What Makes a Hero?

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Whatmakesahero-draft.pdf

Chen 1

What Makes a Hero?

Heroes are rare individuals who beat the odds to act against the expectations. In our daily

lives, we are likely to encounter acts of heroism once in a while. However, their actions are out

of this world, they put their lives at risk to ensure that they save innocent magnitude. For

instance, on September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks on the US soils provided a clear picture of

some of the heroes that live in our midst. These are the people that risked their lives to ensure

that they save others. Therefore, there are various versions of heroes that I have encountered over

the years, this paper provides an analysis of some of the heroes that I have encountered, read on

newspaper and even watched on television. These are ordinary individuals that made

extraordinary things take place.

For a long time, I had a wrong perception about the heroes of our time. I believed that for

one to be termed as a hero he/she must be engaged in some extraordinary heroics that are

unimaginable in this world. However, with the recent events taking place in society I have

learned that in our simple ways we can also be heroes in our society. For instance, the firemen

who risk their own lives to ensure that they put out fires and save property and lives are our ever

daily heroes. Some policemen have to run against the current to save the lives of people, bring

order and peace in a society that is polarized. These are normal people that put their lives at risk

and they have established themselves as lifesavers. However, my perceptions and attitudes have

also significantly changed to believe that the individuals who save the little they have and feed

the homeless, provide shelter and clothes for this kind of individual in society are the heroes of

our lifetime.

Ryan Brown
Ryan Brown
It's fine to discuss how your views have changed over time, but the topic sentence should express what they have changed to, not what they used to be. After that, you can discuss the past
Ryan Brown
This thesis seems too narrow to encompass your whole argument. What about these ordinary people allows them to do extraordinary things? What makes them heroes?
Ryan Brown
Comma splice. I would suggest ending the sentence here and starting the next with "This paper..."
Ryan Brown
saved*
Ryan Brown
who*
Ryan Brown
Ryan Brown
comma splice; you might consider a semicolon here
Ryan Brown
Whose expectations? If you want to make this more general, you could remove the article

Chen 2

In conclusion, I believe that heroes are selfless individuals that deny themselves what

they have to ensure that the less fortunate in society have what they lack in their daily lives.

Heroes have also been made especially in times of crisis. For instance, during the current

COVID-19 pandemic heroes have been born through individuals who have put their lives at risk

to save others. In this regard, doctors and nurses have risked their lives to ensure that they protect

and save lives while putting their lives at risk. Therefore, heroes are daily made and pandemics

are just a significant period in which such heroes can be seen in society, they try to come out

with a solution where most people have seen no way.

Chen 3

1. Thesis and Response to the Topic: What did your peer reviewers say about your thesis? Do

you need to narrow it, or make it clearer? Do you need to change your point of view? Write

your revised thesis here. (If you are not making any changes, write down your old thesis and

explain why you are not revising it.)

Peer reviewers did not give any feedback on my thesis. I am not revising my thesis because I

think it is clear to understand what I am going to talk about in the essay. There are various

versions of heroes that I have encountered over the years, this paper provides an analysis of some

of the heroes that I have encountered, read on newspaper and even watched on television. These

are ordinary individuals that made extraordinary things take place.

2. Organization and Paragraphing: What did your peer reviewers say about your organization?

Are the ideas presented in a logical sequence or do they jump around or confuse the reader? Do

you plan to change the organization in any way? Does the essay have effective transitions

between ideas/sentences/paragraphs? Underline all transitional words (first, next, also) or

phrases (on the other hand, in contrast to) in the essay.

I am not changing the organization of my essay.

3. Development and Support: What did your peer reviewers say? Was your essay long enough?

Did you have enough points and were they well supported? What could you add? Do you think

your details were superficial or detailed?

I think I have enough details in the paragraphs in order to support my thesis statement.

Chen 4

4. Sentence Structure, Grammar and Word Choice: Does your essay have any fragments or run-

on sentences that need to be corrected? Are your verb tenses consistent and accurate? Are there

better, more concise words that you could use to elevate your writing? Highlight (in yellow) two

words in your essay that you will try to find better substitutes for in your revision.

Peer reviewers did not give any feedback on my sentences, grammar and word choice.

5. Assessment: What are the three different scores you received by your peers? What did you

rate your essay and why do you think that number is appropriate for your essay?

Peer score #1: 12/16

Peer score #2: 15/16

Peer score #3: 0/16 (I think the peer reviewer forgot to score my essay)

Self-score: 15/16

Reason for self score:

I think my thesis statement is clear, paragraph is well organized and I provide examples to

support my thesis.

Chen 5