writting

1

 

Tutor Response Form

Your tutor has written overview comments about your essay in the form below. Your tutor has also embedded comments [in bold and in brackets] within your essay. Thank you for choosing Smarthinking to help you improve your writing!

Hello! My name is , and I look forward to working with you on this Essay Center Review to improve your writing today. Let's get started!

*Writing Strength:  You have developed a detailed abstract section that effectively expresses how your argumentative essay unfolds. 

, you requested help with Grammar & Mechanics:   , I noticed a few fragments in your essay. This tends to happen when a phrase is confused for a complete sentence. For example: "Environmental issue. It touches the electricity request regarding temperature and humidity at every turn of the periods with various demographic features". The first part of this example is a phrase rather than a complete sentence. The period interrupts the ideas of these sentences. If you read the fragment alone, you can see that it cannot stand on its own. One way to fix this fragment is by joining the sentences together to make it understandable to the reader. For example: "The environmental issue touches the electricity request regarding temperature and humidity at every turn of the periods with various demographic features". This will allow ideas to flow smoothly within your paragraph. Now, find and fix other fragments in your essay, 

you requested help with Introduction/Conclusion:   Next, you could improve your introduction by providing more details about the state of South Florida's and its energy sources. This is an argumentative essay,, and the introduction paragraph should survey the problem identified. A good introduction in an argumentative essay includes the issue at hand, background details, and main argument–all in a logical, intellectual, and persuasive way.  You have mentioned, "Away from it, South Florida is recognized for its energy resources".  Consider bringing up some of these energy resources in your introduction. Your abstract speaks about the three most necessary energy resources alternatives, but you have not mentioned this in your introduction. Consider adding this detail to your introduction so your readers understand the "main argument" of your essay.   Main Idea/Thesis  The introduction does not yet include a thesis statement that clearly states your opinion,. Before the body paragraphs, readers will want to know where you stand in this argument. Your thesis statement could answer this question. For example, the introduction of a similar essay could include the following thesis statement: "Federal immigration enforcement law needs to be overhauled because it puts undue constraints on state and local police". An argumentative thesis takes a position, asserting the writer's stance. Use this example as guide to develop a suitable thesis statement for your argumentative essay,.  Summary of Next Steps: 

· Find and fix fragments  

· Add more details to your introduction.   

· Develop a thesis statement. 

Thank you for submitting your essay for a review,. I enjoyed helping you with this step in the revision process. Have a good day!~ 

You can find more information about writing, grammar, and usage in the Smarthinking Writer's Handbook .

_________________________________________________________________________________

Please look for comments [in bold and in brackets] in your essay below. Thank you for submitting your work to Smarthinking! We hope to see you again soon.

 

 

 

 

 

Research Alternative Energy Resources

 

 

 

 

 

Abstract

The researcher's goal is to present the three South Florida best substitute energy properties. The state is identified as a state with energy possessions like natural gas, petroleum, solar, coal, and oil. The argument being emphasized reflects the state's role and its duties to deliver a commercial-wise result for their rising society by endorsing the three most necessary energy resources alternatives. The argument was drawn off by computing the cons and pros of the presented substitutes. Over-analysis, further reserves were expounded as to how the state facilitates its production and usage. Concentrating on sustainability, the researcher describes the present condition of the state and its problems with both non-conventional and conventional energy that the state is manufacturing. The study includes ecological issues, energy tariff factors, and demographic factors. Counter arguments are existing through environmental impact, availability, affordability, and safety. Through these ideas, the conclusion is articulated.

Keywords: Resources, oil, coal, environmental impact, electricity, energy

 

 

 

 

 

The state of South Florida is where tourists love to visit because of its summer attractions. Away from it, South Florida is recognized for its energy resources. Though, since the state is mainly rural, it became inhabited. Conferring to a new study, though this state incline produces energy on natural gas, it uses much due to air conditioning and tourism requests.

Though, it is specified in the study that the supposed state was comprised in a low-status form in consumption of energy. It was also determined that the motive for this little rank is owing to its big populace. The scientist researched Alternative Energy Resources to address this issue, which may assist execute likely answers for the South Florida community. Social accountability and a commitment for the society to defend their natural resources and welfare by indorsing wanted substitute resources to deliver economic-wise answers for their increasing public. [, this sentence has a spelling error. It is useful to proofread your work out loud to avoid minor spelling errors]

An analysis published by Energy Information Administration (EIA) appealed that this state is second to the central electricity manufacturer in USA Florida's natural gas generation in 2018 hit 70%. Its capability to make natural gas-fired possessions directed them to be one of the state's major power plants. It is also imitated in the same statement by EIA that power plants that use petroleum-fired resources delivered less than 1%. Though it stays an essential basis for it still serves as a backup fuel. Natural gas-fired powerplants use petroleum fuels upon disturbances of natural gas supply for natural gas in many cases. [The plural noun "power plants" should be written as two separate words] 

The number of this study compared the impression of spent energy against the populace. The state being next to the significant electricity-producing state should retain its eye on society's rising need. Another issue for it is the enlarging populaces that requires to be taken care of. The state to regulate causes and root grounds of energy loss might directly address this research weakness, viability, and strength. The state is recognized for its resources like renewable energy, petroleum, coal, and natural gas. Numerous companies run electric utilities, according to Florida System Consortium. These firms are primarily stakeholders-possessed. This impression may be a threat to the state's resources. [This is a good place to add more detail. Can you elaborate on how exactly this impression may be a threat,? Consider providing an example to support this statement]

The demand for electricity rests on the following main issues:

Environmental issue. It touches the electricity request regarding temperature and humidity at every turn of the periods with various demographic features. There is a better electricity request with a growing state populace. Energy tariff issue. This energy strategy touches the electricity use amongst distinct kinds of customers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

References

Infobase, & Sunburst Visual Media (Firm). (2015). Alternative Energy Sources. https://fod.infobase.com/PortalPlaylists.aspx?xtid=71870 .

Jun Cheng, Ping Wang, & Qiandong Guo. (January 01, 2016). Measuring Beach Profiles along a Low-Wave Energy Microtidal Coast, West-Central Florida, USA. Geosciences, 6, 4.) https://www.mdpi.com/2076-3263/6/4/44

Ozkan, C., & Mayo, T. (January 01, 2019). The renewable wave energy resource in coastal regions of the Florida peninsula. Renewable Energy, 139, 530-537. https://ideas.repec.org/a/eee/renene/v139y2019icp530-537.html

Wang, K., Li, Y., Wang, X., Zhao, Z., Yang, N., Yu, S., Wang, Y., ... Yu, T. (May 07, 2021). Full Life Cycle Management of Power System Integrated With Renewable Energy: Concepts, Developments and Perspectives. Frontiers in Energy Research, 9. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0960148119302447