COM2006

Be A Competent Communicator

Now, let's look at an example of how you can use your understanding of the principles of interpersonal

communication to be a more competent communicator.

Lynda and her roommate, Sarah, usually get along quite well. While Lynda's side of the dorm room is

very neat and tidy, Sarah's side is often quite messy. Lynda is often irritated because of Sarah's habit of throwing clothes on the �oor and not cleaning up after having her food, leaving everything in a mess.

Lynda is at a loss about how to handle this situation as she does not want to upset their relationship.

Lynda's knowledge of the principles of interpersonal communication has helped her understand that

she needs to carefully strategize about how to best approach Sarah. Since communication is

irreversible, Lynda knows that it is best not to talk to Sarah when she is feeling irritated, especially

when she �rst comes into the room and sees more trash strewn about. Instead of talking about the problem in the room, Lynda decides to ask Sarah to have coffee with her. This strategy, Lynda thinks,

will help her keep Sarah's irritation in check.

Lynda also understands that communication is complicated and that dealing with Sarah's habit of being

messy may be linked to other issues. Sarah may have been reprimanded in the past by her parents

about the way she kept her room, and now that she is �nally on her own, Sarah's messiness may be

linked to a new sense of personal freedom. In light of how messages can easily become misconstrued,

Lynda knows that she needs to carefully handle the situation and be assertive without being accusing so that she does not put Sarah on the defensive. Lynda's assertive approach is to explain to Sarah how

the messiness affects her rather than to confront Sarah with accusations.

Also, Lynda understands that communication is rule governed. In other words, she is aware of the fact

that one of the important communication rules is to respect Sarah's privacy by not making her

messiness public knowledge and embarrassing her in the process. Therefore, the rule prevents Lynda

from discussing Sarah's problems with others. With this in mind, Lynda �nds a quiet corner of the coffee shop so that their talk will not be overheard. Also, since Lynda wants Sarah to feel comfortable

and know that Lynda genuinely cares for Sarah, she makes an effort to gently look into Sarah's eyes

while she is explaining about how she feels.

Finally, knowing that communication has both content and relationship helps Lynda �gure out what she is going to talk about and how she is going to talk to Sarah. In other words, Lynda understands that competent communicators know that effective communication requires you to say the correct words to convey your intended meaning (content) in the appropriate way that communicates your intent

without offending others (relationship). Strategizing the content of the message, Lynda decides that

the most irritating part of Sarah's messiness is her leaving old food and dirty dishes lying around, which

causes the room to stink and can attract critters. So Lynda decides not to tackle the whole issue in their

�rst talk but to focus on the fact that the garbage in the room needs to be cleared. Since she knows

that Sarah can be very sensitive when criticized but also has a great sense of humor, Lynda decides to

buy a garbage can with a lid for the room. Lynda decorates the can with a bunch of zany stickers and some pictures of Sarah's favorite stars.

On the day of the talk, Lynda wraps the garbage can with brightly colored paper and bows and arrives

at the coffee shop early so that she can surprise Sarah. The present lightens the tone of the

conversation and helps Lynda and Sarah start out on a positive note. Since Lynda really values Sarah as

a friend and a roommate, she is very careful to talk in a friendly tone and look into Sarah's eyes and smile. They both laughed about the zany can and start to talk about the issue.

The result of the talk is that Sarah now understands how Lynda feels and has agreed to make real

effort to clean up her side of the room. Lynda is very glad that she took the time to strategize and form

a plan on the basis of her understanding of the principles of interpersonal communication. The result

of her efforts is that now Lynda and Sarah are even closer friends and have a better understanding of

how to accommodate each other’s needs.

Additional Materials

The Competent Communicator

Scenario 1

Which communication model best represents the given scenario?

The school fire alarm starts blaring. The teacher firmly commands the students to leave their chairs and file out of the door quietly and quickly.

Select the correct option.

The action communication model

The interaction communication model

The transactional communication model

View a PDF Transcript of The Competent Communicator

(media/transcripts/Week1/SU_COM2006_W1_G1_L1.pdf?

_&d2lSessionVal=vlG2w4GLnr9erI10ZCLnbwrV8&ou=91172)

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