Mediation

Sujith Ellekuttige Essay 2 draft.docx

by Sujith Ellekuttige

Submission date: 25-Jul-2021 09:14PM (UTC-0500) Submission ID: 1624016542 File name: Sujith_Ellekuttige_Essay_2_draft.docx (20.66K) Word count: 1472 Character count: 7125

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Citation Needed 3

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Well stated!

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14% SIMILARITY INDEX

11% INTERNET SOURCES

1% PUBLICATIONS

11% STUDENT PAPERS

1 8% 2 3% 3 2% 4 1%

Exclude quotes Off

Exclude bibliography Off

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Sujith Ellekuttige Essay 2 draft.docx ORIGINALITY REPORT

PRIMARY SOURCES

Submitted to South Dakota Board of Regents Student Paper

usvisagroup.com Internet Source

www.nytimes.com Internet Source

Joseph Chamie, Barry Mirkin. "Same-Sex Marriage: A New Social Phenomenon", Population and Development Review, 2011 Publication

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FINAL GRADE

/10

Sujith Ellekuttige Essay 2 draft.docx GRADEMARK REPORT

GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

PAGE 1

Comment 1

How much of this background is necessary to set up the argument/analysis you will offer of Modern Family? Is it necessary to list all of these essays? Or would it be better to focus more on the specific concepts that relate most to your overall point?

punct.

Check punctuation.

Additional Comment

This is part of the quote, right? So it should all be enclosed in quotation marks. You can add single quotes to signify a quote within a quote.

Self Ref.

Self-referential comments like this (I'm going to argue.../This essay will explore.../etc.) draw attention to the question of why? These statements lead your reader to ask that question, which can undermine the effectiveness of your argument, so, can you use this introduction to more effectively create context for your argument?

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Comment 2

We are practicing writing academic essays, not just class assignments, so think of your audience as anyone in our university (or at least,

Dev.

Could you add more detail to develop this idea? (See SMH ch. 5d)

Additional Comment

What happens, what is said, what is done in the show to demonstrate that this is way this is "supposed" to be, according to the show?

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(Or aren't you actually talking about Modern Family here?)

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Could you add more detail to develop this idea? (See SMH ch. 5d)

Awk. Awkward: The expression or construction is cumbersome or difficult to read. Consider rewriting.

num.

Check number (singular/plural). (See SMH ch. 61)

Citation Needed Cite Source: Please use the link below to find links to information regarding specific citation styles: http://www.plagiarism.org/plag_article_citation_styles.html Additional Comment

You could also develop this reference and add more detail about Bandura's ideas, because it seems very helpful in supporting the overall.

Comment 3

What does the viewer learn/take away from these chracters? Can you offer specific examples of the scenes, language, etc. to show what viewers are seeing/hearing and how that might influence their thoughts and feelings?

Awk. Awkward: The expression or construction is cumbersome or difficult to read. Consider rewriting.

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Comment 4

I'm curious about the relationship between legalization and these movie portrayals. Do you think the movie portrayals followed the legalization? Or do you think it was already in motion but changed somehow? 

Comment 5

Can you explain in more detail what this looks like on the show (especiall for readers like me who have never watched Modern Family)?

Well stated!

Well stated! Clear and effective!

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Comment 6 no comment

WW

Wrong word.(See SMH ch. 30 a and b)

connection?

Here you stray from the requirements of the assignment. The connection to the argument/purpose of the essay is unclear. 

Additional Comment

This is a very different argument from the type of influence Modern Family might have on our conceptions of family/gender roles. Do you think you need to add those other example and this question of violence in this essay? Especially since you immediately return to that other example, it seems more useful to maintain that focus and simply add more detail, analysis, and explanation.

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Dev.

Could you add more detail to develop this idea? (See SMH ch. 5d)

Additional Comment

Could you also use this example to think about the parenting approach, gender roles, etc. in the family? Does this reinforce some traditional values? Does this fit the mother role that you said Cameron plays in the family? Is it possible that having a male mother figure acting in this way makes this nontraditional family more familiar to traditional families and creates connections/breaks down stereotypes? 

These are just a few ideas, but if you wanted to analyze the scene in this way, you might even quote directly the language Cameron uses and compare that to what viewers might be used to, the relationship/dynamics between the characters, etc. Detail will really push your analysis and help you make a clearer point!

Comment 7 no comment

Comment 8

It is important to note that this kind of teaching is probably not the primary goal of a show like this, but pointing out that regardless of that fact, the show does model values and judgements about this system allows you to point to the importance of realizing that even our entertainment is an important part of shaping our thinking and values. 

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Wordy

Excessive wordiness can lead to unnecessary confusion. Revise for concision and clarity.

Comment 9

Analysis is important here. So, is this outcome realistic? How does it compare with what might really happen when a child is kidnapped? Does the show, then, paint the criminal justice system in a positive or negative light? And how might that influence viewers' thinking on the subject?

PAGE 5

connection?

Here you stray from the requirements of the assignment. The connection to the argument/purpose of the essay is unclear. 

Additional Comment

Here, too, I think you are steering away from the focus on Modern Family that would give you a clear argument and allow you to develop deep analysis. I would suggest maintaining that focus rather than switching gears to discuss social media.

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Comment 10

Remember that for this essay, you need to incorporate at least two sources. Just be sure you meet that requirement before you submit the final draft!

(If you have a source for the Bandura information, that could help you meet this requirement!)

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Check punctuation.

Comment 11

Michael Keller

Title

Essay titles and other works that are part of a larger whole should appear in quotation marks; titles of books and other complete works are italicized.