Group Development
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Transcript.docxTranscript: Benefits of Group Counseling
Hi, I'm Dr. Gina Barker. I'm here with
Dr. Gene Brooks. Dr. Brooks is a
faculty member in the Department
of Counselor, Education and
Family Studies here at Liberty
University. At this point,
you've become familiar with
different kinds of groups such as task
groups and teams, discussion and education
group support groups and self help groups, and also counseling
and therapy groups. The information that we're going to share with you today may pertain to a lot of these different
types of groups. But mainly we're
looking at this from the point of view
of counseling groups. Dr. Dr. Brooks, would
you please share a little bit about
your experience as a group
counselor? Sure. I worked in Texas for
over 20 years and at one time was facilitating over 16 groups a week. I did a lot of groups
for juvenile probation, but some of the most
powerful groups I did was working with Katrina victims after they were evacuated
into our area. I worked with kindergarten all the way through high school kids
in group therapy, and that was really,
very, very powerful. Did a lot of groups
with parents and juveniles that
were having problems. Since I've been here,
I've been teaching group dynamics and I've been here for nine years. Wonderful. So yeah, at this point you're
mainly involve in counselor education, and in that capacity
you're leading groups in experiential learning
contexts where they get to be in group and also lead
groups themselves. Hmm. So in your
experience, what is the most
important benefit of doing counseling in
group settings? Wow. So when a client, when you're working with
a client one on one, oftentimes when
you're being empathetic with a
client and truly empathetic and truly mean what you're saying and there's 100% percent truth to what you're saying. The client a lot of times looks back at you
and just says yeah. But you have to say that they feel like because
of the position you're in and everything that although what you're having to say to them is edifying and
it feels good, it's not something that they believe others
believe about them. In group, when you are
running group therapy, it offers so much
more room for growth because there's the truth about how group
counseling, the other group members help the
individual realize who they are to others. And we don't really
get that opportunity, much to have a
safe place to recognize how who I
am affects others. It's a positive and
a negative way, but most of the time
we are so painfully aware of our negative
impact on others. So we're aware
of our faults. So those aren't
necessarily going to come
as a surprise. But what is really
empowering is to see somebody just light up once they finally hear their other group members, their other peers say. Who you are to me is priceless because
how you affect me, even though you
have these faults, who you really are
is a blessing to me. And to be able to see that happen
as a facilitator is beyond a blessing
and humbling to be, allow God to use
us in a way to provide this safe
environment for all that to happen is beyond imaginable and
there's no way to experience outside
of group. Thank you. Why is it important
as a group leader to be aware of the
fact that groups develop going through
a predictable set of stages. Mm hm. The stages of group
that we talk about, the very predictable
group group is the very predictable
stages would be the beginning stage of the transitional stage, of the working stage, and then the
termination stage. And it's that
transitional stage that everybody really
wants to avoid. A facilitator's job in all the stages regardless, is to make this space between and amongst the group members
to make it safe. Oftentimes we do not have a safe place to
really be who we are. The facilitator's
job is to make this place
a safe place. In the beginning
stage, it's certainly about making this place a safe
place to show up. Then that
transitional stage, it's what they're
reading about, it's that Storming
and Norming phase. And it really is kind of when our
flesh shows up. When I'm teaching it, it's the beginning stage
is a honeymoon stage. The transitional stage is that period of
time when you realize that
your spouse has bad breath in the
morning, okay? And it's like, oh, but you don't really know
how to address that. And you really
want to stay in that honeymoon phase where everything's wonderful and beautiful and glorious. But the reality is, it is not always wonderful,
beautiful and glorious. And in group we
are who we are. Relationships
are chal***ging. And so in that
transitional stage, everybody kind of their
flesh starts showing. And nobody really knows
what to do with that. Because we don't,
as a culture, we don't as people, really know
what to do when you're sharing
your mess with me and I'm sharing
my mess with you. Sometimes we
just separate. Instead of walk
through that, the facilitator's
job is to actually make
it safe for us to find comfort in our discomfort or find a common place when things seem so disjointed. Or to find a place to say, you know what, I love you even
with your words. Can you love me
even with my words? And that's so powerful because once they
learn that in group, they can practice
it outside. So, so that's where the facilitator is going to be really working. Once they get to
the working stage, it's really everybody else is doing all the
work and you can sit back and just enjoy
as they are growing. And just like you have
front row seat to see people's growth and
that's so powerful. So that's really your job. All right. Very well said, one of the ways that you can tell
that you've arrived at the working
stage is that the group starts
becoming cohesive. Group cohesion has
been compared to the therapeutic
alliance that exists in individual
counseling between a counselor and
a counselles. Really the therapeutic
force, if you would. And I was wondering if you can share
a little bit about the group leader's
role in promoting, cultivating and maintaining
group cohesion. Yeah, so that group
cohesion is about helping your individual
group members learn first to trust you because you're
driving it, okay? So when everything
goes upside down in the
transitional phase, they're trusting
you because you're driving it. You're
really driving it. At that point,
that cohesiveness has to do with that trust. But as group members start sharing
who they are, you're helping link and help group members
find the connections. Because sometimes
they're so activated in their own discomfort
that they're not realizing how much
alike they really are. So you help link
and then help them communicate
and share in such a way that is
helping them build trust in each other and building trust
in the group. Okay, so when you're over in that
working stage, what you've got is
a very cohesive. It's like everybody
has equal investment into their own growth and into helping
each other grow. I a lot of times refer to this as teaching each other how to sit
well at the well. It's at the story in the Bible with Jesus sitting with the Samaritan
woman at the well. And she came so
dejected and so full of shame that
when she came, she saw this strange man. She didn't know what
to do, but he had so much love that
he poured upon her in that moment, that very brief exchange. Of course, he's, you know, Father, the Heavenly
Father in flesh. So his love is pure. But it was so pure upon
her that it changed her change who she was and it changed how she
affected others. So when she went back to the town that was
rejecting her, she became the
first evangelist. And so I talk about
when we're as a group sitting
with one another in our own mess
with our own shame, with our own brokenness, The facilitators job is to help each
group member to sit well at the well loving each other as
Christ has loved us. And in that love, it calms them enough to be able then to receive our Heavenly
Father's love. Sometimes we are
so activated and so agitated with
one another that we are so busy
fighting what's in front of me that we forget
what's above me. But if in sitting
with you, it calms me down enough
to just receive love, this love, then
it opens up. It activates my
whole system to receive the love
of the father. Makes sense. So it's
about sitting well at the well and that's
that cohesiveness. It's about helping
everybody understand. We're really all
here that there's a great song out there about we're all a mess, we're all broken,
we're all a mess. Come on, let's sit
together and be a mess. And that's what
group is and the facilitators job is to allow us to be
there. Make sense? Yeah. Wonderful.
Absolutely. Yeah. That's really well said. So we're just
going to wrap this up and I
wanted to ask you, is there any
particular advice that you would like to give an emerging group leader? Yeah, just got finished teaching group this week, it was an intensive
and I kept on saying facilitating
group is not for Wimps. And by the end of
the week, they were all agreeing it's not for Wimps, We
can all do it. Oh, very powerful
statement that was said by
a group member. Oh man, We all
wrote it down. And I told her I was
going to steal it. And she said, it's
not that I'm strong, I'm just willing
as a facilitator, you have to be willing to sit with others in
this brokenness. You have to be willing to allow the mess to show up. And you have to be
willing to stand firm and really provide that trust for them
to get past all that hurt and that pain so
they can find rest in. Ultimately, our
savior find rest in relating
with one another. We really have lost a skill of relating
with one another, and as facilitators,
we are blessed to be able to teach others
that skill. But it's not for Wimps. All right, well,
there you have it. So I hope that you've learned a lot from our little
presentation here. And I thank you so
much, Dr. Born, thanks for coming
out today. Thanks.
Group Counseling: Strategies and Skills Chapter 4
Transcript
Group Counseling: Strategies and Skills Chapter 4
?>> Hi, I'm Ed Jacobs, and I coordinate the counseling program at West Virginia University, and this is Chris Schimmel.
>> Hi, I'm Chris Schimmel, and I coordinate the school counseling master's program at West Virginia University. Ed and I, along with two of our colleagues are co-authors on a group counseling textbook called 'Group Counseling: Strategies and Skills'. Ed and I, together, for over 20 years, have been leading groups, and teaching group counseling in university and college settings. Today we want to talk to you a little bit about how to set up your groups.
>> How do you go about getting group members? What would you -- what is your thoughts on that?
>> Well, I think a lot of group members come from -- if you're in a school certainly, teacher referrals or maybe a school counselor gives a needs assessment and assesses what kinds of groups are needed by the students in the school. I think in a clinical mental health setting, you typically get clients referred by maybe the court system or even other therapists, or sometimes you can run a group and advertise for that, so I think those are all valid ways to constitute your groups.
>> How 'bout -- how many members should be in a group, and what should the leader be thinking about when he or she is setting up a group?
>> That's a tough question, Ed, because it depends. It depends on how long your group is going to be, the members, the age, the developmental levels of your group members. For most school groups and school counselors, I recommend groups between five, six, maybe seven students. For groups in clinical mental health settings, you may have groups of eight or 1ten members.
>> And educational groups can have ten or twelve, usually if it gets more than that, it becomes a class or a crowd. So, I would say most groups are under -- really under twelve, but under ten.
>> Under ten, yeah. I think certainly we've run into people all across the country that come to us with questions or struggles with leading their group. And we say, well how many members do you have? And they'll say 25 or 30, and we look at them and say, 'You know, that's not really a group, that's a class.'
>> What about screening? Do you think people should screen, and how do you do that?
>> Absolutely, I think it's imperative to screen. A lot of people are trained that everybody is suitable for the group counseling experience, but I think what I've found in practice and certainly in supervising students in my school counseling practicums and internships, there are some children and adolescents, and some adults that just aren't ready for the group experience.
>> Well, and also, I know we advocate this, not everybody should be in a group. And if you can screen them before by talking to the people and you realize that they shouldn't be in a group yet, they should be in individual counseling. Or you get them in the group, and it's two, three weeks in, sometimes you have to screen members out because if you let them stay in it, they suck the energy out of the whole --
>> Out of the entire group.
>> -- yes.
>> One of the things that we teach, and I think adhere to pretty soundly, I think you'll agree with this, is you never want to sacrifice the entire group because one member is really inappropriate or off target, or can't stay focused.
>> Yeah, I think so. What about -- this is just very nuts and bolts, how do you set up a room? I mean how does a group -- if you were -- yeah, what would you say?
>> It's one of the first things I certainly teach, and probably you do as well, I think always setting in a circle is a great group setup. I know a lot of school counselors out there don't have the opportunity to even have a good space, but if you can, a circle is good. I like to think that you're not all sitting around a desk. Certainly the way we teach conducting group counseling requires the ability to be flexible, and move around, and have members up moving around. So I prefer a circle.
>> Yeah, not a round table. Yeah -- you know, not a table in the middle where people can't do it.
>> Right, an open circle. Open circle, chairs in an open circle.
>> And if people are co-leading, should they sit next to each other, or --
>> I think it's always better to sit across from each other.
>> Not like what we're doing.
>> No, no. Sitting across from each other where you can look across the room at your co-leader, and pick up signals, and pick up queues from each other, and maintain a certain degree of eye contact, I think that's most helpful.
>> What about this length of the sessions? And I know it varies, but what advice do you have about that?
>> Well, you know, school counselors usually get about 20 minutes for a group, so the practice of running groups in school counseling can really be dictated by the school schedule. So a group can be anywhere from 20 minutes to maybe a therapy group in a clinical mental health setting may meet for two hours. So it really just depends on the setting and the group. I think the key is you have to take in two things; one, you have to take in your clients' developmental levels. Children cannot be asked to sit in group for hours, and hours, and hours, and you have to take their development into consideration. And then also I think when working with adults, you have to consider their circumstance. Do they have children they need to get home to? Do they have jobs the next day, so they can't stay extremely late at night for groups. So I think you have to take in all those kinds of considerations.
>> The other thing to think about is how often should a group meet? And I think the truth is, they -- some of them meet every day in certain residential settings. In schools, they would meet once a week, or once every two--. Yeah, and then there's certain ones where you meet every -- once every two weeks. I guess what would you -- how is the best way to summarize that idea about how often should groups meet?
>> At running the risk of sounding like a broken record, I think it's just going to depend. It's going to depend on how much time and attention those particular groups probably need from you.
>> Yeah, hopefully this helps you when you go to set up a group, you'll give thought to the different things that we addressed here in this short video.
>>We want to share with you today some ideas on a group leadership skill that we think is very important, and that's planning your group. So, Ed I wanted to ask you, what do you think about big picture planning? Like how do you go about planning a group in the big scope of things?
>> Well, I think, I know we use that term in our book. Big picture planning is getting the total picture if you were leading an anger management group or you were leading a drug and alcohol group. You have an idea of the topics you want to cover, so anybody that's setting out to plan a series of sessions and we'll talk later I think about a single session.
>> Mm-hmm.
>> But, big picture planning is that whole idea of what topics need to be covered, what would be interesting, is there some that shouldn't be covered at the first but maybe more in the middle?
>> Mm-hmm.
>> That's --
>> I know when I teach my school counselors how to lead groups, one of the assignments that they do at the end of that class is they have to plan a series of four groups that build, you know, that are part of the same group experience for that group of students, so we really want to encourage them to look at that big picture.
>> Oh, yeah.
>> What do you want to cover the first week? What do you want to cover the second week?
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. What do you think about planning each individual session? I mean, is it OK to just go in and sort of wing it off the cuff or do you have to have an individual setting?
>> I think that, I know it does you too, it drives us crazy when people just wing groups, and sadly, that's what a lot of people do partly because they don't know they didn't learn how to plan, but planning the session, I think, is very important just like we've got a plan sort of for what we're going to say here.
>> Right.
>> You know, because and not, I don't think you should stick to the plan rigidly when it's not working but --
>> Or something better comes and --
>> Yeah.
>> Mm-hmm.
>> But, absolutely I think you should plan your session and not wing it at all.
>> Mm-hmm. How specifically do you think or do you encourage your students, if you could comment on that, like how specifically should they plan the session?
>> Well, the way I teach is they plan what they're going to do at the opening, and what they're going to do in the middle, what they're going to at the end and really they plan, they make a guestimate, you know, sort of how much time that's going to take.
>> Mm-hmm.
>> Partly because then they got a sense, you know, especially if it's a group that's an hour-and-a-half like a parenting group. They get a sense of what they want to put in that group, and I think that is such an important thing, so I say be very specific, and I think a lot of people just write three words on a page, and I don't think that's as good.
>> Mm-hmm. I would agree. I teach that also that you really need to think through what are you going to do the first five minutes, what are you going to do the second ten minutes.
>> Yeah.
>> I really think that's true. What do you think leaders need to be aware of or know in regards to planning?
>> Well, like planning a session they need to know that there's three parts, a beginning or a warm-up and then there's the middle and then there's a closing.
>> Mm-hmm.
>> I think they need to know that.
>> Mm-hmm.
>> And the reason why they need to conceptualize it that way 'cause some people blow it, they let the, they either skip the beginning or warm-up, they jump right in or the warm-up takes twenty-five minutes of the forty-five minute group.
>> Mm-hmm.
>> So, they need to aware of the three phases of a session. I think that's real important for anybody that's thinking of leading groups, there's three phases. In the middle part, that middle phase if when they write a plan, they ought to think very much what are we're going to do? What's, where's the meat? Where's the depth of it?
>> Right.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. And the closing I think is so important. I know you and I shared a story about when I was in the internship, one of the groups I was leading, I didn't pay attention to the closing and the group didn't feel good to me or the members, so especially paying attention to how you close and process in those last few minutes I think is so important.
>> Yeah, so I guess to summarize this, if you're planning a group you plan the overall five or six sessions and get a big picture of what probably is going to be covered and that evolves but in any specific session, always be aware there's a warm-up, there's a middle and there's a closing.
>> Mm-hmm.
>> And I think the --
>> And you attend to those.
>> Yeah, you do.
>> In your plan.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. Thanks for joining us today, and good luck with your groups, and we hope this has encouraged you to plan for your groups.
· Watch: Group Counseling: Strategies and Skills Chapter 5
· Transcript
· Group Counseling: Strategies and Skills Chapter 5
· ?
· >> The first session of any group is of utmost importance and often the most difficult. The leader has many different dynamics and logistics to manage including helping members get acquainted, setting a positive tone, clarifying the purpose of the group, explaining the leader's role, explaining how the group will be conducted, addressing questions, facilitating interactions between members, helping members verbalize expectations, and closing the first session. That's a lot to consider but with some experience, you'll find different ways to infuse these elements into the first session. Now let's watch as Heidi opens the session. This segment demonstrates the beginning of a support group for those whose spouses are deployed.
· >> Hi everybody. My name is Heidi O'Toole and I have been hired to facilitate this group. The military has recognized how difficult it has been on families when the spouses have been deployed and so they hired me to run a support group for those of you that are in that situation, ok? What I'd like us to do just first off is go around and just give us your name, how many children you have, and who's deployed. Anybody can start if you like.
· >> I'd like to actually. I mean I know my husband is over there right now, but I don't know about this whole war thing. I mean I know that we're all here to talk about our spouses but I'm just not --
· >> Let me just go ahead and just -- let me just stop you right there.
· >> Ok.
· >> Why don't at first we just get you to say your name -- How many children you have and what one of your struggles are and then we can come back and process issues that are really bothering you.
· >> Ok.
· >> But let's just start by introducing ourselves, ok?
· >> Ok, well I'm Lauren. We have two kids; they're 4 and 2. My husband is over in Afghanistan right now and I guess the biggest struggle for me is just trying to deal with the fact if he's going to come home and try to be a single mom and all that you know?
· >> Ok.
· >> It's really emotional.
· >> Ok, thank you. Thank you.
· >> Ok.
· >> I'm Fran. My husband is in Iraq, we have 3 kids, and I just really miss him. I mean he's been my best friend since 7th grade.
· >> Morgan?
· >> My husband is in Iraq for a second time and we've got no children.
· >> Ok and your biggest struggle?
· >> Oh yeah, I'm Morgan, sorry, and --
· >> Morgan?
· >> My biggest struggle is not knowing when he's going to come home. They keep changing the date, so --
· >> Ok and I see a lot of you nodding and again we'll just -- we'll come back and talk a little bit more in depth about what your struggles are but I just really would like us to get to know each other first. Do you know -- do any of you know each other?
· >> No.
· >> Ok, so let's go ahead and finish now so we can at least start that.
· >> I'm Jen and my husband is a Naval Captain so he's in the Indian Ocean right now. Um, we have 2 boys; one is 10, one is 8. And I think my biggest struggle is that there's really not any type of communication on a consistent basis when he's at sea so that's really hard. And him being the captain, he's always giving those privileges to other people first so we're not talking a lot.
· >> Ok, that can be tough.
· >> My name is JP. My wife just got deployed about a month ago and she's going to be gone for at least a year. And we have a daughter that's 3 years old and my biggest struggle is I mean I just wasn't ready for this like, having to take care of our child by myself having her over there.
· >> Well I just want to say I'm glad you came. I think it took a lot of courage for you to come, especially with all the women here.
· >> And I just want to pick-up on what Morgan said. It really is -- it seems as if it would be an awkward situation if we just think about JP is the only man and he is the primary caretaker of his children and that's difficult for everyone, but it's good -- I hope you find some support here. I hope that we can really work on making you feel comfortable enough to get what it is that you need from this group.
· >> Thanks Heidi. The importance of establishing the proper atmosphere right off the bat cannot be overstressed. She made sure the group didn't turn into an anti-war discussion right in the beginning. Heidi tried to make people comfortable, especially JP since he was the only male. And she clarified the purpose of the group and what things would probably be discussed. She also facilitated members to share something right off by doing an introduction round. Now let's watch as Eric conducts the first session of a group of people coming to a mental health center to be in a support therapy group.
· >> I want to welcome you guys to group. I think one of the first things I would like to do is first of all say thank you guys for coming. I know this takes a lot of courage to be involved in the group process. I think maybe one of the first things I could do is maybe explain a little bit to you about my style and what this group is going to be about. One of the things you will notice is there will be a tendency for if you're getting a little long-winded, I may cut you off. And I want you to know I'm only doing that out of respect for the whole group, alright? And there will be times where I'm looking around as you're talking and I'm only doing that to see if there's something that someone else is displaying because of what you're saying and I want to make sure that I get them involved, alright? Something else about this group I want to make sure you understand is that there is a level of confidentiality that we have to maintain, alright? What we say, what we talk about here in this group, needs to stay here in this group. Can we get everybody to agree on that?
· >> Mm-hmm.
· >> Is everybody good with that? Ok, so while I have you guys here, welcome again. And as we talked about, we're going to talk about anxiety and depression; some of the things that you're dealing with right now. On a 1 to 10 -- 1 being a very low level of dealing with it, 1 is more extreme; 10 is, "I got it together" -- on a 1 to 10, where are you at dealing with what you're dealing with and who are you? Let's go --
· >> I'll start, yeah. I'm Lauren. I just worry about everything and it's -- I mean even like small things that normal people like wouldn't worry about. I -- like my mom is in good health, but I worry about her dying all the time. Like I'll constantly call her just to make sure she's ok.
· >> Give me a 1 to 10; where are you at.
· >> Um, probably about a 5.
· >> A 5?
· >> Yeah.
· >> Ok.
· >> Right in that area, yeah.
· >> Thank you. Thank you. How about you dear?
· >> I'm Jen and I'm probably about a 7 actually because I've been in groups before. I've done a lot of group work and I really like it. I find it helpful.
· >> What is the topic area? What is the thing that you're dealing with?
· >> Um, usually I've dealt with my addiction in the past, yeah.
· >> Ok, thank you. Thank you, thank you. How about you my man?
· >> My name is JP. I -- my therapist told me to come and I'm not really used to being around people, lots of them. I'm kind of uncomfortable.
· >> On a 1 to 10, where is that discomfort?
· >> Um, probably around like a 3; I'm just not used to being around people.
· >> Thank you for sharing that, I appreciate that. How about you dear?
· >> I'm Fran and I just get really anxious and nervous with you know new situations and meeting new people. I mean to the point that -- like last week I had to go to a doctor's office and I was just waiting in the waiting room and it just --
· >> Yeah.
· >> I actually got up and left. I just -- I couldn't --
· >> On a 1 to 10, where would you put that?
· >> Um, like a 2.
· >> Ok.
· >> Yeah.
· >> Thank you for sharing with us. How about you?
· >> I'm Jane and this is a big step for me because my therapist had been encouraging me to come like for 2 or 3 months. And maybe I feel like a 5 or so?
· >> What is the -- what is the thing that you're dealing with?
· >> Um, I have like bad anxiety and panic attacks.
· >> I appreciate you guys -- I appreciate you coming here. One thing I want to make sure you guys all understand is what we're going to do here is create an environment of unconditional positive regard. This is going to be a safe place for you to discuss this stuff and I want you to know something else; I'm honored to be a part of this process with you.
· >> Eric demonstrated a number of important skills here. He set a positive tone, clarified the purpose, tried to help members get comfortable. He didn't start with rules pertaining to confidentiality but does get a commitment from everyone. Too often leaders start with the group rules which usually sets a negative tone that's often boring. The key is to try to help members feel comfortable and to make sure members understand the purpose of the group and how it will be conducted. This next demonstration is the first session of a group of new teenage mothers. You'll see how the sentence completion makes it easy to get members talking and listening.
· >> So I'm so glad you all could come to group this evening. I'm really excited about you know our group and it being a real supportive environment. I tell you what before we really get started with any topics or discussion, just if we could Morgan I'd like to start with you and just go around this way. Say your name and how old you are and how old your child is.
· >> Well I'm Morgan, I'm 17 and my son is 4 months.
· >> Four months?
· >> Mm-hmm.
· >> Ok.
· >> Um, I'm Jen and I'm 17 and my little girl just turned 5 months today.
· >> I'm Fran and I'm 16 and I have a little girl and she's 6 months.
· >> Six months, ok.
· >> Hi I'm Megan and I just turned 17 and my daughter is only 4 weeks old.
· >> Oh, a tiny baby?
· >> Yes.
· >> My son is 4 months. I'm Lauren and I'm 16.
· >> Ok.
· >> Yeah.
· >> Ok and 4 months?
· >> Mm-hmm.
· >> Alright. So we have different -- the babies are all different ages so you're all dealing with different things I'm sure that go along with those different ages.
· >> Yeah.
· >> Yeah, I was thinking about -- one thing I was curious about too is where are you currently living? What are your living arrangements right now because I know that some of you have different kinds of living arrangements? Jen or?
· >> Well my parents are divorced so sometimes I'm at my mom's; sometimes I'm at my dad's just depending on the situation.
· >> So you and the baby kind of go back is forth?
· >> Yeah, yeah.
· >> Ok, that can be difficult I'm sure.
· >> Mm-hmm, yeah.
· >> Yeah.
· >> Yeah.
· >> What about others of you?
· >> I live with my mom.
· >> Mom?
· >> Yeah and my little sister.
· >> Ok.
· >> I'm just at my grandma's but you know what it's really hard because she's more into my you know daughter. It's like she's -- more like she's her daughter than her granddaughter.
· >> Oh, so that probably creates some challenges for you.
· >> Yeah.
· >> Morgan or Megan, where are you currently living?
· >> I live with my grandma and her boyfriend so it's kind of crazy sometimes.
· >> Ok.
· >> I live with my mom and my stepdad.
· >> Ok, so you all have different living arrangements. So different aged children and living arrangements so all of these are topics that -- and things we can talk about in the group you know provide support for but let's go ahead and really get started with some things here this evening. I have this sentence completion. There are 3 sentences on here so if you would, take one of these. And Fran I might let you pass those around.
· >> Ok.
· >> Thank you.
· >> If you will just take a few minutes and you don't have to write a lot. I mean don't feel pressured to write a whole bunch of stuff, but just if you will, finish those 3 sentences. Just take a few minutes and do that. Take just a few more seconds. Like I said, you don't have to write anything wrong just maybe a word or a couple of ideas that might get you thinking about. Ok? Ok. So let's look at this first one; the hardest thing about being a teen parent is?
· >> Not getting to go out anymore.
· >> Yeah.
· >> It's like I feel like I've lost all my friends.
· >> Yeah.
· >> You know it's like even the ones that said that they would be there and be supportive. Like they're gone; I haven't seen them in months.
· >> Ok, so the social piece.
· >> My -- I'm kind of a little bit different. I'm afraid that people are going to judge me for not being a good mom because I am so young and I think that gets emotionally hard sometimes.
· >> Ok, so there's this social aspect and relationships with friends. And then also how people view you?
· >> Mm-hmm.
· >> Ok, others of you, the hardest thing? What is the hardest thing?
· >> I mean mine's been all of that but I just put the change. It has just been like my entire life has just been turned upside down.
· >> So the next one says, "The biggest change."
· >> Yeah.
· >> You would say, "Everything."
· >> Everything. Everything.
· >> Yeah.
· >> Yeah.
· >> I don't think I could just pick one thing.
· >> It would be hard to pick just the one thing? It's like your whole life has sort of been topsy-turvied. Ok.
· >> Well for me the biggest change is like I'm now responsible for another person. Like there's this little person that I have to consider in all decisions that I make.
· >> Mm-hmm.
· >> Yeah and that even almost goes with my biggest fears. Like I'm so afraid of like being so mad at her that I start to hit her the way that my dad used to me, so --
· >> Let's maybe talk about that.
· >> After a brief introduction, Chris dove right in knowing that the sentence completion would get members talking. There are many ways to begin and you'll want to give thought to the opening few minutes of the first session. Sometimes it's good to use ice brokers, although many times it's better to use activities that are relevant to the overall purpose. For serious groups such as crisis hotline training or dealing with cancer, ice brokers that are fun and cute can take the members away from the reasons they're coming to the group. We encourage all leaders to think through how to conduct the first few minutes of the first session.
