries often store and manage more material than executives. A widely understood reg- ulative communication rule is that people with status or power have the right to enter the

space of people with less power, but the con- verse is not true. Similarly, more-powerful peo- ple are more likely to touch others, interrupt, and approach more closely than less-powerful people (Hall, Coats, & Smith-LeBeau, 2004). In families, adults usually have more space than children, and men are more likely than

women to have their own rooms and to sit at heads of tables. The Sharpen Your Skill exercise on this page will help you become more attentive to nonverbal modes of expressing power.

Silence, a powerful form of non- verbal communication, can also be a means of exerting control. We sometimes use silence to stifl e oth- ers’ conversation in meetings. Silence accompanied by a glare is doubly powerful in conveying disapproval. Interviewers sometimes use silence to let interviewees know that they are not satisfi ed with answers given and to prompt interviewees to elaborate. In a

Noticing Spatial Clues to Power Relations

Observe a business setting—an offi ce or other work context. To sharpen your insight into spatial indicators of power, answer the following questions:

1. Who has more space? Who has less?

2. Who enters the space of others? Who does not?

3. Who touches others?

4. Who uses commanding gestures? Who does not?

l Clues to Power Relations

SHARPE N YOUR SKILL

MARYAM

Americans do more than one thing at a time. In Nepal, when we talk with someone, we are with that person. We do not also write on paper or have television on. We talk with the person. It is hard for me to accept the custom of giving only some attention to each other in conversation.

ELLEN

Secretaries are the best decoders. They can read their bosses’ moods in a heartbeat. I am a secretary, part-time now that I’m taking courses, and I can tell exactly what my boss is thinking. Sometimes, I know what he feels or will do before he does. I have to know when he can be interrupted, when he feels generous, and when not to cross his path.

CHAPTER 5 ENGAGING IN NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION 99

number of Native American cultures and some Asian cul- tures, silence signals mindful attentiveness.

Nonverbal Communication Refl ects Cultural Values Like verbal communication, no nverbal patterns refl ect rules of specifi c cultures (Andersen et al. 2002; Guerrero & Farinelli, 2009). This implies that most nonverbal commu- nication isn’t instinctual but is learned in the process of socialization. For instance, most Westerners consider it inappropriate to touch or hold hands with same-sex friends, but this is an acceptable way of showing closeness in many Asian cultures (Orbe & Harris, 2001).

The United States is a highly individualist culture in which people want private spaces, and we resent and sometimes fi ght anyone who trespasses on what we consider our territory. We want private homes, and our own rooms. In more collectivist cultures, people tend to be less territorial. For instance, Brazilians routinely stand close to one another in shops, buses, and elevators, and when they bump into each other, they don’t apologize or draw back, as U.S. citizens do. In other countries, such as Hong Kong, people are used to living and working in very close quarters (Chan, 1999).

Western culture prizes time, and that is evident in the presence of clocks in most or all rooms of homes and public spaces and in the nearly universal use of wristwatches, which are not worn by people in many other cultures. Westerners’ time consciousness is also refl ected in the technological devices that are now part of many people’s daily attire. We carry pag- ers and iPods, cell phones, and BlackBerrys to maintain nearly instant contact with others. Orientations toward time are less rigid among other cultural groups, such as Hispanics.

Patterns of eye contact also refl ect cultural values. U.S. society values frankness and asser- tion, so meeting another’s eyes is considered appropriate and a demonstration of per- sonal honesty. Yet in many Asian and northern European countries, direct eye contact is considered abrasive and disrespectful (Hall, 1969). Many Latinos and Latinas express attentiveness and respect by avoiding direct eye contact, whereas European Americans express attentiveness and respect by maintaining it (Orbe & Harris, 2001). In Brazil, eye contact often is so intense that many Northern Europeans consider it staring, which they fi nd rude.

The fi ve principles of nonverbal communication we have discussed provide a founda- tion for a closer look at specifi c kinds of nonverbal communication.

Which person in this photo has greater power? How is it expressed?

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I try to teach my daughter to follow the customs of my native Japan, but she is learning to be American. I scold her for talking loud and speaking when she has not been addressed, but she tells me all the other kids talk loud and talk when they wish. I tell her it is not polite to look directly at others, but she says everyone looks at others here. She communicates as an American, not a Japanese.

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Types of Nonverbal Behaviors Because so much of our interaction is nonverbal, this symbol system includes many kinds of communication. In this section, we will consider ten forms of nonverbal behavior, noticing how we use each to create and interpret meanings:

Kinesics (face and body motion) %

Haptics (touch) %

Physical appearance %

Olfactics (smell) %

Artifacts (personal objects) %

Proxemics (personal space) %

Environmental factors %

Chronemics (perception and use of time) %

Paralanguage (vocal qualities) %

Silence %

Kinesics Kinesics refers to body position and body motions, including those of the face. Our bodies communicate a great deal about how we see ourselves. A speaker who stands erect and appears confi dent announces self-assurance, whereas someone who slouches and shuffl es may seem to say, “I’m not very sure of myself.” We also com- municate moods with body posture and motion. For example, someone who walks quickly with a resolute facial expression appears more determined than someone who saunters along with an unfocused gaze. Similarly, people whose nonverbal behaviors indicate they have suffi cient vigor to take care of themselves and move quickly are less likely to be attacked than people whose posture and movements indicate less vitality (Gunns, Johnston, & Hudson, 2002). We sit rigidly when we are nervous and adopt a relaxed posture when we feel at ease. Audiences show interest by alert body posture.

Body postures and gestures may signal whether we are open to interaction. Speakers who stay behind podiums and read notes often are perceived as less open than speakers who interact more actively with audiences. Someone who sits with arms crossed and looks downward may be perceived as saying, “Don’t bother me.” That’s also a nonverbal strategy students sometimes use to dissuade teachers from calling on them in class. To signal that we’d like to interact, we look at others and sometimes smile. We use gestures to express how we feel about others and situa- tions. We use one hand gesture to say “okay” and a different hand gesture to com- municate contempt.

Our faces are intricate messengers. Our eyes can shoot daggers of anger, issue challenges, express skepticism, or radiate love. The face is particularly powerful in conveying liking and responsiveness (Keeley & Hart, 1994; Patterson, 1992). Many speakers smile to suggest that they are open and friendly. Smiles and warm gazes signal that we like others and are happy being around them (Gueguen & De Gail,

CHAPTER 5 ENGAGING IN NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION 101

2003). Americans often cross their legs while seated, but this is highly offensive according to cultural rules in Ghana and Turkey (Samovar & Porter, 2004).

Poets call the eyes the “windows to the soul” for good reason. Our eyes communicate important and complex messages about how we feel, and we often look at others’ eyes to judge their emotions, honesty, and self-confi dence. This explains why strong eye contact tends to heighten the credibility of public speakers in Western societies. It may also be why cus- tomers leave larger tips to servers who main- tain eye contact while serving them (Davis & Kieffer, 1998). Yet eye contact is not universally regarded as positive. Among traditional Hasidic Jews, for example, boys are taught not to look into women’s eyes.

Haptics Haptics is a term for nonverbal communication involving physical touch. Many communication scholars believe that touching and being touched are essential to healthy life (Ackerman, 1990; Whitman et al., 1999). In disturbed families, parents sometimes push children away and handle them harshly, nonverbally signaling rejection. Conversely, researchers have learned that babies who are massaged thrive more than babies who are touched less (Mwakalye & DeAngelis, 1995).

Research suggests some general sex differences in touching behavior. Compared to men, women are more likely to engage in touch to show liking and intimacy (Andersen, 1999), whereas men are more likely than women to use touch to assert power and control (Jhally & Katz, 2001).

Physical Appearance Western culture places an ex- tremely high value on physi- cal appearance and on specifi c aspects of appear- ance. We fi rst notice obvious physical qualities such as sex, skin color, and size. Based on physical qualities, we may How do Hillary Clinton’s gestures and facial expression infl uence your perceptions of her?

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make inferences about others’ personalities. Although these associations may have no fac- tual basis, they can affect personal and social relationships as well as decisions about hir- ing, placement, and promotion.

Cultures prescribe ideals for physical form, and these vary across cultures. Western cultural ideals today emphasize thinness in women and muscularity and height in men (Davison & Birch, 2001; Lamb & Brown, 2006; Levin & Kilbourne, 2008). The cul- tural ideal of slimness in women leads many women to become preoccupied with dieting and other means of weight control (Buss, 2001). If you’d like to learn more about eat- ing disorders and help for people who have them, go to the book’s online resources for this chapter and click on WebLink 5.1. In her commentary, Cass makes a point that will be familiar to many women.

This general cultural standard for attrac- tiveness is modified by ethnicity and socioeconomic class. Traditional African societies perceive full-figured bodies as symbols of health, prosperity, and wealth, all of which are desirable (Bocella, 2001). African Americans who embrace this value accept or prefer women who weigh more than the ideal for European American women (Mernissi, 2004; Schooler et al., 2004; Walker, 2007). But ethnicity doesn’t operate in isolation. Class member- ship modifies ethnic views about weight. Research shows that African American women who identify strongly with their ethnic cultures tend to resist Caucasian preoccupations with thinness. Conversely, middle-income African American women who are upwardly mobile may deemphasize their ethnic identities, and they are more susceptible to anxiety about weight and to eating disorders (Bocella, 2001).

Physical appearance includes physiological characteristics, such as eye color and height, as well as ways in which we manage, or even alter, our physical appearance. For instance, many people control their physical appearance by dieting, using ste- roids and other drugs, coloring their hair, having cosmetic surgery, wearing colored contact lenses, and using makeup. Cosmetic surgeries of many types are on the rise for both men and women. Women most often have facial surgeries, fat-reduc- tion operations, and breast augmentation or lifting (Barrett & Springen, 2007). The

CASS

I’ve been dieting since I was in grammar school. I’m 5' 5" and weigh 102 pounds, but I want to weigh less. I look at the models in magazines and the women in fi lms, and they are so much slimmer than I am. I have to watch everything I eat and exercise all the time, and I’m still too fat.

Kangaroo Care

Kangaroo Care is the title of Susan Ludington- Hoe’s 1993 book. In it, she tells the story of an

accidental discovery about the importance of touch to human survival. Until recently, it was typical for Western hospital workers to take newborn babies to nurseries where sophisticated monitoring devices could be used to ensure the babies’ health. Babies born prematurely were almost certainly entrusted to medical technology. The wisdom of separating newborns from mothers was challenged by an accidental fi nding from a hospital in Bogotá, Colombia. In the 1980s, the hospital experienced a serious lack of resources, including blankets used to wrap newborns. To keep the babies warm, hospital workers placed the naked babies on their mothers’ naked chests. The babies thrived—more than they had when wrapped in blankets (Miller, 2006). Because the skin-to-skin contact between mothers and babies is similar to that of kangaroo moms and babies, the technique was dubbed “kangaroo care.” Since the accidental discovery in Bogotá, hospitals in the United States have reported that premature babies who experience skin-to-skin contact with their moms are less fussy and calmer than babies who do not (Miller, 2006).

fyi

CHAPTER 5 ENGAGING IN NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION 103

most popular surgeries for men are liposuction, eyelid surgery, and nose reshaping (Mishori, 2005).

Olfactics Olfactics (from the word olfactory, which refers to the sense of smell) is a term for odors and scents—or, more precisely, our perception of them. Mark Knapp and Judith Hall (2006), who study nonverbal behavior, note that the “scientifi c study of the human olfactory system is in its infancy” (p. 196). Even so, we know that smell is a form of communication. The smell of freshly baked bread or cookies often makes us feel com- fortable and warm (and hungry!). Also, as Andy notes, scents we choose to wear can be personal signatures.

Andy is not alone in responding strongly to smells. Natalie Angier (2008), Pulitzer-prize-winning science columnist and science reporter, points out that olfac- tion is the fi rst of our senses to develop and that it remains the quickest—we register and respond to smells faster than to sights or sounds. Further, smells are processed in the brain’s ancient limbic system where emotional memories are stored. That’s why the smell of cinnamon takes me back to baking cookies with Mom when I was 6 years old. Body odors produced by pheromones, the sex-specifi c chemicals our bodies pro- duce, may affect sexual attraction. Male sweat contains a pheromone derived from progesterone, whereas female sweat contains a pheromone linked to estrogen (Bakalar, 2006). Heterosexual men and women respond to the pheromones of the opposite sex with increased activity in the hypothalamus, which is linked to sexual behavior. Interestingly, lesbians respond with elevated hypothalamic activity to the estrogen-like pheromone of other women (Bakalar, 2006).

Artifacts Artifacts are personal objects we use to announce our identities and to personal- ize our environments. More women than men wear makeup and jewelry. Women are also more likely than men to wear form-fi tting clothes and high-heeled shoes. Typically, men wear less jewelry, clothes with less adornment, and functional shoes (Klein, 2001; Johnson, Roberts, & Warell, 2002). Men’s clothing is looser and less binding, and it includes pockets for wallets, change, keys, and so forth. In contrast, women’s clothing often doesn’t include pockets, so women need purses to hold per- sonal items.

We also use artifacts to express cultural and ethnic identities. Indians may wear saris, Native Americans may wear jewelry with tribal symbols, and African Americans may wear clothes and jewelry of traditional African design. Further, as any college student knows, school symbols adorn everything from T-shirts and sweatshirts to car bumpers and notebooks. Wearing something with a symbol of your school on it declares your membership in or loyalty to that campus community.

Artifacts may also be used to announce professional identity. Nurses and doctors usually wear white and often drape stethoscopes around their necks; many execu- tives carry briefcases, whereas students more often tote backpacks. White-collar

ANDY

I dated this one girl for two years, and then we broke up last year. By now, I pretty much don’t think about her unless I pass somebody who is wearing the cologne she wore. One sniff of that transports me back to when she and I were together.

104 PART II COMMUNICATION PROCESSES AND SKILLS

professionals tend to wear tailored outfi ts and dress shoes, whereas blue-collar workers often dress in jeans or uniforms and boots. The military requires uniforms that defi ne individuals as members of the group. In addi- tion, stripes, medals, and insignia signify rank and accomplishments.

We also use artifacts to defi ne settings and personal territories (Bateson, 1990; Wood, 2006). When the President of the United States speaks, the setting usually is decked with symbols of national identity and pride, such as the American fl ag. At annual meet- ings of companies, the chair usually speaks from a podium that bears the company logo. In much the same manner, we claim our pri- vate spaces by fi lling them with objects that matter to us and that refl ect our experiences and values. Lovers of art adorn their homes and offi ces with paintings and sculptures that refl ect their interests. Religious fami-

lies often express their commitments by displaying pictures of holy scenes and the Bible, the Koran, or another sacred text. Professionals may decorate their offi ces with expensive furniture and framed awards to announce their status or with pic- tures of family to remind them of people they cherish. MySpace and Facebook pages

include songs, photos, and images aimed at conveying specifi c personalities. Like other kinds of nonverbal communication, artifacts’ meanings vary across cultures, as the FYI on this page illustrates.

Sam Gosling (2008) recently published an interesting book on artifacts: Snoop: What Your Stuff Says About You. Gosling refers to bumper stickers, tattoos, posters, and so forth as “identity claims,” which give signals about how we want others to perceive us and also remind ourselves of who we are. For instance, when moving out of her home state, one woman Gosling studied tattooed the outline of her state on her inside forearm. It was intended for her eyes to remind her of her home state.

Proxemics and Personal Space Proxemics refers to space and how we use it. The classic research on proxemics was done by Edward Hall in 1968. At the time, Hall reported that every culture has norms for using space and for how close people should

Branded

The artifacts we choose increasingly announce political commitments. A baseball hat says, “End Sweatshop Labor”; a T-shirt proclaims, “Save the Planet”; a bumper sticker reads, “Biodiesel is the future”; a button says, “Free Choice” and another declares, “Pro Life.” More and more people seem to want their clothes, cars, coff ee mugs, and other objects to send messages about their political values. To learn more about this, go to the book’s online resources for this chapter and click on WebLink 5.2 to read an article prepared for the Center for Communication and Civic Engagement.

ENGAGEMENT

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Cultural Rules about Artifacts

Giving gifts can lead to misunderstandings when giver and recipient are from diff erent cultures (Axtell, 2007).

A Chinese person might not appreciate the gift % of a clock, because clocks symbolize death in China.

Giving a gift to an Arab person on fi rst meeting % would likely be interpreted as a bribe.

Bringing fl owers to a dinner hosted by a person % from Kenya would cause confusion because in Kenya fl owers express sympathy for a loss.

In Switzerland, giving red roses is interpreted % as a signal of romantic interest. Also, the Swiss consider even numbers of fl owers bad luck, so never give a dozen.

DIVERSITY fyi

CHAPTER 5 ENGAGING IN NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION 105

be to one another. In the United States, we interact with social acquaintances from a distance of 4 to 12 feet but are comfortable with 18 inches or less between us and friends or romantic partners (Hall, 1968). Most peo- ple who were born and raised in the United States consider it normal for individuals to have separate spaces or rooms. As Sucheng points out, however, what is considered a normal amount of individual space varies from culture to culture.

Space also announces status, with greater space and more desirable space assumed by those with higher status in a culture. Research shows that women and minori- ties generally have less space than European American men in the United States (Andersen, 1999). It’s no coincidence that industries expose our most vulnerable com- munities to pollutants and carcinogens that they seldom foist on middle- and upper- class people. The meaning of this pattern is very clear: “The space of minorities and poor people is often invaded and contaminated, but the territory of more affl uent citi- zens is respected” (Cox, 2008).

How people arrange space may refl ect closeness and desire, or lack of desire, for interaction. Rigidly organized businesses often have private offi ces with doors that are usually closed and little common space. Couples who are highly interdependent tend to have more common space and less individual space in their homes than do couples who are more independent (Fitzpatrick, 1988; Werner, Altman, & Oxley, 1985). Similarly, families who enjoy interaction arrange furniture to invite conversation and eye contact. In families who seek less interaction, chairs may be far apart and may face televisions instead of each other (Burgoon, Buller, & Woodhall, 1989; Keeley & Hart, 1994).

The ways that offi ces are arranged may invite or discourage interaction and may foster equal or unequal power relationships. Some professors and executives have desks that face their offi ce doors and a chair beside the desk to promote open communication with people who come to their offi ces. Other professors and executives turn their desks away from the door and place chairs opposite their desks, which confi gures the space hierar- chically. Whether offi ce doors are open or shut may also indicate willingness to interact.

Environmental Factors Environmental factors are elements of settings that affect how we feel, think, and act. We feel more relaxed in rooms with comfortable chairs than in rooms with stiff, formal furniture. Candlelit dining tables may promote romantic feelings; and churches, syna- gogues, and temples use candles to foster respect. A recent study found that color affects cognitive functions. Red stimulates accuracy, recall, and attention to detail whereas blue stimulates creativity (Belluck, 2009). Perhaps we should have blue computer screens when doing creative writing and red screens when working on math problems.

Restaurants use environmental features to control how long people spend eat- ing. For example, low lights, comfortable chairs or booths, and soft music often are part of the environment in upscale restaurants. On the other hand, fast-food eateries have hard plastic booths and bright lights, which encourage diners to eat and move on. To maximize profi t, restaurants want to get people in and out as quickly as pos- sible. Studies show that fast music in restaurants speeds up the pace of eating; on

SUCHENG

In the United States, each person has so much room! Every individual has a separate room to sleep and sometimes another separate room to work. Also, I see that each family here lives in a separate house. People have much less space in China. Families live together, with sons bringing their families into their parents’ home and all sharing the same space. At fi rst, when I came here, it felt strange to have so much space, but now I sometimes feel very crowded when I go home.

106 PART II COMMUNICATION PROCESSES AND SKILLS

average, people eat 3.2 mouthfuls a minute when the background music is slow and 5.1 mouthfuls a minute when music with a faster tempo is played (“Did You Know?” 1998). Restaurants use a variety of environ- mental cues to create the atmosphere they want—to encourage customers to linger, or to encourage them to eat and run. You can identify some of the environ- mental features that affect a restaurant’s atmosphere by completing the Sharpen Your Skill feature on this page.

In the same way that restaurants and other public places use environmental factors to infl uence mood and behavior, we choose colors, furniture arrange- ments, lighting, and other objects to create the atmo- sphere we desire in our home.

Chronemics Chronemics refers to how we perceive and use time to defi ne identities and interaction. We use time to negoti-

ate and convey status (Levine & Norenzayan, 1999). In Western societies, there seems to be an unwritten but widely understood cultural rule stipulating that people with high status can keep people with less status waiting. Conversely, people with low status are expected to be punctual. Subordinates are expected to report punctually to meetings, but bosses are allowed to be tardy.

Chronemics expresses cultural attitudes toward time, In some cultures, people saun- ter whereas in others they dash from place to place. In some cultures business is con- ducted quickly by staying on task whereas in other cultures it is conducted more slowly by intermingling task and social interaction. According to a study of pace of life (Levine & Norenzayan, 1999), the countries with the fastest pace of life are Switzerland (#1),

Ireland, Germany, and Japan. The countries with the slowest pace of life are Mexico (#31), Indonesia, Brazil, and El Salvador. The United States was 16th—right in the middle of the list. Notice that the slowest pace of life is in countries that have warm climates while the fastest pace of life is in coun- tries with colder climates.

Western societies value time and its cousin, speed (Bertman, 1998; Calero, 2005; Honoré, 2005; Keyes, 1992; Schwartz, 1989). We want comput- ers, not typewriters, and many of us replace our computers and software as soon as faster versions become avail- able. We often try to do several things at once to get more done, rely on the microwave to cook faster, and take for

Increasing Awareness of Environmental Factors

Observe a restaurant in which you feel rushed and another restaurant in which you feel like taking your time. Describe the following for each restaurant:

1. How much space is there between tables?

2. What kind of lighting is used?

3. What sort of music and sound are in the place?

4. How comfortable are the chairs?

5. What colors and art do you see?

Can you make any generalizations about environmental features that promote relaxation and those that do not?

f E i t l F t

SHARPE N YOUR SKILL

How are environmental features in this restaurant likely to shape patrons’ behavior?

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CHAPTER 5 ENGAGING IN NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION 107

granted speed systems such as instant copying and photos (McGee-Cooper, Trammel, & Lau, 1992). The value that Westerners place on time is evident in everyday expres- sions (Lakoff & Johnson, 1980): “You’re wasting my time,” “This new software pro- gram will save time,” “That mistake cost me three hours,” “I’ve invested a lot of time in this class,” “I can’t afford to go out tonight,” “I can make up for lost time by using a shortcut,” and “I’m running out of time.”

Many other cultures have far more relaxed attitudes toward time and punctuality. In many South American countries, it’s normal to come to meetings or classes after the announced time of starting, and it’s not assumed that people will leave when the sched- uled time for ending arrives. In the Philippines, punctuality has never been particularly valued, but that maybe changing. The Philippine Department of Education just launched a 10-year campaign to instill in students the value of being on time (Overland, 2009).

The length of time we spend with different people refl ects the extent of our interest in them and affection for them. A manager is inclined to spend more time with a new employee who seems to have executive potential than with one who seems less impres- sive. A speaker usually gives a fuller answer to a question from a high-status member of the audience than to one from a person with less status. In general, we spend more time with people we like than with those we don’t like or who bore us. Researchers report that increased contact among college students is a clear sign that a relationship is intensifying, and reduced time together signals decreasing interest (Baxter, 1985; Dindia, 1994; Tolhuizen, 1989).

Chronemics also involves expectations of time, which are infl uenced by social norms. For example, you expect a class to last 50 or 75 minutes. Several minutes before the end of a class period, students often close their notebooks and start gathering their belongings, signaling the teacher that time is up. A similar pattern often is evident in business meetings. We expect religious services to last approximately an hour, and we might be upset if a rabbi or minister talked for two hours.

Paralanguage Paralanguage is communication that is vocal but not actual words. Paralanguage includes sounds, such as murmurs and gasps, and vocal qualities, such as volume, rhythm, pitch, and infl ection. Vocal cues signal others to interpret what we say as a joke, a threat, a statement of fact, a question, and so forth. Effective public speakers modulate infl ection, volume, and rhythm to enhance their presentations.

We use vocal cues to communicate feelings to friends and romantic partners. Whispering, for instance, signals confi dentiality or intimacy, whereas shouting conveys anger or excitement. Depending on the context, sighing may communicate empathy, boredom, or contentment. Research shows that tone of voice is a powerful clue to feelings between marital partners. Negative vocal tones often reveal marital dissatis- faction (Noller, 1987). Negative intonation may also signal dissatisfaction or disapproval in work settings. A derisive or sarcastic tone can communicate scorn clearly, whereas a warm voice conveys liking, and a playful lilt suggests friendliness.

Our voices affect how others perceive us. To some extent, we control vocal cues that infl uence image. For instance, we can deliberately sound confi dent in job interviews or when asking for a raise. The president adopts a solemn voice when announcing military actions. Most of us know how to make ourselves sound apologetic, seductive, or angry when those images suit our purposes. In addition to the ways we intentionally use our voices, natural and habitual vocal qualities affect how others perceive us. For instance,

108 PART II COMMUNICATION PROCESSES AND SKILLS

people who speak at slow to moderate rates are perceived as having greater control over interaction than people who speak more rap- idly (Tusing & Dillard, 2000).

Our ethnic heritage and identifi cation infl uence how we use our voices. In general, African American speech has more vocal range, infl ection, and tonal quality than

European American speech (Garner, 1994). In general, African Americans are also more likely than European Americans to signal interest in what another person is say- ing by making listening sounds (“um hmm,” “yeah, yeah”) (Brilhart & Galanes, 1995). Paralanguage also refl ects gender. Men’s voices tend to have louder volume, lower pitch, and less infl ection, features that conform to cultural views of men as assertive and emotionally controlled. Women’s voices typically have higher pitch, softer vol- ume, and more infl ection, features consistent with cultural views of women as emo- tional and deferential. Socioeconomic level infl uences pronunciation, rate of speech, and accent.

Silence A fi nal type of nonverbal behavior is silence, which is a lack of communicated sound. Although silence is quiet, it can communicate powerful messages. “I’m not speaking to you” speaks volumes. Silence can convey contentment when intimates are so comfort- able they don’t need to talk. Silence can also communicate awkwardness, as you know if you’ve ever had trouble making conversation on a fi rst date. Yet the awkwardness

that many Westerners feel when silence falls is not felt by people from some other cul- tures, as Jin Lee explains.

Some parents discipline children by ignor- ing them. No matter what the child says or does, the parents refuse to acknowledge the child’s existence. The silencing strategy may also surface later in life. We sometimes deliberately freeze out others when we’re

angry with them (Williams, 2001). In some military academies, such as West Point, silence is a method of stripping a cadet of personhood if the cadet is perceived as hav- ing broken the academy’s honor code. On the job, silence may signal disapproval, as peers often ostracize whistle-blowers and union-busters. People who violate the rules of chat rooms may be silenced by getting no responses to their messages.

Audiences sometimes shout down speakers they dislike; when angry, romantic partners may refuse to speak; and the Catholic Church excommunicates people who violate its canons. Like other forms of communication, silence—and what it means—is linked to culture. European Americans tend to be talkative; they are inclined to fi ll in silence with words. Among Native Americans, however, historically silence conveys respect, active listening, and thought about what others are saying (Braithwaite, 1990; Carbaugh, 1998).

We’ve seen that nonverbal communication includes kinesics, haptics, physical appearance, olfactics, artifacts, proxemics, environmental factors, chronemics, paral- anguage, and silence. The fi nal section of this chapter gives guidelines for improving nonverbal communication.

LEAH

Everyone in my family knew that when Mother raised her voice we were in trouble, but when our father lowered his, we were in trouble. His voice would drop to this low volume and get very slow and deep. It was a signal to take cover FAST!

JIN LEE

In the United States, people feel it is necessary to talk all of the time, to fi ll in any silence with words and more words. I was not brought up that way. In my country, it is good to be silent some of the time. It shows you are listening to another, you are thinking about what the other says, you are respectful and do not need to put in your words.

CHAPTER 5 ENGAGING IN NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION 109

Guidelines for Eff ective Nonverbal Communication Nonverbal communication, like verbal communication, can be misinterpreted. Following these two guidelines should reduce nonverbal misunderstandings in your interactions.

Monitor Your Nonverbal Communication Think about the preceding discussion of ways we use nonverbal behaviors to announce our identities. Are you projecting the image you desire? Do others interpret your facial and body movements in ways consistent with the image you want to project? Do friends ever tell you that you seem uninterested when really you are interested? If so, you can monitor your nonverbal actions to more clearly communicate your involvement and interest in conversations. To reduce the chance that work associates will think you’re uninterested in meetings, use what you’ve learned in this chapter to engage in nonver- bal behaviors that others associate with responsiveness and attention.

Think also about how you arrange your personal spaces. Have you set up your room, offi ce, apartment, or home to invite the kind of interaction you prefer, or are they arranged in ways that undercut your goals as a communicator? Paying attention to the nonverbal dimensions of your world can empower you to use them more effectively to achieve your interpersonal goals.

Interpret Others’ Nonverbal Communication Tentatively Although popular advice books promise to show you how to read nonverbal commu- nications, no surefi re formula exists. It’s naive to think we can decode something so complex and ambiguous.

In this chapter, we’ve discussed fi ndings about the meanings people attach to nonverbal behaviors. We can never be sure what a particular behavior means to spe- cifi c people in a particular context (Manusov, 2004). For instance, we’ve said that sit- ting close together indicates liking. As a general rule, this is true. However, sometimes contented friends and couples like to have physical distance between them. Partners may also avoid physical closeness when one has a cold or fl u.

People socialized in non-Western cultures learn distinct rules for proxemics. Because nonverbal communication is ambiguous and personal, we should not assume we can interpret it with precision. An ethical principle of communication is to qualify interpreta- tions of nonverbal behavior with awareness of personal and contextual considerations.

Personal Qualifi cations Generalizations about nonverbal behavior state what is gener- ally the case. They don’t tell us about the exceptions to the rule. For instance, although eye contact generally is a sign of responsiveness, some people close their eyes to con- centrate when listening. Sometimes people who cross their arms and condense into a tight posture are expressing hostility or lack of interest in interaction. However, the same behaviors might mean that a person is cold and trying to conserve body heat. Most peo- ple use less infl ection and adopt a slack posture when they’re not really interested in what they’re talking about. However, the same behaviors may mean merely that we’re tired.

Because nonverbal behaviors are ambiguous and vary between people, we need to be cautious about how we interpret these behaviors. A key principle is that we construct the

meanings we attach to nonverbal communication. A good way to keep this in mind is to rely on I-language, not you-language, which we discussed earlier. You-language might lead us to inaccurately say of someone who doesn’t look at us, “You’re communicating lack of interest.” A more responsible statement would use I-language to say, “When you don’t look at me, I feel you’re not interested in what I’m saying.” Using I-language reminds us to take responsibility for our judgments and feelings. In addition, we become less likely to make others defensive by inaccurately interpreting their nonverbal behavior.

Contextual Qualifi cations Like the meaning of verbal communication, the signifi - cance of nonverbal behaviors depends on the contexts in which they occur. Our non- verbal communication refl ects the various settings we inhabit. We are more or less formal, relaxed, and open depending on context. Most people are more at ease and confi dent in their own territories than in someone else’s, so we tend to be more relaxed in our homes and offi ces than in business places; teams often win games when they have the “home turf ” advantage. We also dress according to context—a suit for a job interview, jeans or casual slacks and a shirt for a game.

Immediate physical settings are not the only factor that affects nonverbal communication. As we have seen, all communication refl ects the values and understandings of particular cultures. We are likely to misinterpret people from other cultures when we impose the norms and rules of our culture on them (Emmons, 1998). This suggests that we have an ethical responsibility not to assume that our rules and norms apply to the behaviors of others.

Even within the United States, we have diverse communication cultures, and each has its rules for nonverbal behavior. Ethical communicators try to adopt dual perspective when interpret- ing others, especially when they and we belong to different cultures. To enhance your awareness of cultural infl uences on communication, Chapter 8 deals with that topic in detail.

Using I-Language about Nonverbal Behaviors

This exercise extends principles of I-language we discussed in Chapter 4 to the context of nonverbal communication. Practice translating you-language into I-language to describe nonverbal behaviors.

Example You-language I-language

You’re staring at me.

When you look at me so intensely, I feel uncomfortable.

You-Language I-Language

You’re lying—I can tell because you won’t look me in the eye.

Your perfume stinks.

Don’t you smirk when I’m talking.

You look lazy when you slouch.

about Nonverbal Behaviors

SHARPE N YOUR SKILL

Summary In this chapter, we’ve explored the fascinating world of nonverbal communication. We learned that nonverbal communication is symbolic and functions to supple- ment or replace verbal messages, regulate interaction, refl ect and establish relationship-level meanings, and

express cultural membership. These fi ve principles of nonverbal behavior help us understand the complex ways in which nonverbal communication operates and what it may mean.

110 PART II COMMUNICATION PROCESSES AND SKILLS

CHAPTER 5 ENGAGING IN NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION 111

We discussed ten types of nonverbal communica- tion, each of which refl ects cultural rules and expresses our personal identities and feelings toward others. We use nonverbal behaviors to announce and perform our identities, relying on actions, artifacts, and contextual features to embody what our culture has taught us is appropriate for our gender, race, class, sexuality, and

ethnicity. Because nonverbal communication is ambig- uous, we construct its meaning as we notice, organize, and interpret nonverbal behaviors that we and others enact. Effectiveness requires that we learn to monitor our nonverbal communication and to exercise caution in interpreting that of others.

Review, Refl ect, Extend The Key Concepts, For Further Refl ection and Discussion questions, Recommended Resources, and Experience Communication Case Study that follow will help you review, refl ect on, and extend the information and ideas presented in this chapter. These resources, and a diverse selection of additional study tools, are also available

online at the Premium Website for Communication Mosaics. Your Premium Website includes a student workbook, interactive video activities, a book companion website, Speech Builder Express, and InfoTrac College Edition. For more information or to access this book’s online resources, visit www.cengage.com/login.

KEY CONCEPTS artifacts, 103 chronemics, 106 environmental factors, 105 haptics, 101 kinesics, 100 nonverbal communication, 95

olfactics, 103 paralanguage, 107 physical appearance, 101 proxemics, 104 silence, 108

FOR FURTHER REFLECTION AND DISCUSSION 1. Attend a gathering of people from a culture

different from yours. It might be a meeting at a Jewish temple if you’re Christian, an African American church if you are white, or a meeting of Asian students if you are Western. Observe nonverbal behaviors of the people there: How do they greet one another? How much eye contact accompanies interaction? How close to one another do people sit?

2. Describe the spatial arrangements in the home of your family of origin. Was there a room in which family members interacted a good deal? How was furniture arranged in that room? Who had separate space and personal chairs in your family? What do the nonverbal patterns refl ect about your family’s communication style?

3. Think about current gender prescriptions in the United States. How are men and women “supposed” to look? How are these cultural expectations communicated? How might you resist and alter unhealthy cultural gender prescriptions?

4. Attend a public hearing at your school or in the nearby community. It could be a meeting about zoning, placement of a public facility, etc. Observe nonverbal communication such as where public offi cials and citizens are located (which locations suggest greater power?), timing of the meeting (who might be unable to attend?), artifacts (clothing; who has offi cial fi les?). How do nonverbal factors refl ect and shape what happens in the meeting?