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MANAGING YOURSELF

What Self-Awareness Really Is (and How to Cultivate It) by Tasha Eurich

JANUARY 04, 2018

ARCHI TRUJILLO/GETTY IMAGES

Self-awareness seems to have become the latest management buzzword — and for good reason.

Research suggests that when we see ourselves clearly, we are more confident and more creative. We

make sounder decisions, build stronger relationships, and communicate more effectively. We’re less

likely to lie, cheat, and steal. We are better workers who get more promotions. And we’re more-

effective leaders with more-satisfied employees and more-profitable companies.

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About Our Research The major components of our research included:

Analyzing the results of nearly 800 existing scientic studies to understand how previous researchers dened self- awareness, unearth themes and trends, and identify the limitations of these investigations.

Surveying thousands of people across countries and industries to explore the relationship between self-awareness and several key attitudes and behaviors, like job satisfaction, empathy, happiness, and stress. We also surveyed those who knew these people well to determine the relationship between self and other ratings of self-awareness.

Developing and validating a seven factor, multi-rater assessment of self- awareness, because our review of the research didn’t identify any strong, well- validated, comprehensive measures.

Conducting in depth interviews with 50 people who’d dramatically

As an organizational psychologist and executive coach, I’ve had a ringside seat to the power of

leadership self-awareness for nearly 15 years. I’ve also seen how attainable this skill is. Yet, when I

first began to delve into the research on self-awareness, I was surprised by the striking gap between

the science and the practice of self-awareness. All things considered, we knew surprisingly little

about improving this critical skill.

Four years ago, my team of researchers and I embarked on a large-scale scientific study of self-

awareness. In 10 separate investigations with nearly 5,000 participants, we examined what self-

awareness really is, why we need it, and how we can increase it. (We are currently writing up our

results for submission to an academic journal.)

Our research revealed many surprising

roadblocks, myths, and truths about what self-

awareness is and what it takes to improve it.

We’ve found that even though most people

believe they are self-aware, self-awareness is a

truly rare quality: We estimate that only 10%–15%

of the people we studied actually fit the criteria.

Three findings in particular stood out, and are

helping us develop practical guidance for how

leaders can learn to see themselves more clearly.

#1: There Are Two Types of Self-Awareness

For the last 50 years, researchers have used

varying definitions of self-awareness. For

example, some see it as the ability to monitor our

inner world, whereas others label it as a

temporary state of self-consciousness. Still others

describe it as the difference between how we see

ourselves and how others see us.

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improved their self-awareness to learn about the key actions that helped them get there, as well as their beliefs and practices. Our interviewees included entrepreneurs, professionals, executives and even a Fortune 10 CEO. (To be included in our study, participants had to clear four hurdles: 1) they had to see themselves as highly self-aware, which we measured using our validated assessment, 2) using that same assessment, someone who knew them well had to agree, 3) they had to believe they’d experienced an upward trend of self-awareness over the course of their life. Each participant was asked to recall their level of self-awareness at different stages of their life up until the age they were currently (e.g., early adulthood: ages 19-24, adulthood: ages 25-34, mid-life: ages 35-49, mature adulthood: ages 50-80), and 4) the person rating them had to agree with the participants’ recollections.)

Surveying hundreds of managers and their employees to learn more about the relationship between leadership self-awareness and employee attitudes like commitment, leadership effectiveness, and job satisfaction.

Coauthors on this work are: Haley M. Woznyj, Longwood University Phoenix Van Wagoner, Leeds School of Business, University of Colorado Eric D Heggestad University of North

So before we could focus on how to improve self-

awareness, we needed to synthesize these

findings and create an overarching definition.

Across the studies we examined, two broad

categories of self-awareness kept emerging. The

first, which we dubbed internal self-awareness,

represents how clearly we see our own values,

passions, aspirations, fit with our environment,

reactions (including thoughts, feelings, behaviors,

strengths, and weaknesses), and impact on

others. We’ve found that internal self-awareness

is associated with higher job and relationship

satisfaction, personal and social control, and

happiness; it is negatively related to anxiety,

stress, and depression.

The second category, external self-awareness,

means understanding how other people view us,

in terms of those same factors listed above. Our

research shows that people who know how others

see them are more skilled at showing empathy

and taking others’ perspectives. For leaders who

see themselves as their employees do, their

employees tend to have a better relationship with

them, feel more satisfied with them, and see them

as more effective in general.

It’s easy to assume that being high on one type of

awareness would mean being high on the other.

But our research has found virtually no

relationship between them. As a result, we identify four leadership archetypes, each with a different

set of opportunities to improve:

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When it comes to

internal and

external self-

awareness, it’s

tempting to value

one over the other.

But leaders must

actively work on

both seeing

themselves clearly

and getting

feedback to

understand how others see them. The highly self-aware people we interviewed were actively

focused on balancing the scale.

Take Jeremiah, a marketing manager. Early in his career, he focused primarily on internal self-

awareness — for example, deciding to leave his career in accounting to pursue his passion for

marketing. But when he had the chance to get candid feedback during a company training, he

realized that he wasn’t focused enough on how he was showing up. Jeremiah has since placed an

equal importance on both types of self-awareness, which he believes has helped him reach a new

level of success and fulfillment.

The bottom line is that self-awareness isn’t one truth. It’s a delicate balance of two distinct, even

competing, viewpoints. (If you’re interested in learning where you stand in each category, a free

shortened version of our multi-rater self-awareness assessment is available here.)

#2: Experience and Power Hinder Self-Awareness

Contrary to popular belief, studies have shown that people do not always learn from experience,

that expertise does not help people root out false information, and that seeing ourselves as highly

experienced can keep us from doing our homework, seeking disconfirming evidence, and

questioning our assumptions.

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And just as experience can lead to a false sense of confidence about our performance, it can also

make us overconfident about our level of self-knowledge. For example, one study found that more-

experienced managers were less accurate in assessing their leadership effectiveness compared with

less experienced managers.

Similarly, the more power a leader holds, the more likely they are to overestimate their skills and

abilities. One study of more than 3,600 leaders across a variety of roles and industries found that,

relative to lower-level leaders, higher-level leaders more significantly overvalued their skills

(compared with others’ perceptions). In fact, this pattern existed for 19 out of the 20 competencies

the researchers measured, including emotional self-awareness, accurate self-assessment, empathy,

trustworthiness, and leadership performance.

Researchers have proposed two primary explanations for this phenomenon. First, by virtue of their

level, senior leaders simply have fewer people above them who can provide candid feedback.

Second, the more power a leader wields, the less comfortable people will be to give them

constructive feedback, for fear it will hurt their careers. Business professor James O’Toole has added

that, as one’s power grows, one’s willingness to listen shrinks, either because they think they know

more than their employees or because seeking feedback will come at a cost.

But this doesn’t have to be the case. One analysis showed that the most successful leaders, as rated

by 360-degree reviews of leadership effectiveness, counteract this tendency by seeking frequent

critical feedback (from bosses, peers, employees, their board, and so on). They become more self-

aware in the process and come to be seen as more effective by others.

Likewise, in our interviews, we found that people who improved their external self-awareness did

so by seeking out feedback from loving critics — that is, people who have their best interests in mind

and are willing to tell them the truth. To ensure they don’t overreact or overcorrect based on one

person’s opinion, they also gut-check difficult or surprising feedback with others.

Even though most people believe they are self- aware, only 10-15% of the people we studied actually t the criteria.

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#3: Introspection Doesn’t Always Improve Self-Awareness

It is also widely assumed that introspection — examining the causes of our own thoughts, feelings,

and behaviors — improves self-awareness. After all, what better way to know ourselves than by

reflecting on why we are the way we are?

Yet one of the most surprising findings of our research is that people who introspect are less self-

aware and report worse job satisfaction and well-being. Other research has shown similar patterns.

The problem with introspection isn’t that it is categorically ineffective — it’s that most people are

doing it incorrectly. To understand this, let’s look at arguably the most common introspective

question: “Why?” We ask this when trying to understand our emotions (Why do I like employee A so

much more than employee B?), or our behavior (Why did I fly off the handle with that employee?), or

our attitudes (Why am I so against this deal?).

As it turns out, “why” is a surprisingly ineffective self-awareness question. Research has shown that

we simply do not have access to many of the unconscious thoughts, feelings, and motives we’re

searching for. And because so much is trapped outside of our conscious awareness, we tend to

invent answers that feel true but are often wrong. For example, after an uncharacteristic outburst at

an employee, a new manager may jump to the conclusion that it happened because she isn’t cut out

for management, when the real reason was a bad case of low blood sugar.

Consequently, the problem with asking why isn’t just how wrong we are, but how confident we are

that we are right. The human mind rarely operates in a rational fashion, and our judgments are

seldom free from bias. We tend to pounce on whatever “insights” we find without questioning their

validity or value, we ignore contradictory evidence, and we force our thoughts to conform to our

initial explanations.

The problem with introspection isn’t that it is ineffective—it’s that most people are doing it incorrectly.

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Another negative consequence of asking why — especially when trying to explain an undesired

outcome — is that it invites unproductive negative thoughts. In our research, we’ve found that

people who are very introspective are also more likely to get caught in ruminative patterns. For

example, if an employee who receives a bad performance review asks Why did I get such a bad

rating?, they’re likely to land on an explanation focused on their fears, shortcomings, or insecurities,

rather than a rational assessment of their strengths and weaknesses. (For this reason, frequent self-

analyzers are more depressed and anxious and experience poorer well-being.)

So if why isn’t the right introspective question, is there a better one? My research team scoured

hundreds of pages of interview transcripts with highly self-aware people to see if they approached

introspection differently. Indeed, there was a clear pattern: Although the word “why”

appeared fewer than 150 times, the word “what” appeared more than 1,000 times.

Therefore, to increase productive self-insight and decrease unproductive rumination, we should ask

what, not why. “What” questions help us stay objective, future-focused, and empowered to act on

our new insights.

For example, consider Jose, an entertainment industry veteran we interviewed, who hated his job.

Where many would have gotten stuck thinking “Why do I feel so terrible?,” he asked, “What are the

situations that make me feel terrible, and what do they have in common?” He realized that he’d

never be happy in that career, and it gave him the courage to pursue a new and far more

fulfilling one in wealth management.

Similarly, Robin, a customer service leader who was new to her job, needed to understand a piece of

negative feedback she’d gotten from an employee. Instead of asking “Why did you say this about

me?,” Robin inquired, “What are the steps I need to take in the future to do a better job?” This helped

them move to solutions rather than focusing on the unproductive patterns of the past.

Self-awareness isn’t one truth. It’s a delicate balance of two distinct, even competing, viewpoints.

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A final case is Paul, who told us about learning that the business he’d recently purchased was no

longer profitable. At first, all he could ask himself was “Why wasn’t I able to turn things around?”

But he quickly realized that he didn’t have the time or energy to beat himself up — he had to figure

out what to do next. He started asking, “What do I need to do to move forward in a way that

minimizes the impact to our customers and employees?” He created a plan, and was able to find

creative ways to do as much good for others as possible while winding down the business. When all

that was over, he challenged himself to articulate what he learned from the experience — his

answer both helped him avoid similar mistakes in the future and helped others learn from them,

too.

These qualitative findings have been bolstered by others’ quantitative research. In one study,

psychologists J. Gregory Hixon and William Swann gave a group of undergraduates negative

feedback on a test of their “sociability, likability and interest ingness.” Some were given time to think

about why they were the kind of person they were, while others were asked to think about what kind

of person they were. When the researchers had them evaluate the accuracy of the feedback, the

“why” students spent their energy rationalizing and denying what they’d learned, and the “what”

students were more open to this new information and how they might learn from it. Hixon and

Swann’s rather bold conclusion was that “Thinking about why one is the way one is may be no better

than not thinking about one’s self at all.”

All of this brings us to conclude: Leaders who focus on building both internal and external self-

awareness, who seek honest feedback from loving critics, and who ask what instead of why can learn

to see themselves more clearly — and reap the many rewards that increased self-knowledge delivers.

And no matter how much progress we make, there’s always more to learn. That’s one of the things

that makes the journey to self-awareness so exciting.

Tasha Eurich, PhD, is an organizational psychologist, researcher, and New York Times bestselling author. She is the principal of The Eurich Group, a boutique executive development rm that helps companies—from start-ups to the Fortune

100—succeed by improving the effectiveness of their leaders and teams. Her newest book, Insight, delves into the

connection between self-awareness and success in the workplace.

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Related Topics: PSYCHOLOGY | EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

This article is about MANAGING YOURSELF

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kannan kannan a month ago

The path of spiritual realization is undoubtedly difcult. The Lord therefore advises us to approach a bona de

spiritual master in the line of disciplic succession from the Lord Himself. No one can be a bona de spiritual master

without following this principle of disciplic succession. The Lord is the original spiritual master, and a person in the

disciplic succession can convey the message of the Lord as it is to his disciple. No one can be spiritually realized by

manufacturing his own process, as is the fashion of the foolish pretenders. The Bhagavatam says: dharmam hi

saksad-bhagavat-pranitam—the path of religion is directly enunciated by the Lord. Therefore, mental speculation or

dry arguments cannot help one progress in spiritual life. One has to approach a bona de spiritual master to receive

the knowledge. Such a spiritual master should be accepted in full surrender, and one should serve the spiritual

master like a menial servant, without false prestige. Satisfaction of the self-realized spiritual master is the secret of

advancement in spiritual life. Inquiries and submission constitute the proper combination for spiritual

understanding. Unless there is submission and service, inquiries from the learned spiritual master will not be

effective. One must be able to pass the test of the spiritual master, and when he sees the genuine desire of the

disciple, he automatically blesses the disciple with genuine spiritual understanding. In this verse, both blind

following and absurd inquiries are condemned. One should not only hear submissively from the spiritual master; but

one must also get a clear understanding from him, in submission and service and inquiries. A bona de spiritual

master is by nature very kind toward the disciple. Therefore when the student is submissive and is always ready to

render service, the reciprocation of knowledge and inquiries becomes perfect

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