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RACE

When and How to Respond to Microaggressions by Ella F. Washington , Alison Hall Birch and Laura Morgan Roberts

July 03, 2020

HBR Staff/KKGAS/Stocksy

In U.S. workplaces — and around the world — people are finally engaging in real

conversations about race, justice, diversity, equality, and inclusion. That’s a good thing,

hopefully paving the way for meaningful anti-racist action from both individuals and

organizations. But those discussions will in all likelihood be very uncomfortable — not just

for white employees and leaders who might be confronting their privilege for the first time

but also for people of color, especially Black Americans, who know that candid talks with

colleagues will mean they either face or need to call out “microaggressions.”

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These are incidents in which someone accidentally (or purposely) makes an offensive

statement or asks an insensitive question. Microagressions are defined as verbal,

behavioral, and environmental indignities that communicate hostile, derogatory, or

negative racial slights and insults to the target person or group. For Black people, they are

ubiquitous across daily work and life. Here are a few seemingly innocuous statements that,

in the context of racist assumptions and stereotypes, can be quite damaging.

“When I see you, I don’t see color.” (signaling that the person doesn’t acknowledge your

Blackness or won’t hold it against you)

“We are all one race: the human race.” (signaling that your experience as a Black person

is no different from the experience of people of other races)

“You are so articulate.” (signaling that Black people are not usually capable of competent

intellectual conversation)

“I see your hair is big today! Are you planning to wear it like that to the client meeting?”

(signaling that natural Black hairstyles are not professional)

“Everyone can succeed in society if they work hard enough.” (signaling that disparate

outcomes for Black people result from laziness)

As suggested by the name, microaggressions seem small; but compounded over time, they

can have a deleterious impact on an employee’s experience, physical health, and

psychological well-being. In fact, research suggests that subtle forms of interpersonal

discrimination like microaggressions are at least as harmful as more-overt expressions of

discrimination.

Microaggressions reinforce white privilege and undermine a culture of inclusion. The best

solution is, of course, increasing awareness of microaggressions, insisting that non-Black

employees stop committing them, and calling out those who do. But in the absence of

those changes — and understanding that complete prevention is probably impossible —

how should Black employees and managers respond to the microaggressions they face,

within and outside of current discussions around race in the workplace?

There are three main ways to react:

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Let it go. For a long time, the most common default response was choosing not to address

offensive comments in the workplace. Because they are pervasive yet subtle, they can be

emotionally draining to confront. Yet silence places an emotional tax on Black employees,

who are left wondering what happened and why, questioning their right to feel offended,

and reinforcing beliefs that they are not safe from identity devaluation at work.

Respond immediately. This approach allows the transgression to be called out and its

impact explained while the details of the incident are fresh in the minds of everyone

involved. Immediacy is an important component of correcting bad behavior. But this

approach can be risky. The perpetrator might get defensive, leaving the target feeling like

they somehow “lost control,” did not show up as their best self, and will be labeled an

overly sensitive whiner, a trouble-maker, or the stereotypical angry Black person.

Respond later. A more tempered response is to address the perpetrator privately at a later

point to explain why the microaggression was offensive. Here, the risk lies in the time lag.

A follow-up conversation requires helping the person who committed the microaggression

to first recall it and then to appreciate its impact. The Black employee bringing it up might

be deemed petty — like someone who has been harboring resentment or holding on to

“little things” while the other party, having “meant no harm,” has moved on. Such

accusations are a form of racial gaslighting, which can be very damaging.

We recommend the following framework for determining which course is best for you in

any given situation and then, if you decide to respond, ensuring an effective dialogue.

Discern. Determine how much of an investment you want to make in addressing the

microaggression. Do not feel pressured to respond to every incident; rather, feel

empowered to do so when you decide you should. Consider:

The importance of the issue and the relationship. If either is or both are important to you,

avoidance is the wrong approach. Express yourself in a way that honors your care for

the other party, and assert yourself in a way that acknowledges your concern about the

issue.

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Your feelings. Microaggressions can make you doubt the legitimacy of your reactions.

Allow yourself to feel what you feel, whether it’s anger, disappointment, frustration,

aggravation, confusion, embarrassment, exhaustion, or something else. Any emotion is

legitimate and should factor into your decision about whether, how, and when to

respond. With more-active negative emotions such as anger, it’s often best to address

the incident later. If you’re confused, an immediate response might be preferable. If

you’re simply exhausted from the weight of working while Black, maybe it is best to let

it go — meaning best for you, not for the perpetrator.

How you want to be perceived now and in the future. There are consequences to speaking

up and to remaining silent. Only you can determine which holds more weight for you in

any specific situation.

Disarm. If you choose to confront a microaggression, be prepared to disarm the person

who committed it. One reason we avoid conversations about race is that they make people

defensive. Perpetrators of microaggressions typically fear being perceived — or worse,

revealed — as racist. Explain that the conversation might get uncomfortable for them but

that what they just said or did was uncomfortable for you. Invite them to sit alongside you

in the awkwardness of their words or deeds while you get to the root of their behavior

together.

Defy. Challenge the perpetrator to clarify their statement or action. Use a probing

question, such as “How do you mean that?” This gives people a chance to check themselves

as they unpack what happened. And it gives you an opportunity to better gauge the

perpetrator’s intent. One of the greatest privileges is the freedom not to notice you have

privilege; so microaggressions are often inadvertently offensive. Acknowledge that you

accept their intentions to be as they stated but reframe the conversation around

the impact of the microaggression. Explain how you initially interpreted it and why. If they

continue to assert that they “didn’t mean it like that,” remind them that you appreciate

their willingness to clarify their intent and hope they appreciate your willingness to clarify

their impact.

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Decide. You control what this incident will mean for your life and your work — what you

will take from the interaction and what you will allow it to take from you. Black people, as

well as those with various other marginalized and intersectional identities, are already

subject to biased expectations and evaluations in the workplace. Life is sufficiently taxing

without allowing microaggressions to bring you down. Let protecting your joy be your

greatest and most persistent act of resistance.

A note of advice for non-Black allies old and new: The work of allyship is difficult. You will

make mistakes as you learn — and you will always be learning. For anyone accused of

committing a microaggression or counseling someone who has been accused, here are a

few notes on how to respond:

Remember that intent does not supersede impact.

Seek to understand the experiences of your Black peers, bosses, and employees without

making them responsible for your edification.

Believe your Black colleagues when they choose to share their insights; don’t get

defensive or play devil’s advocate.

Get comfortable rethinking much of what you thought to be true about the world and

your workplace and accept that you have likely been complicit in producing inequity.

Although more organizations are encouraging candid discussions on race in the

workplace, we cannot ignore the historical backlash that Black employees have endured

for speaking up. Cultural change takes time and intention. So while we encourage timely

and strategic dialogue about microaggressions, it is ultimately up to each individual to

respond in the way that is most authentic to who they are and how they want to be

perceived.

Ella F. Washington is a professor of practice at Georgetown University’s McDonough

School of Business and the founder of Ellavate Solutions, which provides executive coaching

and diversity and inclusion strategy and training for organizations. She can be reached

at [email protected].

Alison Hall Birch is an assistant professor at the College of Business at the University of

Texas, Arlington (UTA), where she studies stigma-based bias, diversity management, and

leadership.

Laura Morgan Roberts is a professor of practice at the University of Virginia’s Darden

School of Business, and the co-editor of Race, Work and Leadership: New Perspectives on the

Black Experience (Harvard Business Press, 2019).