communication

The problem of poor listening is nothing new. In his play King Henry the Fourth, Part II, Shakespeare referred to "the disease of not listening." Stephen Covey said, "Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply." 

1) Complete the Listening Self-Evaluation (located in Unit II Content). According to the self-evaluation, are you a good listener? 

2) Choose a specific case of poor listening in which you were involved. Explain what went wrong. What could be handled differently if you had a "do-over?"

3) View Julian Treasure's speech, 5 Ways to Listen Better. Try one or two of the exercises and share your experience. (Yes, you must actually try one of these exercises). Which exercise do you find the most helpful? Why?

Be sure to reference Lucas with a page number and respond to 2 classmates.

1. I have to admit, I have never been a good listener. I always give in to distractions and internal thoughts. I scored a 50 on the Listening Self-Evaluation.  I always struggle when I am in a seminar, meeting or even church, it is always hard to focus. I am always thinking of so many other places I would rather be or what I want for lunch. While I know it is important for me and my family to be at church and worship, I struggle with focusing on the speaker. I have a really great preach at my church and he always delivers an amazing message, but I am just not the best listener. Even when we have zoom meetings for work, I am always focused on something else and not the person who is speaking.

I like Julian Treasures, 5 Ways to Listen Better, and need to try and use these steps to become a better listener. I love the step to “Adjust”, to change you listening position.  I need to be more conscious of the speaker as well as adjust my attitude.

Lucas first states in chapter 3 that “We fake paying attention”. (Lucas, 2020, p. 44). I believe this is so true for many, while some people are really good listeners and pay attention, most of us just fake it, and I will admit I tend to take fake paying attention even if I don’t mean to.

2. According to the Listening Self-Evaluation Table’s scoring putting me at a 78, I listen well to others. This tracks pretty well in most of my life, but an instance in which I did not listen very well is a recent conversation with my girlfriend.

I was in the middle of a lengthy homework session because I was trying to get all of my assignments for the week done so that I could drive to Chattanooga to see her after class the following day and not have to worry about homework. She had called me while I was writing a paper, wanting to just chat and talk about her day which is great and I love hearing about that from her, but since I was more so focused on my paper, I responded with uh-huh’s, oh really’s, and other not so great responses. I feel bad for responding to her in that manner, so if I could have a do-over I would take that 10-minute break to really listen to her talk about her day and show her that I do care about what she says.

Something that I normally do is very similar to Treasure’s RASA exercise. Typically whenever anyone or my girlfriend is talking to me, I receive, appreciate, summarize, and ask accordingly about the interaction. It helps me out quite a bit in daily life and it makes other people feel like you care about what they’re saying.