a. Identify the prepositional phrases. Eliminate ones that can be remedied with possessives.
b. Identify the “be” verbs. These can sometimes be replaced with an action verb.
c. Identify the “action” in the sentence. You will likely find the action nominalized, that is, turned into a noun, with no actor or action.
d. Express the action in simple, active verbs.
e. Eliminate other, unnecessary wordiness.
1. The field of engineering is a career that should always cause job seekers to become interested because this field offers many kinds of opportunities that are financially and intellectually rewarding.
2. The failure of the business community to place the proper restraints on itself has caused many members of the general public to look upon business with a skeptical eye.
3. One of the most pressing problems encountered by college students it the fact that they cannot manage their time effectively.
4. There are many men and women who practice law who find out that they can engage in unethical legal practices and still prevail in a court of law.
5. Many court judges are possessed with attitudes of activism, a term which means that they inject their personal political attitudes into all the decisions that they make.
6. There are many kinds of intelligence possessed by many different people, but it is difficult for some people to determine what kind of intelligence they are in possession of.
7. Business schools attempt to teach their students the subject matter that is relevant to their career path, but employers report that their new graduates do not have the “soft skills” necessary to be successful.
8. Entrepreneurs are people who are naturally inclined to try to solve problems.
9. One of the best ways to understand the field of history is to envision it as a stage upon which all humans perform their activity.
10. Some small towns and cities experience problems when they try to develop their economic base because they lack a workforce that is educated or in possession of marketable skills.
II. Rewrite the paragraph below, combining sentences and adding transitions as necessary:
Steve Jobs was one of the most successful entrepreneurs in American history. He was not particularly attracted to wealth. He was inspired to invent by believing that his products would change peoples’ lives for the better. Jobs had the advantage of supportive parents and a stimulating environment. He was a self-made success because he was focused and directed. As a young man, Jobs exposed himself to creative people and experimented with different lifestyles and religious beliefs. As an older man, Jobs put his experiences to use by developing products that were useful and fun to use. Jobs was successful because he knew how to inspire and coerce people to share his vision. Jobs’ personality could be abrasive, and he alienated people and made many enemies over his career.
III. Identify and correct the errors (fragments, comma, apostrophe, comma splices, etc.). You can either make the corrections in the original text or rewrite the entire paragraph.
The study of law in the United States, is of interest about what it reveals of legal and literary history and it also leads to a larger consideration of the nature of law as an intellectual, aesthetic and social creation. Law and literature forms the foundation for study in U.S. universities, they represent a rich mixture of liberal arts, humanities, and social sciences.
As Carl Smith noted in his essays American writers were nationalists who celebrated the uniqueness of their countrys new institutions and they urged other nations to emulate the American example. For each of the writers the term republicanism provided a common frame of reference as defined by the revolutionary generation the term suggested a representative form of government but republican ideology encompassed social as well as political values it called for a society of self-reliant freeholders who should be encouraged to pursue wealth and status with a minimum of governmental interferences. As asserted by adherents of such an ideology the laws most important functions are to facilitate economic growth and social mobility by releasing private entrepreneurial energies. As the nation moved from a ruler-centered model of social organization to one of free exchange competition came to replace the colonial ideals of paternalism and security.