Rough Draft Review Process Evaluation

Proofed Paper: ntp854205 - Mon Mar 23 18:32:51 EDT 2020

Paper Title:

No. of Pages: 0

Paper Style: APA Paper Type: N/A

Taken English? Yes English as Second Language? No

Feedback Areas: General, N/A

Paper Goals: Prepare: Step 1: Prepare a shortened version of your Final Paper (at least four

pages) by including the following: Introduction paragraph and thesis statement

you developed for your Week 3 Assignment. Background information of the global

societal issue you have chosen. Brief argument supporting at

Proofing Summary:

Hi Casey,

I’m AJ, your composition tutor for the Writing Center. I have reviewed your submission and have several suggestions that will help you

revise. Please feel free to contact us through a 24/7 live writing session with any follow-up questions or for any clarification.

Below, you will find a revision plan along with margin comments within your paper. Use my suggestions as a starting point for the

revision process. Also, please note that I have not edited or proofread the entire draft for minor errors, but rather, focused on overall

concerns such as idea development.

This is a good start to your essay on global drug trade and trafficking. I thought you did a great job with immediately stating the

purpose of this paper and sticking to the overall theme of this purpose throughout the entirety of this assignment. In addition to this,

you also did very well in your efforts to ensure that the information in this paper was delivered in a highly organized fashion.

For your revisions, I suggest focusing on:

1. You have not yet addressed all of the items in the prompt. This prompt is a complicated one, to be sure. If you carefully break down

the prompt, you will see that it is asking for you to:

• discuss the problem,

• propose a solution to the problem,

• evaluate the validity, reliability, and biases of the sources you used in addition to pointing out where more research is needed, and

• show ethical implications of your proposed solution.

Please review the sample paper found in your course to help you to better understand the expectations of this assignment and to

complete all of the necessary sections.

When reviewing this sample paper, I would suggest paying extra attention to the level headings and the specific titles they used for

these headings. Consider using these level headings as a template for how you should organize them.

2. The introduction paragraph should end with a thesis statement that includes the societal problem, your proposed solution to the

societal problem and also the positive/negative ethical outcome of the solution. Consider following this format for your thesis: (Your

issue) should/should not ____. Instead, we should (insert your solutions to the problem). These solutions create (insert the positive

and negative ethical implications).

3. Develop your paragraphs more. In general, all paragraphs need to have 3 pieces:

P-Point—also known as your topic sentence where you state what the paragraph is about

I-Information—where you present your information (facts, details, quotes, and reasons)

E-Explanation—where you explain the relevance or importance of your information. Specifically for this essay, you should focus on

developing this part of your paragraphs. You did very well with making sure you used a strong amount of information, but now you

should work on supplementing your information with more personal analysis in your own words that explains the significance of your

information. Please be sure to do all of this when writing your paragraphs. For help with this, click here:

http://writingcenter.ashford.edu/body-paragraphs

Good luck in the course, and I hope we can help you with your next assignment.

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Proofed Paper: ntp854205 - Mon Mar 23 18:32:51 EDT 2020

For more help with formatting your title page and running header click here:

http://writingcenter.ashford.edu/introduction-apa

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Proofed Paper: ntp854205 - Mon Mar 23 18:32:51 EDT 2020

Make sure you are ending your

introduction with a clear thesis that

states the overall purpose of your

paper, and provides a general

introduction to the topics of your

following body paragraphs.

Keep in mind that this paper should be

organized into sections via level

headings. Consider reviewing the

template for this assignment to ensure

that you have addressed everything that

was required from you for this paper.

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Proofed Paper: ntp854205 - Mon Mar 23 18:32:51 EDT 2020

Make sure you are citing all of your

sources in proper APA style.

For more help with in-text citations, use this guide: http://writingcenter.ashford.edu/citing-within-your-paper

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Proofed Paper: ntp854205 - Mon Mar 23 18:32:51 EDT 2020

You do a great job of using plenty of citations

from scholarly resources in this section of

your paper, but you should consider

supplementing these citations with more

analysis in your own words to properly explain

the significance of these citations.

You do a good job here summarizing your

thoughts with your final sentence, but you

might consider adding a part to this sentence

that gives a general introduction to the topic of

the next paragraph.

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Proofed Paper: ntp854205 - Mon Mar 23 18:32:51 EDT 2020

Consider developing your ideas in this paragraph to a greater extent. Keep in mind that all of your paragraphs should be

around 7-11 sentences in length. For help with this, click here:

http://writingcenter.ashford.edu/body-paragraphs

This is a good start to your conclusion, but

keep in mind your conclusion should

somewhat resemble your introduction

paragraph. It should summarize all the

thoughts brought up in this paper, restate

your thesis, and leave the reader with one

last memorable statement.

For your final draft, make sure that

you include sections in this essay

that cover your , the ethical

implications of your proposed

solution, and an evaluation of your

sources. Both of these sections are

necessary to complete this assignment.

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Proofed Paper: ntp854205 - Mon Mar 23 18:32:51 EDT 2020

For help formatting your references page, click here: http://writingcenter.ashford.edu/format-your-reference-list

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Proofed Paper: ntp854205 - Mon Mar 23 18:32:51 EDT 2020

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