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“The Wedding Fight”

Background

Kyle and Kelly have been dating for three years. They’ve recently become engaged and are planning their upcoming wedding (1 month away).

Kelly: Hey, guess what. We got our invitations today. We can write up our final list and mail them out this weekend.

Kyle: I thought you were doing that.

Kelly: You thought I was doing that? You always say you’re going to help, but when it actually comes down to it, you don’t. Or should I say won’t.

Kyle: You know it’s finals, and I have to study. I just don’t have the time.

Kelly: So what do you think I’ve been doing, sitting on my backside? Besides, since when did YOU decide to become a serious student?

Kyle: (under his breath) Here we go again. More like my mother every day.

Kelly: Why don’t you say it loud enough so I can hear it? What exactly is that supposed to mean anyway? Maybe I wouldn’t have to act like your mother if you didn’t act like such a child!

Kyle: Well, somebody’s gotta relax around here. You’re so uptight, and I don’t just mean about the wedding invitations.

Kelly: What do you mean, uptight?

Kyle: Cold, totally disconnected.

Kelly: How am I cold?

Kyle: Like it takes a genius to figure it out.

Kelly: You don’t care about this wedding at all. Do you even care about me at all?

Kyle: That’s ridiculous. You’re right—-I couldn’t care less about the wedding. It’s the wedding night I’m worried about.

Kelly: Oh my God, I can’t believe this is about sex. I’m talking invitations and you’re talking sex. That’s all you care about. Well, sex and football. I don’t know if I’m madder about the wedding or the stupid football games we go to every single week, Mr. Serious College Student. You have plenty of time for that.

Kyle: What do you mean—We haven’t gone the last two weekends because of all this wedding planning.

Kelly: (sarcastically) Well, aren’t you the perfect martyr. You’ve given up so much for me. I’m impressed!

Kyle: (exasperated, but resigned) You know what—just tell me what to do and I’ll do it. I’ll write the stupid invitations.

Kelly: You could start by picking out your tux.

Kyle. I did. You didn’t like it. Big shocker there.

Kelly: What do you expect me to say about a white tux—nobody wears white tuxes anymore.

Kyle: Well, I like it, and that’s what I’m going to wear.

Kelly: Oh, come on. You’re not really going to wear that. Even your Mom said you should wear something more serious. Black would be better.

Kyle: Are we planning for a wedding, or a funeral?

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