Esssay

Smarthinking Tutor Response Form

Your tutor has written overview comments about your essay in the form below. Your tutor has also embedded comments [in bold and in brackets] within your essay. Thank you for choosing Smarthinking to help you improve your writing!

Hello, Susana! My name is Michael R,. I look forward to working with you on this Essay Center Review to improve your writing today. Let's get started!

*Writing Strength:  Thank you for submitting your essay. The conclusion of your draft summarizes the similarities that both sonnets have. For example:             "The two sonnets have glaring similarities. Their themes are centered on racism and oppression. The authors of the two poems seem to               employ similar poetic techniques such the use of metaphor to convey certain messages. This is very good, because it reminds the reader on hoe your daft is structured and on also why you chose to compare the two drafts.

*Susana 12571602, you requested help with Introduction/Conclusion:   The introduction of your draft does not yet provide back information that explains your heading. It is very good that your draft includes a background information, but the reader will also want to understand, why you chose to compare the sonnets, and such information has to be explained in your introduction. For example you wrote:             "Harlem Renaissance refers to an era of musical, fictional, and cultural explosion that commenced in New York’s Black society in 1930s." This is good, but your introduction can benefit by further explain that topics that are in comparison, for this will help the reader better understand why you chose to compare the topics. Provide brief information about the two writers and also what their poems are about, this will grab the attention of the reader and prepare the reader for your body paragraph.             " For example The film Sherlock Holmes , is similar with the film 007 James Bond. Sherlock Holmes is an investigator, who is on the                             look out for criminals that are practicing criminal activities so as James Bond, an intellect who know how to catch criminals using his spy                 techniques." Using this example, you are providing brief information that prepares the reader for you body paragraph by explaining the the two topics that you will be comparing.                   *Susana 12571602, you requested help with Organization:   I have to compliment your draft, in that it is very solid, but the last paragraph of your draft  does not provide sufficient supporting information that explains how techniques applied in your sonnet compliment "the dark tower"  in repetition and alliteration. You have to provide supporting information in your body paragraph to explain your analysis of your comparison to your reader. For the reader to engaged you have to further explain the techniques mentioned in your draft. For example you wrote:              “If We Must Die”. They include; metaphors, repetitions and alliteration.  For instance, the author employs metaphor to describe the tyrants                 who threaten the community of minorities that He addresses. He refers to them as “wild and ravenous dogs” in line three." This sentence can benefit from also explain the repetition of the sonnet and alliteration to, help the reader better understand you draft better. For example:              " The movie includes a conflict and imaginary. The director refers to the conflict by see Mrs Jone and Mr Jone quarrel over the affair that Mr                Jones had with Mrs Barn. Imaginary of the film occurs when Mr Jones is seen walking in to Mr Barns home every day after he leaves for                work, and this creates suspicion in Mrs Jones mind. this examples explains how imaginary and conflict fit and compliment the film.

Main Idea/Thesis  The introduction of your essay does not yet  provide a thesis that explains what you will discussing in "If I die by Claude MckKay" and  "From the dark tower by Countee Cullen". Before you you get to explain your comparison in your body paragraph, you thesis has to provide explanation that indicates, what you will be discussing in your body paragraph. The reader must understand what is the book about If I die and also what does the dark tower discuss? Your thesis has to answer this questions. For example you wrote:          "This paper compare two sonnets from Harlem Renaissance; If We Must Die’ by Claude McKay and From the Dark Tower’ by Countee Cullen" This thesis can benefit by further explaining the two sonnets, on what makes them similar, and also what you will be comparing in both sonnets. By providing this information you will help the reader better understand your draft. For example we can say:          " The paper will compare two super hero movies in spider man, the man who is protecting the city against the villain Goblet  and and super             man, the man who is using his super human powers to to stop crime. This example, provides an explanation that explains what the body paragraphs will discussing, by adding this information you will prepare the reader for your body paragraph. Summary of Next Steps: 

· Provide brief information that explains the topic you will be comparing.  

· Provide supporting information that explains your sonnet.  

· Explain your thesis further  to prepare the reader for your body paragraph.

Thank you for submitting your essay for a review. I enjoyed helping you with this step in the revision process. Have a good day! Michael R

You can find more information about writing, grammar, and usage in the Smarthinking Writer's Handbook .

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Please look for comments [in bold and in brackets] in your essay below. Thank you for submitting your work to Smarthinking! We hope to see you again soon.

Perez 1

 

Susana B. Perez

Professors Kennedy-Everett

LIT 2000

October 26, 2021

 

Comparison: If We Must Die’ by Claude McKay and From the Dark Tower’ by Countee Cullen

Introduction  [Which two topic or poems are you comparing? Your introduction has to provide information that explains that two poems that you will analyzing and comparing , to prepare the reader for your thesis.]

Harlem Renaissance refers to an era of musical, fictional, and cultural explosion that commenced in New York’s Black society in 1930s. This association was crucial to inspiring a general awareness of the Africa America identity and aesthetics as novelists, visual artists, and musicians voiced novel modes of people of color experience and experimented with creative forms, contemporary’s methods, and folk beliefs. Harlem Renaissance singers and advocates also shaped Caribbean Négritude and Negrismo besides laying a groundwork for forthcoming Black Arts champs like Sonia Sanchez and Baraka. Writing personalities of the Harlem Renaissance include Claude McKay, Claude McKay, Zora Neale Hurston Langston Hughes, Arna Bontemps, Countee Cullen, among. Some of the important periodicals included magazines Crisis and Elizabeth Alexander’s more recent antique editorial “The Black Poet as Canon-Maker”. This paper compare two sonnets from Harlem Renaissance; If We Must Die’ by Claude McKay and From the Dark Tower’ by Countee Cullen.[ What are the both poems about? This information has to be further explained to prepare  the reader for your body paragraph. You have to include information that explains what both sonnets will be discussing to help the reader better understand your draft.]

Theme

If We Must Die’ by Claude McKay is an exciting sonnet addressed to the Africa-American community championing for the bravery and zeal to overcome subjugation. The sonnet commences with the author speaking his “kinspersons,” informing them that are supposed to shun the destiny of hogs. They don’t wish to spend the limited time they have in a cage, waiting to be butchered. This allegory is an intricate one; nevertheless it refers to subjugation, control and prejudice. The author of the sonnet is seeking for ways to counter attack or defeat this destiny. He himself and other black people he is addressing will not permit this oppression to continue. On the contrary, they will dissent the antique and current ethnic and social inequalities and stand up for what it’s desirable for the black community (Fisher, 25-52). Similar to the sonnet If We Must Die’ by Claude McKay, “From the Dark Tower” sonnet, the poet engages with themes of racism and oppression. The piece takes the reader into the mind of a Black speaker who is defining what the world is like now for his community and how it’s going to revolutionize in the future (Sheehan et al., 114-156). They aren’t always going to be treated the way they are. Eventually, things are going to change, and they won’t suffer. “Not always” is repeated several times throughout the poem, further emphasizing how change is coming. He has an optimistic outlook that is embodied through his nature metaphor

Structure and Form

‘If We Must Die’ is a fourteen-line poem that is structured a way that is almost identical with the author’s name. This sonnet comprises three verses, or collections of four lines, and one ending couplet or group two rhyming lines. ‘If We Must Die’ sonnet. The sonnet follows a regular rhyme arrangement that match up to the pattern of ABAB CDCD EFEF GG and it is inscribed in dactylic hexameter. This implies that every line encompasses five groups of two beats, referred to as metrical feet. The initial line is unstressed while the following line second stressed. It sounds like da-DUM, da-DUM (Fisher, 25-52). ‘From the Dark Tower’ by Countee Cullen is a fourteen-line Petrarchan poem. This implies that the first half of the poem follows a rhyme of ABBAABBA. The second half, which in a Petrarchan sonnet can take numerous forms, rhymes CCDDEE. The other element in this sonnet is the utilization of turn or Volta (Sheehan et al., 114-156). It occurs between the first and second half. Like most Petrarchan sonnets, this one is written in dactylic hexameter. This implies that each line of the poem mostly comprises of five sets of two beats.

McKay employs many poetic methods in the sonnet “If We Must Die”. They include; metaphors, repetitions and alliteration.  For instance, the author employs metaphor to describe the tyrants who threaten the community of minorities that He addresses. He refers to them as “wild and ravenous dogs” in line three. The author utilizes the metaphor to suggest that the oppressors are a group of angry and violent individuals. It also implies that they have no humanity in them and devolve into violent, deranged animals (Fisher, 25-52). “From the Dark Tower” Sonnet author also employs similar poetic techniques seen in Claude McKay “If we must Die”. Cullen uses the metaphor dark tower” to showcase the struggled faced by Black communities in America. [Which other techniques are applied in both sonnets? You mentioned that the techniques  include metaphor, repetition and alliteration. These kinds of techniques can be further explained explained also, so that the reader may understand how the techniques were applied in your sonnet."] 

Conclusion

The two sonnets have glaring similarities. Their themes are centered on racism and oppression. The authors of the two poems seem to employ similar poetic techniques such the use of metaphor to convey certain messages. The two are Petrarchan sonnet, which implies that their divided into parts, the first art is an eight-line octave and the second one is a six-line sestet. The rhyme of the two poems differs a little bit but seems to follow a similar pattern.

 

 

 

 

 

Work Cited

Fisher, Jane Elizabeth. "African American World War I Soldiers, Claude McKay, and the Harlem Renaissance." Afro-Americans in New York Life and History 41.1 (2020): 25-52.

Sheehan, Elizabeth, and Elizabeth M. Sheehan. "3. “THIS GREAT WORK OF THE CREATION OF BEAUTY”." Modernism à la Mode. Cornell University Press, 2018. 114-156.