Discussion 2: Skills and Sensitivities

Combat, War, and Military Families

Combat, War, and Military Families Program Transcript

BETSY FLANIGAN: The first time that Desmond went to Vietnam when we were married-- he had been deployed twice before we were married-- we had a small child and a new baby. And I moved back with my parents. And during that time, which was 1968-- the Tet Offensive-- you literally picked up the Army Times every week and read the list of people to make sure there was no one you knew.

And I did identify our best man was killed. Desmond never told me. I saw it in the paper. And two others who were in our wedding party.

Well, one time I was sitting with my parents and a person came up the stairs. We had stone steps leading up to our front door, and he was in uniform. And I thought, oh, no, this is it. And I went tearing out of the room where my parents were, up the stairs, shut the door, and just stayed there. It was like running away from-- this is it. They're coming to tell me he's dead.

And I waited about 10 minutes. Nothing. And then my father called from downstairs and said, Betsy, are you all right? You ran from the room so suddenly. And I said, who was that at the door? And he said, oh, it was a person from the band here. They're here to collect money for their band.

I could breathe then. I could breathe again. I just couldn't believe it. Because I had heard stories from other wives who they see the car driving in, the chaplain's car driving into the quarters, and they know somebody in the neighborhood's going to get the news.

And one wife told me that she jumped in her car and drove away as far as-- if I get away, they won't be able to find me. But anyway, so that was very scary time, that whole year, 1968.

That first year, 1968 when I was with my parents, and not knowing whether his name would be on there was difficult. But when it's so constant, you have to go on and live your life. You have to mother your baby, take care of your parents, so you don't think about it every minute.

The second time he was deployed, we had two children and I was expecting Anne. There were two little boys and I was expecting Anne, and he went off for a year again. I returned to my hometown. But this time, I did not move in with my parents.

I think, somehow, God blessed us. We rented a half a house. The other half of the house were the owners. They had seven children. Seven built-in babysitters for me. Our basements, we opened-- joined so that any rainy day the children all played together. It was wonderful.

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Combat, War, and Military Families

To me, that's the biggest thing to have somebody else, even though that wasn't an army wife. That was a person dealing with motherhood and young children. That's a huge help when you have somebody in your same situation.

Combat, War, and Military Families Additional Content Attribution

IMAGES: Images provided by http://www.istockphoto.com/

SPECIAL THANKS: The Wilkinson and Flannigan Family

MUSIC: Creative Support Services Los Angeles, CA

Dimension Sound Effects Library Newnan, GA

Narrator Tracks Music Library Stevens Point, WI

Signature Music, Inc Chesterton, IN

Studio Cutz Music Library Carrollton, TX

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