reflection paper

Chapter Summary

Chapter 9: Developing Intercultural Relationships

I. Communication and Uncertainty

1. Initiating communication with a stranger, particularly a person from a different culture, can be frightening. A communication theory called Uncertainty Reduction Theory (URT) is an attempt to explain our communication behavior during initial communication encounters with others. The major premise guiding this theory is that when strangers first meet, their primary goal is to reduce uncertainty and increase the predictability about the behavior of themselves and the other person. The original theory consists of seven axioms.

2. Although people in any culture seek to reduce uncertainty, the verbal and nonverbal communication strategies people use to reduce uncertainty varies from culture to culture. People from high context cultures try to reduce uncertainty in initial encounters but the nature of the information they seek seems to be different than that sought by persons from low context cultures.

a. Because much of the information resides in the context as opposed to the individual, persons from high context cultures are more cautious concerning what they talk about with strangers.

b. Certain types of information are more important sources of uncertainty to persons in high context cultures than in low context cultures, including the other's social background, knowing whether others will behave in a socially appropriate manner, knowing that others understand individuals' feelings, knowing what others mean when they communicate, and knowing whether others will make allowances for individuals when they communicate.

II. Anxiety Uncertainty Management Theory of Effective Communication

1. AUM and Uncertainty Reduction Theory (URT) are similar in that each theory focuses on the effects of uncertainty and anxiety on communication. AUM shifts the focus from uncertainty and anxiety reduction to uncertainty and anxiety management. AUM also incorporates the concepts of mindfulness and communication effectiveness. The focus of AUM is toward effective communication; that is, to the extent that interactants can manage uncertainty and anxiety, and be mindful, effective communication can be achieved.

2. In addition to uncertainty and anxiety, AUM incorporates the concepts of mindfulness and communication effectiveness. Mindfulness refers to the idea that most of the time, people are not acutely aware of their behavior, that they operate on a kind of automatic pilot. To be sure, many communicative acts are routine or habitual and do not require intense cognitive attention. Mindfulness, on the other hand, refers to a person’s conscious attention to incoming information. A mindful communicator is open to new information and the processing of new categories. Mindful communicators perceive aspects of the self and others that mindless communicators miss.

III. Uncertainty Reduction and Intercultural Communication Apprehension

1. One factor which may affect how persons reduce uncertainty is whether they experience intercultural communication apprehension. Because intercultural communication is loaded with novelty and dissimilarity, people might experience inordinate amounts of anxiety that inhibit the ability to reduce uncertainty.

a. f uncertainty is above our maximum tolerance level we may feel uncomfortable communicating. If uncertainty is below your minimum threshold, you may find the interaction dull and uninteresting.

b. Uncertainty and anxiety are related such that as uncertainty increases so does anxiety. Like uncertainty, you have maximum and minimum thresholds for anxiety. When anxiety is above your maximum tolerance level, you will experience so much anxiety that you may even evade interacting with others or withdraw from communication. When anxiety is below your minimum levels, you may feel unmotivated to reduce uncertainty.

2. Although faced with large amounts uncertainty and anxiety during initial intercultural communication, an individual's communication style may enable him/her to effectively reduce uncertainty. Two dimensions of communication style are called assertiveness and responsiveness.

IV. An Intercultural Conversation about Uncertainty Reduction and Socio-Communicative Style

1. In the intercultural conversations presented in this chapter, we see how an individual's socio-communicative style affects uncertainty reduction during initial intercultural communication. In the first conversation we see Dan, who is from the United States, interacting with Natasha, who is from Ukraine. Dan seems unassertive and unresponsive. In the second conversation we see Jim, who is from the United States, interacting with Foday who is from Sierre Leone. In comparison to Dan, Jim seems assertive and responsive. Jim's assertiveness and responsiveness helps him reduce uncertainty about Foday and Sierre Leone.

V. Assessing Socio-Communicative Orientation/Style

1. Assertiveness and responsiveness are measured using scales developed by McCroskey and Richmond. These scales have been used successfully in other cultures, including China, Finland, Japan, Korea, and Russia. Note, however, that these scales were designed to measure assertiveness and responsiveness as defined in the United States and may not be generalizable across all cultures. In fact, studies examining assertiveness and responsiveness across cultures have reported differences.

VI. Empathy and Similarity in Relationship Development

1. As uncertainty is reduced, people get to know each other more and can work on developing their relationship. The ability to empathize with someone is a crucial ingredient in any relationship. Empathy takes on added importance in intercultural relationships, however. Because persons from other cultures are different than we are, it may be difficult for us to empathize with them, their ideas, and their style of communication.

2. Empathy is often defined as the degree to which we can accurately infer another's thoughts or feelings. This definition is inadequate for the study of intercultural communication. Broome offers what he calls a model of relational empathy. Broome argues that because our thoughts and perceptions are based on our unique personal, cultural, sociocultural, and individual past experiences we can never completely comprehend or directly know what another is thinking or feeling.

3. Intercultural researcher Donald Klopf maintains that we can approach empathy with others by developing empathic listening skills. Empathic listening means listening more to the meanings than to the words of another person.

VII. Similarity

1. A great deal of research has demonstrated that similarity plays a key role in the establishment and development of relationships. Intercultural researchers have found that the more we perceive another as similar to ourselves, the more we are able to reduce uncertainty about the person and form accurate categories of them.

VIII. Perceptions of Relational Intimacy Across Cultures

2. Although the same types of relationships exist across cultures, the level of intimacy varies considerably. Gudykunst and Nishida studied the influence of culture on perceptions of intimacy and communication behavior between the United States and Japan. They reasoned that because of their collectivistic tendencies, the Japanese students would perceive ingroup relationships as more intimate than would United States students who are individualistic. They also maintained that because Japan is considered a masculine-oriented culture where sex roles are clearly differentiated, these types of relationships (e.g., lover, spouse, boy/girlfriend) would be perceived as less intimate than in the United States.

IX. Eastern and Western Cultures and Relationships

1. In individualistic cultures like the United States, relationships are typically viewed from the perspective of the self. Individualists see themselves as distinct individuals who participate in relationships to maximize their own self-interests. In many collectivistic cultures, like China, relationships are guided by Confucianism.

a. The fundamental theme of Confucianism is that proper relationships form the cornerstone of society.

2. Relational partners in Eastern cultures engage in long-term and asymmetrical reciprocity whereas in many Western cultures, short-term symmetrical reciprocity is practiced, sometimes contractually.

3. Another difference between Eastern and Western relationships is that in many Eastern cultures there is a clear difference between who is and is not a member of the ingroup and outgroup.

4. A fourth difference between relationships of Eastern and Western cultures is the use of intermediaries (i.e., go-betweens). Many Eastern cultures require intermediaries.

X. Interethnic and Interracial Relationships and Marriages

1. The most common type of marriage practice is monogamy; that is, marriage between one man and one woman. Monogamy is practiced in the United States and in most western cultures. Most cultures prefer not to limit the number of spouses available to a person. These cultures practice polygamy; that is, marriage to more than one spouse. Contrary to popular belief, polygamy is not the practice of a husband having multiple wives. Actually, there are two types of polygamy, including polygyny, where a man has multiple wives, and polyandry, where a woman has more than one husband. According to Howard, polygyny is permitted in the majority of societies.

2. The number of interracial marriages in the United States is growing. In 2013, 12% of newlyweds married someone of a different race, although this statistic does not include interethnic marriages between Hispanic/Latinos and non-Hispanic/Latinos. Some racial groups are more likely to intermarry than others. Of the 3.6 million adults who got married in 2013, 58% of Native Americans, 28% of Asian Americans, 19% of Black Americans, and 7% of White Americans married someone of a different race. She also notes that Black men are much more likely than Black women to marry someone of a different race.

3. A common assumption is that interethnic and interracial relationships experience more difficulties than intraethnic or intraracial relationships because of the cultural or ethnic differences. And evidence suggests that interracial marriages are more likely to end in divorce than are intraracial marriages. About two thirds of interracial marriages end in divorce, compared with 40% to 50% for all marriages. Interracial partners may face obstacles that intraracial partners do not. For example, interracial couples are often stared at in public; are negatively stereotyped; face social network opposition, including pressure not to marry; are discriminated against by restaurant staff, real-estate agents, hotel managers, and retail clerks; and experience obscene phone calls, hate mail, and vandalized property. Ethnic and/or racial differences might also intensify conflict management differences.

4. In addition to the growing number of interracial marriages, American attitudes about these relationships are changing. Eighty-six percent of Black respondents said their families would welcome a White, Asian, or Hispanic person into their family. Among White Americans, 66% said they would accept Hispanics or Asian Americans, but only 55% would accept a Black person. Among Hispanics, 86% would accept White Americans, 79% would accept Asian Americans, and 74% would accept Black Americans. Among Asian Americans, 77% would accept White Americans, 71% would accept Hispanics, and 66% would accept Black Americans.

XI. Intercultural Relational Maintenance

1. A substantial body of literature in the social sciences has emerged focusing on relational maintenance, which centers on how relational partners uphold and sustain their established relationships. A typology of seven relational maintenance behaviors that couples use to sustain their relationships includes: self-disclosure, relationship talk, positivity, understanding, assurances, networks, and tasks.

2. Two additional relational maintenance behaviors might affect intercultural relationships include open communication and support.

3. Although gay and lesbian couples are not fully accepted in many societies, they rely on the same type of maintenance behaviors as those reported by heterosexual couples, with the exception of two particular relationship maintenance behaviors, including (a) gay/lesbian supportive environments and (b) being the same as heterosexual couples.

XII. The Internet as Relational Maintenance

1. The Internet has profoundly changed the way humans communicate. Estimates vary, but we can be sure that billions of people across the planet use the Internet to connect with others. One of the primary Internet tools for initiating and maintaining relationships is its social networking sites, such as Facebook and Twitter. Facebook use is motivated by two primary needs: the need to belong and the need for self-presentation. Persons in collectivistic cultures are conditioned to want to belong and may use Facebook to satisfy that need. Members of individualistic cultures are more likely to share private information on Facebook and more likely to raise controversial topics, compared with Facebook users from collectivistic cultures.

a. White Americans, Vietnamese Americans, Indian Americans, Latin Americans/Caribbean Islanders, and

b. Black Americans use different strategies in self-presentation constructions on Facebook.

c. Fifty million Japanese (i.e., 40% of the population) use Line, an application for instant communication on smartphones, tablets, and personal computers. Japanese Line users can exchange text messages, photos, videos, and conduct free conversations and video conferences. The second-most used social media in Japan is Twitter, which has 26 million monthly users. Wong notes that Japan is the only market where Twitter is more popular than Facebook. Twitter is so popular among Japanese, especially young Japanese, primarily because of their anonymity on it.

d. There are over 350 million Internet users in India. That’s more people than there are in the United States. Internet use in India is not distributed equally, with the majority of users residing in urban locations. Connection speeds in India are slow compared to most countries and that the average Internet user spends 5 hours a day online. Of those, there are over 140 million users of Facebook, with men accounting for nearly 75% of those users. For women, Facebook functions to do more than initiate and maintain friendships; it gives them a voice to air their grievances and expose the sexual violence inflicted against them in a social system where such violence is often ignored (recall the

e. In 2016, 120 million Africans use Facebook. Most of those users are in Nigeria, South Africa, and Kenya. Overall, only about 9 % of Africans use social media. Social media use in Africa is much like that anywhere else on the planet where users discuss life, love, politics, and philosophy.

f. Social media users in Mexico use Facebook more than any other social media site. In 2016, over 52 million Mexicans use Facebook. Mexicans use Facebook to initiate and maintain connections, especially professional connections that are essentially impossible to make without social media outlets. In small, rural towns in Mexico, where the economy is largely based on agriculture, making professional connections unrelated to agriculture is virtually impossible. Teachers in these small towns also recognize the value of Facebook for their classrooms, using the social media site for a variety of classroom projects such as organizing school trips and events, as well as establishing collaborative projects with other schools in urban areas and even abroad.

2. Facebook and Twitter are used primarily for social interaction with friends with whom users have a pre-established relationship offline and that they serve mostly to support preexisting social relations within geographically bound communities. That is, as far as we can tell, most SNS users are not using social media to initiate new relationships outside their geographical areas.

XIII. Mate Selection Across Cultures

1. Professor David Buss has lead The International Mate Selection Project. The focus of Buss's work has been to identify preferences people have when they choose a mate. According to Buss, scholars from myriad academic fields are interested in mating practices and mate selection.

2. The purpose of his research was to identify which characteristics individuals value in potential mates, to identify similarities among countries in their values, to identify the ways cultures differ in their values, to identify clusters of countries that are similar to each other and to identify sex differences within each country on the degree of variation of mate selection.

3. Buss and his research collaborators surveyed over 10,000 people from 33 different countries. In the study, individuals were asked to complete the "Factors in Choosing a Mate" scale and the "Preferences Concerning a Potential Mate" instruments. After analyzing the completed surveys, Buss found that in spite of the unique cultural variability associated with each sample, there were substantial commonalities among all samples.

4. But how people from different cultures define love may differ. Research has found that students

of Asian descent score higher on measures of companionate and pragmatic love styles and

lower on erotic love styles compared with their European-descended counterparts.

5. In comparison with U.S. love songs, Chinese love songs focus on love in the natural world and

love as a value of Confucianism, Buddhism, and Taoism, with an emphasis on interdependence.

U.S. love songs focus on the love partner without regard to context. Other studies have found

that Chinese concepts of love typically stress love as related to sadness, jealousy, and betrayal,

while U.S. concepts of love equate it with happiness.

6. In another study American and Chinese couples completed the Love Stories Scale, an

instrument designed to assess preferences for 25 metaphors for love. Results showed that

fantasy emerged as a prototypical theme for Americans that was missing from the Chinese

responses. For the Chinese, democracy and history emerged as themes, where the sharing of

power and history between partners was an important ingredient of love. Pornography emerged

in both Chinese and American themes.

7. Another study examined the influence of one’s social network on intention to marry and relational commitment to another in both China and the United States. The familial network of a potential mate is highly valued in East Asian cultures, particularly in China. To be sure, however, social network support is positively related to relationship development and stability in the United States as well

XIV. Arranged Marriages

1. In some cultures an individual's preference in selecting a mate becomes moot because the person's marriage is arranged by his/her parents or a trusted family friend and/or mediator. In many instances, the bride and groom of an arranged marriage do not even meet until the day of the wedding. In many cultures, a bride price similar to that of a dowry is an essential ingredient to the arranged marriage. Although not as common as they once were, arranged marriages are still practiced in a variety of cultures and within some micro-cultural groups in the United States, such as the Hmong.

XV. Marital Dissolution and Divorce Across Cultures

1. Like marriage practices, divorce customs vary across cultures. In many cultures social and economic issues often play a role in divorce decisions. Factors such as income, sexual dissatisfaction, childlessness, women's equality issues, religion, and the ease with which one can obtain a divorce all vary across cultures. In general, monogamy is correlated with lower divorce rates than polygyny.