400 final
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Wk_8SU21.pptx
LDSR 400 Managing Conflict
Lecture #8
Negotiation – Pt. 2
Professor R. Williams
In Negotiations Balance Your Focus
Content
Process
Getting to yes
Unless otherwise stated, all material from this lecture are curated from the textbook, Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In (2011).
Fisher, R., Ury, W.L. & Patton, B. (2011). Getting to yes: Negotiating agreement without giving in. New York, NY: Penguin Group USA, Inc.
4 principles of negotiation
The 4 principles of negotiation
“PEOPLE: separate the people from the problem.”
“INTERESTS: focus on interests, not positions.”
“OPTIONS: invent multiple options looking for mutual gains before deciding what to do.”
“CRITERIA: insist that the result should be based on some objective standard.”
3 stages of negotiation
The 3 stages of negotiation #1. Analysis
During the analysis stage you are simply trying to diagnose the situation – to gather information, organize it, and think about it.
You will want to consider the people problems of partisan perceptions, hostile emotions, and unclear communication, as well as to identify your interests and those of the other side.
The 3 stages of negotiation #2. Planning
During the planning stage you deal with the same four elements a second time, both generating ideas and deciding what to do.
How do you propose to handle the people problems?
Of your interests, which are the most important?
And what are some realistic objectives?
The 3 stages of negotiation #3. Discussion
During the discussion stage, when the parties communicate back and forth, the same four elements are the best subjects to discuss.
Principle #1: Separate people from problems
“Negotiators are PEOPLE FIRST – A basic fact about negotiation…easy to forget…is that you are dealing not with abstract representatives of the “other side”, but with human beings.
They have emotions, deeply held values, and different backgrounds and viewpoints; and they are unpredictable. So are we.
People get angry, depressed, fearful, hostile, frustrated, and offended, etc…”
…”They have EGOS THAT ARE EASILY THREATENED. They see the world from their own vantage point, and they frequently confuse their perceptions with reality. Routinely they fail to interpret what you say in the way you intended.”
“Whatever you are doing at any point during a negotiation, from preparation to follow up, its worth asking yourself, “Am I paying enough attention to the people factor?”
“Every negotiator has two kinds of interests: IN THE SUBSTANCE AND IN THE RELATIONSHIP – the ongoing relationship is far more important than the outcome of any particular negotiation.”
“The relationship tends to become ENTANGLED with the problem – anger over a situation may lead you express anger toward some human being associated with it in your mind. Egos tend to become involved with positions.”
“Positional bargaining puts RELATIONSHIPS AND SUBSTANCE IN CONFLICT – positional bargaining deals with a negotiator’s interests both in substance and in a good relationship by trading one off against the other.”
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“To sum up, in contrast to positional bargaining, the principled negotiation method of focusing on basic interests, mutually satisfying options, and fair standards typically result in a wise agreement.
The method permits you to reach a gradual consensus on a joint efficiently without all the transactional costs of digging into a position only to have to dig yourself out of them.
And separating the people from the problem allows you to deal directly and emphatically with the other negotiator as a human being regardless of any substantive differences, thus making possible an agreeable outcome.”
So what do we do?
“DISENTANGLE the relationship from the substance; deal directly with the people problem – base the relationship on mutually understood perceptions, clear two-way communication, expressing emotions without blame, and forward-looking, purposive outlook. “
Deal with people problems by changing how you treat people.
What do you Think
So what do we do?
To find your way through the jungle of people problems, it is useful to think in terms of three basic categories:
Perception
Emotion
Communication
#1. perception
Conflict lies not in objective truth but in people’s heads.
#1. Put yourself in their shoes
How you see the world depends on where you sit. People tend to see what they want to see.
Out of a mass of detailed information, they tend to pick out and focus on those facts that confirm prior perceptions and to disregard or misinterpret those that call their perceptions into question.
“The ability to see the situation as the other side sees it, as difficult as it may be, is one of the most important skills a negotiator can posses.”
#2. don’t deduce their intentions from your fears
It is all to easy to fall into the habit of putting the worse interpretation on what the other side says or does.
A suspicious interpretation often follows naturally from one’s existing perceptions.
“People tend to assume that whatever they fear, the other side intends to do.”
#3. Don’t blame them for your problem
Blaming is an easy mode to fall into, particularly when you feel that the other side is indeed responsible.
“But even if blaming is justified, it is usually counterproductive.”
So how do we see the situation from someone else’s point of view?
“If you want to influence them, you also need to UNDERSTAND EMPATHETICALLY THE POWER OF THEIR POINT OF VIEW and to feel the emotional force with which they believe in it.”
So how do we see the situation from someone else’s point of view?
#1. Discuss each other’s perceptions.
“As long as you do this in a frank, honest manner without either side blaming the other for the problem as each sees it, such a discussion may provide the understanding they need to take what you say seriously, and vice versa.”
Make your perception explicit – tell them what you see and why and allow them to express their response to your perceptions.
So how do we see the situation from someone else’s point of view?
#2. Look for opportunities to act inconsistently with their perceptions.
Perhaps the best way to change someone’s perceptions is to send them a message different than they expect.
So how do we see the situation from someone else’s point of view?
#3. Give them a stake in the outcome by making sure they participate in the process.
If they are not involved in the process, they are unlikely to approve the product.
“Agreement becomes much easier if both parties feel ownership of the ideas.”
So how do we see the situation from someone else’s point of view?
#4. Face saving…make your proposals consistent with their values.
“Often in a negotiation people will continue to hold out not because the proposal on the table is unacceptable, but because they want to avoid feeling or appearance of back down to the other side.”
Face-saving reflects people’s need to reconcile their stand taken in a negotiation or an agreement with their existing principles and with their past words and deeds.
| Tenant’s Perceptions | Landlady’s Perceptions |
| The rent is to high With other costs going up, I can’t afford to pay more for housing. The apartment needs painting. I know people who pay less for a comparable apartment. Young people like me can’t afford to pay high rent. The rent is ought to be lower, the neighborhood is run down. I am a desirable tenant with no cats and dogs. I always pay rent whenever she asks for it. | The rent has not been increased in a long time With other costs going up, I need more rental income. He has given the apartment heavy wear and tear. I know people who pay more for a comparable apartment. Young people make lots of noise and are hard on an apartment. We landlords should raise rents and improve the quality of the neighborhood. His loud music drives me crazy. He never pays the rent until I ask for it. |
Break-Out
Which tool/idea from perception lands with you?
Useful?
Something you have not thought of?
Something you think is effective?
Identify one and share with your group
Discuss and recommend one back to the larger group in the Chat on Zoom
#2. emotion
First recognize and understand emotions: theirs and yours
Pay attention to core concerns
Many emotions in negotiation are driven by a core set of five interests
Autonomy – the desire to make your own choices and control your own fate.
Appreciation – the desire to be recognized and valued.
Affiliation – the desire to belong as an accepted member of some peer group.
Role – the desire to have a meaningful purpose.
Status – the desire to feel fairly seen and acknowledged”
Consider the Role identity
“Another sure-fire driver of strong negative emotion is a perceived threat to identity – one’s self-image or self-respect.”
Make emotions explicit
“Make emotions EXPLICIT and ACKNOWLEDGE THEM as LEGITIMATE”
“Talk with the people on the other side about their emotions. Talk about your own.”
Let off steam…and don’t react to emotional outbursts
“People obtain psychological release through the simple process of recounting their grievances to an attentive audience.”
Allow the other side to LET OFF STEAM and make space for you to do the same.
Control your emotions and you can control the outcome of the interaction.
Use symbolic gestures
“On many occasions an apology can defuse emotions effectively, even when you do not acknowledge a personal responsibility for the action or admit an intention to harm. An apology may be one of the least costly and most rewarding investments you can make.”
A note of sympathy, a statement of regret, delivering a small present, shaking hands, embracing, eating together.
#3. communication
Without communication there is no negotiation.
Active listening
“Listen actively and acknowledge what is being said.”
“Listening enables you to understand their perceptions, feel their emotions, and hear what they are trying to say.”
Provide feedback
“As you repeat what you understood to them to have said, phrase it POSITIVELY from their point of view, making the strength of their case clear.”
Understanding is not the same as agreeing
“One can at the same time understand perfectly and disagree completely with what the other side is saying.”
Speak to be understood
“It is easy to forget sometimes that a negotiation is not a debate. Nor is it a trial.
You are not trying to persuade some third party. The person you are trying to persuade is seated at the table with you.”
Speak for a purpose
“Before making a significant statement, know what you want to communicate or find out, and know what purpose this information will serve.”
Break-Out
Which tool/idea from communication lands with you?
Useful?
Something you have not thought of?
Something you think is effective?
Identify one and share with your group
Discuss and recommend one back to the larger group in the Chat on Zoom
For next class
Review today’s slides.
Keep reading
Respond to DQ#2
