Assignment 1: Communicating Effectively with Children

EDUC6358: Strategies for Working with Diverse Children “Communicating with Young Children”

Program Transcript

[MUSIC PLAYING]

NARRATOR: Sensitivity, respect, acceptance, reflective listening, and providing the space for each child to be her unique self, Lisa Kolbeck, director of Little School of Family Childcare, shares her philosophy and suggestions with regard to communicating with children.

LISA KOLBECK: In my experience working with children, the way I know a child is to see their play. And the way I can find out about their play is first watch them, and then ask them questions about where they are in their play-mind. So what we saw Luna being today, being an owl, is a metaphor for a deep part of herself. The first clue that I had this morning when she first came in, she said, what are these named? And she pointed to the owl's talons. And I said, talons. And she said, I have talons.

So that was my clue for that was going to be Luna's play metaphor for the day. Children don't always keep such a strong one idea. Many children bounce between many play ideas. But you can always count on Luna to hold onto one play idea. As an experienced teacher, I know I can use Luna's play idea in my curriculum. She had really become an owl, because she had the wings on, and she had the face painting on.

So her internal owl self was kind of coming out. So my first job is to help children communicate with each other. And to do that, they have to feel listened to and seen. And for Miley, what I knew is that it was a perfect place for her, because there were no other children. It wasn't noisy. She's a very quiet child. And her voice gets lost. And Luna's a very quiet, receptive player. Somebody says something to her, and she always listens and takes it and responds. That's a wonderful quality she has.

I felt my job was to kind of create a safe play-listening space at that moment, so that the owl and the cat could relate. And then I'm always also interested in pulling in the science that they've learned and what they know about the real world, about real owls and real cats. That's what I was doing in that play scenario. And just asking a few questions-- do you need a nest? what do you eat?-- helps them imagine and move to their next action, play-action. And my goal is to have them play together without needing an adult to be there.

She's painting her strong, sharp talons. Luna, do you remember on the owl that you had, how many talons did they have?

FEMALE SPEAKER: Three.

LISA KOLBECK: Three.

FEMALE SPEAKER: And I got five.

LISA KOLBECK: It has five. They look great. You look good. It looks like you need a branch to sit on, because that's what the talons do, don't they? They hold on to things. Perching.

FEMALE SPEAKER: Hoo hoo.

FEMALE SPEAKER: Hi.

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LISA KOLBECK: Hi.

FEMALE SPEAKER: Hi, cat. I'm owl from Little Bear.

LISA KOLBECK: You're owl from Little Bear.

FEMALE SPEAKER: Mmm-hmm. You're cat from Little Bear.

LISA KOLBECK: Luna, so you're a boy owl, and this is a kitty cat. And what shall we play? What do you guys want to play?

FEMALE SPEAKER: Owl and kitty cat.

LISA KOLBECK: Owl and kitty cat. What color ears to you want, Kitty? Pink ears. So Owl, here's my question. If you're an owl and you're an omnivore-- do you remember what that means?-- --do you hunt little animals?

FEMALE SPEAKER: Uh-huh.

LISA KOLBECK: Uh-huh. And is that part of your game, hunting? Because that's something that owls do with their talons.

FEMALE SPEAKER: They try to get them.

LISA KOLBECK: They try to catch little animals.

FEMALE SPEAKER: Uh-huh, like house mouses.

LISA KOLBECK: Like house mouses.

FEMALE SPEAKER: And what else?

LISA KOLBECK: Think. What's another small mammal?

FEMALE SPEAKER: A panda.

LISA KOLBECK: Really?

FEMALE SPEAKER: Well, a baby panda.

LISA KOLBECK: Well, a baby panda's smaller.

FEMALE SPEAKER: Or a baby kitty, a kitten.

LISA KOLBECK: Probably, I'm guessing that Miley won't want to play that game if you're going to hunt her.

FEMALE SPEAKER: OK. Then I will be a nice owl that doesn't eat anything, just fruit.

LISA KOLBECK: Oh, kind of like a fruit bat, like Stellaluna but different. So do you want to go fly away and fetch some fruits? OK, here's your nest material. Pull it out.

FEMALE SPEAKER: It's going to be ready in no time.

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LISA KOLBECK: I think, Kitty, she might need your help. Pull it out, your nest-making material. Pull.

FEMALE SPEAKER: Owls are very strong.

LISA KOLBECK: No kidding.

FEMALE SPEAKER: And my wings can reach all the--

LISA KOLBECK: OK, can you form it into a nest? Make room for Kitty. Oh, there's the nest.

It's almost like children have a play being and a real being. And they're both real, of course, but children's play being is like a metaphor for their real being. I'm always aware, being around children, of how fast the adult world moves, and how noisy it is. And so one of the things I was doing is I was trying to go slow. I was trying to be receptive to what the children were saying, particularly Miley, and not jump in and take her words out of her mouth. Let them feel what the flower of their idea was, letting it come out of them. And children need to feel that, to know who they are, and to bring who they are into a school. They need to feel respected, and they need to feel grounded in themselves and accepted for who they are, and heard.

I think I would like to say to people who are starting to work with children how important it is that we not close children off with the walls of our assumptions. We leave ourselves open to surprises, because children have so many surprises inside we can learn about it if we're quiet enough to let them come to us with it. And in terms of real practical advice, since children live in their imaginations, anything that people can talk about that's something imaginative is-- Well, instead of interrogating children, one can make it, say, an I statement. And then just see. You can tell by children's body language.

Often, if I say, I really like cats, a child will fall down on all fours and go, mew, mew, mew, and you can tell that child likes cats. Children communicate, really, all different ways and use their bodies so much that if you're sensitive, you can really pick up cues about how to communicate.

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