400 final
Tamummy
Wk_5SU21.pptx
LDSR 400 Managing Conflict
Lecture #5
Crucial Accountability Pt. 2
Professor R.Williams
Crucial accountability
Unless otherwise stated, all material from this lecture are curated from the textbook, Crucial Accountability: Tools for Resolving Violated Expectations, Broken Commitments and Bad Behavior (2013).
Patterson, K., Grenny, J., MaxField, D., McMillon, R., & Switzler, A. (2013). Crucial accountability. New York, NY: McGraw Hill Education.
Summary and what is next – Crucial Accountability
Me First
Right conversation
My story
Create safety
Respect & purpose
Describe the gap
Action
Have a plan
Follow-up
Rest of the story
Make it motivating
Make it easy
Stay flexible and focused
In-class reflection
Unpacking Crucial Conversations with Joseph Grenny
This will be the basis for Analysis & Reflection Paper #2
What is one Thing about you that you can't tell by looking at you?
Take a couple of minutes and share.
Please, post examples in the Zoom Chat function.
Accountability Crucial conversations model
Before the Accountability Crucial Conversation
Readings: Introduction, Part One & Chapters 1-2
During the Accountability Crucial Conversation
Readings: Part Two & Chapters 3,4,5 & 6
After the Accountability Crucial Conversation
Readings: Part Three & Chapters 7,8 & 9
Who is your role model as a leader? Why?
Take a few of minutes and share.
Please, post examples in the Zoom Chat function.
Share your role models most pronounced characteristic that you admire.
Violence does NOT motivate people to do better!
”When people gain success through abuse, they succeed in spite of their method, not because of it. For over five decades scholars have shown that abusive leadership styles don’t succeed over the long haul, and over the short haul they’re simply immoral.
The greatest leaders, coaches, and parents studied never became abusive. And during those weak moments when they may have briefly stepped over the line, they never argued that others needed or deserved it.” (p. 57)
10
So what do we do? Tell the rest of the story
Ask the humanizing questions…
“What am I missing here?”
“What information don’t I have about ____”
“What other sources of influence are acting on this person?”
Six sources of influence
We need to evaluate the accountability gap in terms of two components of behavior, motivation and ability, and three spheres of influence, self (personal), others (social) and things (structures). (p. 60)
Source #1: Personal motivation
Are they motivated?
Does the action bring pleasure or pain?
Is there a personal benefit to the action?
Source #2: Personal ability
Are they able?
Do they have the skill or knowledge to carry out the task?
Is there a barrier they are facing?
Source #3: Social Motivation
Is there social/ peer pressure that is influencing their motivation?
What personal social factors are causing them to lack accountability, incomplete work or create gap problems in relation to expectations and realities?
Source #4: Social ability
People can either be a help or a hindrance. We do not work in a vacuum so we need others to do their part so we can do our part.
But what if we are part of the problem? Ask ourselves if we are contributing to the gap with our actions, inactions or attitude?
Are there social structures that are contributing/ creating pressure and adding to the problem? For example, open office concepts, lack of computers/ desk space, etc…
Source #5: Structural Motivation
How does the environment we live or work in help or hinder accountability?
How do things motivate us?
Financial, promotion, job satisfaction, possibility of advancement, ability to learn and lead…do our organizational structures allow for human flourishing and motivate us?
Source #6: Structural ability
How does the environment we live or work in help or hinder accountability?
Does our physical workspace, individual and teamwork structures, lack of socializing, team development hinder our ability to get things done, to contribute to a greater purpose, to feel valued and seen?
Pay attention to gadgets and data to help close the accountability gap.
Explore the “what” & ”If” questions and then master your story and you will be better prepared to undertake an accountability crucial conversation
1. Master my stories.
2. Tell the rest of the story.
3. Look at all six sources of influence – personal, social and structural influences.
4. Expand motive to include the influence of others on the violated promise.
5. Examine ability and ask the question, can they do what is required?
In Pairs or Small Groups
Generate examples for each box in the six-cell human behaviour model.
For motivation?
Individual
Social
Organizational
For ability?
Individual
Social
Organizational
What is the benefit of looking at all the different reasons for a behaviour?
How might this model change how you approach a difficult conversation?
What are best practices?
“A best practice is a technique or methodology that, through experience and research, has proven to reliably lead to a desired result. A commitment to using the best practices in any field is a commitment to using all the knowledge and technology at one's disposal to ensure success.
The term is used frequently in the fields of health care, government administration, the education system, project management, hardware and software product development, and elsewhere.”
Retrieved from https://searchsoftwarequality.techtarget.com/definition/best-practice
During the accountability crucial conversation
During the accountability crucial conversation… describe the gap
Describe the Gap
Between expectation and behaviours
Start with safety
Share your path
End with a question
1. What does it mean to start with safety?
People feel unsafe when they believe in one of two things.
1. Respect: you don’t respect them (you lack mutual respect).
2. Purpose: you don’t care about their goals (you lack mutual purpose).
When safety is threatened, people go to silence or violence.
Best practices to creating safety
If you suspect the person will feel offended or defensive, prepare before hand by explaining what you do and do not mean.
Build/ create mutual purpose, ie: “We both want a healthy work environment, right?”
Ask for permission.
Be gracious.
Speak in private.
Avoid inappropriate humour.
Don’t attack the group to deal with one person’s infraction.
2. Share your path
Remember the Path to Action Model?
What details do we talk about?
Where do you start?
Best practices to sharing our path
Share your Story
Start with the facts of your story
Example p. 96 (Me & Martha)
Explain the what , not the why – “facts tells us what is going on
What example: You spoke so quietly it was hard to hear.
Conclusions tells us why we think it’s going on. Why example: You’re afraid.
Gather facts from them as well
No harsh conclusions
Big Idea #2 make it safe
To make it safe we need to have mutual purpose and mutual respect.
Mutual Purpose: Others perceive you are working toward a common outcome or goal. Need to start with the heart - what do I want for me, for others, for the relationship?
Mutual Respect: A continuance condition of dialogue. Respect is like air, if you take it away its all people can think about. Learn to look for ways you are similar and what you have in common.
3. End with a question
End with a simple diagnostic question…
What Happened?
Best practices to ending with a question
State one question and then LISTEN
Listen for the 6 areas of influence to help you diagnose the problem:
Is it a motivation problem?
Is it an ability problem?
Remember to listen to the underlying cause
In Pairs or Small Groups
Role play.
One person did not finish their contribution to a group project time.
The other person was disappointed when this commitment was broken.
If you have a third person, observe the interaction.
Using what we learned so far…….
What was your story?
Learn their story?
Did you create safety?
Did you state the gap?
Did you end with a question?
Review: Analysis & reflection Paper #2: crucial accountability
Using the text, Crucial Accountability (2013), you will be making some key discoveries about areas that you both succeed and struggle with in keeping yourself and others accountable.
STEP 1: After reading the textbook, take the self-assessment test (Appendix A, pp. 247-251) and look at your results. The survey is divided in the seven chapters of the book that cover the crucial accountability skills (five questions each).
STEP 2: Look at your results chapter by chapter (so you need to read each chapter!).
STEP 3: Choose two of the seven areas where you scored the most “yes” answers. Observe analyze and reflect on those specific areas.
STEP 4: Does your MVS give you any insights as to patterns you have when it comes to handling issues of accountability?
STEP 5: Create your own best practices list of how you can improve your accountability to yourself and others as you navigate bad behavior and broken promises in your work/home/school/ life relationships.
Grading rubric
Take away
Steps
1 Me first, 2 Safety, 3 Action
Core principles
1 Right conversation, your story, rest of story
2 Describe the gap, motivation, make it easy, flexible and focused
3 Plan and follow-up
Best practices
Ask questions, listen for underlying reasons, ask for permission, etc.
For next two Classes
READ:
Crucial Accountability by Patterson, Grenny, Maxfield, McMillan & Switzler (2013)
Part 2: Chapters 3-6, pp. 73-191
Part 3: Chapters 7-9, pp. 193-246
Reflection Paper #1
Reflection Paper #2
Why don’t we hold each other accountable?
1. A lack of skills. We don’t know how to do it directly and safely.
2. Fear: we are afraid of damaging the relationship, or of how they will react, or of our ability to handle a potential confrontation.
If you don’t TALK it out you WILL act it out.
Acting it out is worse in the short and long run than addressing the issue head-on and solving it.
What to do before an accountability crucial conversation
Start with Ourselves:
1. Examine “what” and “if”
2. Master MY Stories
Mastering our stories
“Anyone who has ever held others accountable realizes that a person’s behavior during the first few seconds of the interaction sets the tone for everything that follows”.
(pp. 47)
PP. 50
We sometimes tell ugly stories
This is how we try to make sense of what happened.
We jump to conclusions that are not accurate.
We confuse intent with impact and create stories around the impact to us.
Those ugly stories lead to silence or violence…
Silence or violence?
Silence is approval of the behavior.
Silence is unfair to others.
Silence builds up until you explode.
Violence is costly.
Violence makes us hypocritical, abusive or simply stupid.
Violence gives us permission to justify our bad behavior.
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