COM2006 Week 5 Discussion

Relationship Challenges © 2014 South University

2 Relationship Challenges

Stages of a Relationship 1. Preinteraction Awareness

At this stage, there is no relationship. One or both people who may potentially be involved in the relationship are gaining information about the other person through passive strategies, such as observing and talking with others about their person of interest.

Example Dina has been noticing Dave, who just started working in her office. Dina’s interest in Dave grows as she sees how he interacts with her officemates. She decides to ask her girlfriend, who sits next to Dave, about what she thinks of him.

2. Acquaintance

At this stage, the relationship is casual and formal. Both people in the potential relationship show their public selves and stick to superficial topics in their conversations. Example After talking to her girlfriend, Dina decides to introduce herself to Dave. She asks him what he thinks about his new job, and they start talking about work.

3. Exploration

When a relationship escalates to the exploration stage, both parties are working at getting to know each other on a deeper level. Discussions are still more superficial but are now more about each person, such as personal history and interests. Example Dina and Dave start talking about topics other than work. Dina asks Dave where he went to school, and Dave asks Dina about her family and where she grew up.

4. Intimacy

When a relationship reaches the intimacy stage, both people are committed to the relationship and are at ease with sharing intimate thoughts and experiences. Communication becomes highly personal. Intimacy requires trust, which is developed over time. In the intimacy stage, as a couple, both people develop their own language, such as jokes or words that they use that have meaning just for them.

Page 2 of 3 Interpersonal Communication

©2014 South University

3 Relationship Challenges

Example Dina and Dave have been seeing each other for six months now. They have developed an intimate relationship, and as they are building on their commitment to each other, their emotional bond grows. Dave and Dina are now engaged to get married.

5. Turmoil or Stagnation

At this stage, the relationship flounders or is in trouble because of increased unresolved conflict. On the other hand, the case may be that one or both people in the relationship have lost interest and the relationship has become stagnant. This stage is often characterized by conflict, which can erupt in fighting or cause one or both people to walk away with the issues unresolved. At this stage, the couple spends less time with each other and limits communication and physical contact. Example Dina and Dave have been married for four years now and have decided not to have children. They both work overtime and spend very little time with each other. Over the years, both have found more enjoyment going out without each other and those activities that they used to enjoy together no longer interest either of them. The relationship has lost its vitality.

6. Deintensification, Individualization, and Separation

If the turmoil is not lessened or resolved and if the relationship stays stagnant, the relationship can move into the deintensification stage. At this stage, one or both people in the relationship significantly reduce communication and physical contact and reliance on each other. Each person defines situations in terms of “I” and not “we.” Example Dave and Dina now have separate bedrooms and go out separately with their own friends. Dina decides to buy a car and open a bank account in her own name because she feels that she needs to start building her own credit history. Dave starts looking at apartment ads. After a frank discussion, Dina and Dave both agree to separate, divide up their joint assets, and go their separate ways.

Page 3 of 3 Interpersonal Communication

©2014 South University