Troubleshooting Your Sentences
The tips given below will help you identify symptoms of structural problems in your sentences, either with clauses, phrases, or a combination.
1. Sentences are longer than three lines.
2. Sentences are longer than 25 words.
3. Paragraphs look long and “dense.”
4. The main point of the sentence is buried in a clause or series of phrases, usually at the end of the sentence.
5. The sentence contains a string of at least three consecutive phrases.
6. The sentences contains a phrase or series of phrases longer than one line.
7. The subject and predicate are separated by a long phrase or clause.
8. The sentence clearly needs commas, but you can’t decide where to put them.
Suggestions for Writing Better Sentences
1. Subject/Verb and main parts of sentence. Locate the main parts of the sentence: subject, predicate, and object or complement.
Ask yourself the following questions.
Are the subject and predicate as exact and powerful as you can make them?
Does the sentence start with the subject and predicate?
If the answer is “no”: Are there too many phrases and clauses before you get to the subject?
Do the most important ideas in the sentence occur at the beginning of the sentence as the subject, predicate, or object? If the most important points are somewhere else in the sentence, consider editing the sentence so the most important information appears early in the sentence.
Is the subject clear, or is it buried in the middle of many clauses and phrases? Can you make the subject clearer?
Are there too many words between the subject and predicate?
Is the predicate in the right voice for your sentence (active or passive)? In the right tense (past, present, future, perfect)? In the right person (first, second, third)?
Do your subject and predicate agree?
Is the verb of your predicate as strong and clear as possible?
2. The Rest of the sentence. Look at the other parts of the sentence.
Is each word, clause, or phrase located next to the word it modifies?
Does every part of the sentence contribute to the overall meaning of the sentence?
Do all the parallel parts (those in lists or connected with coordinating conjunctions) use the same structure (for example, all action verbs, all nouns, all beginning with prepositions, etc.)?
3. General things to look for. Here are some other questions to consider.
Is the language conversational but professional?
Does the document rely on plain language and familiar words?
Can you substitute one word for a phrase or clause?
Are all statements positive (rather than negative)?
Are there any examples of business jargon that you should edit or eliminate?
Is every sentence written so it is bias-free?
4. Now look at how each sentence builds on previous sentences and leads to the next idea.
Does each sentence follow logically from the previous sentence?
Is the connection between sentences clear?