p2

ThinkingW ell

Tlæ índßpensa.ble characteristic

af a good úríter is a. stule m

ørkedby hLctditg.

-'E m

est H em

ingu'a¡

A nd hou, is claritg ta be achieaed? M

ainlg bg taking trau- ble:ond bq u ritilteta în)pp:!!|. ratl.ertlnn tô ¡ñprc:: them

-F.L. Lucas

p ach profession. it rrould seem

, has its os'n shle of thoughi that m ust

.lj be m

astered before a person feels at hom e in it. The lar¡, certainlv

does. S o does architecture. A

nd so. too, $'ith engineering, accounting- cou.ìpute¡ progrâm

m ing, film

directing, psvcholog¡ carpentr\.-vou nam

e it, thel'all have a stvle of thought related to the nature ofthe pro fession. It stands to reason that u'riting rvould have its ou'n, too À

ncl it does.\\¡hat a now

ice needs m ore than anlthing, then, is to plug inio the

brain of an erperienced u'riter-to understand the assum ptions

sìre g.pi- callv m

akes, the silent m onologue that is occup¡.ing her head as she com

- poses, the special effects she is trving to achieve .

. \V ithor.rt that ,quiding

instinct, $.riting w ill rem

ain all hit-o¡-m iss-a frustratìng repetitiori of tdal

and error over and over again.

3

4 Fr¡da¡¡*t¡tals

. A ìeeinning chess plaler- fâces rnâny of the sam

e probler.rs. L.rcì.-ÍrLg a¡rv kjni ¡rf ''chess serse," as plavers call it. he sits beü,jlãered at the bo¿Lr dl rror,irg fìr'st ir parvrì, therì a bishop- tllen-w

hv not?-his queen, all at ran- cÌorr. hoping thai sonething good riill com

e ol it but kno\vlng th¿t if it <locs. ji w

¡ll be a nrele pìece of luck H e has no idea ìrol seasonèd plave:-s

ihjrl¡ ¿t ihe bo¿r'd. E \en sìtting across froin them

. he cannot fathor¡,vhat lhc.r'r'e trlìtrg to irccorlplish rrìth a particula¡ m

ove. u.hat blunclers thev're h-lìrig io avoid. l,hat altem

aLe ganìe strategies thel.m ight be consiclcrìng.

H , ':.,, ,. rt,r, ìr .Ll,nreci¿te rl,c efrcr', hu. thc actu¡.1 thougì,t !ro.eç\ i,

a Ù l\ stcn'.

Linfoi.trrnatell. the glandtlasiers have m ade it far easier for:Ì nor,ice

to acquire citess selise th¿rn authors have m ade it for hirn to acquire its lit

eran eciuir:iìelt. Thev\'e pubìished book after book explairiug ho,,r. to thiuli chcss-rr hat opening gam

bits to consìdet-. u'hai counterattacks lvo¡k u ell. rr hat cnclgàrne tactics to use. A

utho¡s of rvriting texts. on ihe other hand. tei¡d to stress nechanics, per-hàps assum

ing tlìat people either knor,, lÌo\r to thiûk ol thev donl.

I ìrope lo lepair ih¿t negleci. lvly chief aim . both in this chapier and

Lliloughout tlie book, is to help vor derelop lrriter's sense." Y .,u'll find Ít

as inclispc-nsabìe as raclar to a piloi. I'll begin b¡.-erplaining hor.r'a nor,ìce

,.r'r'itc,r tipicalll, thìitks so that r.dien I m ove on to explain hou,-the veter-an

thirks. I'ou'll have a m o¡e rir.id sense of the contrast.

The N orice

\fost of the novice s difficulties start $,ith the sim ple lact tliat the

paper-he \v tes orì is m ute. B

ecause ít never talks back to hiur. and be- cause het concentr ating so hard on gener-ating ideas. he readily forgets- unìike ihe r.eteran-that another hum

an being w ill eventuall,v be trying to

nrirke serrse ofw hat he's saring. The restli? H

is natural tendency as a aríter ís t o th

i nk p ri nnrily of hinuelf-Ìrcn ce to ui'ite p rim trrily for him

sel;f . H ere.

in a lrutsl.iell. lies the ultim ate ¡eason fo¡ r¡ost bad r'"'ritilg."

Ile isr't au,a¡e of liis egocentrism , oi course. but all the s,v-rlptor.ns

of his root problenr are the¡e: he ihinks through an idea onlv until it is

i,

Thìnkiflg\V all 5

pa-ssabll' clear to him - since, for his purposes. it need¡i t be

¿111_1, ¡]ç.1.1-¡- r,,, dispenses u.ith transiLions because iiì eìough that /¿c krrorrs liotr lris iclc.¿s conne_ct; he. uses a private svstem

-or nJ sl.sterl-of punciuàtion: lìe doesn't t¡ouble to define his term

s beca,ls. 1.,å understanàs per-fecth, sr:ìì

làat he m eans b¡' tliem

; lìe utjtes pàge after page w rtl.iout botircrug to r.ur

his sentence structure; he leaves Jff!"g" ,,rr-b"r, ^n,l foot,.,ot"r, ä" 1rnr"- graphs only ri'hen the m

oocl st¡ikes hirn; he ends abruptlv ru*ierr he, cleci<ìes he's had enough; he neglects to proofread the lind 1ãb because tire \u ir_ ing is over .

. C iven his total self-orientation, iii no u,onder ihat he faiis

repeatedlv as a rvriter. Ä ctuall1,, þ6 5 not u,riting at allr he's m

ereh, cou- m

uning privatelv ..\,i th hirrself-that is, heì silpl1,. putting thought, .Ìor. l

on P aP

er. I caÌl this "unconscious rriting." The unconscious q,¡iter is like a per_

son.t'ho_turns àis chair arvav fi-om his listene¡ m

rLrirbles at length tci the r¡'all, and then heads for horre w

jthout a bachvard glance. B

asicalll', all it takes to begin noving fi-om unconscious ruiting to

genuine w riting is a fe$'¡¡qm

s¡1¡5' reflection on rvhat tìre u,riting,/rerJing process ideaì\' invoives. Think aboui it. \l-hat it invoh.es is orù ¡rcrsol earnestl)¡ attem

pting to com rïunicate r.,,ith another-. Inpiicitll; tìren- it in-

'olres 'he reader¡s rnuch as thc \,\ ritÊ r, sinLclh¿ su"ro,. íti,, .utttttuttr)

colion,leprnds sololy on lrcu tl¡, roaclr r rc¡-pi¿es j/. j\15t.', ,jn, " ,nor" il. ,, one person is involved, and since all ofus have feelings, ít has ta l:e o.s sul:¡ ject to thc basic rules of good m

anners as any other huttw n ròla!íouhip . Tlte

u'riter w ho is fuih' av'are of these im

plicâtions-the conscious w riter.-re-

sem bles a person u4ro conpanionably faces he¡ listener and h ies her ler.el

best to com m

unicate \¡rith him , even persuade and cha¡m

hiur ir.i the process. and .vho eventuallv bids l.iin the equivalent of a genial farel,ell.

The big breakthrough for the nor,ice rvrite¡ then, rrill occur at the m

om ent he begins to com

prehend the social inplications of l l.rat l.iels doing. Far from

r.vriting in a vacuum . he is conversing, in a ven, ¡eal sense.

w ith another hum

an being. just as I am conversing right norv rvith vou.

er,en though that person-like you-m av be hours, or davs. oL everi leaLs

ava)- in tim e. This breakthrough parallels an infant's da$,nins realization

that a u'orld eústs be_vond him self.

A ctuallr', since the novice is as m

uch a self-oriented rìe\\:coller to his social rvorld as the infant is to his, r¡'e m

ight suspect that Lhe sil.rilar-.i tv doesn'i end there. A

nd rve're right. B oth of them

pass through a qrad- ual process of socialization and deepening a\¡,areness. The rir;tei. lor exam

ple, after realizing tlìat a rvorld-a reader-exists out there bevold

" l)aul B urk¡.. ¡r \¿ironal lfagazine .Ä

rra¡d uìnning journalisi ancl erecuii\-e edjtor oi Trtis )Íoitthh¡. told one of ¡lv classes, 'Tìre hardest thing a \\'riter h¿s to do is cùr.b his selî ìrrìuìgence.'

6 Fundnntzntak

irim self, sloulv com

es to del'elop, first. an asareness ol him self froni the

reader's vantage p oi_\t (o_bjecti1ity); next. a capacit) to put him self inagi-

nativelv in the m ind of the reaàer (ernpathq): and hnaúv an appreciation

of the reader'.s rights and feehngs (courtesy). you can ,ã" th"i ih" _.',urr,.rg t'riter is essentia-ll)- retracing. in a ne$, context, the sam

e psy,.chic .¡our nei he t¡aveled as a chil<l. E

.,en the net result is cor.r.iparable. H âr,ing passed the

ì;r-st stage olcourtesl' as a child. he achieved the m ark of a tn.riv ciuìlized pe¡-

son: social seûsitivih,. \\4ren he passes the sam e stage as a r.,riie¡ he achièr,es

the r.nark of a trulv civilized author: a ¡eadable stf,le.

The V eteran

The tbinkìng process of a skilled w rite¡ ¡eflects hoç, she conceives the

w nting situation. Let's staft, then, bv developing a realistic understandilg

ofnhat that situation inrolves. _ A

ll u-riting is com n.iunication. B

ut m ost $,riting hopes lo go further-.

It hopes to m ake the reader react in certain rva1,s-uitL pleased sm

iles. nods of assent, stabs of pathos, or rvhateve¡.

_ S o- \'e can sal', generallv, thaT urítittg is tlte at1 of creatíng de-

sí red eîects. N

o¡r, fo¡an essay \\,riter, the chiefdesired eflect is persuasion. S up-

pose )ou are that r¡ryiter. Y ou l'ant _vour reade¡s to buv hvo things: r,our

ideas and vou, their source. That ís, you w ânt them

to r.ierv vour ideas as sound and interesting, and to vierv vou as sm

ai, inform ed, dir ect, aud com

panionable. (A lì ofthese things, ofcourse, are desi¡ed effects.) Ifyou don't

persuade thern to accept vou, itì doubtful that you'll persuade them to

buv the icìeas vou re proffering. \\'e bu;,.' from people u,e like and trust-

iti hum an nature.

The big question, then, is hou'to u{n readers? H ere a¡e fou¡ essentials:

L H â\'e som

ething to sar, that's g,orth tìiei¡ attentìon. 2. B

e sold on its r'¡.liditv and im portance I'ourselfso ¡ou can pitch it $ith coÍt-

\,ictiorì. 3. Furnish strong argum

ents that are u'ell supported u,ith concrete proof. 4. LÌse coÌlfident language-vigorous verbs, strong nouns, and asseltive

nh ra¡inø

\\¡liile tl.iat looks like a pretfr lull recìpe for successful s'riting, ii isn't. E

ven if u'e exclude sheer artfulness. one thing is stiìl m issìng-anã dm

ost

Þ }

Il¡i',Lrn- \ì:/I

ahvays is. The ultim ate rva,v u,e s,in readers is bv coufieously seruing tirclt-

that is, satis$,fig låèù néeds. A .ù exþerienòed w

riter L:norvs ùiat to årre ri.eli is to sell rvell: equalþ to sell u,ell is to sen e \\ ell. The). are cornpìerrrentar-r .cri\ities. The r¡cans arc inseparabÌe from

tl,c ends. The w

-riier, for all practical purposes, does not exist rvithout the ¿s- sent of l.iis readers, w

-ho have the pou,er io shui hLm off at rvhirn. Tliis fãci

oflife rrakes pleasing thenr absolutely critical. B ut ti.rati onlv lai¡. lf u,e'¡e

going to ask them to gi\.€ us iheir tiÛ

re and attention, then u,e,¡e ir.r l/¿clr debt, not the other rvay around; rve m

ust be prepared to repa! tlleir kind- ness w

ith hndness of our orvn. B evond pleasing them

sim pl,u to square

debts and keep them reading, though, there's "lso th. practì"d necessih,

ofpleasing them in order to persuade them

. S ar¡uel liutler long ago re-

m a¡ked- '1{.¡e are not w

on bv argurnents that w e can analrze. bui bv tone

and tem pe¡ by the m

anne¡ u,"hich is the m an him

self." I don't rvhel]y ¿*r"" $,ith that, but it's certainl;, close to the truth. A

pleasing r,,"nn". ,uì."I_u nakes one s argum

ents them selr.es seen pleasing becauså it dresses them

in an au¡a of reasonableness. A

ll ofus, I think. grasp these facts of life perfectlv r'.,ell as readers. but m

ost of us m anage to forget them

as w riters. B

eing unconsciouslv self- oriented, w

e tliink it's enough sim ply to la¡, out our ide,as. E

rperience keeps disproving us, tlìough. R

eaders w ill al..va1,s insist on having their neeãs

looked after, as thev have every right to, and ifrve're heedÌess, tl.rer,'ll sav E

nough ol;ou" and toss our piêcê aside -

H ou', then, do you serue your readel ? Fì¡st, vou m

ust cultivate a psr- chological sense. That is, vou n.iust sensitize you¡self to rvhat rvirrs l¿lr ouer-hor.r' and rvhy yoz respond, and rvhat m

akes yo¿¿ feel t'ell sen,ecl- and graduallv learri to extend that au'areness to _vour reade¡. This book, in cidentall;,, is as good a place as any to start sensiiizing

,, ourself. A s r ou ¡ead

along, you ought to be asking vourself such questions as these: "Is his shlc-

too com plex to be readable, or too plain. or is it just rigl.rt-and rvhv?

"\V hat is his tone, and hor"- does he achieve it? D

o I like it or don't I?" 'X

{'hy does he use a sem icoion here instead ofa period?' "D

o I like tl.iis t¡r,c> sentence paragraph?" "\4¡hat effect do his contractions have on m

e?" A rvriter eager to im

prove his psvchological sense never sim ply reads: he

reads criticalfv'. H is m

ind is ia-lu'ays alert to the m ¿nr'¿¿r as rl'-ell as the m

es- sage, for onþ ín this s'a)' r¡'ill he learn g'hat rvorks and rvhv it r','orks- plus w

hat doesn't rvork and u'h;' it doesn't. H e's like one m

usiciau listening to the chc¡¡ds and phrasing of another \\¡hat's special he'Il im

itate and m alie

his or"'n.

6 î1rt¿aikl1ial\

O rice vou àcquire the habit of reading attentiveh, ;'ou'll find that

I'our psvcìrolo"ical sense .i'ill ir.r.rpr ove shar-plr'- and w ith it ¡,our tactical

sense. too. This w ill l.rave an inrnecliate irrpâct not onl-v on the effective-

ness ofvc¡ul u,¡iting but on )our attitude tou,ard it as ivell. Y ou'll discove¡

vourself beginling to relish rt âs a supreÌne challenge to ;our poi.vers of salesniansliip. A

l the sam e tir¡e. vou'ÌÌ find vourself becom

ing increasíng- ìr' consider-atc. \'orlr leac]ers' needs. not vou¡ otrr. u'ill dom

inate vour thínk- ing. A

nd lt..,il1 give you pleasure; vou'líquickl¡, learn to enjoy tíre sense of cornnrunior¡. the fellori-feeliug it b¡ings, for as in a f¡iendship. 1'ou'll be in \'¿ìrm

, in'l¿ginatì\e iorrch r¡'ith other hum an beings.

¡.ll of this br ings m e to the second prim

e u'a-v of senjng )our read- ers: scirooling i'ourself to^þg_orhe¡ oriented. Y

ou tr-1 to unde¡stand vou¡ Ieacle¡s. Ìbu ¿ctivell' thirk of them

, identify, ['ìtli them . em

pathize i.vith then.r. fbu tr-r. to intuit their needs. \bu t¡ain ¡'ourself to think alrva-vs of ¿y'¿¿lr convenience, noi 1.oui-or.rn. Y

ou treat thern exactlv as you u'ould r.r.ish to be tre¿ted. rvith genuine consideration for their feelings. A

nd vou keep renrrrrding vorrrself. o..e¡ arrd over. ihtt good uritíng

Ls good nanlers. Ther-c alc fir e specific rva-vs r ou can sen e \ our readers needs. P

lease ¿dd them

to ilìe hsL of four essentiais that I gave -vou a m inute ago; and as

1'ou read then. note hos, thev appl,v to convet sation as u'ell as to $Titing:

l. P hrase ¡.our thoughts clearl¡, so yodle easv to follou'

2. S peak to the poirt so r,ou <ìon't w

asLe ¡eade¡s'tl¡e. ç!

T

3. À nticipate tÌleÍr leactions {borecìom

, coûlìrsion. îatigue. irritation) l. O

fler then¡ r,arie+' ancl rvit to lìghten their \r'o¡k. 5. T¿lk to ihe¡n in a rr,àrrrl. open m

anner insiead of pontificating io them like

a knou.rt-all

Å lthough I ll be lollorving up on all these points in later chapters. I'd

ìike to expand here on #fthe-. neeèfor'clarit¡; and #3, the need to antici- pate lour readers'responses. This \\ill gire nie a chance to expÌaìn m

ore concreteLr the assurnptions and actual tbought p¡ocesses of a skillecl u'rite¡

P hrase lbur Thoughts C

learl,v

A plose stlle m

av be eloquent, lyrical, r'it\', rhlthm ical, and fresh as

\{ontar.rri air, but ifit lacks clarjtv'. fer'r'reade¡s irill sta-v t-ith it for long. Jusi as no one enjo,r''s looking at a.ujeu', hou'erer spectacular, through a m

ud- strcaked w

inclorr'. ro one eujovs listeninq io a s-vm phonv ofu'ords reduced

lô ììer-e !roise.

IÀ 1nk;ìF \I-i'//

I

H en.ringl,a,v r¡'as ¡ightr clarit-v ls the indispensable chalacter istic of

good prose. Iiì the filst thing a leader derr.iands, and perlraps the har clesl thing to deliver. N

ot onh-m ust the individual tl.roughts be clear: brrt. even

m orã challenging, thev m

ust follorv a logical sequerce S ilcc'the zrveragcr

huliran m in<ì isû't accustom

ed to thinkjne s,"-ste m aticalh. tñ'inq to \\'rjte

clear prose is as latiguing as w ater skiing. Y

ou'l-e using m uscl':s that nor-

n.rail-v gei little exe¡cise. and the-v soon let lou linorv it B

ut in rvriting, as in $'aterskirng- progress does coÌlle \\'itll P liìctice

A nd iti greâtl-v accelerated bv im

ilating the techniques and.¡ltitrrdes of experts. õlear r.vúters. fo¡ instance. vary r"idelv ìn native ilrtelligernce- blrt the-r. all share seve¡al attitucìes:

¡ The) assum

e that their chiefjob is to ¿r om

nulnicate Thelhopetodo t¡ore' of course-nam

el1: pe¡suade and cha¡m

-but thel knorv tlìat com nìrrrìjcir

tion m ust com

e fir'st. especiaÌ]-v if the,v- are ever to achreve these other eifêcts' .

The).¿ssum e, ú,ith a peistr-rism

born ofexperience, thal r"-hateve!'isn t P laul-

l-u stated, the reader tr'ìll invariably m isconstrue 'The;'- keep in tlliirtl that sire

is, afte. tll. a perlect stranger to tireir earden ofirlgenìous ide¿s lnfrtt t(' he¡ that garden ûav nÌiti;Ìlv resem

ble a targled thjcket' il D oi n iqric¿i

¡¡n fo¡esi. This being so, theirjob as u'riter is to guide hel lbrougir' sieP

b\ slep, so that ihe erperience uìll be quick ancl r¡enorable' This i¡rvoh es aleri lv ánticipating her m

or¡ents of confusion and perioùcalll' gì'ìug her an ex

ilan^uon ol"iìrere she\ heade,l The '"'¡rte¡! G olden R

ule is tl'ie sanrc ¡ç Ihe

m oralisr!. D

o L'llo otl,er( e Ther ¿.sum

e tha-eren their profoundc.r rdeas ar" t'l ¿Lle "lr" ì1j \ pressed clearll. They alent so \'âin ¿\ to drink that their refltciions t¡a¡- scend th. port"rs of language-S

hakesP eare

P unctules thât l¿rÌtås)-rloi

so la4 as tà ask thei¡ ¡eader to double as a clain'olânt Ä s ¡161'¿l;5f S

onrcr-

set M augham

reniarked in ?h¿ S um

m ing U

¡t

I have never had m uch pâtieD

ce \rìth the rvrjte¡s u'ho claìtn f' o'r'¡ the reade¡ a¡ elfo¡t to understand thei¡: t¡eaning Tou Ìrave orlr to go to the great P

hilosophers to see that it is possible kr,erpress .¡¡ih lucidiJthe m

ost subtle ¡eflections' \bu m av lind it diíli'r)lt

to understand the thought of H um

e. ând if ,r'ou have no philo- sophical tr¿riûing its im

plications u-ill doubtless escape vou' ìrut no one *ìth anl:eclucation at all can fail to unde¡st¿rnd c:ractlv $'hat tlìe m

eatinq of each sentence js'

. The) have accepted tl'ie grim

realitl thât nine tenths of alÌ .rrititr{ i: rew

ritiilg

h.

1A

FLtndam ¿ntaLç

. P

erhaps m ost iùpoftant of all- thev a¡e sticlders for continuiN

. Thev link their sentences and paragrapìrs

as íeticuloush os ifther m tght face irìm

i- nal charges lor negÌigence.

B ut rather than speak for them

, perhaps I should let a few clear $Titr

ers speak for them sel-'es. H

ere, first. is the distinguished B ¡ítish historian

G eorge \4. Trevelvan:

The idea that histo¡ies rvhich are delìghtful to ¡e¿cl m ust be the uork of

superficial tem peram

ents, and that a c¡abbed str,le betokens a deep thinke¡ oÌ conscientìous $'o¡ker is the ¡everse ofthe t¡uth W

hat is eâsv to r'¡al Lrs becn diffi.uìt to !\ rire. Thc labor oru ri¡ing ancJ rervriting. cor- recLing atìd recor¡ecting,

is the cìue exacted b;.evew good book f¡om

its autho¡

. The easil-v flouing connection ofsentence vith sentence and paragraph uith paragraph has alu'avs been rvon bv the su,eat ofthe broli

A nd norv noveÌíst Jam

es A . lvfichener:

I h¿r'e neve¡ thought of m vseÌfas a good \Ã

riteìr. A û\one \\'ho w

ants reas- su¡ance of that shoulcl read one of m

r, ff¡st drafts B ut Iì¡ one ofthe

uorldi greatest re$,riters

A nd frnal11 E

.B . W

hite. perhaps A m

erica\ n.iost respected 20th- celltu11 essa\¡ist, $'hose consistenth. graceful str,le entitles him

to have the last rvord:

Tlie m ain thing I tn to do is rv¡ite as cÌearly as I can. B

ecause I hare the greatest respect for the reade¡ and if he's going to the trouble of reading u'h¿¡ l çe u'¡;¡1sr-I'n-r a slorv ¡eade¡ m

vself and I guess m ost people

are-',r,llr', the leasi I can do ìs m ake it as easl as possibÌe lor hrm

to find out l\'hai l'rn iniirg to sa!, L¡]ing to get at. I re$'rite a good deal to m

ake it clear.

A lticipate Y

our R eadert R

esponses

The chief difficuitr" l-ith rvriting is that it seem s a one-w

av process. Y

bu can't see -vour reâders face. you can't hear her, 1.ou can't get any feedback from

her rvhatsoever. The novice rvriier, as rl'e've seen, is oblil. ious to this handicap. The skilled rvriter, though. is supersensitive to it. B

ut he olercom es it br,activelv im

.øgining a reader-in fact, im agining

Thùtking\V elt j1

Ìn anlr. different readers-jusi as an experienced TV

new scaster loolcnÊ

inJo the cam ,"¡a! unrrinking ere. ¿,ctiieh.im

agines a rìcusr The l<ind of 'eader or readers,

r hat a skilì;d \\¡riter i m

oqincs rr ill,ìc_ pend,-ofcourse- on the occasion. tle trpe ofpiece heì rr.ritirLg. ¡nd othe¡ such factors. B

ut r.r'hater.er the occâsio; he'll assum e thc¡ ¡eaàãr has a ril

lion m ore interesting things to do w

ità he¡ tim e, is reading at a last clip. anrì

is just w aitìng.for on eacuse to tune o¿¿ú. Tl.ie rvrite¡'s "hàilerrg", theri. is to

avoid gving her that excuse. The suprem e challenge is to m

ake her quitrr forgei the other things she rvanted tã do.

H orv does the s'rite¡ m

eet these challelges? C hieflv b1, en4tathy.

The rràole tim e he s w

riting. het constantlv sr¡.itãhíng bacìiariá-ñnì froin his osn m

ind to hers. Ljke a skilled cl.ress plaver helm akes a dozen m

en_ taì m

oves for every actual one. E ach oftheÀ

he tests as to the probabie re_ sponse it w

ill elici| A nticipation, ìret lea¡ned. is the nam

e olihe gam e. I{

he can anticipate a response, he has a fair chance ofcontrolling ít. 5o ever_r, sentence-ves. e;ery senlerce-receíves a batterv of challenges:

. ",{m

I droning he¡e? Is she ¡ead_r, to silence m e? Is there a¡, u,av I can lighi_

en this up?" .

"H o$,can I get her to see-to/eel-the

urgencv of this poi¡t?', .

'k the continuir,v,- sikvL here. or is fatigue blinding m e to a bum

p?" ¡

"M ight she w

elcom e an analog,..here, o¡ is this ;bstràct idea ciear enough

on its ou.n?" .

A m

I treating he¡ as if she w e¡e an idiot?"

. "ls there an)-' conceivable u,ay this sentence m

ight confuse her?,. ¡

"H ave I just used anv ofthese uo¡ds in pre!ious senierces?,

.'W jll this phraie strike her as pretentious? A

nd, honestl¡ aru I usrùg it io im _

press het or is this the onÌv w ay I can erpress the thougirt cleanl\¡,'

. 'W

¡ìl she get Ihe nuanc. hcre or had I bnter spell rt n,rt? .

"C ân she jum

p on m e fo¡ ve¡bosrtr. here?"

. '1!ill she hea¡ a stronglv conversatioral, li\,ing voice com

ing th¡ough. or ànl I beginning ¡q 5e¡¡d ìike a book?'

__ H e's equally s'atchful about the w

av he paragraphs. H e ¡em

em bers

ali too uell encountering v'haìelíke paragraph¡ thai left him sirikinc under

their w eight, not to nention those m

iní-paragraphs that had his eve"bounc-

ing dorr-n the page. Too m uch or too littl; in ; p;ragraph, he know

s, has the sam

e effect: it..vears the ¡eader out. H e also.vatchãs the continuitv be-

hveen paragraphs. "Is the connection solid?" ire asks him self. .,\tr¡jll nr

reader \Ã 'ant an even sturdier bridge behveen these pårts of m

v argum enti

Is there any conceivable rl'¿v she can feel disorientåd hcre?,"

\

._ f.).lutn)L nt(ts

A rd so on. and so on. \A

.,riting $,ell is a long exercise in second_guess_ , .

I" ¡'arhizing-eran " kndotnon ,.ou.J,,. l"liì"ä_"j;:;""o,".

lr;r .¡. ,1,¡e1¡,¡¡¡¡on rocid. sensjrj\ì\: ¿le¡rros¡. _agà"aì,ìi 'Iiiua rr,"r,, r ri,rr crrnplìcaiecl busrness B

ui l . ìir rr , i .qiL'q R

";;ä,;""';; ,T:::l',"1:li ' lim b'ng- t! arso rronder

'r,h .n, ,¡,",1, ,-,o,, ,, i"i..:":r:"", \\ nen 'ou \e genuinel\ com m

un.^ated ,,,,,, r,, n,h,',, i,oi" j"";"ì ";:ì;J;å::';l iX

m :l î:ï.:îJ:î::,

¡¿¿rl,.,r iun io¡ Ire, rhais doi..n,ìghr satisgln;+ìi;";;,ilï1r."r"" S

om e C

oncluding Thoughts 7. \lunùo jutrLbo is anotheru,o¡d for grunis ofthe m

ind. \{um bo lum

bo is \iìât cor¡es out rn fi¡sr and scco"ja.,tr, *¡"" oå"i" "r,,,1_ li.,*r"' ior qaurself_that is r,,,hen , ou,¡e ,t,ll rrytng io f;;;; ä;iïi.ffi about a suÈ

iect. t

Î.i::.ì.:.,_l :-lll,:h ed rrrr ting for ¡'oursetf ancl begin rvritin g for the read.- ''r: voul rnum

bo jum bo*ìll start turninginto boi^ fid" p.ãr"ìì.."n,

icìlcc)s that m ake sense.

l. lír¡r¡ r r.e¡C er. can i get

_,. ou r full m eaning in a single ¡eâding, horvgv¿¡_

..,t.J,,. ,u.gle rcadin.g tc oll .1,. ou "5 yçu_ro. m ust fare up Io r\e iacL

'¡.,'ro. re "flicred.rrrh so¡re ,".;drral m rrm

bo ,urn¡,.r " "t "

,

] ll]" b.r. , (.r¡edr ? S

horrr u o ,¿ "r¿ ,¡".1", .,'r",.rli ' l:::l::¡'å:Til;)l?:;,'.nry*o ^P

'";';;";d ;ii''"' nrst through ¡t--^.._r- ¡

_.lr (lor unconscious obscurities) and second il"^-., lli.tlì,"' lou. rvorsf enenr\ /for "1, orh.r l"pse, Thts rpnds ro

^ i - "']'ll.ì:l ,r.ngeilecr or o\¡rìr-Jrpd Jnd .,nd.rihought prose

u. .1! a t¡stc3utlon, let the D recê

.,,, ..,,"-_ì"" :. j u:;! ;;,iii :ìi:ili;,ïi":î'T.iï: :;,f :

prolessio.al aurhor does and share rt r.r.jrh _,* "rJã ri"ìài'ö ,,.'"_

' T rr r'..er-.red ir sêêino .I.js r¡ir.,g ¡,rpror-d. noi;;p;;;"_;i _J;

.t ) .:',1-::ï-:"i it rnrghr hetfborir vo,, u.,a.'o,,i l,i"nJ. ii"o,ì,ìuo," J'¡ nl ¿ rêln¿rli (,leorp,e B

erna¡d S har| once l¡ade to rhe actress flle¡

T. r^. I Irss Te'n, hacl-"onf....d h".,"lu"t";";;;"i;;;1"ï;i :'',0,,

. of a plar. he hajsent l.Ìe¡ for criticism . S

L,"r., o,.ot" ¡u"1, to ¡"., O

h. l¡othcr the N IS

S , m

a¡k them as m

uch as vou like: *,hat else "r'c,r,, v lo¡? !¡rl¡ e. er\,hrng,h.t r,.li.r r"" I ."r.""rr-à"i, ¡¡,ns rg r.m

cs: bur if.'ou "onls,d". i, ,, .,:lliî , """¿_lii ìn' '

iinres: and a line J0 tim es ccnsicle¡ed is 2 p". ""nib;,t."".ì;;n,

liûe 49 tjm es considered A

pd t is ,h",,;"it;;;;;;;",""" "

m akes the dilfe¡ence ber*,ee¡ excellenc" ",rd;ã,;;;ì'

. a;)

aJ

upeners

It x ¡n the hørd, hard, rock_pile labor of seeking to u)ín, hold, or dzserce a rea.d¿r's íùterest that the pleo-:tantàgony of unt_ ir,g alain corne.s irL.

-John M ason B

rov'n

W hat gets m

y interest is the se.nse that a uriter is speak- ing honestly ard. fullg of ahat he knou,s u:ell.

'.-W èndelÌ B

erry

Q a¡ youreat the doctori. and you've just picked up a c opy ol N

eu;sw eek.

\-, Y ou rdty brow

se its pages. W ith your m

ind on autom atic pilot, ¡,-'our

e¡e checls out one article after anothe¡ searching for anlthing ìntrigúing. S

ince yo.u're hungry for som ething good, and you:re expectinivour nam

e to be called, you're ruthless. Y

ou give each ,iory -"yË " threä sentences

to prove itself, and that's all, but erperience*---or im patience_has con-

virced you it's enough. In that brief ipan your m ind aìsw

ers probably all ofthese questions I

i "D

oes this story ati¡act m e?"

"E nough to read on?"

"Is the w ting easv. o¡w

ill J have to w ork he¡e?',

"ls the style fresh orjust so-so?" "D

oes the w riter seem

sm a¡t? r,,,ell-info¡m

ed? soi¡ited?"

25

Þ -

4 .'--..-.,

fi[iddles

lly style of uríting is chiefLg grounded upon on earltl en- thusiasm

for [Thonas H ] H

utley, the greatest of all m astets

of orderly etposition H e taugllt ùt¿ the intportance of gia-

íngto eùery argum cnt a sìm

ple stnlctTrre _H .L. M

encken

-:;

I X Therr r ou em

barli on an ess;¡; -vou m ay knou' exactlv w

hat -vou're sup- V

V pnréd ro do "ncl hos best to âo it liso- -vou're fortunate-.M

ost P eo-

ple cìon't. The entire concept ofessar rnìting is fuzn to them This-chapter

i for the bervildered m

aioilç lt's an àttem P

t io bring into focus the u'høf ¿ncl the hor¡, of the businåss. îhe ,rrl¿¿r of it l'11 explain w

ith an analogi The lnu o{ tl is ratl.rer m

ore com pÌicated because it invoh'es the ver-v process

itself For the next fes' m inutãs tve't e going to follorv an iuaginary student

rigìit throirgh the stages o{s ritit.ig an ã:sa¡ and then I'll shorv vou a m odel

.llr I essarir* ¡itten Ë , ^ fort,t"r' itltdent. D

ar.rny R obbins' norv a profes-

sior¡.¿¡l sportsrrritei: so r ou carr see ivhat tÌie finished product m ight look like

\i'h"t. .ou m ari¿sL- has all this to do w

jth "m iddles"? W

ell, vou're about to see that the niddle section of an essav is inseparable from

the op, r.r .e. 'in¡^ it ctpl¿in. anJ Jer' ìo1" lìlc tliesis '\nd vou r*'ill see thal ll',, ,,,,,Ïdl" .' also inscparabìe fro'n ttrn p*o""'s b'' rvhich the ihe:is is ar- rir' e<ì ¿t, silce it am

ounts to a coherent retelling of that process

3t

First, the t¿/¿¿¡ of it. W hen vou w

rite a term paper, a final exam

ina- tion, or even a ìab report. y'ou're engaged in w

hat's called "à?ositorv-" w rit-

ing. E xpository w

riltngis inform atiae w

iting. Its prim ary

go aJ is to explain.' Im

pli¿it in m ost expository w

riting, how eve¡ is a second goal: to

percyg,þ. The tuo goals alm ost invariably go together since it's ha¡d to

explain som ething-a political issue, a historical event, a novel. a philos-

ophy-w ithout iaking a position on it; ând once you take a position, vou

naturallv w ant othe¡s to accept it as sound. That gets you into the ¡ealm

of reasoning-the realm of persuasion. The w

hole point, finallr,; is to have y'our reader respond; "lès, I understand now

Y ou've convinced m

e." Y

our situation as an eryositorvw riter

closelv ¡esem bles that of apros-

ecuting attorney, society's professional skeptic-persuader. Let's develop that

analogy, for once you grasp it, you'll understand the gist ofessav t'riting.

The A nalogy

E ven before the trial gets undelw

ay, our prosecutor is already going about her im

portant first business-sizing up her audience. the m otler jur¡

(analogous to yo:ur readzrs). H ow

sophisticated are they? \4Ìhat are their interests, their prejudices, their intellectuâl capacities? A

re they a solem n

bunch, or do they sm ile at her droll rvitticism

s? The ansu'ers to those ques- tions ç'ill determ

ine the delivery she uses----€ven, to som e extent. the e\i-

dence she presents. S he lost m

any decisions in her younger years sim pll,'

by ignoring the cha¡acter of the jury but shei naive no longer S he nol'

takes this p¡elim inary testing-and-probing

period very serioushi (Y ou as a

rw iter, of course, m

ust reÌy on intuition, the larvs ofprobabilitr,, and guess- v'ork, m

aking your task m ore speculative but certainly no less ln.rportanl.)

N ow

sheì readv to begin her presentation to the jury S he could

spend sir m ontls in N

assau each 1'ear ifshe could sim ply announce: "Ladies

and gentlem en, the defendant, Ivan Iso¡ is guilty. Y

ou can tell it from the

m ad glint in his eye. The S

tate ¡ests." U nfortunatel¡ the jury rvill oblige her

'ìvfost ofthe *'orldt p¡ose falls under the heading of "er?ositon, \.Titing.'A ll nerlr-

papers, popular m agazines, nonlìcrion books,letteß, acâdem

ic aÉ icles, speeches, guidebools,

Ìega-l bnefs, court opinions, offìce m em

o¡a¡da-all thrs and m

ore is expository llTitìng B uì

poetry fìction, plays-that\ all term ed "creative w

:riting," even thorìgh iii som etim

es fâr less creative thaa good expository w

úting.

þ"

I!

34 Fm

d/tùLentûLt

io pr.ooc \'lr-. Isorì guilt, ald orrlv facts plus cogent argum entation can

pror,e anrthing. S o she begins b¡' stating the essence of her case (the fhø-

r¿r) i,l c".efrlliy fo¡nulated language, "The S iate w

ill prove that the de- fendant. Ivan Isor, r.vith m

alice aforethoughi. attem P

ted to level C itv H

all l.jtli a tauk." Then the prosecutor spends the bulk of her rem

âining tim e

calling forth u'itne sses (lIte exidence) to prove her case, sar'ing her star ex- hrbit ithe tank itselfl for last so the im

pact u'ill be greatest. Ä 11 the rvhile'

though. she! achievine m anv other ir.nP

oftant things: foxily anticipating and delusrng the contentions of the defendantì lar'w

er; dem onstrating her

orvn m astery of the facts of the case; clarif¡'ing u'hat's really at isstre and

u,hats not; delining her exotic legal term s so the jury can grasp them

; sup- porting each nerv charge rvith a u'ealth offactual proof; quoting authorities äitherìo buttress her case or to freshen her eloquence; underscoring the logicai sequence ofher evidence; and proriding the spellbound jurors w

lth a running sun.rm

ary of ho.v the P ieces of the case interconnect.

Finallv she m akes a closing appeal to the jurors (lhe conclusion) rn

riìrich shc neatl-v recaps the high points of her case-she Lnorvs they have sholt m

em ories-and explains in the clearest possible w

av u'hv he¡ r'er- sion of the case is the on1¡' one u .easonable person could accept S

he ends on a note of irium

ph, "A nd last, ladies and gentlem

en, you have Ivan Isor's stolen tank beforå 1ou, his fingerprints on its rvheel' the plaster of C

it¡* H

all still clogging its treads, and 'D ou'n \4/ith A

ll B urocrats' blazonecl on

its sides-m isspeìIeð. exactly the rvav he als'a-vs m

isspelled it!" The P rose-

cuto¡ has folloived the age-old form ula of debaters: "Tell 'em

rvhat you're going to tell'en.r, tell it to ;em

. and then tell'em l'hat 1'ou''"e told'em

"" B y

ioìiÑ ng thls fonr.rula, she ha-s not onl¡'- m

ade it easl' for the jury to grasp her argum

ent, she has m ade it alm

ost im possíbIe for them

not to

The C hecklist

\iirtually eveq.thing our P rosecutor did finds an exâct corresP

on- dence in successful essay w

riting l'lÌ stress onl¡' the m ajor points'

A t the top of the li.st ís a sire sense of the oudience Ifyou ignore the

special charactãr oflour audience-, our jun r ou m

ight ¿s rvell not even begin. It rvould be iike telling a locker¡ oom

joke to ; our grandm other'

ì P

:,t( r.t^^)(L0 L-^ G ,--f¡,1.<24

| (

{ Iu"

I .\tidtl".

'ji \

o ¿-,-<+,Ã '

t¿"--/t ( ¿ 4y/lu-h \,..

. tl*¿za.tq 4./4^

\.rller.a sure sensc ol audie' cocorne fire otfii:-ã.sãítkll îìiiclr L¡cron,_ ïend\ou rnem

orize. ìou lì iindthem ineren successfirl ,,,srt:

\,,4 -,& _rt/?t ,

l. A uell de{ìnerl the'çL

2. A clea¡ st¡ateor' ¡/o- 4 ai,l*

r 11

3. S rrong er.iden"á. ,," ¡.!-

llç,-< . ¿lt--. ,<¡,,¡-¿r,-. 4.¿*..7J, 4. .{ ¡lean nafr¿tjvÊ

ljnc ' t r- , S

,jL . J. A

persuàsi\e,clo(ins )

t'(

1"r,o .r )"¡u tru-' "

To understand dlejr im poftance, you m

ust see them in actio¡r. so ÌeLìs

::) bl]:* our im aginan studenr rhrough the stages oi*ri,i.,g ,n,...*,,1

i hrs \\'r tt give vou the âdded ad\.an ldge of se.ing the kir,d c,f pi"l,n -at,. r'rork out olrrlrich strorjg openers -r,à m

iddl"s ,íe born

The H lpotletical C

ase

S uppose the student's assignm

ent is: .l\¡rite a 1,500_rvord essav clis_ cussinglour vieu,s on capital punishm

ent.,' W hat position should he iakl_ì

\4¡ell, this particula¡ student thinks he already kn'orvs_he happens to bc: âgainst it"-but since he is nou, an experienced college senio., Ë

e .esolres to suppress his notions until he ha-. thoroughly.. reseaiched the subject. ,

It's partl,v a m atter of pride: he doesn;t uant the facts to end up em

_ barrassíng his intelligence, In acldition, though, he w

ants his essar to rejlect that he has open-m

indedl_,,, in1,p5¡¡g¿¡qd theìssues-the pros ¿s ir ell as the cons. H

e hrorvs that if he doesn't do this, he rvon't be ablå to auticipate and defuse his ¡eaderì objections to his contentions-a cruciaÌ elenent rn per_ suasive u.ritíng, just as it is in the courtroom

. S

o he studies the subject, record.íng aII tl.¡.e eaidence he drsco.,ers, exam

ples, statistics, quotations from authorities, argum

ents. That's -siep one. S

tep |'vo is To organíze ltls/øcls. For this he ,rr"i listr. E ventuallv he

com es up rrith som

e 20 argurnentr Ta\oring thê .boììtion ofcr¡i,aì pun_ ishm

ent a¡d another 20 far oring its retention. H aving done the iecessan

hom ervork. he norr arrjres at stêp thrce: u..ighint, these argum

ents. This

{t ' The lornrula rlorks. or course, onlv rvh en it s kept discreetlr' veiled The trick is to

fotìo$ it sìthoùt âppeâring lo; oihen'"ise voirr P resentâlion sounds m

echalìica]

" Tie rie[s and argum ents I ll àtfibute to the student âre.,his.,not m

ine l.ve ncve¡ resear.hpdth-is p^¿ì.ticùl,r subiect m

rself. so m \ osn \rê$s ñ1 jt dre ¿s unform

cd ". rh, r "r" un r lorm

e.' t nlortunâtel\. the poor studên. na\ sùller rhe consequen. os or tnr.!¡¡6¡"aaa.

lne s hole poinr ol 'hi.iìcrlon¿i-ê-,rêàhon.rl-,oL,ghi.rosl.or,ho*an^rs¿.m i_t,thcg.r,

er¿ted ¿nd strucrur"d. The argrrnenrs ti,.¡ssir.iar" I-rol.rcnl

enâbles him finally to decide w

hich of the tw o positions is m

ost con\inc- ing to him

. That decision, though, is still m

ainly intuitive and unconscious ¡ather than rational. W

hile het now convinced that the case against capita.l pun-

ishm ent is the stronger one, the actual proof of that position hasnt yet

crystallized in his m ind. A

nd the¡e's the rub. U ntil he can prove it to him

- self, using a coherent line ofreasoning, he know

s he rvon't be able to prove it to his reade¡. The shotgun approach-a blast ofunconnected reasons- is out of the question. H

is essay m ust be able to say, in effect, "H

ere's rny position, and this is w

hy any sensible person rvould accept it." In praciicaì term

s, this m eans show

ing precisely hoø he reached his position, step by step.So he goes back to his list of argum

ents to w ork out a blueprint The

argum ents are already roughly organized, but now

he m usl classifu them

inio m ajor groups-¡¡6¡¿l ¡s¿5s¡5, econom

ic reasons, political reasons, legal reasons-and anaþe how

they all add up, how they interconnect.

This is a crucial part of the w riting process, he krow

s, for his ¡eader rvill erpeci the proof of his thesis sorted inlo neat, logically developing stagøs, and this is precìsely w

hat he is doing norv. A

related task, w hile he's classifying his argum

ents, is to decide the sequence in w

hich to present them . This is a tactical decision. S

om e of

the reasons, he ¡ealizei, are clearly m ore persuasive than others. S

hould the m

ost persuasive ones all com e fìrst, or should he build his argum

ents from

leasipersuasive to m

ost P ersuâsive, or should he m

ix them ? O

r w ouìd

he be w isár to elim

inate m ost of the m

arginally persuasive reasons and go for quality rather ihan qùantity? H

e puts him seìf in the reader'.s shoes

ànd decides that if h¿ w ere reading this essay cold, he'd be m

ost con- vinced by qualiÇ

, not quantity, and also by an increasingìy persuasive order of argum

ents. S uch an orde¡ w

ould be agreeably clim actic,_

H es ready, he thinks, to begin w

riting now . H

e's got the argum znts

he needs, the szpporú for these argum ents, The coherent grouping of them

, and the m

ost i¿c¿ì cal sequence in.ivhich to P resent them

. In addition, dur- ing the ordering process he has w

eeded out (he hopes) all that is either ir- .ei.r'ant o, -a.ginally persuasive, so that rvhat he is now

going to give the reader is a t¡ìm

digest of his case. O

ne im portant thing rem

ains, how ever, and that is to get clea¡ in his

m inàthe nature of hß audíence.

T\!o years âgo it never occurred to him to size up his audience, for tw

o yeârs ago he w

asn't w ritÍng erpressly for his reader; he rvas w

riting sim ply

Fødz¡n¿ntals \Iìd¿les

3T

i::*:ii:llliough persuasion is \.itaÌ ro tìim

, so it,s becorne palr of rrs srandàrd procedure to second_guess his ¡eader,s needs, taste, anã level of sophístication. H

e knorvs that thii *ill d"te.m irr", am

orrg "lî".ifr,rgr, fr,, choìce of rnnc iserious, bantering. ironic, inarg,]"nti Ìri, j,!;;ì;þ;*,

_ }orm

al. tem pered. blunt), his.senrence strurtulre eontp)ex, o""""Jnd"lr, "u,n_

pìer sim ple, a.ndhis rnd. e1 6¡gitInent Iechnjc¿l nàniechní..o1. "bi;,,;r;.

subjecií\'eì..{ll these decjsjons a¡" c.rucjal. lo¡rlrcr deûne,l," ,oi.l.:,n.1 posfurc he ,hjnks are m

ost appropriâte lo¡ the occosjon. In this case his ardience is roèll definecl: it r¡,.ill consist soÌeh, of p¡o_

fessor B uclde1,, a bright, am

iable fello"r, ",ho i, .lr";;;'.';-ing irl, iìì¿"*r, "B

e polem ical, but be practical.,'

W ith P

rofessor B ucklev clearlv befo¡e hinr in his im

agination," our student finallv sta¡ts w

¡iting. _ H

e opens w ith a brief. fascinating liistorv ofcapital punishm

ent ¿nd its rele\'ânce as â social issue. This conrJ-"s -ort ofà"o p'"*g.ufn fl"n he ends his introduction w

ith a firm position stâtem

ent:

This gradual trend torva¡d the al¡olition ofcapital punislm ent ¡efle.ts a

g¡ow ing aw

areness that such extrem e punishì¡enidoesn,t

m ake sense_

econom ìcallr,-_ m

oralh,- or pragm atìcalÌi

, Thjs thesis sentence prorides him

(arrd l.ris reader)uith an im rnacu_

latelv sim ple structure for hjs essov It lets him

plunge right into explaiu_ ing the econom

ic reasons in his next paragraph:'

C onside¡ed from

o "oloh econnm r..fornt of\iê\\. ci"njr¿l pur r.ìr

n P nl is a \\'aste oflrum

ân resour.es Instead 6f þlJ¡¡g ¡ n,ri,. ,o,.,.n should take ad'ant¿ge ofhis abiliq, to u,o.k "nd pui, årtit,rtián. '

' A clarilìcâfion here: I a

noi endorsing the prÀ circe of,t1l.Ìting for the teach0r.._

i e., gi!.ing the teâcher (or an,u- reade¡ for that m attei. * hat r ou pr e."å"-fr",*"ìì a fr*,

at the expense olw hât vou senuineh, belicre f l"t , . *U

o",. i ,,L rì.- ",..,i_g. ,1,""f<f,. that the $'riter rem

em É

e¡ ri.ho his ráacle¡ ts rn order to com nrunrcate w

jth him in ¿ Ìrrarn,rr

rl "r :\ h},rll' ro b" underst¿ndable "rcJ sinn,nd ro hrn. For cram

pJe. rou don. 1.,1. t,, :, rh-"-.e,,-ordrh.,,"j,.ou.¿ij.r"¿¡"tluì,"t1r,.',gl ,;,,,,;.."i''i;".;;i:ii,,i ,,. " :nrnq.to tôth. )ou rsplnncuâq- rh.,t Lhc.hild.¿n und.¡t"r,,l ,.,, i,o,11,.,,, "1.-r",-: 'rêJdis-nor\our\.5im

iì,¡hralaqrerd,csn,a.gr,-.1...eb^to¡Þ .*riir":i1,,".,r.1

..1 À

rgup rt lrrtore ¡hc \u¡rênF l-^¡trr TL"r < ,lot ots\one.r!. t. . o.,.m .n .nn,. an.l eoocJ ,n ..,

iu"",oì],^,x1".,n ineargum -nr,",,'".0,"..ì,.[,,r.;,::;;,,:i"ì.:i];ö.,".,

&

38 Fud¿m

¿ntalç

'Ilie next sentences in this paragraph develop support for that con- tentior.ì-part of the support being an exam

ple of a country that has tried this plan iuccessfullri I'{is next paragraph develoP

s -other econom ic ¡ea-

sons-buttressing this one. rrith the strongest resen'ed for last:

\or let us overlook the staç1e ùg cor.rrt cosis. \1¡ith capital p.unishm ett,

â

sinele. speed\ t¡ial is .,ttl,e"i l of A ltttost im

'a¡tabl) a case gill be reilied ,'"oi-"t.åìt ai tl,e conclenr,recl person erhausts every possible appeal ancl d"i"t,

I{e ends the section rr'ith a brief sur.u¡tar-r ofhis argum ents uP

to that point. W

'ith ihis st¿ge of his ar-gum ent com

pleted he m oves on tothe next'

tLe rr,orhì -¡asor. Tì'e.e. he !ll,-,.* r. are stronge- \""r ¡"rragraph: B

ui bevond the m e¡e econom

rcs ofthe issue' capitâl P unishm

ent is

a m oral óuirage First. it ìs a basic violation of the Judeo-C

hristian ethic' the corne¡stone ol où¡ dem

ocratic societv

FIe supports this contention br quoting-authorities such as Jesus' C

larence D a-rro.o', and G

eorge B ernard S

hart, all ofs hom argue that com

-

pâssion rather than n.ìercile; revenge is the m ost cilili"€d form

ofjustice iH

er" he t"ke, tlìe opportunitl'to cãunter a probable o\ectior.r-the old Testam

ent notion thåi"un ."" fo. an ")'e'is just-\\'ith ihe O Id Testam

ent com

m andm

ent supersedlng it: "Thou shalt not kill ") Then' ín a nerv para- grapir. ìre tt.to.'e, o,.t to hìt seoond argum

ent in this group:

Fur therm ore. câP

ita1 punìshûrent-u'hich is essentiallv a l-r'nch

m ob bv proxl'-los "., i1.," ,iart,lu.d, oí public m

or aliq' In effect it e¡- lour"g"r' burb"rr,t t b-r' the state-indeed' rt brings societ\ do$'lr to the le..el Jf a ¡uthless ,',-turd","t O

tce the state hâs the porver to m urcìer

u rtìr the grace ofthe statute book, histo¡ic¿lh it Ìoses aÌÌ se'rue of pro- portion. i\.e have seer thrs happcn jìr. C

reai B rit'ìjn in the ì S

th certu1'" 'rherr .'en ll,e ferl êsrcrirrrê:ue-t rl'ouo'ht litin¡ P

rrni'\m eni ¡tihc

qalloq's-

À fter deveioprr.rg this P

oint' he's readv for his third and strongesi rnoral argurnent, lri'hi"ú l,e táts off in another nerv paragraph:

Finallv aùd rnost seriousìr ' capilal punishm ent strikes àt the \ ery

basis of m orali¡' itseÌf \'f oralir,- resti upon ihe fåct that \ e are m

ortals'

ir"ti".a i-p".i""a tn o.,r undárstauditlg not infallible B -v cont¡ast' caP

iLal

ilid¿les i9

punishm ent

presrrm es that m

an cal] set liìnself up as G od, and that juric,s

never m ake m

istakes The m oral presum

ption in this is sureiy as greât ¡s that ofthe cri¡¡inal $'ho takes the life of his vrctim

.

N orv he begrns his m

ain attack the pragrn¿ìtjc reasons. \\Ìith ihe gusto of C

hurchill on D -D

a;- he opens a nerv paragraph:

B oth econornicalh and rnorally: ihen, capital punishm

ent sinpll doesn t m

ake sense. B ut the m

ost dam àgrng indictnent against the practtce

is prâgm atic: it fâìls to âchieve its purpose, w

hich is the deterrence ofcnm e

N orv rvh). does it not deter a crim

inal? B ecause it ¡ests upon a faìse assum

p- tioni that m

urder or rape, for exam ple. is coùlm

itted consciousll. is prem ecì-

itated. B ùt this ìs paierltl) ùot so. \4ost câpitâì criì¡es âre clim

es ofpassiori. com

m itted unthinkingll. in tbe Ìreat ofthe m

ornent. The c¡im inal ner,er con-

siders punishm ent.

To support that reasoning, he cites statistics to shorv that the vasi m

ajority of m urders are com

m itted w

ithin the fam ilt: ancl that m

ulcìer. rates in states w

ith the death penaltv are no los'e¡ than iu states w ithout ii.

H e also cites once rrìore the exam

ple of G reat B

ritain. r.r'here prrbìic er. cution of picþockets clid not prevent the spectâtors flon being depri..ed of their w

allets. M

oving to â neu. paragraph, he next argues:

S o capital punishm

ent doesn t u'o¡k. B ut \\,1ìeû \{'e t¡-\" to lorce it to

uo¡k, rve find that r.r,e can't even adm rnister lt fairl,! Fi¡st, the¡e ìs tlie eco-

nom ic bias: ihe rich can alu'â)'s pa)'their $a),oùt, \r'hile the poor rrlll dì€r.

S econd, the m

eting out ofthe death peralt"- often depends upon rolrorri ¡ou hl1, lor hunan life is not vaÌued eauaÌh,

H ere he gives exan.rples of crim

inals lr'ho r.r'ere executed for kiÌling pubìic ligures, u'hile fellorv crin.iinals r¡'ho killed people of Ìesser reno\\it \vere paroled in three vears.

This brings him to his conclusion. FIe succinctl-r' recâpitul¿rtes his

chielargunents and dr aw s out their full im

plications-and periraps espe- ciall,v the im

plications of ignoring them . H

e'.s sE ving, in essence, "H

erei q'hat follor.r's if _vou don't bu)'. these a¡gum

ents." Then he end-. s'ith a sen- tence neatlv sum

m arizing his case:

The eridence all ir-r, ihe co:iclusions are inescapable: econonicaìl1 the proponent of câpitâl punishrÌlent rs a u'aster, m

oralh, he is a bankrupt. and pragm

aticaÌh he rs a lool.

h

i

4() Fundn¡¡¡¡ntaL+

The M odel

W hat lollorvs norv ls an actual essa,v t'ritten by a student nam

ed D

ann-v R obbins, r.vllo u'as a college junior ât the tim

e. It's a splendid ex- am

ple ofall five points on our earli€r checklist- but especially of#2, a clear strateg. This is about as r'vell orgauized an essay as you are likely to see. It also illustrates the truth of G

eorge B ernard S

harv's obsen'ation: "E ffec-

tiveness of asseïtion is the A ìpha and O

m ega of style. H

e u'ho has nothing to assed has no style and can have none; he rvho has som

ething to assefi rull go as far in poiver of str'le as its m

om entousness ând his conr'ictìon u'ilL

carw him

."

The C haracter and P

urpose of C aesar

O ctavius C

aesar in S hakespearet A

núorry and C leopalra em

bod\es all the ideals of ancient R

om e. H

is pursuit of*orld pou'er at any cost is consistent \\'itlì the m

ìlitaristic, m ale-o¡iented socieq of u-hich he is a

pari. The R ornan spiút, it seeÌ¡s, is so deeply ingrained u'ithin C

aesa¡ that there rs absolutell nothing else in the t'orld of an1'' im

portance to him besides stren¡$h and conquest. In fact, he seem

s so one-dlm elsional

a

cÌra¡acter that he rna¡'not be a tm e characte¡ at all. I thlnk he is 4e¡-eLy.a

Ð ,m

bol-¿ioiibtrat recùrs in the P la) not to câP

ture the im âgiÌration o¡

r¡'ake one leam som

ethìng about hum an nature but ¡ather to provid€ a

ne;uuling stick by vhich one can calculate change in M ark A

ntonv ,.,

, C

ertainlv there are âspects of C aesar! châracter thât cry oui lor

, fui:ther developtnent b-v S

hakespeare. H e is so,voung, vel acts so old

.{nd norçhere does C aesa¡ show

the sensitiviql curiosit\''. or frìvolit}"oiìe m

ight expect froin a 23 i,ear-old. It seem s that if S

hakespeare reall¡' w

aûted to rr-tàke C aesar a P

rovocative character. he could have done soùethirg \\'ith these qualities. B

ut be doesn't. li aP P

eârs that C aesa¡ is

so q?e-cast- so stereotlped as a R om

an, that the r-eader or spectator ntust \ie\r him

for *,hat he stands lor raiher than for g,hat happens io him

in the p)a¡, N o m

atter $'hat the -situation. his actions are perfectly R

onan. -A .nd in this m

anner, it appears that his function is like that of a ''constaD

t' in a m aihem

atical equatiot. a figure of never-changing vaìrre Å

ntonl u'ould be the "r'ariable" in the equation H e is changed by the

passion of C leopatra. and C

aesa¡ s lunchot is to provide contrâst for this C

aesar', ihen, m usi not chânge. Three ìnstatces, covering the entire tim

e span of the pÌay: b¡ing this out.

M idÀ

l¿s 4i I ,

,+.( In A

ct I, C aesa¡ criticizes A

rtony behind his back for the gooô-11r ì. tim

es A ntony has in E

g¡pt. The play has just begun, and C aesar is

â.lready telling Iæ pidus that

F¡om A

Ìexand¡ia This is the new

s: he fishes, d¡nks, and w astes

The lam ps of night in revel; is not m

ore m anlike

Than C leopatr-a- nor the queen of P

tolem y .

. .

Y ou shall find the¡e

A m

an q,ho is the abst¡act of all faults That all m

en follow

(L4.3-fO )

This is C aesar's ve¡v first speech, and in it one fìnds a 23-1,ear-old

m an condem

ning pleasure. C aesa¡ cannot understand w

hy A ntony does

lrot take up arm s w

ith the trium virate, \r.hy pleasu¡e com

es befo¡e dutr.'_ This opening speech is a clea¡ disclosu¡e of C

aesa¡'s personaìitv. B ut per

haps m ore im

portantly, .{ntonyì vaÌues are being com pared to C

aesa¡t. N

ot only do w e see the things that C

aesa¡ v¿-lues-m asculinity, rvork,

am bition-but it is signifìcarit that A

ntony is the subject of C aesa¡'s fi¡st

lines. In tìe totaÌ scope of the pla;, A ntony is the "subject" of ali of them

, w

hetle¡ he is m entioned b1' nam

e or not. Then in A

ct II there is anothe¡ m ore tellìng glim

pse into C aesa¡s

cha¡acte¡. H e and ,{ntony are trying to patch up their dam

aged ¡elation- ship, but C

aesar pursues ¡econciliation in a purel¡' utilitarian m anne¡. H

e is a R

om an fi¡st, a friend second. C

aesã âcts purcly as a soldie¡ A nd he is

concem ed w

iti A .ntony as m

erely a once-fam ous soldie¡ w

ho can help him defeat P

om per''. C

aesar is so w rapped up in his quest lor t'orld pou.er that

he w ill sell his sister'ï,hom

no b¡othe¡ / D id ever love so dearly"

(1I,2.Ì50-151) to A ¡tony to get A

ntony's support. A ntony seem

s to go along w

itl C aesa¡ to appeæ

e him fo¡ the m

om ent and end the conversation-

N eve¡theless, the end result is that the sha.llow

¡ess of C aesari nature is

er'posed again. H e, uoÌike A

aton¡ show s no regard for the beauq' of hum

an relationships. H

e j-s concem ed only w

ith using people to advance his m ili-

tary goals. The fact that C aesar show

s no love or com passion-not even fo¡

his sister*hghJights the relationship betu'een A ntony and C

leopatra. C

aesar acts no diffe¡entlv in the {ìnal ,{ct ofthe play. In fact, he appeaß m

o¡e rutiless. A fte¡ A

ntoìiy't death, C leopatra seeks m

erc,v lrom C

aesa¡. C aesa¡-w

ho in the w ar agairst A

ntony has just slaughtered m

any m en in his oun self-interest-says:

b

S he lC

leopatraj shall soon L¡os, of us .

H ou' honorable and how

kindl;' rn'e D

ete¡m ine fo¡ he¡. For C

aesar cannot live To be ungentle.

(\i1.58 61) '', i

' This is, of course, a joke. C

aesar has m urdered P

om pe¡ Lepidus.

and  nton¡. The "m

erc1"'C aesar plans for C

leopatra is to use hei as a pubtic display of his "generous heart." P

¡oculeius lets sliP this notion; "let

the *,o¡ld see / H is nobleness rrell acted" (\':2.44-45). For ihe first iim

e C

aesar is m aking an ouhvard shon' of piq, and hndness and, tm

e to his nature, he is sincerc about none of it. Furthe¡m

o¡e, the sparing of C

ìeopatras life has a m ilitary puÌ?ose-to m

ake hlm look good in the

e)'es ol hrs subjects-just like everything else he does. Thus C

aesa¡'s cha¡acter ueve¡ changes from beginning to end- H

e is not io be pitied o¡ even contem

plated to any great extent b)' the audi ence. C

aesar acts sim pl;. as a standa¡d bv rvhich one can studv the effects

of C Ìeopairaì love on A

ntony-. S hakespeare seem

s to be using C aesa¡ as a

s),m bol of R

om an sociery a yardstick bv $'hich A

ntony's der'ìance f¡om R

om an ideas can be m

easu¡ed. There is nothing deeP ol stim

ulating about the m

an. H is t¡aits are tegaiive and obvious, so obrious that I

think S liakespeare m

ade them this \ta) on P

urP ose C

aesar is supposed to be a m

odel R om

an, w hereas A

ntot)'is suP P

osed to be and is-a nchl-v com

pler hum an being.

The M odel A

¡alY zed

To heìp you consolidate rvhat;'ou've learned so far, I'll critique this essav in terrns ol the five-point checklist:

l. A w

etl-dzfined th¿sr-s; Like our earlier im aginary student. D

annv did the necessary headrvo¡k before actualll- beginning to rv¡ite. A

ll that preparåtion gives him

trvo advantages: he can \.rite boldlli because he re- ãl\'kno,vs hii stuff; and he can set foith his argum

ents ìucidl¡', because he unde¡stands exactÌy horv thev interconnect The opening paragraph illus- trates both advantages.

IIis thesis is clea¡ and deliciousl-v controversial:

t think he is m erely a sym

bol-a \oice that recurs in the play not to cap- ture the im

âginåtion or m ake one leam

som ethitg about húm

an nature

Fundøw ntals

but rather to prolide a m easuring stick by.*.hich one can caÌculate change

ìn \4 ark A ntonl:

Itt also placed right rv'here ii ought to be for greatest effe.ct-at the cli- m

actic end of the opening paragraph. H e leacìs into it rvith 1 ¿¡inÀ

, rvhiclr prim

es us for a m ajor assertion (this ìs the fi.si áppearance of 1l ancì r¡,biclr

also discreetfv im plies his recognition that the asse¡tion m

av be consicle¡ecl debatable by the reader. \4¡e are to knorv, in other rvords, that he isn t a¡¡o gantly advancing this notion as a statem

ent of fact, but rather as an opinion. N

onetheless, it's a firm l¡, held opinion, and rve adm

ire his courãge for stating it so unequivocall,v. H

e's not w affling w

ith us; insteâd. heì boldh, crau4ing out on an interpretive lìm

b, just as l'll advise you to clo in C hapter

9. The entire opening paragraph, in fact, is refreshingl,v direct in nanneÌ- another exam

ple of the front-door approach in action. 2. A

clear strategy: B asicalþ-the opening paragraph is asserting three

things, each one leading to the nextl

A . C

aesa¡ em bodies the R

om an ideal.

B . In fact, he is ¿o¡å.ing år.rú the R

om ar ideal-tlat is, he is one dim

ensional. a w

alking s¡'rnbol. C

. From B

qe m ust infe¡ that his d¡am

atic function is to servc as a 1'ardstick bv u'hich w

e can m easure the change in his fellort R

om an,

M ark A

ntony.

D anny know

s that ifhe can pror,e points,4 and B , he can persuade us that

his thesis (C ) is, at the very least, probabh' valid.

In the second paragraph, he contents him seÌf largei¡, w

ith am plif_v-

ing on points A and B

(chiefly B ). B

ut rvhen he says, "N o m

atte¡ rvhat the situation, his actions are perfectly R

om an." rve can feel ou¡seh'es being

prim ed to uiøu-r these concrete situations- for thís is rvhere the proof ob-

viously lies. ,{nd, sure enough, here it com es: 'C

aesar, then, m ust noi

change. Three instances, covering the enti¡e tim e span ofthe pla¡ bring

this out." The plan of attack could hardly be m

ore explicit-or m ore beauti-

full;- sim pìe, three m

ajor exam ples, one per paragraph. This is u'hat

M encken had in m

ind w hen he spoke of "the im

portance of giving to everv- argum

ent a sim ple structure." N

ote, too, the fine posrtioning of this curtain-raising sentence. Like the earlier thesis sentence, it rounds offits paragraph, thus pro.,ìding its o\\,-n transition directlv into the proof (paragraphs 3-5). N

c.:t a rvord is rvasted.

44 Fundnm

¿ntals

D ann1,'s parallel structure in the opening sentence of each of his

three supporting paragraphs m akes his strategy even m

ore transP arent:

a. "Ìn A ct I, C

aesa¡ criticizes A ttony

" b. "Then in A

ct Il there is another, m ore telling glim

pse " c. "C

aesa¡ acts no drfle¡entlv in the {ìnal 'A 'ct ofthe pla¡ In fact' he appears

m o¡e m

thless."

W hat reader isn't grateful fo¡ such clear signpostingof the ãgum

e¡t? W e

notice, too, a P rog"ression in the persuasileness of-the exam

ples E ach is

stronger than ìheiast, thus buildiig tow ard an intellectually and aestheti-

callv satisfring clim ar.

' S

. ítroig etidence: D anny has chosen representative exam

ples ''coverinq the Ã

tire tim e span oithe pla;t" H

e quietly draw s this to our

attenliori ro defuse the poisibìe objeãtlon thal the evjdence is slacked lfor exam

ple. alì f'¡om the first half ôf the play) ln addition- on four oc-

casions he'has quoted actual lines, ra'hich greatlv enhances the concrete- ,ness of the àxam

ples. M any students w

ould .sim ply argue by

s'eneralization. assum ing that the reader u'ill suppìy the appropriate tex-

ilr"l support. D anny prJper\'does the suppofiing him

self A ll the read-

er need do is read and enjoY 4. A

clean narcat¿ae i¿ne, There are no bum ps in this essay E

ach

sentence, each paragraph, is hinged on the one-that precedes it D anny

*"s abìe io "chi"u-e úir-fint continuiq because he had a clear plan of at- tack: he knew

w hat he w

anted to say and w hat he had to prove W

hen

1,ou knou, precisel;' v"here your essav has to go, you can tell" your ar-

il,^ent as'sim ply and cohérentlv as if it rvere a story' w

hich in a sense it is.

B ut ihe continuity is also the result of careful craftsm

anship N ote'

fo, inrtun"", alÌ the parallel structuring: the w ay paragraph 2- repeats the

nâttern of D âragrâph 1; the *a-v each oÍ those paragraphs ends u'ith a key

lenten"", th" 'åu p^t"gt"ph, á-i ^ll b"gtn "llke: the w ay the closing P

ara- sraph looks back tå ú""opãning p"t"graph' and so forth W

e have palterns i"r'". if,"' organize rhe ideas ioi us,"thÀ

silentlv tell us hou the pieces of the argum

ent relate to one anothe¡' '5. A

perxrasiae closing: The final paragraph l¡ a beautiful rvrap-up: succinct, båld, and com

pletJ enough to gathãr in all ihe m ajor points the

essay has been m aking \!'e feel them

now - luied in our m

em ory

¿u : <\ /, /,Ø *t

)'- '

r,'i ,4a¡

( -l

L">'ul"'o.- 6 l

Jl¡ ldl.' q;

N ;, k' ¡2u i eo-

L,¡ :*Y

'- L¡ [ .'1."d- a2' !**

lç n.¡, :-

| ,,"Y

fh" Im portanõe of C

ontinuitr <,¿ ++ ru::-

I't-," +fru ,4, ," ,è --l ry(1 Ft,- ,-.¿ t ' C

4zv ¡, o- V -t

, .\4¡hat follo¡s ìs really part ofthe ,.Final Tips,, section that concÌudes

thrs chapter but since iti both lengthy and w itall,v im

portant, I t_ant to drs- cuss it separately:

iltt

G ood w

riters are sticklers for continuity. They w on,t

let them selves w

rite a sentence tlat isn,t clearly con_ neqted to the ones im

m ediateþ preceding and foliow

_ ing it. They Ì{ant their prose to flow

, and they know this is the only w

ay to achieve that beautifr.l effect.

B ut how

a¡e these connections to be m ade? The bette¡ the

u'riter, the-less nô"d h", ha, for m echanicaÌ .""rx of.onn""ting t,,i,

ideas, too m anl, ofu,hich tend to ciutte¡ an argum

ent. Instead, he ¡e_ lies chiefl-v on a coherent understanding of i"hat he r¡,ants tá sar,, a sim

pie stvle, the occasjonal repetition oi key .rords, ancl tl.ie careful use of pronouns such as ¡his and that.In m

anne¡ he resem bles a fur

niture m aker r.vho uses interlocking tongues and grooves to do the

rvork of nails and scrervs. .

S om

etim es, though, a situation rvill require a m

ore etplicìt connec tive-such as u,-hen the direction of the argum

ent is turning o¡ u-hen an rdea is to be paralleled or cont¡asted rrith in earlier ide¿. li the.e situa_ tions. the w

riter rvill call upon a conjunctive adlerb o¡ brief transitional phtle 1o signal thc kind of thought thatt com

ing next. I call this ..sign_ posting" ân argum

ent. H ere he has choices u,ithin choices. A

s R ud"oll

Flesch_points out in The A rt of P

la¿n Talk, som e conjunctive adve¡bs ¿¡e

bookish-that is, used chiefly in print-ri,he¡eas othË

rs are conr.ersation_ al and for that reason less stuffl: In the list belorv. ihe boolesh ones ar.e fol_ lou,ed,in parentheses by t|¡6i¡ çe¡,r"rsational equívalents. K

eepin m ind.

though, that ihe equivalence in each case is afproxim ate. not pe¡fect.

N ote, too, that thc bookish adve¡bs can afford'ior, greater

,. arielv alrd precision of m

eaning-u,hich is doubtless u,h)., t, enãounter lhe,r'¡¡,rr.:

often in books than in conversatiorÌl

Frndam entaLs

above all accordingly (and so) adm

ittedlY again also besides but certainlY consequentþ (and so) finally fìrst for exam

P le

for instance furdrerm

ore hence (therefore) how

ever in addition (besides,

also) in conclusion indeed (in fact) in fact

--sòr

in particular instead in sum

m ary

Iikew ise (and)

m oreover

m ore specificalþ (for exam

P le)

nevertheless (but) nonetheless

. on the other hand rather (how

ever, instead) se¡ond sim

ilarlY 50still then therefore though thus (therefore, so) to sum

uP veL

It's a rather overw heLm

ing list' isn't it? (A nd it's- only a partial

"r".1 ii,,}'i'ri,";; ;;;;t

ofotransitional w ords indicates' am

ong

oiler things, just horl irnpo"unì 'ignposting an argum ent really is'

Ë :ä',*1ir:å;ät

m a gicail' happ" i; il'' c "

a t e d rhe srresl rvav I our

;"*]ï.tiì iio'" ¡o'u îou' i¿""i1"t"""' is by vour teìling her' These ¡re ihe r'ords vou telì her .uith ì;;*ti

uJu'k""p the iist,P roP

P ed

.l^- --'r fo'v,t-", t""""":¡i" "n """y lt rvill rem jnd

:f i:':i':1;.;"äã,. in" ¿l'"aionaì signals she needsr it.rvill'sa'e vou ìä:i'";,i;i

';;t^ ni'" bonu'l it *ilfsuggest an occasionar'new

a\'-

:;"loiìil¡;;;åpi"'i,' tn'pting 'our m

jn"Jto eçlore oiher direclions

"i:;*i-:;:i ; :'n'1 "'th"l""r tt'o'ugt.'t p"'n'pt' or a "consequenl l'' " or

a "for exam P

ìe "

Final Tips

7. 'W ell, u.¡hat dnes it finally adÅ

. up toP ', This is t}le readeri invari_

able question. Y our essay is tle repþ, '1t finally adds up to this, Ln ûW

opinion. ... ." D on't begin w

dting a final draft (there m av be m

o¡e than oael) until you have asked yourself the reader's question ánd understand dearl;' your intended repl;'- If ,vour repþ containi an original perception, ifit's debatable, ard ifyou've been able to state it in one s"it"n"å, it', , gooá thesÍs. trvow

go ahead and prove it. 2. Think ofy^ounelf

as a prosecuting attorney, think ofvour essay as i

a case, and think ofyour reader as a highþ skeptical jury 3. To prove your case, youlll-gene¡ally. have to substantiate seve¡al

lhings. The prosecutor. for exam ple, m

ust substantiate that the defendant had the m

otive, the m eans, and the opportunity to com

m it the crim

e. S o

dete¡m ine w

hat things you m ust subitãntiate, classify your ev.idence ac-

cording to those things, and then substantiale them , one at a tim

e.This is called "di.'iding up the proof." Ifyou folìow

tlis procedure, you'll find that structuring your essa1, is relatively sim

ple. 4. S

ignpost yorìr argum ent every step of the w

ay. Ifyou have three im

portant pieces of evidence to support a particuìar contention, tell your reade¡ so she can understand preciseþ w

here 1ou're going. Fo¡ instance: "Three exam

ples w ill bear this out. First, the original treaÇ

of 1923 . . . .- S

im ilarl¡ ifyou have three argum

ents and if one is stronger than the oth- ers, save it îot last and label it as the strongest. Fo¡ instance: "Finally and m

osf;e5rously. capital punishm ent strikes at the very basis of m

oraiit" itself." (a/ A

sserlions are fine. but unJess you prove tlem w

ith hard evidence, ¡ lhey rem

ain sim pìy assertions. S

o, assert, fhøn vrp po\1: ^sser+, then slppon: lLl asserf, then rupporl-and so on throughout your essay. R

em em

ber, eram - /

c{ ples anð,fac-ts are the m

eat of it. They do the actual convincing; they aìso I have their ow

-n eloquence. 6. S

om e paragraphs, Iike transitional and one-sentence paragraphs, are

specia.l-occasion devices and follow their ovn rules. (I'ìl be speaking m

ore about them

later.) The norm al paragraph, though, resem

bles a good essay: it has unitv by virtue of being organized around a single m

ajor point. S everal exam

ples m ay

be brought in to support tl-rat point, and several ideas to qualifl, it, and seueral sentences to illum

inate its im plications, but there's still only a síngb ruijor.p_oint.

"O ne m

ain contention per parâg-¿ph"-ít's a sensible guideline to folloi". If you dont follorv it, vour points w

ill tend to get lost, and so rvill your reader

IIII6Tf,r1ãË${Ht&TÉ

\

M ìddles

-l /.^,ztU I

.f t.*l.fu' -r'' L/L¿-*. .L.d-

L¿24¿-.it-t 48

Fundnnentals

7. Instead ol rierving the opening sentence of each paragraph as a topic sentence, as you'r'e probablv been taughi to do, trv this:

Ìúore than one student has said that's the single best tip the¡rve carried alvay from

their rvriting conferences u'ith m e. I sa1'' this onl;' to

underscore the difference it can nake in 1''our prose style. B elou' are a

num ber of paragraph openers from

a fam ous A

tlantíc M onthlg article

by' B ergen E

vans called "B ut !\rhat's â D

ictionary Fo¡?"-a revierv of N

{erriarn-\\¡ebster's revolutionary Third N

eu¡,: h'¿ternrLtíonal D ictionary '

The1. u'ill illustrate the bridging technique graphically,

a. l\ihat unde¡lines aìl this sound and fury'? b. S

o n-tonst¡ous a discrepancy in evaluation requi¡es us to exam ilìe brrsic

principles. c. I'et u-ild r¡,ails a¡ose. d. \'fore subth. but pe¡suasivel,-, it iras changed under the influence of m

ass education and the grouth of dem

ocracy. e. .\nd the paper. hare no chojcr. f. A

nd so back to our questions: w hat\ a dictionary for, and hor.', in Ì962,

can ìt best do w hat it ought to do?

g. E ven ir-ì so settÌed a m

atter as spelling, a dictionary calnot ahvays be absolute

h. H as he been betrarved?

i. U nder tliese ci¡cum

stances, w hat is a drctional' ro do?

j. Å

n illustration is fu¡nislied b,¡ an editorial ìn ihe \\äshington P

osÚ (Janu-

ar-'" 17, 1962). k. In part, the trouble is due to ùe lact that ihere is no standard fo¡ stanrìard

E ven out of context, these sentences suggest hou' skillfullv E

vans is guid- ing his readers-building bridges for us. persuading us. \4/e never com

e to a ,ì..t parag.^pl, .,'ondering, '1\'here am

I? H ot' did I get here?-' To repeat

a potûi I m ad¿ a lerv rnonrents ago: C

ontinuit\ doesnt m agically happen;

it's created.

..':

J ¿'-..--..-,

.-7 Ltosers

The nost enlpllatic place in a clause or senteace is the end. Thís ß the clim

zt; and, during the norn¿ntary paute that folloøs, that last aord continues, &

\ it Ø efe, to re1)erberate

ín the reader's m ind,. It hos, in fa.t, tha LJst tL:,ord. O

ne shoul.d, therefore thínk ttaíce about øhat one puts at a sentence-end.

-F.L. Lucas

\ [ /hat's going on in the m ind of a skilÌed rvriter as he approaches his

Y V

lìna.l p"t"gt"ph? Let s ¡evisit ou¡ capital-punishm ent ;ùdenr just as

he ¡eaches that juncture. P erhaps w

e can lísten in O

h-oh, he looks bad- -eyes glazed, body leaden. W e appear to be

calching him ât a very low

m om

ent: "This is ridiculous-m

y brain's turning to m ush, M

ay'be I'll just stop here. The piece is r,irtuaìly done anyrvay-I've m

ade m v m

ain points. B e-

sides, w hoì going to know

the difference?" (E

nter C onscience and C

on'¿m on S

ense. They beat back Fatigue.) "N

o, I guess I can't quit vet. B uckÌev w

ouldn't accept an argum ent

that m erely stops. H

e'lIw ant to see th e thing end, to enjov a sense ofclo-

sure. H e once said that's a basic aesthetic desire in all ofus. 'E

verv ¡eader w

ants his final rew ard

.' "Then, of course, theret the m

atte¡ of g'hat he'll be able to recall. S

ince m y m

em orv certainly has its lim

its, I'm su¡e his does, too .

. If that's the case, his sense of this piece is bound to be colored b1, the last sentences he ¡eads. M

y opener m ay have disposed him

to read eagerl¡,;49

& k