Assignment #1

COMPUTER GAMES

Marsha H. Levy- Warren

Tamara, a withdrawn young woman of sixteen, sits in my offi ce. I fi nd myself asking one question after an- other. Her responses are most often monosyllabic. I sense her frustration and my own.

In one exchange, about her life- long struggle with sleep, I ask her what she does when she can’t sleep. She says that she spends the night on the Internet “talking.”

“Who do you communicate with on the Net?” “Lots of people.” So this silent young woman is talkative on the In-

ternet. I am curious about this other self. I ask her if she would like my email address.

“Yeah, sure.” What evolves is remarkable in my thirty- year clin-

ical experience: the quiet Tamara I know in the offi ce begins to write to me almost every night. In this cor- respondence, she introduces me to another version of herself. Taciturn in person, in her emails Tamara is funny, chatty, insightful, charming. Her messages are usually brief, but their contents are far- ranging. She writes about her parents and her friends and her strug- gles with teachers. Yet during all this, she remains si- lent in the offi ce.

For weeks, my efforts to talk in person with Ta- mara about her emails prove futile. When I mention something from an email, she tells me she doesn’t want to talk about it. A turning point comes late one night,

C o p y r i g h t 2 0 0 8 . T h e M I T P r e s s .

A l l r i g h t s r e s e r v e d . M a y n o t b e r e p r o d u c e d i n a n y f o r m w i t h o u t p e r m i s s i o n f r o m t h e p u b l i s h e r , e x c e p t f a i r u s e s p e r m i t t e d u n d e r U . S . o r a p p l i c a b l e c o p y r i g h t l a w .

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78 Marsha H. Levy-Warren

online. I tell Tamara I am tired and need to go to sleep, but that I want to continue our exchange about an incident she has just described in an email. I ask if we might follow up in my offi ce. To my surprise, she re- sponds with an email that says: “Sure, why not?”

Slowly, a bridge forms between who Tamara is in her emails and who she is in my offi ce. I ask Tamara if she can see the difference between the Internet ver- sion of herself and the shy girl she initially presented to me. She nods, but points out that she has brought the more assertive self into our face- to-face relationship: “I’m here now, like this, right?”

Writing in the psychodynamic tradition, Erik Erik- son describes how adolescents concretely imagine a fu- ture, stressing the importance of visualization in this playful process.1 Using the Internet, Tamara both imag- ines and plays at a future, more expressive self. In our therapy, she practices it. The therapeutic exchange is a place where the imaginary becomes real.

In adolescence a stable sense of self is disrupted: adolescents change both inside and out, and need to reassess who they are once these changes have begun.2 These days, adolescents use the Internet and computer gaming in this work, and psychotherapy is enriched by tapping into their signifi cant use of media. Clinicians may go online with adolescents in the consulting room or, at the very least, talk with them about their online lives.

Psychoanalyst D. W. Winnicott describes his thera- peutic practice as a creative play space, a transitional space in which children’s development can occur.3 This is the kind of space today’s therapy can achieve with active exploration of an adolescent’s use of the Internet and computer games. Online choices and experiences can be examined, elaborated, and worked through.

Computer games occupy a unique position in ado- lescents’ lives, a space between reality and imagination. In that space, adolescents play at being who they are becoming; in therapy the elements of that play can be

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articulated and refi ned. With the increasing maturity of adolescence, young people understand more about the complexity of the outside world and who they can be- come in it.4 Adolescents use computational play to make sense of the world at the same time that they escape from it. In creating ideal selves in games, they imagine them- selves as if they possessed characteristics that might embolden them to approach those to whom they are at- tracted, or fi ght those by whom they feel aggrieved.

Erikson describes two theories of play: trauma and functional theories.5 Trauma theories describe play as a place to release emotions that were repressed when individuals were overwhelmed in the past. The individ- ual repeats the traumatic situation in play to master what was originally overwhelming or to create a new outcome.6 In contrast, functional theories focus on play as a means for an individual to apply new capacities, for example, intellectual capacities, to the experience of their trauma. What was once beyond understanding or acceptance becomes comprehensible and bearable.

Tamara’s life on the Internet exemplifi es both kinds of play. In fantasy gaming, she relives prior trauma with new mastery and new intellectual and emotional capacities. In one game, she plays a warrior fi ghting against injustice. As a child, Tamara felt terri- fi ed, indeed paralyzed, as she witnessed the repeated physical abuse of her younger sibling. The warrior game gives Tamara the opportunity to see herself as active and forceful, rather than frozen and frightened. In the game, Tamara becomes more of who she once could only wish to be. There is reparation. And in her conver- sations with me, she is able to rework this material with new perspective.

Joanie

Joanie, thirteen, is bright and articulate, but overweight and unhappy. She comes to me to talk about her prob- lems with girlfriends and her unhappiness about her

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80 Marsha H. Levy-Warren

weight. She feels addicted to a particular computer fan- tasy game. She says she plays it “incessantly,” often at times when she should be doing homework.

J: I know I shouldn’t do it, but I just can’t resist. ML- W: Any sense of what is so irresistible about the game? J: I really like who I am in it. You know, I created a character. It’s a fantasy game. ML- W: Can you tell me what your character is like? J: Yeah, sure. She’s adventurous, kind of sassy, funny . . . also, a bit fl irty . . . and kind of forward, socially.

Joanie’s involvement with her made-up character helps her sustain an image of who she wants to be. The image is potent. It carries her through a year of steady weight loss, during which she is able to eat more sensibly and to exercise. Joanie is animated when she talks about the character and the game, more animated than when she speaks about anything else. In therapy we try to reconcile who she is in the game and who she is in daily life, a person Joanie calls “everyday Joanie.” The char- acter has an aggressive quality that “everyday Joanie” does not acknowledge but starts to own as she dis- cusses her online self.7

In therapy, Joanie begins to talk about her sense of defeat. She sees female classmates who seem to have less of a struggle with their weight and male class- mates who are not romantically interested in her. These topics, formerly taboo, are opened up in conversation about her online self, someone who would not have these problems.

In therapy, Joanie and I explore why she does not feel able to compete with her girlfriends and how she uses her weight to remove herself from the competi- tion for male attention. Through her avatar and then conversation with me, Joanie is able to take feelings

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that otherwise might have been too humiliating to dis- cuss and channel them toward increasing her will to change.8 The combination of gaming and psychother- apy helps her regulate feelings that might have stood in the way of her further growth. Gradually, her depres- sion lifts. She feels closer in the real to the person she plays in the game and plays the game less.9

Recently, several years after ending our therapeu- tic work, Joanie returned to see me. In trying to become closer to her ideal, she encountered limitations that she now wants to address as a more mature person. She wants to work further on her relationships with boys, still easier in the virtual than in the real.

In adolescence, young people try to align who they are now with who they wish to be, in other terms, with their ego ideal. They refi ne this ego ideal using their maturing capacities for self- observation. It is important that the ego ideal be realistic so that the adolescent can feel in sight of his or her goals and keep self- criticism at bay. In Joanie’s case, fantasy games helped organize her aspirations.

For Joanie, the online experience works largely in her favor. But some adolescents may become compla- cent in their games, afraid to take the risks that come with face- to-face relationships.10 Joanie and I talk about such fears when she comes back to psychotherapy. She describes not becoming who she wants to be with boys in the real world. Joanie is still drawn to online games to escape her intense feelings of disappointment. Our work continues.

Billy and Lawrence

Billy, sixteen, is intelligent, handsome, and kind. Al- though he has friends, he feels marginal, “behind in the game.” It was he who asked his parents if he could see a therapist. He begins our fi rst session with a description of his problem:

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82 Marsha H. Levy-Warren

B: I feel like a fraud. I talk a good line, but I really feel like I don’t know what’s going on. ML- W: Everywhere? Or are you talking about some particular place or with some particular people? B: I guess it’s just with kids, in general. I mean, I have my friends—but they’re a lot like me. ML- W: And what are they and you like? B: Nice guys, basically. Not into the macho thing. And girls who like guys like us. But with every- body else, I act like I’m more cool than I am. You know, like I’m into the blood and guts stuff. ML- W: Does it feel like you have to be into that stuff? B: Hey. I’m a guy, you know? ML- W: And? B: And guys are supposed to be into being tough, right? ML- W: Even in these politically correct times? B (in an irritated voice): That’s an adult thing. There’s not much of that among the people I know. You’re still a faggot or a girl if you’re a guy who’s not into sports or willing to fi ght. ML- W: You sound kind of angry when you say that. B: Look, I don’t think much of this political cor- rectness stuff. I feel like there’s no room to just be anymore, you know? It’s like someone is always telling you what’s okay to be and what isn’t.

Billy is having trouble coming to terms with what kind of man to be. He does not respect media messages about the macho ideal, but he senses that the “chill” demeanor he affects in front of his friends does not tell a complete story about who he is. After all, at night, usu- ally with his male friends, he plays violent video games for hours on end. His lack of consistency makes him feel like a fraud. He cannot reconcile the several aspects of himself.

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Billy’s “nice guy” presentation enables him to con- tinue something of his childhood persona. Billy has not caught up with his body, his changed physical appear- ance, and increased aggressiveness. When Billy and I talk about his gaming, he fi nds a way to own his new feelings: we come to see that taking the role of violent characters puts him in touch with his new adolescent aggressivity. We talk about how, in front of his friends, he is able to demonstrate his competitive urges and how this helps him to feel “more like a man.”

When Billy and I talk about games, we have a con- text for discussing when aggression is needed in “real life.” In our therapeutic work, Billy’s “either/or” think- ing (he is either the nice guy or the violent one), char- acteristic of childhood, gives way to “and” thinking, the synthetic thinking that is one of the achievements of adolescent development.

When adolescence comes around, it is not easy to be a man and be sweet. It is out of keeping with cul- tural gender stereotypes at a time when they are of the utmost importance. Billy’s task is further complicated by the ever- present images of violence in media. But in video and computer games such as Mortal Kombat and the James Bond series, Billy sees and accepts his ag- gression and competition as appropriate to the game context. (James Bond needs to use guns to fi ght his foes.) By expressing his anger in the game, Billy feels that he “got it out”11 and can visualize himself (like the characters in the games) as a person of strength and focus. The games become a ritual in which aggression feels codifi ed and safe.12

Another patient, Lawrence, age twelve, serves as a counterpoint to Billy. For Lawrence, involvement with violent video games has not been constructive. In child- hood he was diagnosed with pervasive developmen- tal disorder. Years of psychotherapy have helped him become more socially appropriate and have greater impulse control, yet as an early adolescent he is still

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84 Marsha H. Levy-Warren

socially clumsy. I learn about Lawrence from his thera- pist, who consults with me about how to respond to fantasies he is having about her. Lawrence wants to un- button his therapist’s blouse and touch her breasts but worries that it may “not be okay” to have such thoughts. In talking to his therapist about his wishes, Lawrence refers to a James Bond video game to pose his question about what is appropriate. His therapist says:

He asked whether girls and women liked to have their men be very forceful when the men wanted them in a sexual way . . . that he had been watch- ing James Bond movies and playing a James Bond video game, and he knew that lots of women found James Bond to be very attractive . . . and that James Bond was violent but charming with his enemies and with the women that he wanted. It was striking to me that Lawrence seemed utterly sincere in this question—that he really did not seem to be able to distinguish between what goes on in real life and what goes on in the movies.

Unlike Billy, Lawrence is at risk, an example of some- one with a diminished capacity to distinguish reality and fantasy.

Adolescents often experience their strong feelings in surges, with heightened experiences of marginality and loss, excitement and anger. Computer games pro- vide a new way to calm themselves: the focus required by the games can organize them.13 Adolescents play the games over and over again; their very repetition can be soothing, a counterpoint to inner turmoil.

Like all good play experiences, computer games can lead to feelings of effi cacy that are critical to healthy development. And yet, vulnerable adolescents can be incited by the games, not to master their aggression but to act on it. In the study of adolescence and media, in- teractions are dynamic and need to be explored in fi ne

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detail. The contribution of clinicians to the literature on computer gaming will surely be to reinforce the point that any simple generalizations about “the impact of games on development” fall short of the mark.

Marsha H. Levy- Warren is a psychologist and psychoanalyst who is on the faculty and a supervisor at the NYU Postdoctoral Program in Psychoanalysis, and a Training and Supervising Psychoanalyst in the International Psychoanalytical Association.

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