WK 6 Reflection

SEPARATION AND DIVORCE

Linda Dotson

Professor Guy

Walden University

SEPARATION AND DIVORCE

Part 1-Supporting An Infant

Divorce is a traumatizing experience for both the parents and the infant. As young as the infants might appear to be and naive, they still are able to detect changes in their parents’ emotions and energy. From the moment an infant is born they depend on their parents for almost everything. Therefore changes in daily basic care and emotional instability can cause a negative impact on the child`s overall development.

Infants may not be able to understand the verbal communication but can clearly observe the non-verbal communication. The drastic change in their daily routines or the parents` anger can easily be detected by the infant. They are very observant and are able to notice body tension, frowned facial expression and tonal variation (Amato 2014). This, therefore, might lead the infant back to the bottling; sleepwalking, loss of appetite, constant yelling, and biting and many others.

Parents are then required to seek professional guidance. At this stage of infancy, the professional is required to be very sensitive as it revolves around the infant. Breastfeeding is very important therefore parent’s co-parenting should be around this. The mother is able to develop a good routine. I would advise that the parents try to make decisions based on the interest of the infant. Regardless of how the mother feels towards the dad, she should not use this breastfeeding opportunity to deny the father access to the child. In fact, he should try to be more involved in his bathing and play time.

Part 11-Supporting A Toddler

Often when parents are going through a divorce, they forget to separate their issues and the needs of their children. Separation and divorce process is always a difficult moment in a life a toddler. This stage of child development is critical and requires a lot of attention from the parents. At this point, the toddler is learning so many things in life such as walking unsteadily and talking. They need regular interaction and attention from their parents which is often disrupted in the separation or divorce process. They cry when one of the parents is leaving the house or going to another room. During this process they can exhibit negative behaviours such as crying, sucking thumbs, not following toilet training and constant attention seeking.

To adequately deal with these negative impacts, I suggest that the parents should create time to spend quality time with toddler together. They can have extra time for bathing, soothing or even engaging in outdoor activity. All these activities help to reinforce the child`s confidence and improve bonding. I also wish to recommend signing him or her on a crash program at least twice a work for 2 to 3 hours. This will instil some level of independence in him as time goes by.

Part 111-A Preschooler

Preschool children are young enough not to understand the whole concept of divorce. At this stage, they are more developed and are able to talk, walk, eat and read better. They are able to keenly observe their parents emotions and actions. Separation and divorce are devastating to them. They undergo a lot of confusion when one parent leaves and this affects them psychologically and physically. At this point, they develop a lot of questions in their mind and become very fearful. They form an attitude towards their parents, especially for a violent marriage. At times they even start blaming themselves for their parents’ separation and divorce.

At this point, they exhibit negative behaviours to express their frustrations. They express anger through yelling, kicking things, throwing things around, fear to sleep alone, withdrawal and less energy. It therefore important for the parents to note that responding very hostile to this situation will just fuel more anger. At this point what the child needs is attention. You should try and talk to him and give him or her assurance that you love him or her. The parents should come up with a schedule where the child has one week to spend time with each of the parents at their separate homes as opposed to a few hours of visit (Cohen 2002). In addition, they should allow their child sleep in their room and give him or her dolls or play lullaby music or leave the lights open or anything that can help them sleep due to the fear of being alone. I suggest that the parent should invite their friends for sleepovers. You can also get them socially engaged and be present in those activities. For example artwork, dancing, basketball training, singing, instrumental classes so many others.

References

Amato, P. R. (2014). The consequences of divorce for adults and children: An update. Društvena istraživanja: časopis za opća društvena pitanja, 23(1), 5-24.

Cohen, G. J., & Committee on Psychosocial Aspects of Child and Family Health. (2002). Helping children and families deal with divorce and separation. Pediatrics, 110(5), 1019-1023.