Group I. Session 11

We'll be talking soon about stages in your group- beginning, middle, end. When groups are in the ending stage, members often want to 'keep in touch' -requesting your email, phone, text, social media- they want to stay connected to you. How do you respond/react to this? Try to be specific and explain your reasoning.

Example:

My first response to group members wanting to “keep in touch” would be to give them my business card with my work contact information, saying, “you can always find me here, please reach out any time.” I can also truthfully tell them that I’m not on social media much. Hopefully, this would communicate that they are welcome to contact me, but only in my professional role. If they insisted on my personal phone number, I might have to be more direct and (pleasantly) say, “I don’t give that out, but like I said, I am reachable here any time.”

I like this simple plan because it makes me feel confident that I’m not in danger of crossing boundaries or hurting feelings. If I gave my number to one group member and not another, that could bring up feelings of anger or rejection in the second person. It could also undermine the integrity of my role as group leader, and negate any cohesion and trust established within the group.

After reading Shulman’s chapter on endings and transitions, it occurred to me that group members wanting to “keep in touch” is often an expression of denial about saying goodbye. With this in mind, it could be beneficial for me to reach for feelings. This might be appropriate if group member’s wanting to “keep in touch” seems to express an emotion that is incongruent with the situation, for example if they seem overly casual and dismissive about the group’s ending. I could respond to them by stating what people often feel in that situation, such as, “it can be hard to say goodbye.” They would then have an opportunity to engage in that statement and reflect on the feelings coming up for them.