English ENDING

First Major Writing Assignment

“The relation between officers and men should in no sense be that of superior and inferior nor that of master and servant, but rather that of teacher and scholar. In fact, it should partake of the nature of the relation between father and son, to the extent that officers, especially commanding officers, are responsible for the physical, mental, and moral welfare, as well as the discipline and military training of the young men under their command” (Lejeune, 1929). This very quote is the relationship that is widely spread throughout my chain of command as well as with my senior leaders’ involvement with the Marines who serve under our commanding officer. I can relate to this quote because it is the exact relationship that I shared with my former Staff Noncommissioned Officer (SNCO). The relationship that we shared was like the relationship of a father and son. The reason I feel this way is because he never gave up on me, even when I gave up on myself like the actions of a father or father figure. That SNCO’s name was Staff Sergeant (SSgt) Sanchez. He showed me how to lead the Marines under his charge as well as showing me how to hold others accountable for their actions. Some people may say “well that’s not a father figure”, well I 100% disagree. A father figure can be anyone who genuinely cares about your safety and well-being. SSgt. Sanchez shared that same attitude and love with all his Marines, but I felt he added an extra boost into my life. As a young Lance Corporal of Marines, I tried to stand out in everything that my name was involved in. One day, SSgt Sanchez offered me the opportunity to attend a Marine of the Quarter board and I immediately accepted the offer without hesitation. On the day of the board, I put on my uniform and SSgt Sanchez made a few minor corrections to it. After attending the board and not winning, SSgt still managed to encourage me when I was down and instructed me to keep trying. I eventually won Marine of the Quarter and a few other boards all with the help of SSgt. Sanchez. His commitment, and care for the Marines under his charge led us to winning 80% of the boards he put us on. Without his leadership abilities and genuine care, I would not be the Marine that I am today. SSgt Sanchez led me to believe that a genuine concern and a father figure can come from anywhere, even when its least expecting. His willingness to want the best for us, is the same mindset that I try to instill in the Marines currently under my charge. I can honestly say that I was shaped by a Marine with high standards, love for the Marine Corps, and a little bit of tough love.

Peer and Instructor Feedback

Trevionne Moses (Peer): The writing was straight to the point and didn’t stray too far away from the topic. My overall impression of this piece of writing is that it’s a decent, easy to read paper. The writer’s goal in my opinion is to show the readers that a father figure or mentor can come from anywhere. This writing would fall under the narrative category because it tells more of a story. You could also say it falls under argument as well because he makes a claim and gives a few details, but the paper isn’t strong enough to hold the argument. General audience seems to be the target in this writing simply because it’s on a topic that just about everyone could read and understand and possibly relate to. The fact that the writer says he's a marine instills credibility. Society views military personnel as trustworthy people after all they are putting their lives on the line to protect us all (US citizens). The emotional appeal the writer uses is pathos and he does it by lightly explaining how involved he was with his superior officer and the encouragement he received. I think giving more in depth examples would help appeal to the reader more effectively. Or more facts on how military life is perceived from the outside and show how that through his experience he found that it differs from the outside assumptions. The examples given felt rushed.

Being in the Marine Corps has allowed me to the opportunity to see new things, meet new people and gain knowledge in places that I never thought I would be. In the Marine Corps community, we often find friends from different walks of life, some are black, some are white, some or Hispanic, some are country, some are city people, and some are urban, but we all come together to make one big weird family. From the day we stepped off the bus to begin our boot camp journey, we all began to speak the Marine Corps language without even recognizing it. Upon arrival to boot camp, the little bit of individualism that we entered boot camp with was stripped away and replaced with the instant willingness and obedience to all orders, respect for proper authority, self-reliance and teamwork which is the definition of discipline. On day one of boot camp, we were stripped of our names and given to title recruit. Being in boot camp sharpened my competitive nature by inspiring me to be uninformed with the person to your left and right. It also inspired me to be better than my fellow recruits when it came to the performance of the tasks assigned to us. After thirteen weeks of misery, we had worked hard enough at the crucible to transform from filthy recruits and earn the title of well-respected and trustworthy Marines.

Upon completion of MCT (Marine Combat Training) and being assigned to my first real duty station my personal experiences helped me redevelop my sense of self. There were times when the entire company would come together for accountability and suggest ways that we could improve the unit. It was at that point where language allowed me to express myself on a personal level with the Marines around me. Often when I tried to talk to people who were not Marines, they would call me weird because they could not understand why I said "sir" and "ma'am" after every sentence. Elaborating on my responses became second nature when talking to civilians as well as my friends which allowed them to feel just a little bit more comfortable. Learning that the context of the words you use with others and how you use them could speak volumes; without the slightest bit of effort allowed me to save a few friendships. Keeping long-term relationships with fellow Marines and childhood friends shaped my transition back to a well-rounded person, which ultimately led to me becoming a well-rounded Marine.

Navigating from the language that I use with my Marine Corps friends and family is a lot different from the language at home. Often, I find myself driving around listening to the gospel for about thirty minutes to calm down and to transfer my mind from Sgt. Cotton to Louis. Thinking over what I am about to say several times before I say it has helped a lot with that process. For example, when I am home, I speak in a low, calm tone like "Can you hand me that remote" but with my Marines, I speak in a sort of aggressive nature like "Get the hell off your phone and go work" which usually works 90% of the times. When making minor corrections, I always try to demand of them nothing but the best and 100% effort. While at home, I often find myself getting blown off, but we understand that if a task is supposed to be done, we must work together to get it done. In the Marine Corps we speak to each other in a language that originated from our naval traditions like porthole which means window, deck which means floor, and hatch which means door, to name a few.

Some common misunderstandings of the Marine Corps community are that we are all brainwashed and some people even call us Uncle Sam's Misguided Children. The Marine Corps motto is Semper Fidelis, where we pride ourselves on honor, courage, and commitment. Every aspect of the Marine Corps has a rich history that dates to 1775. We are the presidents very own 911 force in readiness. "Today, the branch's combat operations include amphibious raid and assault, antipiracy work, reconnaissance and surveillance, and recovering hostages or aircraft and personnel. In addition to conducting such work when called, the Marine Corps has ongoing projects worldwide" (Rowell 50). The Marine Corps must always be ready to protect against all enemies both foreign and domestic. We were born to fight and win wars which we have done since our founding. Our esprit de corps has enabled us to protect each other as well as this great nation that we have grown to love. The Marine Corps is a brotherhood/ sisterhood built to have the "6" or back of every Marine that serves. We sometimes fall to our knees, but there is always a brother or sister to lift us to whether it be an officer or an enlisted member.

If I had to do it all over again, I would still choose the Marine Corps because being a part of something bigger than yourself could make all the difference when everything begins to fall apart. The Marine Corps is a different branch of service that lets your inner self glow with the help of friends and family, provides a chance for diversity in the home life, and unique history of battles won regardless of the negative opinions of others. It has enabled me to give a positive example not only for the Marines but for my family as well. Although we were born in different cities and town of the world and come from different walks of life, we still manage to come together to serve one purpose which is to protect our country against its enemies both foreign and domestic. Contrary to popular belief, the Marine Corps is not full of crayon eaters. Instead, it represents servicemen and women who will do whatever it takes to provide an protect their family. Former President Ronald Reagan once said "Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. Marines don't have that problem" (Reagan). Marines are who they are because of the language and culture that they represent.

Louis Cotton

Professor Heather Johnson

EN105

4 May 2019

Revised from the Start

The famous words of Drake "started from the bottom now we here," is a true testament of my writing in EN 105. My writing pieces have gone from little to no structure and organization to average. At the start of this class, I knew that it would be difficult trying to balance military life, provide for my family and go to school at the same time but I knew that I had to find a way to manage my time and responsibilities. I had first to figure out how I would put the thoughts in my head on paper. I still haven't figured out how to make it all make sense, but the idea that I'm learning is motivating. Often, I found myself struggling to find a starting point in my writings and remain on topic when I started. The instructor feedback and peer review helped me advance during the duration of this course.

Once I completed my first major writing assignment on something I knew about, I gained hope. The thought of dropping this class and just giving up on school ran through my mind a lot before that assignment. I am reflecting on my first major writing assignment which turned into my first revision project that had no title and very little MLA format organization. My purpose in that assignment was to describe a relationship I had with an outstanding teacher or mentor. In that piece of work, I was trying to say that a father figure can come from anywhere, even when you're least expecting it. After reading over my piece of writing and getting some peer review from my fellow students, I could see in my initial draft where it lacked personal examples that could help me appeal to the pathos aspect in my writing. It was at that point where I came up with the title Father Sanchez. Feedback from peer reviews and instructor comments, helped me utilize different tools to make my writing better.

Utilizing the writing journals and discussions have allowed me to learn and identify different writing styles and make connections that weave texts together. Doing this helped me develop a deeper understanding of writing as a college student. I did not read at all on the outside of high school that much before this class. Being in the Marine Corps has given me so many opportunities to advance and gain more responsibility, which came with reading and understanding orders. I guess you can say that I have learned to read with a pen. Underlining critical parts of the texts allowed me to connect my inner thoughts and eventually put them on the paper creating policy letters and mastering the concept of writing with a purpose.

Writing, in general, has always been one of my weaknesses; it was challenging to take the initial step past the high school way of writing. Being able to make that transition was essential because it gave me the necessary tools required to sustain a logical argument in an organized manner. My writing has become concise, and I no longer put things in a crazy order with very little organization. Another improvement is my ability to point out many complexities within a text instead of sticking to one-sided arguments in my papers. Furthermore, learning how to use my peer review and instructor feedback has led to better articles with credible references.

As a student in this English class, I have learned how powerful the written word and language can be. Words tell so much more than just a story. Stories tell about life and the human condition that reflect on the past and present cultures. Literature teaches about a world of changes. From this class, I have learned about the world and how it reacts to the changes made for its people. By writing about what we learn enables us to be able to express ourselves on a whole other level.

There are a couple of things that I do feel I lack the confidence and skill to perform and that is what I hope to gain from participating in future peer reviews. At the start of this class, I didn't know how to share my knowledge with other students who possibly had no idea what I was talking about or the point I was trying to make. Learning to understand and balance my life and school enabled me to learn how to write various styles of papers in different forms. At this point in the class, I feel confident that I could write an article about almost anything and know how to cite and format it correctly.

Works Cited