last week5

Take the Parenting Quality in Family of Origin Self-Assessment in Chapter 9. Based on that result, what parenting skills do you think you will struggle with? Review the 26 items and discuss two or three items that you would handle in a different manner from your experience with your own children? How would you learn these new skills?

Out of the 26 questions, the ones that stood out to me the most that I have done differently with my kids are:

My father/mother had a problem with alcohol or drugs

My father/mother was not there for me

I really never understood my father/mother

Both of my parents had addictions to drugs and alcohol, so much so, that my brother and I were removed from their care, I was 2 and my brother was 4. I am very protective of my children when it comes to substance abuse issues, and I refuse to let them be around people with those issues. They are only 4 and 6 at the moment and I have memories of horrible things I saw at those ages, because although I was removed from my parents’ home, we were placed with a family member that also suffered from addiction. Clearly, this effected their ability to be there for. My mother did get sober when I was 10 and I went to live with her at that time, but my father never did get sober and I do not see him often. I make it a point to my children that they know I am always there for them, no matter how little or small the issue is that they are dealing with. Although my children are still young, I also make it a point to talk with them when they are upset to try and understand the situation from their point of view and not just brush everything off as not important.

Julie

Good morning class and Professor,

After taking the quiz I think the one I struggle most with is treating or favoring my children equally. I sometimes have a tendency to favor one child over another at times. I had that issue while growing up as my parents seemed to have favored my brother over me with things and to be honest, I hated it. I think in my defense I do not realize I do it. One issue I had growing up was I found it hard to get my parent's approval or even please them. Now that I am older, I still want my parent's approval. For my own children, I do not want them to feel that they have to fight for my approval. I am pleased with everything they do and the choices they have made. Then when I was growing up my Dad would lose his temper and would shut down to us. I try not to do that with my children, but sometimes I find it hard not to do it, but I get angry so fast sometimes. I think part of this has to do with my busy schedule. I think I would improve it by putting myself and family first and the rest will follow.

Thank you and have a good day. maria