click lick on poem just need some minor changes

Feedback need to be adjust

Job well done with the drafting process! Your poems are great!

For your revision, I'd like you to try reading through out loud and making small yet meaningful adjustments. For example, where is there a word you can change or an image still to add that will further the connection with your readers?

General Reminders:

* Poems in this assignment should focus on maintaining the balance of content and structure, word choice, line breaks, rhyme, and meter. The secondary focus should be the ordering of the three pieces and the presentation as a collection. Consider how these poems work together even if they seem to be striving towards doing different things.

* The three poems have no specific required length but should be substantial for the intended purpose.

* Format as follows: 12 point Times New Roman font with one-inch margins. Use MLA formatting and citations as needed. (Note that I do not require research for this assignment.)

With those reminders, continue to develop, clarify, add to, and revise. Your revision is due before midnight on Sunday. Remember to keep copies of all drafts for inclusion in the Final Portfolio.

As with all other revisions, please highlight changes.

Three Poems

name

course name

Professor name

August 2, 2020

Three Poems

SHEDDING OFF MY OLD MAN

Slithering beyond and by the river Thales

I crawled with majesty and clamor

With my in-genuine tongue-twisted tales 

My witty words, hissing sound like tremor

Nourished by the earth dirt I eat daily

I shook nations with my skillful words

And yet I was degenerating mainly

And falling into the spider's chords

Crying cross, my long youthful oldness 

But if any serpentine man turns around

And sheds off his oldness into the newness

He is restored back to original round

I pill off my worldly covering here, 

My very fig leaves, their sound I hear 

 MURDER WEAPON

Seated in the midst of the garden, tall standing 

The gunman hides amongst the Citadel woods

The mist wafts by, cycling the surrounding

Like a cyclone he roved across the hoods

His motives barricaded in his sensuality

His inner intents, his very life overruled

Covered amongst roses his masculinity 

And his will pressed upon the trigger he just pulled

He lay beneath the oak-tress of Reagan 

Focused, counting seconds elapse, he cooled

And elaborate in his sight he pointed his weapon

His lenses spinning through the space like a comet

Burning beyond ages, he killed Jupon

His dearly friend with beauty, his death he met

SUNFLOWER

I wondered by the streams of my way 

And I met this sunflower that I loved 

Evening and morning were the very first day

She spoke with words that in my soul still roved 

How could I let her go, how could this happen?

My love I write with paper and pen

Come home soon, your image I still await

More of you, I dreamed last night, I wept

Do not go so far love, please for me just wait

What love story in memorial books be kept?

Sundays and sacraments, I drink and eat

In clubs I roast and drink out my truest self

I like your image and sometimes retweet

Till the end I will live in your bookshelf