Final Paper

Proofed Paper: ntp704185 - Wed Oct 9 13:28:31 EDT 2019

Paper Title:

No. of Pages: 20

Paper Style: APA Paper Type: Descriptive

Taken English? Yes English as Second Language? No

Feedback Areas: Grammar & Mechanics, Citations & References

Paper Goals: grammar, APA format, sentence structure

Proofing Summary:

Hello Deanna

Thank you for submitting your assignment. I enjoyed reading your paper on program development at

Jamestown College.

Strengths:

You do a skillful job of presenting information to the reader. You are well organized, and provide a

detailed analysis. Good job on the effort you have put into this long writing piece. Your hard work is

paying off!

Suggestions:

* Developing ideas

* Research/citation

I have marked an issue with repeated content, both in the body of the paper as well as on the

references pages. Try not to duplicate content, as that could cause readers to disengage from your paper.

Also, please make sure that you are composing your in-text citations properly. Here are two ways that

you can set up a citation, which works for quoting or for summarizing and paraphrasing. The first is

use of a signal phase, and the second is a parenthetical citation:

Quotations:

1. As LastName (year) states, “quote” (p.#).

2. “Quote” (LastName, Year, p.#).

Paraphrasing:

1. As LastName (year) states, paraphrase.

2. Paraphrase (LastName, Year).

In addition, each source in the References must connect to a citation in the paper, and each citation in

the paper must connect to a source in the References, and start with the same word(s) listed

alphabetically on the last page. For assistance with citations and references, please visit our Research

and Citations page:

https://www.atomiclearning.com/highed/movie/81543/play_window?sid=2338&cn=snhu:

If you would like to submit a revision of your paper, you are welcome to do so. We look forward to

helping you succeed. Keep up the good work!

page 1 / 24

Proofed Paper: ntp704185 - Wed Oct 9 13:28:31 EDT 2019

You have a good start to your title page. Here’s what to include:

https://www.atomiclearning.com/highed/movie/81532/play_window?sid=2338&cn=snhu

page 2 / 24

Proofed Paper: ntp704185 - Wed Oct 9 13:28:31 EDT 2019

Try not to use the word "like" in

your paper. "Like" means it

shares similarities with

something else. Use "as"

instead.

This phrase seems awkwardly

worded. Also, these verbs

should all follow the same

verb structure.

See my note on this source in the

references, and be sure the first

word matches the citation.

Use the comma to indicate

a pause in speech.

Format body text flush left and

ragged right.

page 3 / 24

Proofed Paper: ntp704185 - Wed Oct 9 13:28:31 EDT 2019

Start the last clause on a list

with a conjunction. Also, use

the colon rather than the

semicolon to introduce a list.

Use a preposition here.

Also, watch for repetitive

wording in your sentences.

Could this be rewritten to

sound less repetitive?

page 4 / 24

Proofed Paper: ntp704185 - Wed Oct 9 13:28:31 EDT 2019

Watch for typos.

When two or more works have

the same author and publication

year, you must label the works a,

b, etc. after the year and include

those letters in the in-text

documentation. Example:

(Author, 2007a) or According to

Author (2007a). Be sure the

same references are applied on

the References page.

page 5 / 24

Proofed Paper: ntp704185 - Wed Oct 9 13:28:31 EDT 2019

When describing an

action, the sentence

should explain who is

doing the action. Here it

is unclear who is finding

out.

page 6 / 24

Proofed Paper: ntp704185 - Wed Oct 9 13:28:31 EDT 2019

Try not to repeat the

same content. The first

section that describes the

institution uses the same

wording.

page 7 / 24

Proofed Paper: ntp704185 - Wed Oct 9 13:28:31 EDT 2019

Great job on your paper so

far. Please use my notes

above to help you revise the

rest of your paper. For the

remainder of the paper I will

be skimming the paper for

content and focusing on

in-text citations, your

conclusion, and the

References page.

page 8 / 24

Proofed Paper: ntp704185 - Wed Oct 9 13:28:31 EDT 2019 page 9 / 24

Proofed Paper: ntp704185 - Wed Oct 9 13:28:31 EDT 2019

Be consistent with your capitalization.

Did the size of your font

change? The entire paper

should be written in Times New

Roman 12 pt. font.

page 10 / 24

Proofed Paper: ntp704185 - Wed Oct 9 13:28:31 EDT 2019

Use “and” in the body of the

paper, and the ampersand (&) in

parenthetical citations, and on

your References page.

page 11 / 24

Proofed Paper: ntp704185 - Wed Oct 9 13:28:31 EDT 2019

The citation must match the

first word(s) of the source in

the references.

page 12 / 24

Proofed Paper: ntp704185 - Wed Oct 9 13:28:31 EDT 2019

Place the entire citation in

parentheses, and use just

one period after the citation.

page 13 / 24

Proofed Paper: ntp704185 - Wed Oct 9 13:28:31 EDT 2019

Use "and" and always follow

their names with publication

year.

page 14 / 24

Proofed Paper: ntp704185 - Wed Oct 9 13:28:31 EDT 2019 page 15 / 24

Proofed Paper: ntp704185 - Wed Oct 9 13:28:31 EDT 2019

I was unable to find these

sources listed alphabetically in

the References.

page 16 / 24

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Proofed Paper: ntp704185 - Wed Oct 9 13:28:31 EDT 2019 page 19 / 24

Proofed Paper: ntp704185 - Wed Oct 9 13:28:31 EDT 2019

I was unable to find this

source in the references.

Also, try and end your paper

with a last word in your own

words, rather than source

material.

page 20 / 24

Proofed Paper: ntp704185 - Wed Oct 9 13:28:31 EDT 2019

When writing titles in your

References, capitalize just the first

letter of the first word, the first

word after a colon, and all proper

nouns. All caps are only used in

the running head.

page 21 / 24

Proofed Paper: ntp704185 - Wed Oct 9 13:28:31 EDT 2019

You have listed this source

twice. Remember to place

them in alphabetical order.

You have also listed these

sources twice (but start with

"the" for the second set).

page 22 / 24

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Proofed Paper: ntp704185 - Wed Oct 9 13:28:31 EDT 2019

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