COM2006-3

Developing Communication Strategies Assertive Communication You can apply the following steps to show your assertiveness in communication:

1. Describe the situation or issue using nonjudgmental words. 2. Define how this situation has affected you. 3. Name a future solution. 4. Listen actively for the other’s response or negotiate an acceptable future solution.

Example Tina was unhappy with her girlfriend Joy because Joy, more often than not, arrived late for their outings. Tina didn’t want to lose Joy as a friend, but she did need Joy to be more considerate of her time. Tina, after reading about how to be an assertive communicator, decided to talk to Joy about the issue. First, Tina described how she had waited for Joy for a half hour at the mall. Then, she explained that she felt hurt because her time was not respected. Next, Tina suggested that if Joy felt that she was going to be late, she needed to call Tina before Tina left her house to meet her. Finally, Tina listened to Joy’s response to make sure that they both were in agreement. Expert Feedback Assertive communication, unlike aggressive communication, does not attack the other person. Instead, assertive communication focuses on the issue or situation and on what can be done for future actions. Assertive communication is not about using accusing “you” statements but focuses on the “I” by explaining how the action affects you.

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