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CHAPTER OUTLINE

Characteristics of Intercultural Conflict

Ambiguity Language Issues Contradictory Conflict Styles Conflict Types and Contexts Types of Conflict The Importance of Context Influences on Conflict Management Cultural Values Influences Family Influences Two Approaches to Conflict Intercultural Conflict Styles Gender, Ethnicity, and Conflict Religion and Conflict Managing Intercultural Conflict Productive versus Destructive Conflict Competitive versus Cooperative

Conflict Understanding Conflict and Society Social and Economic Forces Historical and Political Forces Societal Responses to Conflict Peacebuilding Forgiveness Summary

Building Intercultural Skills

Activity

Endnotes

STUDY OBJECTIVES

After reading this chapter, you should be able to: 1. Identify and describe the

characteristics of intercultural conflict.

2. Define interpersonal conflict and its characteristics.

3. Identify five different types of conflict.

4. List the basic principles of nonviolence.

5. Suggest some ways in which cultures differ in their views toward conflict.

6. Understand how people come by their conflict strategies.

7. Identify and describe four styles for dealing with intercultural conflict.

8. Discuss the relationship between ethnicity, gender, and conflict communication.

9. Define social movements. 10. Explain why it is important

to understand the role of the social and historical contexts in intercultural conflicts.

11. Discuss some suggestions for dealing with intercultural conflicts.

KEY TERMS

accommodating style anti-Americanism conflict direct approach discussion style dynamic style emotionally expressive style engagement style facework facilitated intergroup dialogue incompatibility indirect approach intercultural conflict interdependent intermediary international conflict interpersonal conflict mediation pacifism peacebuilding political conflict religious conflict restraint style social conflict social movements

8 CHAPTER EIGHT

Culture, Communication, and Conflict

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One thing we can be sure of is that conflict is unavoidable. Conflicts are hap-pening all around the world, as they always have, and at many different levels. For example, conflicts can happen on the interpersonal level, called interpersonal conflict, which was the case for our student Joy, who described a recent conflict with her boyfriend. Joy is from a midwestern, third-generation Scotch-Irish family. Her boyfriend’s family is first-generation Filipino/a. Cultural differences between the groups often cause conflict and misunderstanding. The most recent conflict occurred when Joy’s family discovered that her step-grandmother was very sick with cancer. Joy described her boyfriend’s reaction when she told him this news on the telephone:

He really said nothing. His first reaction was “Oh,” and then he went on with whatever he was doing at the time. I was shocked. I couldn’t believe that he had been so insensitive to me and my family. I was furious, but he saw nothing wrong in what he had done. . . . We managed the conflict by arguing and talking . . . [and then] discussed what we were both angry about . . . and then agreed to try to be more aware of the differences we both have in regards to certain situations and to meet each other halfway, not just blame each other.

Interpersonal conflicts can also be intergenerational. You may disagree with your parents about where to attend college, or what you spend your money on, or where to live in the summer. These conflicts can have varying outcomes. Intergenerational conflicts can occur in the workplace. For example, experts say that baby boomers and Generation Y in particular have characteristics and different sets of work-life values that can clash. While boomers tend to be work-obsessed, millennials are demanding flexible schedules that allow them to pursue an active life away from the office. Boomers tend to like autonomy, while millennials want more direction and enjoy collaboration.1 These conflicts can make the workplace uncomfortable and challenging. Intergenerational conflicts can have more serious outcomes. Kenji, a Japanese American student from Alabama, had conflicts with her dad—with more serious consequences. When he found out she was gay, he threw her out of the house and still refuses to see her.2

Conflicts can also happen on a societal level, known as political conflict. For example, various groups in the United States engage in conflict based on deeply held value differences; some feel that health care is a right that should be provided to everyone for the good of the society in general, and others feel that it is an individual privilege that each person is responsible to obtain. There are also strong feelings that lead to societal conflict around immigration issues. Some U.S. Americans believe that children of undocumented immigrants should not have access to educational opportunities (e.g., scholarships, internships) that are typically reserved for U.S. citizens—that doing so only rewards the illegal actions of their parents. Others believe that these children and young people should not be denied opportunities because of the actions of their parents.

What Do You Think? What types of conflict do you find to be the most difficult to negotiate? Do you approach conflicts with your partner, your coworkers, friends, and parents in different ways? Are there patterns in the ways you deal with conflict? If conflicts are inevitable, why do we sometimes avoid them with certain people in our lives?

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An example of international conflict has been seen tensions between the United States, Russia, and their allies being played out in the proxy war in Syria. While the war in Syria began as a civilian protest against the repressive Assad government in 2011, it quickly escalated into a proxy war with international, competing inter- ests fighting their battles in Syria. The Assad regime retaliated against civilians, with material and military support from Iran and another long-time powerful ally, Russia—which has interest in weakening the anti-government Islamist groups whom it has fought on its own soil in Chechnya. On its part, the United States, along with Saudi Arabia and Turkey, resolved to prevent Russia, a long-time adversary, from determining the fate of this important region. Another nuance is that Turkey is con- flicted in its support because the United States is using Kurdish fighters—a group Turkey has viewed as terrorists for many years. As discussed earlier, the human consequences of this complicated conflict have been devastating, with hundreds of thousands of lives lost and millions displaced.3

Conflicts in one country can spill over into another, as we have discussed—the thousands of refugees from Syria (and Iraq and Afghanistan) fleeing to nearby and even distant countries, often encountering violence and conflict in their new country. These conflicts have even reached the United States, as individuals supporting the various Middle East factions have attacked civilians here, at the Boston Marathon in 2013, at a social agency holiday party in San Bernardino in 2015, and at a gay nightclub in Orlando, Florida in 2016.

As you can see from these examples, conflict is not simply a matter of disagree- ment. Conflict among cultural groups can escalate into tragedies that stretch across generations and continents. Russia and the United States, Afghanistan and Pakistan, Iran and Saudi Arabia, all have complicated historical relationships. Conflicts are

Some conflicts are managed by mediators, who help disputants resolve their differences. Mediators may be used informally, as in auto accidents, or more formally, as when lawyers are consulted in divorce or real estate disputes.

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often complicated and layered. One conflict may have interpersonal, political, and international dimensions, dramatically seen, for example, in clashes between migrants and residents in many European locales in 2015. How can people overcome conflict and put it behind them? How can families and individuals restore relationships after hurtful interpersonal conflict? There are no easy answers to these questions, but we must consider them as part of our understanding of intercultural conflict.

In this chapter, we identify characteristics of intercultural conflict, as well as dif- ferent types of conflict and conflict styles. We also examine how cultural background can influence conflict management and discuss guidelines for engaging in intercul- tural conflict. Finally, we look at societal forces that influence intercultural conflict.

As you think about intercultural conflict, consider the role of communication in these situations. While communication differences can sometimes be the cause of intercultural conflict, particularly in interpersonal situations, communication is often not the clear cause of conflicts on international or societal levels. International conflicts can be ignited by struggles over resources, such as oil, food, or water. Yet, communication can often play important roles in how the conflict is played out. Communication can exacerbate the conflicts or help reduce the conflicts.

For example, social media can exacerbate conflict at all levels, from nasty tweets to sophisticated ISIS recruitment, in which citizens in any country can be radicalized through the Internet. For example, Yemeni American al Qaeda leader Anwar al-Awlaki has been described as the “bin Laden of the Internet” with a blog, a Facebook page, the al-Qaeda magazine Inspire, and many YouTube videos. Even though he was killed in 2011, his lectures, sermons, and other video messages are still easily found and have been noted as influencing a number of terrorist attackers in the United States including Dzhokhar and Tamerlan Tsarnaev of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing and two of the Paris Charlie Hebdo attackers.4 On the other hand, some experts suggest that online communication can help resolve conflict (see “Info Bites” on this page).

CHARACTERISTICS OF INTERCULTURAL CONFLICT

Conflict is usually defined as involving a perceived or real incompatibility of goals, values, expectations, processes, or outcomes between two or more interdependent individuals or groups.5 A good example of intercultural conflict can be seen in the maquiladoras—sorting or assembly plants along the Mexican–U.S. border. Because Mexicans and U.S. Americans work alongside one another, intercultural conflict inevitably occurs.6 For example, some Mexican managers think that the U.S. American managers are rude in their dealings with each other and with the workers. While both Mexican and U.S. American managers have common goals, they also have some differ- ent expectations and values, which leads to conflict. The Mexican managers expect the U.S. American managers to be more polite and to value harmony in their relationships. The U.S. American managers expect the Mexicans to be more direct and honest and to not worry so much about the “face” and feelings of other managers and workers. These conflicts have roots in the history of U.S.–Mexican relations, a history characterized by

Info Bites Communication expert Yair Amichai- Hamburger thinks that the Internet can play a useful role in de-escalating or resolving intercultural conflict for discordant groups. First, Internet contact is cheaper and easier to organize. Second, the Internet is a great status leveler. If the online contact does not involve visual cues, it’s impossible to know whether the other is wearing a Rolex watch or is 20 years younger than you and/or much better looking! Third, Internet contact can mean less anxiety— often a factor in conflict situations, allowing people to meet from a place where they feel comfortable, possibly from their own living room. (SOURCES: Amichai- Hamburger, Y. How we can use the Internet to resolve intergroup conflict. June 6, 2013, psychologytoday.com. Retrieved from https:// www.psychologytoday .com/blog/the-social -net/201306/how-we -can-use-the-internet -resolve-intergroup -conflict.)

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economic and military domination on the part of the United States and by hostility and resentment on the part of Mexico.

What are characteristics of intercultural conflict? How does intercultural conflict differ from other kinds of conflict? One unique characteristic is that intercultural conflicts tend to be more ambiguous than intracultural conflict. Other characteristics involve language issues and contradictory conflict styles.

Ambiguity

There is often some ambiguity in intercultural conflicts. We may be unsure of how to handle the conflict or of whether the conflict is seen in the same way by the other per- son. And the other person may not even think there is a conflict. In Joy’s case presented at the beginning of the chapter, she and her boyfriend both admitted the conflict; that was the first step in resolving it.

However, often when we encounter ambiguity, we quickly resort to our default style of handling conflict—the style we learned in our family. If your preferred way of handling conflict is to deal with it immediately but you are in a conflict with someone who prefers to avoid it, the conflict may become exacerbated as you both retreat to your preferred styles. Thus, the confronting person becomes increasingly confrontational, while the avoider retreats further.

Language Issues

The issues surrounding language may be important ones. Language can sometimes lead to intercultural conflict, and it can also be the primary vehicle for solving intercultural conflict. This was true for Jodi, a student of ours, who described a recent conflict she had with some fellow workers:

I work in a restaurant where the kitchen employees are mostly of Mexican descent. Some of the men would make inappropriate comments in Spanish. I chose to ignore it, but my method of resolving the conflict was not beneficial. It just resulted in my feeling uncomfortable. Finally, I decided to take the initiative. I used my Spanish speaking skills to let the employees know I could understand them—somewhat. Then I decided to make an effort to greet them whenever I came into contact with them. I found that they are much more friendly. This was the best approach to take, and it yielded good results. However, when you don’t know the language well, it is very difficult to handle

conflict effectively. At the same time, some silence is not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes it provides a “cooling off” period during which the participants can calm down and gather their thoughts. This was our student Dotty’s experience with her host family in France. Initially, she was experiencing culture shock and was not getting along with her host “brother.” So she told her host family to go out without her because she wasn’t feeling well. She recalls: “I spent the afternoon and evening walking along the beach and exploring the forest. This allowed relations to continue, but it gave time to work things out. I felt good about the time out. It all turned out well, but it required some time and patience.”

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Contradictory Conflict Styles

Intercultural conflict also may be characterized by contradictory conflict styles. In the maquiladoras, the biggest difference between U.S. Americans and Mexicans seems to be in the way U.S. Americans express disagreement at management meetings. The Mexican managers tend to be more indirect and more polite in conflict situations, whereas the U.S. American managers prefer to confront conflict directly and openly. These very different styles in handling conflict cause problems in the workplace and sometimes lead to more conflict.

CONFLICT TYPES AND CONTEXTS

Perhaps if everyone agreed on the best way to view conflict, there would be less of it. The reality is that different approaches to conflict may result in more conflict. In this sec- tion, we identify five different types of conflict and some strategies for resolving them.

Types of Conflict

Common categories of conflict include affective conflict, conflict of interest, value con- flict, cognitive conflict, and goal conflict.7 Affective conflict occurs when individuals become aware that their feelings and emotions are incompatible. For example, suppose someone finds out that his or her romantic feelings for a close friend are not recipro- cated. Their different levels of affection may lead to conflict.

A conflict of interest describes a situation in which people have incompatible preferences for a course of action or plan to pursue. For example, one student of ours

Surf’s Up! Consider the implications that stereotypes about women drivers, the elderly, Arab Americans, and Asian Americans might have for conflicts occurring while driving. Go to the website http:// roadragers.com/ and take a survey to analyze your driving style.

Nonviolent con- frontation provides an opportunity for social change. People who protest peacefully can high- light injustices and lend credibility to social movements.

© AP Photo/Max Becherer

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described an ongoing conflict with an ex-girlfriend: “The conflicts always seem to be a jealousy issue or a controlling issue, where even though we are not going out anymore, both of us still try to control the other’s life to some degree. You could probably say that this is a conflict of interest.”

Value conflict, a more serious type, occurs when people have differing ide- ologies. For example, suppose that Ruben and Laura have been married for several months and are starting to argue frequently about their views on when to start their family and how to raise their children. Laura believes strongly that one parent should stay at home with the children when they are small, so she would like to wait until they have saved enough money and she can stop working for a few years. Ruben wants to have children immediately but does not want Laura to stop working; he thinks their children will do fine in day care. This situation illustrates value conflict.

Cognitive conflict describes a situation in which two or more people become aware that their thought processes or perceptions are in conflict. For example, sup- pose that Marissa and Derek argue frequently about whether Marissa’s friend Bob is paying too much attention to her. Derek suspects that Bob wants to have sex with Marissa, but Marissa doesn’t agree. Their different perceptions of the situation con- stitute cognitive conflict.

Goal conflict occurs when people disagree about a preferred outcome or end state. For instance, consider the decision that Rodrigo and Jason had to make when Rodrigo was offered an upper management position in a state over 1,500 miles away from their home. Moving meant that Jason had to give up his job and move away from his family, but it also meant that Rodrigo would have the position he wanted and they would be living in the city they had always hoped for.

The Importance of Context

How we choose to manage conflict may depend on the particular context or situation. For example, we may choose to use discussion style when arguing with a close friend about serious relational issues in a quiet movie theater. By contrast, we may feel freer to use a more confrontational style at a political rally.

Nikki, a student with a part-time job at a restaurant, described an experience she had in serving a large group of German tourists. The tourists argued with her about the bill, claiming that they had been overcharged. Nikki explained that a 15 percent service charge had been added. The Germans thought that she had added the tip because they were tourists; they hadn’t realized it was the policy when serving large groups. Nikki explained that she was much more concilia- tory when dealing with this group in the restaurant than she would have been in a more social context. She thought the Germans were rude, but she practiced good listening skills and took a more problem-solving approach than she would have otherwise.

One of our students, Courtney, recounted a conflict she had when one of her friends made the college football team. She told him he had “natural talent,” and he thought she was being racist because he was Black. Even though Courtney didn’t mean to be racist, we can only understand the conflict within the historical context

Info Bites Active listening is a three-step process suggested by interpersonal communication scholars to help reduce conflict. It includes paraphrasing the other person’s ideas, expressing understanding of them, and then asking questions about them. From an intercultural perspective, why would this process be helpful?

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of White–Black relations in the United States; as he told her, he gets these kinds of comments a lot. Thus, the conflict context can be viewed in two ways: (1) in terms of the actual situation in which the conflict happens and (2) as a larger societal context. We’ll discuss the larger societal context of conflict later in the chapter.

INFLUENCES ON CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

A key question is this: Is open conflict good or bad? That is, should conflict be wel- comed because it provides opportunities to strengthen relationships? Or should it be avoided because it can only lead to problems for relationships and groups? Another key question is this: What is the best way to handle conflict when it arises? Should individu- als talk about it directly, deal with it indirectly, or avoid it? Should emotions be part of the conflict resolution? Are expressions of emotions viewed as showing commitment to resolving the conflict at hand? Or is it better to be restrained and solve problems by rational logic rather than emotional expressiveness? Also consider the following questions: How do we learn how to deal with conflict? Who teaches us how to solve conflicts when they arise? How we answer all of these questions depends in large part on our cultural background and the way we were raised.

Cultural Values Influences

How do cultural values influence conflict management? One way to answer this ques- tion is to look at cultural variations in facework. Facework refers to specific commu- nication strategies we use to “save” our own or another person’s face and is a universal concept; how we “do” facework varies from culture to culture and influences conflict styles. For example, people from individualistic societies tend to be more concerned with saving their own face than another person’s, so they tend to use more direct con- flict management styles. In contrast, people from collectivistic societies tend to be more concerned with preserving group harmony and with saving the other person’s face (and dignity) during conflict. They may use a less direct conversational style; protecting the other person’s face and making him or her look good is considered a skillful facework style. We will revisit this concept later in Chapter 11 to explore how differences in facework affect intercultural business communication. But now, let’s look more closely at other influences on conflict management.

Family Influences

The ways in which people respond to conflict may be influenced by their cultural background. More specifically, most people deal with conflict in the way they learned while growing up—their default style. Conflict resolution strategies usually relate to how people manage their self-image in relationships. For example, they may prefer to preserve their own self-esteem rather than help the other person “save face.” Or they may prefer to sacrifice their own self-esteem in order to preserve the relationship.

We tend to prefer a particular conflict style in our interactions for many reasons. A primary influence is our family background; some families prefer a particular

What Do You Think? People often don’t see a conflict situation in the same way. Consider the 2016 Orlando nightclub massacre:

Some saw it as a hate crime—caused by the gunman’s anti- gay prejudice. Or as a clash of cultures and religions—U.S. (Christianity) and Islam—rejecting the anti-gay element. Others saw it as an attack on freedom of all individuals. Still others saw it as the actions of a deranged individual. The proposed solutions to the conflict—more gun control, more protection/rights for gay Americans, stricter immigration policies— depended on one’s view of the cause. What do you think? Do we need agreement on the causes of intercultural conflict? Is it possible to resolve intercultural conflict without this agreement? (SOURCE: Healey, P. After Massacre at Orlando Gay Club, an Array of Opinion about Motive

(continued)

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conflict style, and children come to accept this style as normal. For example, the family may have settled conflict in a direct, confrontational manner, with the person having the strongest argument (or the biggest muscle) getting his or her way.

Sometimes people try very hard to reject the conflict styles they saw their parents using. For example, suppose that Maria’s parents avoided open conflict and never discussed what was bothering them. Their children learned to avoid conflict and become very uncomfortable when people around them use a more expressive style of conflict management. Maria has vowed she will never deal with conflict that way with her own children and has tried very hard to use other ways of dealing with conflicts when they do arise in her family. It is important to realize that people deal with conflict in a variety of ways and may not have the same reasons for choosing a certain style.

Family conflict can also arise from generational differences in immigrant families that reflect intercultural differences. In Europe, the focus is sometimes on “Muslim girls who are harassed or punished for being too Western. Latifa Ahmed, 25, arrived in the Netherlands from Morocco when she was 8. As she grew up near Amsterdam, her family turned against her because she preferred to be with her Dutch classmates.

“They were bad, they were infidels, I was told,” she said. “My parents and my brothers started hitting me.” Latifa, who lived at home until she was 23, said, “I was going crazy from all the fights and the lies, but I was afraid to run away and lose my family.”8

Other immigrant families may have conflicts over arranged marriages, dating, and other cultural expectations that may highlight differences between the country of origin and the new homeland.

Two Approaches to Conflict

There are at least two primary ways that you can approach conflict. You can be either direct or indirect, and you can be either emotionally expressive or restrained.9 The way you approach conflict probably depends on your cultural background and the way you were raised. Let’s look at each of these two dimensions more closely.

Direct and Indirect Conflict Approaches This direct/indirect approach to con- flict is similar to the direct/indirect language dimension we discussed in Chapter 5. There it was applied specifically to language use, whereas here it represents a broader conflict resolution approach. Some cultural groups think that conflict is fundamen- tally a good thing; these groups feel that it is best to approach conflict very directly, because working through conflicts constructively results in stronger, healthier, and more satisfying relationships. Similarly, groups that work through conflict can gain new information about members or about other groups, defuse more serious conflict, and increase group cohesiveness.10

People who take this approach concentrate on using very precise language. While they may not always feel comfortable with face-to-face conflict, they think that it’s important to “say what’s on your mind” in a conflict situation. The goal in

and Meaning. June 16, 2013. Retrieved from http://www.nytimes.com /2016/06/14/us/politics /shooting-reaction. html?_r=0.)

What Do You Think? (cont.)

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this approach is to articulate the issues carefully and select the “best” solution based on an agreed-upon set of criteria.

However, many cultural groups view conflict as ultimately destructive for relationships. For example, many Asian cultures, reflecting the influence of Confucianism and Taoism, and some religious groups in the United States see conflict as disturbing the peace. For instance, most Amish think of conflict not as an opportunity for personal growth, but as a threat to interpersonal and community harmony. When conflict does arise, the strong spiritual value of pacifism dictates a nonresistant response—often avoidance or dealing with conflict very indirectly.11 We will talk more about nonviolent responses to conflict later in the chapter.

Also, these groups think that when members disagree they should adhere to the consensus of the group rather than engage in conflict. In fact, members who threaten group harmony may be sanctioned. One writer gives an example of a man from the Maori culture in New Zealand who was swearing and using inappropriate language in a public meeting:

A woman went up to him, laying her hand on his arm and speaking softly. He shook her off and continued. The crowd now moved back from him as far as pos- sible, and as if by general agreement, the listeners dropped their gaze to their toes until all he could see was the tops of their heads. The speaker slowed, faltered, was reduced to silence, and then sat down.12

These people tend to approach conflict rather indirectly. They concentrate on the meaning that is “outside” the verbal message and tend to be very careful to protect the “face” of the person with whom they disagree. They may emphasize vagueness and ambiguity in language and often rely on third parties to help resolve disagreements. The goal in this approach is to make sure that the relationship stays intact during the disagreement. For example, they may emphasize the past history of the disputants and try to build a deeper relationship that involves increased obliga- tion toward each other.

Emotional Expressiveness/Restraint Conflict Style A second broad approach to conflict concerns the role of emotion in conflict. People who value intense and overt displays of emotions during discussion of disagreement rely on the emotionally expressive style. They think it is better to show emotion during disagreement than to hide or suppress feelings; that is, they show emotion through expressive nonverbal behavior and vocalization. They also think that this outward display of emotions means that one really cares and is committed to resolving the conflict. In fact, one’s credibility is based on the ability to be expressive.

On the other hand, people who believe in the restraint style think that dis- agreements are best discussed in an emotionally calm manner. For these people, it’s important to control and internalize one’s feelings during conflict and to avoid nonverbal emotion. They are uncomfortable with emotional expression and think that such expressions may hurt others. People who use this approach think that rela- tionships are made stronger by keeping one’s emotions in check and protecting the

Pop Culture Spotlight Babel (2006) is a movie that shows an interlocking story involving four different families, all converging at the end to reveal a complex and tragic story. In Morocco, an American couple is on vacation trying to work out their differences; meanwhile, a Moroccan herder buys a rifle for his sons so they can keep the jackals away, and a deaf/mute girl in Japan is dealing with the death of her mother and the emotional distance from her father. The American couple’s Mexican nanny takes their children to her son’s wedding in Mexico.

This film shows how all these families and individuals are interconnected: although all are too far apart to imagine each other, their lives collide in rather tragic ways. It shovws the modern world, and the propensity for conflict among people separated by cultural, religious, and political differences. (SOURCE: http://www .imdb.com/title /tt0449467/)

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“face” or honor of the other person. Credibility is demonstrated by maintaining tight control over one’s emotions.

These two approaches to conflict resolution reflect different underlying cultural values involving identity and preserving self-esteem. In the more individualistic approach that sees conflict as good, the concern is with individuals preserving their own dignity. The more communal approach espoused by both Amish and Asian cultures and by many other collectivist groups is more concerned with maintain- ing harmony in interpersonal relations and preserving the dignity of others. For example, in classic Chinese thought, social harmony is the goal of human society at all levels—individual, family, village, and nation.13

Intercultural Conflict Styles

It is possible to combine the four dimensions discussed and come up with four different conflict resolution styles that seem to be connected to various cultural groups: the dis- cussion style, the engagement style, the accommodating style, and the dynamic style.14 For information about discovering your own particular conflict style preferences, see “Surf’s Up” on this page.

The discussion style combines the direct and emotionally restrained dimensions and emphasizes a verbally direct approach for dealing with disagreements—to “say what you mean and mean what you say.” People who use this style are comfortable expressing disagreements directly but prefer to be emotionally restrained. This style is often identified as the predominant style preferred by many White Americans, as well as Europeans, Australians, and New Zealanders. This approach is expressed by the Irish saying, “What is nearest the heart is nearest the mouth.”

The engagement style emphasizes a verbally direct and confrontational approach to dealing with conflict. This style views intense verbal and nonver- bal expression of emotion as demonstrating sincerity and willingness to engage intensely to resolve conflict. It has been linked to some African Americans and Southern Europeans (France, Greece, Italy, Spain), as well as to some people from Russia and the Middle East (Israel). This approach is captured in the Russian prov- erb, “After a storm, fair weather; after sorrow, joy.”

The accommodating style emphasizes an indirect approach for dealing with conflict and a more emotionally restrained manner. People who use this style may be ambiguous and indirect in expressing their views, thinking that this is a way to ensure that the conflict “doesn’t get out of control.” This style is often preferred by American Indians, Latin Americans (Mexicans, Costa Ricans), and Asians. This style may best be expressed by the Swahili proverb, “Silence produces peace, and peace produces safety,” or by the Chinese proverb, “The first to raise their voice loses the argument.”

In this style, silence and avoidance may be used to manage conflict. For exam- ple, the Amish would prefer to lose face or money rather than escalate a conflict, and Amish children are instructed to turn the other cheek in any conflict situation, even if it means getting beat up by the neighborhood bully.

Individuals from these groups also use an intermediary—a friend or colleague who acts on their behalf in dealing with conflict.15 For example, a Taiwanese student

Surf’s Up! Do you know the style of conflict negotiation that best describes you? Access www. personalitytest.net/ and find out more about how personality type and conflict negotiation coincide. (SOURCE: Personality Test Center © 2000–2005)

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at a U.S. university was offended by the People’s Republic of China flag that her roommate displayed in their room. The Taiwanese student went to the international student advisor and asked him to talk to the U.S. American student about the flag. People who think that interpersonal conflict provides opportunities to strengthen rela- tionships also use mediation, but mainly in formal settings. For instance, people retain lawyers to mediate disputes, hire real estate agents to negotiate commercial transac- tions, and engage counselors or therapists to resolve or manage interpersonal conflicts.

What are the basic principles of nonviolence applied to interpersonal relations? In fact, nonviolence is not the absence of conflict, and it is not a simple refusal to fight. Rather, it involves peacemaking—a difficult, and sometimes very risky, approach to interpersonal relationships. Individuals who take the peacemaking approach (1) strongly value the other person and encourage his or her growth, (2) attempt to de-escalate conflicts or keep them from escalating once they start, and (3) attempt to find creative negotiation to resolve conflicts when they arise.16

It is often difficult for people who are taught to use the discussion or engaging style to see the value in the accommodating style or in nonviolent approaches. They see indirectness and avoidance as a sign of weakness. However, millions of people view conflict as primarily “dysfunctional, interpersonally embarrassing, distress- ing and as a forum for potential humiliation and loss of face.”17 With this view of conflict, it makes much more sense to avoid direct confrontation and work toward saving face for the other person.

The dynamic style uses an indirect style of communicating along with a more emotionally intense expressiveness. People who use this style may use strong lan- guage, stories, metaphors, and use of third-party intermediaries. They are comfort- able with more emotionally confrontational talk and view credibility of the other person grounded in their degree of emotional expressiveness. This style may be preferred by Arabs in the Middle East.

Cautions about Stereotyping As with any generalization, however, it must be remembered that all conflict resolution styles can be found in any one cultural group, and while cultural groups tend to prefer one style over another, we must be careful not to stereotype. Also, these cultural differences may depend on a number of fac- tors, including (1) whether regions have been historically homogeneous and isolated from other cultures, (2) the influence of colonization, and (3) the immigration his- tory of different cultural groups. For example, there is much more African influence in the Caribbean (compared to Central and Latin America), resulting in a more direct and emotionally expressive approach (engagement style) than in Mexico—which has maintained a more indirect and emotionally restrained approach (accommodation style). And there is a great variety of cultures within the African continent, account- ing for tremendous variation in conflict resolution styles.

It is also important to recognize that people deal with conflict in a variety of ways for a variety of reasons. We should not think of preferred styles as static and set in stone. For example, people may use a discussion style at work and accommodat- ing style at home, or they may use an accommodating style at work and engagement style at home.

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And they may use different styles with different partners. Kaori, a Japanese student, told us about a conflict she had with her U.S. American friend, Mara, when the two were working together on a sorority project. Mara seemed to take a very competitive, individualistic approach to the project, saying things like, “I did this on the project,” or referring to it as “my project.” Kaori became increasingly irritated and less motivated to work on the project. She finally said to Mara, “Is this your project or our project?” Mara seemed surprised, tried to defend herself, and eventually apologized; the two women continued to work on the project and put the conflict behind them. This illustrates that not all Japanese use indirect or accommodating styles in all conflict encounters. Young Japanese especially may use an engagement style in encounters with friends.18

In addition, our styles often change over the course of a conflict and over the life span. For example, individuals who tend to avoid and accommodate may learn the benefits of engaging and working through conflicts.

Gender, Ethnicity, and Conflict

Our gender and ethnicity may influence how we handle conflict. Some research shows that men and women do tend to behave in stereotypical ways in some contexts—men use a more engagement conflict style, whereas women use a more accommodating style.19 This may reflect the fact that in many cultures, women are socialized to focus on relationships and to be more accommodating and indirect in their interaction, while men are socialized to be more competitive.

Ethnicity may also influence conflict style. At least one study showed that Asian and Latino Americans tended to use accommodating and third-party conflict styles more than African Americans, and Asian Americans also tended to use more accom- modating conflict tactics than European Americans.20

In their study of African American and European American women’s views on workplace conflict, communication scholars Lynn Turner and Robert Shuter found that African American women viewed workplace conflict more negatively, more passively, and with less optimism about a positive resolution than European American women.21

In any case, it is important to remember that, while ethnicity and gender may be related to ways of dealing with conflict, it is inappropriate and inaccurate to assume that any one person will behave in a particular way because of his or her ethnicity or gender.

Religion and Conflict

Religious differences also can be an important source of conflict. Religious beliefs are often a source of very strongly held views that can cause religious conflict with others who may not share those views. For example, in 2015 an evangelical Christian baker in Colorado argued that he should not have to provide services to same-sex couples (e.g., bake a wedding cake); however, the court rejected this argument, saying that religious beliefs cannot be used as an excuse to discriminate.22 More recently, a preacher in the Verity Sacramento Baptist church praised the attack on an Orlando nightclub that left

What Do You Think? The recent discovery that former CIA technical assistant Edward Snowden made public massive amounts of sensitive information including classified U.S. surveillance programs has fueled a lot of public discussion about what is considered public and private information. Snowden handed over the documents to The Guardian, a British newspaper, which then published some of the information. This situation has also fueled a discussion about what is protected speech in times of domestic and international crisis. What sorts of information should be protected? When, if at all, does the state have the right to be listening?

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49 people dead in June 2016. He reportedly said in a sermon that he thought Orlando, Florida was a little safer now because of the deaths of 49 “pedophiles.” Some felt that these types of remarks promote prejudice and even violence against members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) community.23 In these cases, religious differences are the source of the conflict. While not all people read the Bible in the same way, these religious differences can influence how people view their civic responsibili- ties and how to appropriately respond.

A little farther west, in Utah, conflicts between Mormons and non-Mormons are not uncommon. The Salt Lake Tribune noted that “It is nothing new for protesters to loiter near the LDS Conference Center and Salt Lake Temple.” Protests and conflicts with Mormons surfaced during the 2012 presidential campaign of Mitt Romney, a devout Mormon. Some Protestants declare Mormon religion as not truly Christian. Other conflicts center on the anti-gay stance of the Mormon church and its financial support that helped pass the 2008 Proposition 8 in California that banned gay mar- riages.24 Within a historical context, the anti-Mormon views of Latter-day Saints (LDS) by other Christian groups are nothing new. Pressured to leave New York, Ohio, Missouri, and later Illinois before settling in Utah, Mormon history points to many anti-Mormon incidents, including the murder of the founder, Joseph Smith, in Illinois. The semiannual LDS General Conference in Salt Lake City continues to draw protesters, including “a small coterie of self-described Christian preachers.” Some of their protests included displaying “in disrespectful and vulgar ways, some of the intimate, sacred temple garments worn by LDS women.” This kind of conflict may provoke the LDS members into responding, which may escalate the conflict.25

MANAGING INTERCULTURAL CONFLICT

Productive versus Destructive Conflict

Given all the variations in how people deal with conflicts, what happens when there is conflict in intercultural relationships? One option involves distinguishing between productive and destructive conflict in at least four ways.26 First, in productive conflict, individuals or groups try to identify the specific problem; in destructive conflict, they make sweeping generalizations and have negative attitudes. For example, in an argu- ment, one shouldn’t say, “You never do the dishes,” or “You always put me down in front of my friends.” Rather, one should state the specific example of being put down: “Last evening when you criticized me in front of our friends, I felt bad.”

Second, in productive conflict, individuals or groups focus on the original issue; in destructive conflict, they escalate the conflict from the original issues and anything in the relationship is open for reexamination. For example, guests on talk shows discussing extramarital affairs might start by citing a specific affair and then expand the conflict to include any number of prior arguments. The more productive approach would be to talk only about the specific affair.

Third, in productive conflict, individuals or groups direct the discussion toward cooperative problem solving (“How can we work this out?”); in destructive conflict, they try to seize power and use threats, coercion, and deception (“Either you do what I want, or . . .”).

What Do You Think? Writing in 2001 about contemporary global wars, Arundhati Roy expresses: “People rarely win wars; governments rarely lose them. People get killed. Governments molt and regroup, hydra-headed” (p. 126). Is this true? Can you think of contemporary conflicts where her statement holds true? (SOURCE: Roy, A. (2001). Power politics. Cambridge, MA: South End Press.)

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Finally, in productive conflict, individuals or groups value leadership that stresses mutually satisfactory outcomes; in destructive conflict, they polarize behind single-minded and militant leadership. In many political conflicts, such as those in the Middle East, people seem to have fallen into this trap, with leaders unwilling to work toward mutually satisfactory outcomes.

Competitive versus Cooperative Conflict

As you can see, the general theme in destructive conflict is competitive escalation. Conflict often spirals into long-term negativity, with the conflicting parties establish- ing a self-perpetuating, mutually confirming expectation. As one writer notes, “Each is treating the other badly because it feels that the other deserves to be treated badly because the other treats it badly and so on.”27

How can individuals and groups promote cooperative communication in con- flict situations? According to Morton Deutsch, the general tone of a relationship will promote certain processes and acts.28 For example, a competitive atmosphere will promote coercion, deception, suspicion, rigidity, and poor communication; a cooperative atmosphere will promote perceived similarity, trust, flexibility, and open communication. The key here is that this atmosphere needs to be established in the beginning stages of the relationship or group interaction. It is much more difficult to turn a competitive relationship into a cooperative one once the conflict has started to escalate. Our colleague Moira remembered a potential conflict during her first week at a new job and how she tried a cooperative approach:

The “Truth and Reconciliation” hearings in South Africa were founded on a notion of forgiving—but not forgetting. The hearings provided a forum for South Africans to recount and admit to the injustices and vio- lence of apartheid and move toward national healing.

© AP Photo/Mike Hutchings

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One of the staff members, Florence, seemed very cool to me. All the other staff members welcomed me to the organization; Florence never said a word. Then we had a misunderstanding about a project we were working on together, and it looked as if things could escalate into a big conflict. I decided that I really didn’t want to get off on the wrong foot with her. So I took a deep breath, took a step back, and tried to get things off on a better foot. She had remarked that she was worried about her son, who was having problems in school. We talked and found out that we had a lot in common. She wasn’t aware that she was being cool; she was just worried about a lot of family problems. We got the work thing cleared up, and we’re actually pretty good friends now. I’m really glad I didn’t let things escalate. Exploration is essential in developing a cooperative atmosphere. Exploration may

be done in various ways in different cultures, but it has several basic steps: (1) the issue is put on hold, (2) both parties explore other options, or (3) they delegate the problem to a third party. Blaming is suspended, so it’s possible to come up with new ideas or positions. “If all conflicting parties are committed to the process, there is a sense of joint ownership of the recommended solution. . . . [M]oving toward enemies as if they were friends exerts a paradoxical force on them and can bring transcendence.”29

UNDERSTANDING CONFLICT AND SOCIETY

To fully understand intercultural conflict, we need to look beyond individuals who may be in conflict. Many intercultural conflicts can be better understood by looking at the social, economic, historical, and political forces. Figure 8.1 shows the location of many armed conflicts around the world.

Social and Economic Forces

Social conflict arises from unequal or unjust social relationships. Remember the conflict we described in Chapter 1, the recurring rioting in French cities in 2005, 2007, and 2012 and the riots in London in 2011? Let’s look more closely at these conflicts.

Some experts say it’s just hooliganism—young undisciplined looters lashing out against society. And some point out the religious element, describing the conflict as rooted in Islamic discontent with the West, particularly in France, because many of the rioters come from Islamic backgrounds. And in both France and England, many of the rioters were ethnic and racial minorities. In France, it was primarily the children and grandchildren of North African immigrants; in London, many were from families originally migrated from former British colonies in the Caribbean— Jamaica, Bahamas, Barbados. However, we need to look beyond religious or ethnic differences to economic, political, and even historical contexts and emphasize the point that conflicts are often more complicated than they first appear.

As we suggested in Chapter 1, the rioting in both England and France started with those economically marginalized in society, those living in poor neighborhoods.

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Some experts said that it was more a lack of jobs than religious fanaticism that moti- vated the riots and may have even contributed to the 2015 terrorist attacks in Paris. On the other hand, to exclude other explanations is to insult the poor people who didn’t riot (i.e., most of them).

In addition to economic marginalization, many ethnic and racial minorities who rioted feel excluded from French and English society. Unlike the United States and Canada, where there is a belief (not always realized) that anyone can become American or Canadian, immigrants in France, particularly of African heritage, can never really become French; they remain forever on the margins. There is no such concept as Algerian French. In fact, they are systematically referred to not as French, or even Algerian French or Moroccan French but always with a religious label “Muslim”—a label that has some consequence. In contrast, one can be Chinese Canadian or Japanese American and still be considered a full citizen.30 For these reasons, even terrorist attacks may be rooted in deep social and cultural conflict. British and French officials had warned of tensions in many neighborhoods, and as long as these cultural groups remain marginalized, alienated, and largely unemployed, these cultural conflicts are likely to continue.

Figure 8.1 Hot spots of conflict in 2015. There are currently many countries that have conflicts. Conflicts are not unusual, but common around the world.

Source: http://ploughshares.ca/programs/armed-conflict/armed-conflicts-report/

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Similar conflicts can be seen in the United States as the disparity between the wealthy and the poor steadily increases. The Occupy Wall Street protests in 2011 and 2012 drew attention to the “greed and corruption” of the top 1 percent of the U.S. popula- tion that controls almost 50 percent of the country’s wealth. More recently the election of Donald Trump reflected discontent on part of working class whites and the Black Lives Matter movement drew attention to conflicts between police and communities of color.31

Some believe protests and even violence are ways that society can be forced to confront social inequalities and begin the long process of improving the situation. While there are no easy solutions to these conflicts, there have been some attempts to change the economic and cultural conditions underlying the social conflict in England and France, including renovating neglected neighborhoods and trying to connect with local Muslim leaders. U.S. FBI agents are also engaging with com- munity and religious leaders (imams) in Muslim neighborhoods like Dearborn Michigan to decrease chances of disaffected youth from becoming radicalized and to send messages of acceptance and inclusion. However, there are other forces at work. After several terrorist attacks in 2015, the French government extended emergency powers, outlawed public demonstrations, made more than a thousand raids, detained many people, and even surveilled Muslims who were not terrorists. Likewise, some in the United States are calling for restricting the civil liberties of U.S. Muslims (e.g., tracking, surveillance).32 The point here is that there is no reason to seek a single source for conflict. Rather, you can see how these various forces—economic, social, political, religious—may all play different roles simultaneously.

Historical and Political Forces

Although as children we may have learned that “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me,” we know that derogatory words can be a source of inter- cultural conflicts. Many derogatory words gain power from their historical usage and the legacy of oppression that they reference. As noted in Chapter 3, much of our identity has historical roots. It is only through understanding the past that we can understand what it means to be a member of a particular cultural group. For example, understand- ing the history of Ireland helps us understand the meaning of Irish identity.

Other examples of historical and political forces can be seen in international conflicts over border disputes. For example, longstanding disputes continue between Japan and three neighboring countries—Russia, China, and South Korea—over islands north of Japan. The conflict over these islands flared up again in 2014, a result of rising nationalism and political tensions in the region. While largely unin- habited, the islands do represent strategic military positions and substantial fishing and mineral resources—and represent unresolved conflicts dating back centuries (in the conflict between Japan and China, to the fifteenth century!). Experts think that while these conflicts will probably not turn into a military confrontation, neither are the chances that any of them will be resolved peacefully in the near future.33 The historical reasons for such conflicts help us understand the claims of both sides.

Sometimes ongoing tensions between groups is not limited to those groups and draws in others. For example, the conflict between the Israelis and the

Info Bites Sometimes intercultural conflicts center on environmental issues, e.g. like air pollution from large China and the U.S. which cause catastrophic impact in many other countries (e.g., rising sea levels, severe droughts). Attempts to establish regulations on polluting nations were finally successful December 2015 (a landmark accord signed by 195 countries) and reached partly because of improved relations between China and the United States—the world’s two largest polluters. Other conflicts have more immediate tragic outcomes. In 2015 there were—185 reported deaths across 16 countries, e.g., indigenous people defending their land from mining, logging, and agricultural businesses. In Peru, police killed four and injured 15 people protesting a Chinese- run mining company.

(continued)

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Palestinians is not limited to those two groups. The history of this part of the world, the role of religious differences, and the contemporary issues fueling the conflict all work together to ensure that the conflict draws in others.

On May 31, 2010, a Turkish flotilla carrying humanitarian aid was on its way to Gaza, in spite of an Israeli naval blockade, when Israeli commandos boarded one of the boats, the Mavi Marmara; a fight ensued and the commandos opened fire, kill- ing eight Turks and one Turkish American. The news went viral due to the seeming brutality of the Israeli attack. Relations between the two countries, already strained, broke down completely and remained so until recently. Historically, however, Turkey and Israel have been allies. They have had strong trade ties and even when diplomatic relations were nonexistent, 2014 saw one of the highest ever volume of Turkish-Israeli trade—$5.44 billion dollars.34

In addition to mutual trade interests, Turkey has played a mediator role in the Middle East in the past and in the recent war in Syria called for realigning of political powers. After Israeli Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu apologized to Turkey’s Prime Minister Tayyip Erdoğan for the Mavi Marmara incident in 2013, Erdoğan seemed willing to normalize relations and resume his shuttle diplomacy between Israel and the Palestinian Hamas. But there are a few sticking points. First, Turkey demanded that Israel lift its blockade on Hamas-ruled Gaza (Israel consid- ers the Gaza blockade a national security), and also compensation for those killed on the Mavi Marmara: “Erdoğan sees much to be gained to getting into the Gaza Strip and helping with the reconstruction there, but has stressed that the families of those who were killed on the Mavi Marmara must be compensated before hands are shaken and photoshoots are staged . . . [but] Syria’s civil war is making all regional players look at restoring relations with old foes, regardless of how much pride has to be swallowed.”35 These conflicts did not emerge from interpersonal conflicts among the current inhabitants; rather, in large part, they represent reenactments of conflicts grounded in the history of conflicts in the Middle East between Arabs and Israeli. The contemporary participants are caught in a historical web pitting cultural identi- ties against one another. In fact, these dynamics are at work all around the world. Historical antagonisms become part of cultural identities and cultural practices that place people in positions of conflict. Whether in the Middle East, Northern Ireland, Rwanda, Uganda, Nigeria, Sri Lanka, East Timor, Kosovo, or Chechnya, we can see these historical antagonisms lead to various forms of conflict.

Another type of political influence on intercultural conflict is anti-Americanism. Anti-Americanism refers to the ideas, feelings, and sometimes actions against the United States—most often against the U.S. government, although it can also refer to the culture and people. Anti-Americanism has a very long history and it is com- plicated by the economic, military, and political differences between the United States and other nations around the world. Anti-Americanism can affect intercultural interaction on many levels—from the interpersonal to the social—and you may want to reflect on the potential for conflict that may arise. How well do you understand anti-Americanism and what is the best way to deal with it?

Anti-Americanism is complex because it is a unifying perspective that crosses many cultures in ways that many cultural values do not: Foreign policy decisions

(SOURCES: Davenport, C. (2015, December 12). Nations approve landmark climate accord in Paris. Retrieved from http://www .nytimes.com /2015/12/13/world /europe/climate -change-accord-paris .html?_r=0; https:// uk.news.yahoo.com /report-2015-deadliest -environmental -activism-173626876 .html.)

Info Bites (cont.)

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by the U.S. government, like U.S. and NATO presence in the Middle East and unmanned drone attacks on civilians in Pakistan and Afghanistan, have resulted in anti-American sentiments in many parts of the world.36

Whatever you may feel about U.S. foreign policy, think about how these poli- cies impact other people around the world. While it may not be easy to avoid the kinds of conflict that arise due to anti-Americanism, ignorance of how U.S. foreign policy impacts others around the globe is not a helpful place to start understanding the perspective of others. Whether you agree or disagree with some of the overseas activities of the U.S. government, your own personal beliefs may not always matter in avoiding anti-Americanism.

When people witness conflict, they often assume that it is caused by personal issues between individuals. When we reduce conflict to the level of interpersonal interaction, we lose sight of the larger social and political forces that contextualize these conflicts. People are in conflicts for reasons that extend far beyond personal communication styles.

So how do we escape the historical, political, and social forces that entrap us in conflict and work toward a more peaceful society and world? Earlier in the chapter we outlined some strategies for dealing with interpersonal conflict. Let’s now turn our attention to several other responses to conflict situations.

Societal Responses to Conflict

Some conflict may be motivated by a desire to bring about social change. In social movements, individuals work together to bring about social change. They often use confrontation as a strategy to highlight the injustices of the present system. So, for

Turkish demonstra- tors in 2016, marking the sixth anniver- sary of the Mavi Marmara incident, when Israeli naval commandos boarded the Turkish ship, the Mavi Marmara— which was delivering humanitarian aid to Gaza—and killed 10 Turkish individuals. The implications of this international conflict incident can only be understood in terms of the long history of relations between Turkey and Israel.

© Ozan Kose/AFP/Getty Images

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example, when African American students in Greensboro, North Carolina, sat down at white-only lunch counters in the 1960s, they were pointing out the injustices of seg- regation. Although the students were nonviolent, their actions drew a violent reaction that, for many people, legitimized the claims of injustice. The women’s suffrage move- ment of the early twentieth century is another example of a social movement, a mass effort to win women the right to vote in the United States. Indeed, many contemporary social movements involve conflicts, including movements against racism, sexism, and homophobia; movements to protect animal rights, the environment, free speech, civil rights; and, recently, the Black Lives Matter movement.

College campuses are likely locations for much activism and a 2016 survey found that the number of students who said there was a “very good chance” they would participate in a protest while in college rose to 8.5 percent (up from 5.6 percent in 2014). Among black students, the number rose from 10.5 percent to 16 percent. These numbers were the highest ever recorded since the survey began in 1967! The report goes on to say that in more than 50 schools “student protesters made demands to right what they see as historic wrongs—demands for greater faculty diversity, new courses, public apologies, administrators’ ousting.” The tactics included hunger strikes, boycotts, walkouts, marches, occupying administrative offices, as well as social media strategies. Much of the protests focused on racist incidents including fraternity parties where members are invited to dress up and “go back to da hood,” offensive statues (and building names) on campus, honoring nineteenth-century White supremacists and pro-slavery graduates/benefactors.37

There is, of course, no comprehensive list of existing social movements. They can arise and fall apart, depending on the opposition they provoke, the media attention they attract, and the strategies they use. To stimulate social change, social movements need confrontation to highlight whatever perceived injustice is being done and to open the way for social change to halt the continuation of this injustice.

Confrontation, then, can be seen as an opportunity for social change, and social movements have also used violent forms of confrontation. Groups such as Action Directe in France; the Irish Republican Army; the environmental group Earth First!; and independence movements in Corsica, Algeria, Kosovo, and Chechnya have all been accused of using violence, which tends to result in their being labeled as ter- rorists rather than simply protesters.

However, confrontation does not necessarily mean violence. Nonviolent sanc- tions like strikes and boycotts confront and undermine the status quo. For example, in the resistance to apartheid in South Africa, widespread boycotts and strikes put pressure on white business owners, employers and government officials. When the regime reacted with open force, “repression . . . cost the regime any chance of avoiding economic punishment by the international community. Nonviolent power did not by itself bring down the curtain on white rule, but it discredited the regime’s authority and undermined its strategy for shielding apartheid from the many forces arrayed against it.”38

Although nonviolence is not the only form of confrontation employed by social movements, it has a long history—from Mahatma Gandhi’s struggle for India to gain independence from Britain, to the civil rights struggle in the United States, to

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Info Bites Communication scholar Don Ellis emphasizes the important role of communication in resolving longstanding intercultural conflicts:

Individuals and groups in conflict strategize, discuss, and manipulate symbols, all in an effort to control others and define themselves.

Individuals argue, persuade, inform, and develop rela- tions that accumu- late into cultural forces that can reduce prejudice and discrimination.

Simplistic commu- nication processes cannot resolve longstanding con- flicts, only interac- tion: diplomacy, dialogue, nego- tiation, that reach across cultural divides and provide the mechanisms by which conflicts are processed and may be reduced or even resolved.

These processes are not naive or soft, they

the struggle against apartheid in South Africa. And images of the violent confron- tations with nonviolent protesters tended to legitimize the social movements and delegitimize the existing social system. For example, the televised images of police dogs attacking schoolchildren and riot squads turning fire hoses on protesters in Birmingham, Alabama, in the 1950s and 1960s swung public sentiment in favor of the civil rights movement.

Even the suggestion of violence can be threatening to people. For example, in 1964, Malcolm X spoke in favor of civil rights: “The question tonight, as I under- stand it, is ‘The Negro Revolt and Where Do We Go from Here?’ or ‘What Next?’ In my little humble way of understanding it, it points toward either the ballot or the bullet.”39 Malcolm X’s rhetoric terrified many U.S. Americans, who then refused to give legitimacy to his movement. To understand communication practices such as these, it is important to study the social context in which the movement operated.

Peacebuilding

Some of the conflicts described in this chapter involve long-standing and violent intergroup conflicts that have lasted for decades, often between ethnic or religious groups within the same geographic area (e.g., Palestinians and Israelis, Sunni and Shia Muslims in Iraq and other countries, Hindus and Muslims in India, Serbs and Croats in former Yugoslavia, Greeks and Turks in Cyprus). These conflicts—where neighbor or sometimes members of the same family are on different sides—are particularly horrific and have devastating psychological effects, often enduring for generations.

Experts stress that these types of conflicts require special communication pro- cesses and a reframing of the problem and the enemy. For example, communication scholar Don Ellis suggests that the other side should not be considered as an enemy, that needs to be destroyed but as an adversary that needs to be engaged. In addition, both sides need to reframe the problems such that solutions require interdependence and engagement in “reasonable and skilled disagreement.”40 Thus, communication is essential (see “Info Bites” on this page) and needs to take place at all levels, from informal intercultural community dialogue groups to high-level government negotia- tion and diplomacy.

After years of working with these types of conflicts, communication scholar Benjamin Broome has developed a particularly effective type of dialogue group— facilitated intergroup dialogue.41 Dialogue differs from conversation in that it focuses on the power of speaking and being understood; it involves listening and speaking, not to persuade, but to clarify—even to clarify and truly understand an opposing viewpoint.

Intergroup dialogue is one of several strategies of peacebuilding (working toward equilibrium and stability in a society so that new disputes do not escalate into violence and war). The idea behind facilitated intergroup dialogue, and peacebuilding, is that government leaders alone cannot negotiate a true peace in these types of conflict. Rather, the general population and civic leaders must also be involved. Broome has conducted countless dialogue workshops and programs in the United States and all over the world—particularly on the small island of Cyprus, where Cypriot Turks and Greeks (continued)

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have been in (often violent) conflict for years. Broome and colleague stress that it is important the dialogue groups take place within larger strategies of community engagement/meetings wherein participant groups have the opportunity to present their ideas and have the potential to develop intercultural alliances with each other.42

The facilitated intergroup dialogue process usually begins with bringing together members from the two sides—persons, often community leaders, who are interested in working toward peace. Sometimes, presentations are made by each party describing their view of the conflict. Then a three-phase systematic dialogue—an exchange of ideas and perceptions—is conducted, facilitated by an impartial, third-party expert, like Ben Broome. The first step involves analyzing the current situation that affects peacebuilding efforts, the second is building a collective vision for the future, and the final step is developing a specific action plan to achieve peaceful collaboration. Each phase is carefully facilitated with the goal that each side really listens to and tries to understand the opposing side’s views. As you can imagine, achieving a vision and plan that everyone agrees to in situations where both sides feel tremendously hurt and victimized by the other is not easy!

Broome has identified some of the challenges that a third-party facilitator faces when conducting peacebuilding efforts. He stresses the importance of earn- ing the trust of parties in both sides of the conflict, which involves a great deal of time and effort. He spent two years in Cyprus, first learning about the problems there and building relationships across the ethnic divide. A facilitator also needs to be seen as impartial. Broome had to overcome some initial perceptions that, because he was American, he would favor the Greek side. Facilitators also need to deal with cultural differences (1) between the two groups (e.g., Greek Cypriots tend to be more expressive than Turks and so, monopolized some of the early dialogue sessions) and (2) between the facilitator’s own cultural orientation and the culture orientation of those involved in the discussion.43 They also note that it’s very important for facilitators to acknowledge the power relations and relative privilege or lack thereof of each group and also the role strong emotion plays in conflict situations. In spite of these challenges, Broome and others who use this peacebuilding approach have seen success in reducing intergroup conflict in many conflict contexts.43

Forgiveness

Today, forgiveness is the strategy being used around the world to break the trap of con- flict. This means letting go of—not forgetting—feelings of revenge. It often includes an acknowledgement of feelings of hurt and anger and a need for healing. Perhaps the most fundamental aspect of forgiveness is trying to let go of hostile feelings and desire for revenge and retribution.44 Yet forgiveness is often complicated, as we can see in the case of Michael Lapsely, an anti-apartheid chaplain who was targeted with a letter bomb in 1990 which took both hands, an eye, and both eardrums. “For the first three months I was as helpless as a newborn baby. I realized soon after that if I was filled with hatred and desire for revenge, I’d be a victim forever.” He found that he was able to move

are the requirements of problem solving. (SOURCE: Ellis, D.G. (2015, January 21). “Devoted” conflict actors are not “rational” actors. Retrieved from https:// peaceandconflictpolitics .com/page/2/.)

Info Bites (cont.)

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beyond these feelings. However, for him and other survivors of the brutal apartheid reign, compensation and/or some measure of restorative justice is important in prevent- ing violent revenge and encouraging forgiveness:

I believe in restorative justice and I believe in reparation. So my attitude to the perpetrator is this: I’ll forgive them, but since I’ll never get my hands back, and will therefore always need someone to help me, they should pay that person’s wages. Not as a condition of forgiveness, but as part of reparation and restitution.45

He developed “Healing of Memories” workshops to support those, like him, who suffered physical and psychological scars of apartheid. Similarly, South African government’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission was formed in 1996 after the abolition of apartheid in 1994 to investigate and facilitate the healing of racial wounds as a result of apartheid—seen as essential in progressing as a nation past this terrible era (see photo of these hearings on page 240). As you can see, it isn’t always easy to move on from conflict, but it can help avoid future conflicts and future pain for others who follow.

S U M M A R Y

In this chapter, we identified several characteristics of intercultural conflict: ambigu- ity, language issues, and contradictory conflict styles. There are different types of conflict relating to interests, values, and goals, and to cognitive and affective factors. We also emphasized the importance of context in understanding and dealing with conflict. We then described various influences on conflict management (cultural values and family influences) and outline four different conflict styles, including discussion style which is direct and emotionally restrained, the engagement style which is direct and confrontational, the accommodating style which is indirect and emotionally restrained, and the dynamic style which is indirect and emotionally intense. Some cultural groups use intermediaries to resolve conflict.

For example, people from individualistic cultures may tend to use discussion style, whereas people from collectivist cultures may prefer the accommodating or dynamic style. However, the type of conflict and the relationship of the disputants also influence these tendencies. Gender, and may also influence conflict style but it is important not to assume that any one individual will behave in a particular way due to their gender or ethnicity. We also discussed ways in which religious differ- ences can be a source of intercultural conflict.

We then highlighted productive versus destructive and cooperative versus com- petitive approaches to conflict and discussed the importance of social, economic, historical, and political forces in understanding conflict and society. Conflicts arise against the backdrop of existing social movements—for example, in reaction to racism, sexism, and homophobia. Some social movements use nonviolent means of dealing with these conflicts; others confront conflict with violence.

Finally, we described other societal responses to conflict, particularly those involving peacebuilding efforts, such as the facilitated intergroup dialogue that

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has been implemented in Cyprus and other conflict areas. We concluded by emphasizing the importance of forgiveness, not easy, but one way to stop the cycle of conflict.

B U I L D I N G I N T E R C U LT U R A L S K I L L S

1. Stay centered and do not polarize. This means moving beyond traditional stereo- types and either-or thinking. It is important, though difficult, to avoid explaining the other person’s motives as simple while seeing your own as complex. Try to see both sides, and be open to a third, centered perspective that may bring a new synthesis into view. It’s OK to get angry, but it’s important to move past the anger—to refrain from acting out feelings.

2. Maintain contact. This does not mean that you have to stay in the conflict situa- tion. Sometimes we need to walk away for a while. However, do not cut off the relationship. Attempt a dialogue rather than isolating yourself from or fighting with your opponent. Unlike normal conversation, dialogue is slow, careful, full of feeling, respectful, and attentive. Dialogue offers an important opportunity for coming to a richer understanding of your own intercultural conflicts and experiences.

3. Recognize the existence of different styles. Conflict is often exacerbated because of the unwillingness of partners to recognize style differences, which often have cultural origins. Failure to recognize cultural differences can lead to negative evaluations of partners.

4. Identify your preferred style. Although we may change our way of dealing with conflict, based on the situation and the type of conflict, most of us tend to use the same style in most situations. It is also important to recognize which conflict styles “push your conflict button.” Some styles are more or less compatible, and it’s important to know which styles are congruent with your own.

5. Be creative and expand your repertoire. If a particular way of dealing with conflict is not working, be willing to try a different style. In most intercultural communication, adaptability and flexibility serve us well, and conflict com- munication is no exception. This means that there is no so-called objective way to deal with conflict. Recognizing this condition may promote conflict resolution.

6. Recognize the importance of context. It is important to understand that larger social, political, and historical contexts give meaning to many types of conflict. Conflict arises for many reasons, and it would be misleading to think that all conflict can be understood solely within the interpersonal context. And once you understand the contexts that frame the conflict, whether cultural, social, historical, or political, you will be in a better position to conceive of possibili- ties for resolution.

7. Be willing to forgive. This means letting go of—not forgetting—feelings of revenge. This may be particularly useful in intercultural conflict.

Info Bites Active listening is a three-step process suggested by interpersonal communication scholars to help reduce conflict. It includes paraphrasing the other person’s ideas, expressing understanding of them, and then asking questions about them. From an intercultural perspective, why would this process be helpful?

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A C T I V I T Y

Cultures in conflict: In groups of four, select two countries or cultural groups that are currently or have historically been in conflict. Divide each group of four into pairs, and have each pair research the conflict from the perspective of one of the two cultural groups. Using online and library resources, including interviews with cultural members, outline the major issues and arguments of the assigned culture. Explore the role of cultural values, political contexts, and historical contexts in the conflict. Be prepared to present an oral or written report of your research.

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