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diamond book notes

Notes on Getting More by Stuart Diamond

1 thinking differently

Be dispassionate and calm

Prepare and collect thoughts

Find the decision maker

Focus on ur goals, not who is right

Make human contact

Acknowledge the other party's position and power, valuing them

Main lessons of book

Goals are paramount

It's about them

Make emotional payments

Every situation is different

Incremental is best

Trade things you value unequally

Find their standards

Be transparent and constructive not manipulative

Always communicate, state the obvious, frame the vision

Find the real problem and make it an opportunity

Embrace differences

Prepare: make a List and practice with it

Invisibility

Tools actually invisible to others

His Opening for negotiation: "what's going on?"

Complain about weather or area both hate; find common enemy

Book not about

Power or leverage

Batna

Bargaining range

New definition of negotiation

Same as persuasion and selling

4 levels, deepest best

Getting ppl to do/think/perceive/feel what u want

Goals

Only thing to strive for as a primary, not relationship or win win

Ask attendees: what do you want at the end of this meeting that don't have now

Your attitude, credibility, transparency

Advise other side of ur foibles or frequent errors and not knowing their culture and ask them to tell u if make mistake or give up too much

State obvious

I'm in a bad mood

I don't think we're getting along here. Why not?

Ask for criticism to improve

Small steps

Focus just on small incremental gains

Everything is situational

What are my goals

Who are they

What will it take to persuade them

The question of power

Less powerful parties tend to be more subtle and creative and thus successful

Implementation

Practice widely on small things

Ask for discount at clothing store when not on sale

Ask if have personal shoppers, ask for a biz card, ask mgr what store does for loyal customers

Coaching

U can even coach the other side to make sure their interests are met and they follow through

Persistence

Can keep asking as long as want

I'm just trying to meet my goals. Is there some way I could do this better?

Keep asking why not

Consider the deeper motivation

Ppl do things for how it makes them feel

Changing your life

Ch 2 ppl are almost everything

Don't start with issues

Connect with ppl first  

Make small talk

Ask, are you happy?

Commiserate

Ask if we had to start over again what process would you like to see

Pictures in their heads

Changes day to day

Start with feelings

Human connection

Offer some piece of human kindness, not for manipulation

Negotiate with individuals in a group, not the company

Ignore past and what out of control

Focus on individuals not cultural norms

Third parties

Need to account for ppl not present like ultimate boss or spouse

Valuing the other party

Be nice to others and try to understand them then ask for discount

Show them u see their value and work

Treat ppl in service positions with dignity even when messing up and show that still value them but want nice solution

Finding and acknowledging their power

When service worker messes, acknowledge they have the power to do differently instead of chastising

Ask ppl for help; pose the problem to them

Find out if person has the power to do x

Trust

Don't lie or cheat or bluff

Don't have to say everything

Can just say that can't disclose some things now

Negotiating without trust

Find out how other side makes commitments: contracts, incentives, saving face, third parties

Ask questions u know answer to and see if other side lies

Ask them to prove to third party that offer bonafide

Check and test everything

Meet in person

Losing and regaining trust

Takes just 1 failure to lose trust

Changing everything

Ch 3 perception and communication

Many different perspectives

Perception gap

Things u believe often invisible to other side

Fundamental attribution error: think ppl react to things the way you do

Closing the perception gap

Ask what u perceiving and what they perceiving

First learn their perceptions before giving urs

Questions better than statements

Pls tell me where I'm wrong here

You must Communicate

Try to talk to them

Their words and perceptions are more important than yours

Tell me more

Value them, don't blame them

Look for common ground

Summarize what u r hearing

Frame things the way u want

Role reversal

Be dispassionate

Ask why when get bad reaction

State and restate your goals

Tone and emails

Add tone explicitly back in

4 hard bargainers and standards

use other people’s advertised standards to get them to do what you want

Power of standards

Refer to what their ads say about customer service and compare to this situation

If the CEO of the company were on this phone call would he approve?

Find their list of admission standards and write letter of how meet each one

Using standards

Is it your policy to charge xyz

Being incremental

What is possible here

Go far back enough that foolish to say no

Lead them through thought process

Framing

Is it your policy to stand behind your local customers or send them away at first sign of trouble

Do you value non members more than members

How u present into matters

Help other side see issue your way

Setting standards

Set them at start of process

Any item can't solve in 15 min come back to later

Agenda as process standard

Start with easy things like when is the next meeting

Ask for other sides standards if don't know

Take notes and write On board to control the meeting

Naming bad behavior

Ask what were your goals when u did x or what kind of relationship did u want to have? Would u have done it if I were y?

Is it necessary for u to x

I promise never to x. May I have the same consideration

Never make yourself the issue

Focus on them

Do you think it's fair for residents who make the least noise to receive attention last

Is customer satisfaction important to u

Do U stand behind ur published coupons

Is making money more important than customer satisfaction and honoring your policies

Restate their words to them

Your competitive attitude

Don't think of winning

Think of smallest details of your craft like breathing

5 trading items of unequal value

Basketball tickets

Pick up clients mom in law from airport

How it works

Intangibles

Trade later bedtime with following new rules

Involve children in making the rules

Helping with computer

Offering travel advice

Needs

Ask why to find underlying need and then trade something of different value

Getting the info

Guess and ask

Research yourself

Expanding the pie

Offer to show third parties how pie can expand if other side inflexible

What costs me nothing and gives u what u want and vice versa

Linkages

Lots of parameters to link and trade: time, activities, food choices

Why fight each other when can find a way to profit

When other side threatens or attacks ask questions to find new profits and commonality

A change in attitude

Think of problem as an opportunity to develop something new

How can I make money from this problem

Research other person and ask about their research and interests

Offer free negotiation advice to nurses in hospital

6 emotion

Start from irrationality, acknowledge others feelings, move little by little to better result

Emotion and negotiation

Empathy about other party and is effective

Don't feign emotions

Ask how can my company add more value in exchange for price increase

Emotion producing tactics

Give them the problem

Say competitor offering for less and we want to stay with them because have been for long. Ask how do we stay in business together?

Controlling emotion

Recognize when others acting against own goals

Make emotional payments: apologies, empathy, concessions

Try to find common enemy

Personal style

Assertive

Collaborative

Compromising

Avoiding

Accommodating

Ethics

About reframing

Different labels for behaviors like bribe vs hiring expediter

7 problem solving model

Wallet card at gettingmore.com

8 cultural differences

Diversity

About the pictures in ppl's heads not external things like race

No such thing as Them; just individuals with own perceptions

Trade jobs to see what life like for other

Other cultures value the relationship over the transaction and seek to judge the relationship not worry about a contract

Differences create value

Hire an interface manager consultant to bridge cultures

Ch 9 getting more at work

Small favors for those around you in all roles

pay attention to signals

if say can’t do it at this time, ask when can do it or who else can

if say this is our standard contract, ask if ever made exceptions

if say we never negotiate on price, ask what do negotiate on

find out how they make commitments

handshake or contract

consult before deciding

yesterday is gone

who’s right is pointless in negotiation

have you ever done this before

have you ever made an exception

10 getting more in the marketplace

Try to get a discount

Ask if product moves fast enough

Ask what price can get to move product and make profit margin

Standards and framing

Does verizon have high customer service standards

Is having to do x in line with Verizon's standards

I'm a longtime customer. Can I get something for my trouble?

Ask questions. Don't make yourself the issue.

Ask if AT&T ever made an exception to the warranty

Don't ask for exception in front of other people

Does t mobile treat new customers better than existing customers? Haven't we spent a lot more money with t mobile?

Research what give new customers and ask for same

Ask are these comcasts standards? How can Comcast restore my confidence in the company

Call back until find friendly voice

Ask if ever give discount for high dollar sales

Ask what have they done for others in the past

Ask salesperson if empowered to give discounts besides those listed

Documentation key to using standard

Ask for copies and provide ur proof

Personal connections

Call restaurant marketing director and explain ur loyalty and desire to host big party and ask for discount that restaurants normally give to big groups

Ask where ppl from

Does the company ever give some discount; could clerk fit him into free category

Connect with rep; ask about their career goals; offer advice; share a bit about yourself

Trading and linkages

Link to other negotiations and trade info and advice

Ask for volume discount even if buy just 2 items

Ask for their background, their opinion, how became manager

Ask for discount in return for longer term contract

Perceptions and risk

Reduce their perceived risk

Cars

Check internet for dealer costs and car values

Check vin for history

Find out promotions for friends and family and sales coming up

Hire car sales rep consultant to help u buy

Credit cards

Ask for lowest rate

Card retention dept

Can u help me remain a customer

Real estate

Negotiate commission

Lower initial rate 2% and incentive 10% above minimum price for sale

Flat fee

Hourly fee with a cap

Major effort to get to know seller

Speak directly to seller; offer to sign non circumvention agreement

Family business

All about emotions

11 relationships

Emotional payments

Empathy

Apologizing

Listening

Concessions

Valuing people

Role reversal

Being incremental

Standards

Discuss the details

Build spreadsheet of what can afford

Ask questions to dig deep

Environment

Prefer face to face to ask for big things or exceptions so can use empathy

Mediation

Never take sides

Confidant for each party

Ask questions and standards

Meet with each side separately first

12 kids and parents

Find out pictures in their heads

They would trade a lot for more power or security

Why

Tell me more

Why now

Don't take at face value; ask to show what mean

What could have been better for next time

Give them control and decision power

Choose between 5 toothbrushes and pastes after discussion

You have the power

Ask them to help pick restaurants

Say willing to read her any book she wanted

Trade one thing for another

Be incremental in trades

Read 2 pages now for whole book tomorrow

Rewards

Points system

Spreadsheet and stars

Kids can design incentive system

Highs and lows around dinner table

Reiterate ur unconditional love and then can give critique or reasoning behind no

Ch 13 travel

Is this one of the finest hotels

Does it pride itself on highest level service

Does that service include ants

Ask for list of discount categories

Promos

When do you make exceptions

Give them details to make ur case real

Make connection and ask how day was

Ask if repeat customers ever get unused suites

Offer to write thank u letter for their personnel file

Send candy gram

For late check out ask when last room will be cleaned and ask to be that last room, usually 5pm

When do u need that room for another guest

Thank police and appreciate they r doing their job and apologize

Apologize for other person being so busy

Help other person get credit for fixing something

Always ask where someone is from

Trip organizing for group

Have one coordinator, the calmest person

Collect info incrementally from one person at a time

CH 14 getting more around town

Dry cleaners

Industry standards

Repeat business

Referrals

Look for solutions that don't blame

Ask for work to be redone instead of refund

Ask for credit for future

Restaurants

Ask for manager

What do u imply when u give someone a reservation at ur restaurant

What is ur definition of customer service

When mistake made, ask what they do for customers when mistakes are made

Ch 15 public issues

Must start talking with enemies

Start with common ground like sports or children

Substantive issues at end only

Incremental solutions

Ch 16. How to do it

Break negotiation into smaller pieces

Bring agenda

Whenever new info surfaces take a break and think

Start with easy things

Set a time limit on issues

If can't solve in 15 min move on

See entire list of issues up front

Say early what can't agree to

If time pressure don't succumb

I don't feel comfortable answering that question

Will you charge more if I don't have other offers?

What effect could that have on our discussions?

Make first offer only when u have a lot of info

Avoid extreme first offers and if get it then ask where got their info or ask for a break

Discuss risk explicitly and decide what happens in case of breaking commitment

________________________________________

About leader   From dimond /Framing, value  People review    I have read several books on negotiation, and I like this one the most by far. It provides a rational, but warm approach to satisfying goals. The conversational style of his subject matter leads the reader through the material. Instead of "win-win" or "collaberation", he advocates "trading things of unequal value",which hits the nail on the head.  This book is for those willing to put in the time to practice, otherwise don't bother. Since reading the book AND practicing the rules frequently I have had the following success:  1) Negotiated an entirely a free sweater  2) Negotiated a significant raise in salary, equity, and signing bonuses  3) Improved relationships with my family in friends  4) Negotiated a free round of swimming with the dolphins  Why is this better than other negotiation books?  Simply put, most negotiation tactics focus on the short-term win i.e increase in salary at the expense of the relationship with the boss at the company. This isn't a fantastic approach because it closes opportunities for future growth. Getting More teaches you to focus on the short-term AND long-term game, while still allowing you to effectively get what you desire.  How does it work?  Treat people like people. Understand the picture in their head. Negotiate calmly. It's that simple.  Last word  You may not get what you want immediately, but I guarantee you'll set yourself for future success. Like all things, you get what you put in.  ____________________  3.  This is one of the best books on improving the quality of your life you can read.  August 19, 2015  Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase  This book is a manual on "Getting More" from all aspects of your life. I have been studying this book a few pages at a time during every morning commute, trying really hard to internalize the principles over the past few months. This book is not meant to be read, it's meant to be studied and reflected upon.  You must ask yourself at the end of each day - "Which of the Getting More principles have I applied today?"  "Was I being incremental?"  "Did I focus on the pictures in their heads?"  "Was I able to frame or "package" the facts to achieve a certain result?"  "Was I focused on my goals?"  "Was I talking to someone who can really help me?"  Etc....  This book gave my emotional and social intelligence a huge boost. If you're a very street-smart person, you may find that you already know most of this stuff. If that's the case you're not the target audience. I didn't grow up surrounded by very savvy individuals, so for me this book has been a godsend.  PS: I own both a Paperback and a Kindle version that I carry with me on my iPad everywhere I go.  _______________  4..  In the Spring 2011 semester in my LL.M. education in University of Pennsylvania Law School, I was able to get into the Negotiation class of Professor Diamond. The class taught by Prof. Diamond is at least as hard to be enrolled as to be admitted to Penn Law. Believe it or not, it is probably the only class which has longer waitlist then its capacity (42 people). There are two possible reasons for a class to be so famous; either it is an easy "A" class which it is not, or the professor and/or class is something beyond ordinary.  From the very first meeting of our class, I was surprised that a class can be so entertaining and helpful. I have been studying law for longer than a decade including LL.B. (JD equivalent), LL.M. (master's), lawyering education ( 1 year mandatory education upon graduation of Law School to be an attorney at law), and am currently in my SJD(PhD education), and the class is much better than other classes in many ways.  1. You learn information which you see actually use.  2. You see the benefits, both in monetary terms and other ways from the very first class  3. The information given is not a collection of clichés but they come from real life experiences.  4. It is very entertaining, that you do not believe you are still in the law school   Now you can think that "what these have to do with the book?"  Well, let me explain:  1. Getting More is the book assigned for students to read.  2. It has almost the same information you will get in class by attending UPENN.  3. The book gives you all the 4 benefits I have enumerated in prior paragraph.  In addition, the book is not a collection of theories. Every single idea in the book is supported by the examples from real life. The book also supplies examples of failures, and shows what was done wrong and why did not the strategy work. The examples are not made up case scenarios, or imaginations of the author, they are the examples which have happened to the author, or most of the time, to his students.  I have learned a lot from Professor Diamond in person, and from his book, and thanks to the lessons thought by him I had great benefits. I saved thousands of dollars from various events (transportation, cable TV&Internet, my new car, my monthly rent etc). Last time I saw the monetary benefits was two weeks ago, which is why I decided to write about the book. I got 4 Michelin tires (I was quoted $800,) for $480. Yet this is not the best part. By using the techniques, I almost always get what I want, even more of it. I got same day appointments from doctors and dentists, my late applications are accepted by schools, my friends started to join my ideas more often than before.  If you read the book, you will learn all the ideas; however if you want to have all the benefits, you should use them. Like we used to do in class, I would suggest you to read a chapter/week and try to use them throughout the week. After a few weeks, try to combine ideas (for instance ideas from ch1,ch2,ch3) in a single occasion.  I have send this book to couple of friends, by think that "I will pay ~$15, and give them a chance to earn thousands".  There is one thing better than the book, which is to get into Professor Diamond's class. As long as this is not an option, I would suggest you not to hesitate a second to buy the book. Did I mention that the author is a Pulitzer winner, which I believe he did not negotiate for it   Once you read it, I believe you will send Getting More to your friends. A gift, from a gifted author ;)  Note: Had to delete and repost my original review due to a rude comment.  ______  5.  Read it, the best use of your time!  October 27, 2011  Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase  To start, let me say a few words about Stuart as a teacher. I am a student of his in Wharton School where he taught negotiation. Much of the book content is based on course material. Prof.Diamond is an extremely engaging teacher, he makes this negotiation stuff go live in front of you. The class is so well received that for years it has been ranked as one of the best courses offered at Wharton based on amount of learning, difficulty of the content, and usefulness of the material.  After the course, I bought a kindle version of the book. It obviously lacks the energy come with his class interactions, but it gives you the same set of tools and it's a convenient way to invite Stuart to your living room! Prof.Diamond approaches negotiation from a distinctive angle. He does not start with win-win or BATNA, in fact he hates these concepts. Stuart believe we should start with our partner: what he wants and how that emotional piece plays into his willingness to agree to your own proposal. In a way, I believe he consider negotiation as an arm-length trasaction, at the right price, there is always a buyer, but the tricky part is that you don't always know what the other party wants and what he has to offer. Too many negotiation books emphasize what you get and what you pay, hence the paradigm of win-lose or BATNA. This book promotes the concept that you must first understand the nature of the transaction. The reason behind your partner's resistence may have nothing to do with what you want! Once you start to look things differently, additional dimentions open up and chances to land on a good solution increase. Another thing I like about the book is that all tools are ethically nuetral. No cheating, no distortion, no gaming. The book takes on a view that all negotiation are long term, and one can not succeed in long run if perceived to be dishonest. As a consequence, some deals can not be made, so be it, but these tools increases the chance. Use the analogy of baseball the book says "if you are 280 hitter...and you get one extra hit every nine games, you become a .310 hitter...that's worth in a spot in hall of fame and $10 million more a year in compensation." You will be handsomely rewarded if you ground your expectation along the line of "one more hit in nine games".  One word of caution, if you want to be good at using the tools in the book, you must practice. During class we were asked to negotiate with daily purchases and see if the tools can bring in discounts or extra offers. Like any art form, practice is the only way to perfection.  _________  6.  I found the described framework very useful. Similar to other techniques on negotiation I have studied before, but comprehensive and structured. The 6 tools and 12 strategies outlined were easy to follow.  The incremental model is definitely a real life way of negotiating.  On the downside, I found that several of the examples used, were very trivial. I would have enjoyed more deep detailed cases on complex business negotiations, rather than so many daily small personal issues (but I guess to some people with less business focus, those might be interesting and useful)  __________  7.  One of the best & most pragmatic books on negotiation I've ever read; I'll be giving my children copies.  Simple tips, that align well with emotional & social intelligence principles. Most of us are poor, weak and ineffective negotiator's - we simply don't ask for what we want & struggle with childhood conditioning about being greedy and/or selfish. Based on other reading & research, e.g. Ask For It by Linda Babcock & Sara Laschever, some negotiations are more of a challenge for women than for men. & based on experience there are also negotiations that are more of a challenge for men than for women.  This book seems to provide across the board advice that will enhance negotiations in both professional & personal relationships for everyone.  ____  8.  As a professional negotiator, I found Professor Diamond's book very useful in providing a framework for organizing commonly used tools in negotiations (setting goals, preparing, making lists, empathizing, exchanging items of unequal value-to name a few). He suggests a quadrant or 12 step method which I find good in disciplining my mind as a checklist when negotiating different items. Diamond stresses empathy (which he calls "seeing the picture in the other side's mind") and valuing as key elements for a successful negotiation. In order to successfully fulfill these functions, one must prepare and get to know the other party.  Diamond uses numerous examples to emphasize the elements of his system to generally good effect. The writing style is also engaging while maintaining a professional tone.  However, this book is desperately in need of editing and there are points where the author reveals a distracting amount of egotism. The most glaring example is when he discusses a transaction and writes "even my assistant" could do the math. Diamond should think about the picture in the assistant's mind of his or her value to him after this comment before he put it into writing. Additionally, there is the incessant name dropping and stating what people have become. Often times this comes off as attributing their success in life primarily or exclusively to his system. Diamond also repeatedly tells the reader what "Getting More" will do for them throughout the book. This constant reminding is superfluous and should be deleted. Finally, the book repeats itself with certain stories and quotes, Reagan's "Trust, but verify" is repeated twice.  Overall, I highly recommend the book because, when it is at its best (the first 170 pages) it provides a useful tool in both personal and professional situations. The last 200 pages diminish a bit the strong beginning.  ______  9.  When negotiating -- Do you want to be right or be persuasive? Do you want to win or to meet your goals? Do the goals justify the means? How do you deal with someone who has more power or is being a bully? How do you deal with someone who is weaker? "Getting More" attempts to help you address these issues for yourself.  Initially I was reluctant to read this book because it was presented to me as collection of underhanded manipulation techniques. At least the first story in it appears to be manipulative, but as I read further on, I realized that this is the best book on interpersonal communication and negotiation I have come across. What makes this book so different is that it successfully combines best ideas found in books on (1) negotiation, (2) social psychology, (3) personal growth. The concepts are based on common sense, requiring conscious effort and practice. There are no tricks. Recently, I was able to get a two day request done on the spot in five minutes without having to plead or threaten.  The main idea is to recognize the fact that most of the time you can't force your will on others and if you do, it will be only be a momentary advantage with some form of retribution to follow in the future. It will always be very expensive. An extreme case would be a psychopath always finding a new victim. Dictators fall into that category. If you are not one of those, you will find that persuading a person to willingly cooperate will get better results for both, even in situations where you don't like or trust each other. For many, it may sound counterintuitive since we are often taught that competition is the principle rule of nature, i.e. it is survival of the fittest. We instinctively feel that to get anything, to achieve, one has to struggle to win, lose, or draw. The author repeatedly makes a point that this frame of mind generally results in poor outcomes, especially when the two parties have repeated interactions.  One memorable quote was "Life is not a sports game. In sports, it is expected that one side will lose". I would replace "is not" with "doesn't have to" because competition is as much a part of life as cooperation. Some examples provided in the book describe situations where an effort to cooperate has an implicit competitive agenda. For example, satisfying mutual interests in an interview, or a business transaction, in effect locks out a `silent' third candidate. The advantage a person can have over another candidate is simply being a better communicator. That in itself is viewed as the greatest asset in variety of partnerships.  So how does one get an adversary to cooperate? Just as with "How does one get to Carnegie Hall?" it is "Practice, practice, practice".  For example, you have to become perceptive of the other person's state of mind, their needs and obligations. An individual often will become more receptive if he or she feels being heard and understood and not just being talked to. Some people a born with such skill but all can improve it thru every day casual interactions. The key is not to be lazy. People will cooperate simply because you show them respect or bring in a third party they obliged to respect, or recognize and empathize about an unrelated troubling issue. Another way of getting someone to work with you is to present the problem in a form of a fair trade, a deal, instead of a tug of war. Items to be traded many not even be on the negotiating table at the start and need to be discovered in the process.  The book covers examples on dealing with negotiation "bullies" by pinning them against their own standards. People with lots of leverage often have to oblige some higher authority or standards, and even their own standards to appear to be consistent. On the other hand, the book warns not to use power carelessly. Because the techniques discussed can be can be misused, the author often warns to be prudent, just as one should be with a sharp knife. He defines manipulation as an action that at some point makes a person feel cheated or abused.  There are cases where using these methods would be very challenging because they would require changing the `game' or breaking old habits. For example, the primary purpose of a political debate is to come up with the winner, not to solve an issue. Even when the winner is chosen, he or she must continue to wrestle with the opposition to maintain control. The `war' process is continuous and hence there is no time or room for constructive negotiations that would produce solutions. On a personal level, a couple going through a bitter divorce would rather strangle each other than try to empathize. In such contentious cases, to secure a `win', the opposing sides escalate by building up their armies with supporters, lawyers, and advisers. It often becomes a bitter and expensive war of attrition.  The only hope of utilizing the concepts in the book in such cases is introduction a skillful mediating neutral third party. There are over a million lawyers in US. How many of them provide non-partisan negotiation services?  This book is only as effective as your sphere of influence, which includes your family, friends, neighbors, colleagues, and anyone you directly interact with. The premise is not to `take more' from others. It is `getting more' needs satisfied by both parties in a fair trade, and `get more' accomplished in your life.  _____  10.  When I started reading this book, I had no idea how much was about to change.  Let's get the obvious stuff out of the way. Yes, using the model got me more in the big negotiations of my life. When negotiating my new job, I got the bonus, start date, vacation days, and salary I was looking for. Plus I saved a few thousand bucks on a recent move, a few thousand bucks on the deposit for the apartment, a thousand bucks on a vacation, five thousand bucks for unused time on the lease, et cetera. That in itself adds up to a lot of money saved. I'd be a very happy customer if the benefits had stopped there.  But here are the three things you really need to know about this book.  First: The model is instantly applicable; you don't need to commit to long study and big changes before you see results. Here's an example: say I read a chapter in the morning and go about my day. An hour later, I have a team member saying they're going to miss a deadline. I think, "I wonder what would happen if I used that technique from this morning's chapter right now." I try it. The team member finds a way to meet the deadline. I think, "Heck, maybe I should have read two chapters."  Second: You may not know it, but we spend much of our waking lives in small or incremental negotiations, and this book will teach you to get a better outcome every time. I get better handling from the landlord, coworkers, restaurant staff, airline personnel, the dry cleaner, other drivers in traffic jams. My relationships with my spouse and friends are richer. My kids do what I ask them to do (more often, not always). My coffee gets made the way I like it. Everything just works out better.  Third: You don't have to be a jerk to use these techniques. In fact, being a jerk is counterproductive. The book is about looking at the whole negotiation process in a different light, paying attention to things other people miss. A little tweak here, a gentle touch there, and bam: you get more. Often, other people get more too. They like that. The whole process feels good for everybody.  Bottom line: yeah, the book saved me a pile of money, but I'd heard the stories at business school and already expected that. What I didn't expect was getting more of the stuff that money can't buy. If I could only have one business book, this would be it. This guy is the real deal.  ____  11.I always thought I was a decent negotiator but I've picked up a lot of new techniques from this book. For me, the biggest benefit was learning a good structure to use in preparing for and carrying out a negotiation. I feel that before going through this book, I used to take very much of "wing it" approach. I've learned though that preparing for the negotiation in a structured manner (which is exactly what this book teaches you) can make it very very easy to get what you want - for example, I had never really thought about using "standards" in a non-abrasive way but this has become one of my go-to tools in daily negotiations. Another big learning for me has been regarding trading things of unequal value. While this may seem like common sense, I I rarely used this tool before reading the book and I don't think that I've seen many others use this tool either. This is yet another invaluable tool that you can use in a negotiation. That's just a couple of examples of the types of things I learned from this book. It won't take you too long to go through this book. Since reading the book, I've done so many negotiations and I've gotten what I wanted for the most part. I even got a stingy airline to change my flights without charging me a fee AND they gave me a lower fare than what I paid initially. Get this book and make your life easier. You won't dread a negotiation after reading this; in fact, you may even look forward to your next one.  ___  12.Great book. I'm already using this material in my negotiations with boss, coworkers, kids, husband. Helps everyone walk away feeling like they got more.  __  13.