can you apply those changes to my paper?

Proofed Paper: ntp569923 - Sun Mar 10 10:51:22 EDT 2019

Paper Title:

No. of Pages: 0

Paper Style: APA Paper Type: N/A

Taken English? Yes English as Second Language? Yes

Feedback Areas: General, N/A

Paper Goals: After viewing the video Positive Discipline for Toddlers (Links to an external

site.)Links to an external site. (for an alternate accessible resource read “Diana

Baumrind’s (1996) Prototypical Descriptions of 3 Parenting Styles (Links to an

external site.)Links to an external site.”) and reviewing

Proofing Summary:

Hi Daisy,

I’m Jeanette, your writing tutor for the Writing Center. I have reviewed your submission and have several suggestions that will help

you revise. Please feel free to contact us through a 24/7 live writing session with any follow-up questions or for any clarification.

Below, you will find a revision plan along with margin comments within your paper. Use my suggestions as a starting point for the

revision process. Note that I have not proofread the draft for minor errors, but rather, focused on larger concerns such as idea

development. For a complete look at

grammar and punctuation, please use the Grammarly software available under “Writing Center” in your

classroom.

You have done a nice job of getting your initial thoughts down on paper about the parenting styles that you have selected to write

about. You have stayed on topic throughout. Now it is time to organize your essay in a logical and cohesive manner.

For your revisions, I suggest focusing on:

1. Thesis: All academic essays should include a thesis statement at the end of the introductory paragraph that sets the purpose and

direction for your paper. Omit first person point of view when creating a thesis. Your thesis should be a clear, concise, and

declarative statement. When revising your thesis, it should include the main topic of your paper = parenting styles and the key

points that you will discuss within your paper. For more information on writing a thesis, click here:

http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/writing-a-thesis

2. Organization: Your essay should be set up in the proper format with a title page, an introduction paragraph including a thesis

statement, main body supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion, and a References page that list the sources in alphabetical order by

last name. Each of your main body paragraphs should support your thesis statement and the overall purpose of your paper.

3. Paragraph Development: As you revise, I suggest working on your overall paragraph development. A good rule of thumb for

college papers is that paragraphs should be about 7-11 sentences long. Remember the PIE method for paragraph development -

point, information, and explanation. Each main body paragraph must have a point = topic sentence. The topic sentence includes

what the paragraph will prove or discuss. It should support your thesis statement. Next, state the relevant information about your

topic. The information is evidence - facts, details, reasons, examples - used to support or develop the point. Then include an

explanation of your analysis or evaluation of the information and share how it supports your argument and your thesis statement.

For more information about developing body paragraphs and the PIE method:

http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/body-paragraphs

4. Avoiding Plagiarism: For proper APA format, all in-text citations require the same basic information: Author’s last name (no first

names or initials), year of publication (or “n.d.” if there is “no date”), page or paragraph number (for direct quotations only). For a

direct quote...(Smith, 2017, p. 15).

For a paraphrase...(Smith, 2017). Block quotations are used when the direct quote you are using is 40+ words in length

(approximately four or more lines of text). When you have a quote this long, it must be made into a block. For more information on

in-text citations and block quotes, click on the links below:

http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/citing-within-your-paper

http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/block-quotations

Good luck in the course!

Jeanette

Writing Consultant

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Title page header states: Running head: INSERT YOUR ESSAY TITLE IN ALL CAPS

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Styles

For proper APA format, all font within your paper

should be consistent throughout. Use 12 point

Times New Roman. Black and no bold font.

Double-space throughout your paper.

You paper should have one inch margins all

around. Your essay should be at the left margin.

Indent at the start each new paragraph one half

inch or one tab stop.

Your essay should have at least five distinct

paragraphs - introduction, at least three main

body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each

formatted the same.

For more information on APA format,

click on the link below:

http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/introduction-apa

In academic writing, it is best not to include the

reader by using words such as you, we, and our.

In your writing, you want to make declarative

statements that take a stance to create a more

formal tone. Using you sounds like you are having

a conversation with the reader and it is not

acceptable in academic writing. Use third person

point of view. Review and revise your essay to

omit all instances of including the reader in your

writing – unless it is part of a direct quote. Also,

omit first person with the word "I".

Your font should not be italicized

For proper APA format, all in-text citations require

the same basic information: Author’s last name (no

first names or initials), year of publication (or “n.d.” if

there is “no date”), page or paragraph number (for

direct quotations only).

For a direct quote...(Smith, 2017, p. 15).

For a paraphrase...(Smith, 2017).

Block quotations are used when the direct quote you

are using is 40+ words in length (approximately four

or more lines of text). When you have a quote this

long, it must be made into a block.

For more information on in-text citations and block

quotes, click on the links below:

http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/citing-within-your-paper

http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/block-quotations

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Proofed Paper: ntp569923 - Sun Mar 10 10:51:22 EDT 2019

Avoid starting your paragraph with a direct quote or

paraphrase. Your paragraph should start with a

topic sentence in your own words. Your topic

sentence should introduce the main point of the

paragraph and it should support your thesis

statement.

This is a run-on sentence. The run-on sentence is

a common punctuation error that can create

confusion in your writing. A run-on sentence

occurs when two or more complete sentences

(independent clauses) are joined with no

punctuation. I would suggest breaking down this

sentence into two or more complete thoughts to

create smaller, clearer sentences. Add a period

and a capital letter to separate the sentences.

Avoid ending your paragraph with a direct quote or

paraphrase. Your paragraph should end with a

summary sentence in your own words. Your

summary sentence should wrap up the main point

of the paragraph and tie everything together

before moving on to the next point. In addition,

direct quotes and paraphrases should always be

explained.

As you revise, I suggest working on your overall

paragraph development. A good rule of thumb

for college papers is that paragraphs should be

about 7-11 sentences long.

Remember the PIE method for paragraph

development - point, information, and

explanation. Each main body paragraph must

have a point = topic sentence. The topic

sentence includes what the paragraph will prove

or discuss. It should support your thesis

statement. Next, state the relevant information

about your topic. The information is evidence -

facts, details, reasons, examples - used to

support or develop the point. Then include an

explanation of your analysis or evaluation of the

information and share how it supports your

argument and your thesis statement. For more

information about developing body paragraphs

and the PIE method:

http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/body-paragraphs

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Proofed Paper: ntp569923 - Sun Mar 10 10:51:22 EDT 2019

Your paper should end with a distinct conclusion

paragraph.

The conclusion should be a summary of your

paper. It should clearly end your paper and share

what the reader should take away about parenting

styles. Include a restatement of your thesis

statement and the main points of your paper. The

conclusion should be a summary that ties your

paper together and should not contain new

information. For more information on writing a

conclusion, please follow this link:

http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/introductions-conclusions

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Proofed Paper: ntp569923 - Sun Mar 10 10:51:22 EDT 2019

For proper APA format,

All font within your paper should be consistent

throughout. Use 12 point Times New Roman.

Black and no bold font. Double-space

throughout your paper.

Your entries should be listed in alphabetical

order by the author's last name.

Your entries should be listed at the left margin

and the second and subsequent lines should

be indented to create a hanging indent.

When including a URL for an online journal,

you must search the Internet for the journal’s

home page and include that URL in your

reference entry. Don’t use the PDF or the

university library’s link. Omit the hyperlinks

and the underlines.

For more information on creating a

References page in APA format, please click

on the link below:

http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/format-your-reference-list

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