Psychology: Person-Centered Coaching
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Scott Hubbell, M.Ed., LMHC
Person-Centered Coaching Psych – 498
Eastern Washington University @ Bellevue
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What do you want to learn
from this class?
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? 2 Write down your goal for today
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SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF THAT YOU: WANT TO CHANGE NEED TO CHANGE SHOULD CHANGE HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT CHANGING
…BUT HAVEN’T CHANGED YET
SOMETHING YOU HAVE AMBIVALENCE ABOUT
Discussion Topic
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1. Ordering, directing
2. Warning, threatening
3. Giving advice, making suggestions, providing solutions
4. Persuading with logic, arguing, lecturing
5. Moralizing, preaching
6. Judging, criticizing, blaming
Thomas Gordon’s 12 Roadblocks
7. Agreeing, approving, praising
8. Shaming, ridiculing, name calling
9. Interpreting, analyzing
10. Reasoning, sympathizing
11. Questioning, probing
12. Withdrawing, distracting, humoring, changing the subject
Thomas Gordon’s 12 Roadblocks
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SO, WHAT IS PERSON-CENTERED COACHING?
“COACHING IS UNLOCKING PEOPLE'S
POTENTIAL TO MAXIMIZE THEIR OWN
PERFORMANCE. IT IS HELPING THEM TO LEARN
RATHER THAN TEACHING THEM.” JOHN WHITMORE, COACHING FOR PERFORMANCE: GROWING HUMAN POTENTIAL AND
PURPOSE: THE PRINCIPLES AND PRACTICE OF COACHING AND LEADERSHIP.
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SO, WHAT IS PERSON-CENTERED COACHING?
“PARTNERING WITH CLIENTS IN A THOUGHT- PROVOKING AND CREATIVE PROCESS THAT INSPIRES THEM TO MAXIMIZE THEIR PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL POTENTIAL.”
INTERNATIONAL COACHING FEDERATION
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SO, WHAT IS PERSON-CENTERED COACHING?
“IT’S A BEHAVIOR, AND THE BEHAVIOR IS THIS: CAN YOU STAY CURIOUS A LITTLE BIT LONGER? CAN YOU RUSH TO ACTION AND ADVICE- GIVING A LITTLE BIT MORE SLOWLY?”
MICHAEL BUNGAY-STANIER, THE COACHING HABIT
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• “COACHING IS UNLOCKING PEOPLE'S POTENTIAL TO MAXIMIZE THEIR
OWN PERFORMANCE. IT IS HELPING THEM TO LEARN RATHER THAN
TEACHING THEM.”
• “PARTNERING WITH CLIENTS IN A THOUGHT-PROVOKING AND CREATIVE PROCESS THAT INSPIRES THEM TO MAXIMIZE THEIR
PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL POTENTIAL.”
• “IT’S A BEHAVIOR, AND THE BEHAVIOR IS THIS: CAN YOU STAY
CURIOUS A LITTLE BIT LONGER? CAN YOU RUSH TO ACTION AND
ADVICE-GIVING A LITTLE BIT MORE SLOWLY?” 10
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So what is Motivational Interviewing? Layperson:
A collaborative communication style to strengthen a person’s own motivation for and commitment to change.
Practitioner:
A person-centered counseling style for addressing the common problem of ambivalence about change.
Technical:
A collaborative, goal-oriented style of communication with particular attention to the language of change. It is designed to strengthen personal motivation for & commitment to a specific goal by eliciting and exploring the persons own reasons for change within an atmosphere of acceptance & compassion.
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SELF-DETERMINATION THEORY
VS.
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INTRINSIC MOTIVATION OVER THE PAST FOUR DECADES,
EXPERIMENTAL AND FIELD RESEARCH GUIDED BY SELF-DETERMINATION THEORY HAS
FOUND INTRINSIC MOTIVATION TO PREDICT ENHANCED LEARNING, PERFORMANCE,
CREATIVITY, OPTIMAL DEVELOPMENT AND PSYCHOLOGICAL WELLNESS.
(SDT; RYAN AND DECI, 2017)15
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READINESS RULER
Willing: The importance of change
Able: Confidence for change
Ready: A matter of priorities
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Most change doesn’t occur overnight
Change is a gradual process with occasional setbacks – Not an outcome
People get stuck in the early stages
Individuals who are reluctant resist being pushed to action/change
Contextual: all elements of the person are affected (H.A.L.T.)
“He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying.”
Friedrich Nietzsche
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REALITIES OF CHANGE
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“TAKING A NEW STEP, UTTERING A NEW WORD, IS WHAT PEOPLE
FEAR MOST.” FYODOR DOSTOYEVSKY
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Offers framework for understanding Discord and behavior change
Series of stages through which people progressively pass as they change
behavior 20
Pre-Contemplation…
Contemplation
Preparation
Action
Relapse/Recurrence
Maintenance
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Cues for Pre-Contemplation
Unwilling or too discouraged to
change
Unaware that a problem exists
Ignores/resIsts evIdence
Not considering change/does not intend to change
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CHARACTERISTICS: APPEAR TO BE HESITANT, ARGUMENTATIVE, HOPELESS OR IN "DENIAL.”
TRAP: NATURAL TENDENCY IS TO TRY TO "CONVINCE" THEM OR PUSH INTO ACTION
YOUR ROLE: ACTIVELY LISTEN & EMPATHICALLY ENGAGE
Pre-Contemplation
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Becomes aware that a problem exists
Considering the possibility of change
Acknowledges concern & reason to change
Ambivalent – reasons to change & reasons not to change (PRO/CON)
Stuck in “Chronic Contemplation” – substitute thinking for action
Cues for Contemplation
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GOAL: PERSON WILL EXAMINE BENEFITS AND BARRIERS TO CHANGE.
YOUR ROLE:
DEVELOP AND MAINTAIN ENGAGEMENT
PERSONALIZE RISKS/REWARDS
EXPLORE VALUES; PERCEIVED “BOTTOM LINE.”
CAN BE MORE STRAIGHTFORWARD
Contemplation
Specific planning for change relatively soon (aiming within a month)
Examining strengths & capabilities
Setting goals and making commitments
Commitment is strengthened
Cues for Preparation
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ACTIVELY MODIFYING… BEHAVIORS EMOTIONS SURROUNDINGS
…IN SPECIFIC WAYS
BEHAVIOR CHANGE IS THE MAIN FOCUS
REEVALUATING OF SELF-IMAGE
GRIEF ISSUES
Action
Maintaining focus & pursuing the goal
Improving problem solving skills & functional strategies
Staying Focused (preventing relapse/backslide) learn to detect and guard against triggers
identifying & changing destructive thought processes and emotional responses
develop new coping skills to handle relapse prone situations.
Action
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Achieved the goal and sustaining the gains
Continuing healthy strategies
Maintaining focus
Pursuing new/complementary goals and activities
(takes minimum 6 mo Action – up to 2 yrs Action)
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit.” Aristotle
Maintenance
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RELAPSE: A STEP BACK
NOT NECESSARILY A FAILURE
“You can’t fall off a mountain”
Jack Kerouac
Total behavior change in the beginning is rare
People backslide, even those serious about behavior change
Triggers exist for all of us (HALT)
Intensity of this stage is MAJOR indicator of investment in the goal
Relapse/Recurrence
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A person in any later stage can move to any former stage… is often a normal part of change
Time in any stage may be transient (lasting for moments, minutes, days, weeks…)
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People can get stuck in the early stages.
Individuals who are hesitant or reluctant resist being pushed to action/change
Approach most effective when appropriate to individual’s stage of change (Stage Matching).
Assumptions of SOC Model
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Precontemplation Empathy/Understanding
Contemplation Explore & Amplify Ambivalence
Preparation Clarify Focus, Plan & Set Goals
Action Support Self-Efficacy
Maintenance Monitor Relapse Triggers
Relapse Roll with it - Reassess and Revise
Stage Intervention
Stage Matching Interventions
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WARNING!!! Mismatching your approach to the person’s
stage of change fosters non-compliance
When you get attached to an outcome
and you push a quicker pace, you facilitate “discord”
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“THIS PERSON IS PRE-CONTEMPLATIVE ABOUT HIS/HER TARGET BEHAVIOR”
NOT “THIS PERSON IS IN THE PRECONTEMPLATIVE STAGE”
NOT “HE/SHE IS A PRECONTEMPLATOR”
STAGES OF CHANGE ARE TARGET/GOAL SPECIFIC –
NOT PERSON SPECIFIC
COMMUNICATION STYLES ON A CONTINUUM
DIRECT TEACH
INSTRUCT
LEAD
GUIDE DRAW OUT
ENCOURAGE
MOTIVATE
FOLLOW LISTEN
UNDERSTAND
GO ALONG WITH
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COMPLEX SKILL
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EMPATHY IS…..
SEEING WITH THE EYES OF ANOTHER
HEARING WITH THE EARS OF ANOTHER, AND
FEELING WITH THE HEART OF ANOTHER
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EMPATHY VS.
SYMPATHY 41
‘Righting Reflex’
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https://vimeo.com/121078913
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“The force that opposes motion”
Not the individual - relationship oriented
Focusing outside the self
Message that someone or something else is the problem
Context of a relationship or system
Lightning rod 43
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“ACCEPTANCE FACILITATES CHANGE, WHILE PERCEIVED EXPECTATION OF
CHANGE GENERATES DISCORD”
Carl Roger’s Paradox
Ambivalence
Discord VS.
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PEOPLE ARE OFTEN MORE PERSUADED BY WHAT THEY HEAR THEMSELVES SAY
THAN BY WHAT OTHER PEOPLE TELL THEM.
Carl Roger’s Paradox
Whatever it is that you are doing – pushing, confronting, educating, explaining, etc.
Your agenda Your righting reflex
…with Discord by reflecting the viewpoint of the individual
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STRATEGICALLY REINFORCING:
STRENGTHS
HEALTHY COPING SKILLS
PRO-SOCIAL: THOUGHTS (REALLY COULD DO OR SHOULDN’T DO)
BELIEFS (INVADING SOMEONE’S HOME IS A PERSONAL VIOLATION)
VALUES (FAMILY IS A PRIORITY)
BEHAVIORS (DRANK, BUT CHOSE NOT TO DRIVE)
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“I’M SURE PROUD OF YOU, I TOLD YOU THAT YOU COULD DO IT AND TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.”
“FOLLOWING THROUGH ON GETTING YOUR DEGREE AND GETTING BACK INTO THE WORKFORCE HAS HELPED YOU BECOME THE ROLE MODEL YOU HAVE WANTED TO BE FOR YOUR KIDS”
“WOW! GOOD JOB! I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU.”
“YOU KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU FROM THE BEGINNING AND YOU PROVED YOURSELF RIGHT BY PASSING.”
“I’M SO GLAD YOU FIGURED THAT OUT! IT SHOWS ME THAT YOU ARE TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY.”
“YOU REALIZED THAT DIGGING INTO THE HOMEWORK AND NOT PROCRASTINATING WOULD MAKE A DIFFERENCE ON THE TEST AND IT DID.”
Approve/Praise vs. Affirmation
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VALUES & STRENGTHS
Why does the drug dealer go to work?
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NEW Partner in breakout rooms. Have these handouts ready… • Tower of Values • List of Strengths
Ask about ‘foundational strengths’: • “What’s an example…” • “How can you tell/how has it served you…” • “Why is that a strength for you/how have you used it in different situations?”
Ask about ‘desired strengths’: • “What about that is so important…” • “What does that value look like in your life?”
Tower of Values: Part 1
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1. Affirm strengths (beyond praise)
2. Summarize interview with a guess at his/her values
3. Ask about use of strengths to align with values in the future…
Tower of Values: Part 2
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1. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT SMOKING WEED?
2. WHERE DID YOU GROW UP?
3. ISN’T IT IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO HAVE MEANING IN YOUR LIFE?
4. ARE YOU WILLING TO COME BACK FOR AN APPOINTMENT?
5. WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE TODAY?
6. DO YOU WANT TO STAY IN THIS RELATIONSHIP?
7. HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT WALKING AS A SIMPLE FORM OF EXERCISE?
8. IN THE PAST, HOW HAVE YOU OVERCOME AN IMPORTANT OBSTACLE IN YOUR LIFE?
9. DO YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR HEALTH?
10. IS THIS AN OPEN OR A CLOSED QUESTION?
Open vs. Closed
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Desire: “What are some of those driving feelings that motivate you to want to make this change?”
Ability: “What are some skills/strengths or past successes that let you know you can do this?”
Reason: “Why would you want to make this change?” (why you know this is important)
Need: “What some undisputable facts or realities that make it a necessity to change soon?”
Commitment: “So what is one thing you are willing to do?”
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EVOCATIVE OPEN QUESTIONS
THE SEVEN
7 • KICKSTART: What’s on your mind?
• AWE: And what else?
• FOCUS: What’s the real challenge here for you?
• FOUNDATION: What do you want?
• LAZY: How can I help?
• STRATEGIC: If you’re saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?
• LEARNING: What was most useful for you?
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We have two ears and only one
tongue in order that we may hear more and speak
less.” ― Diogenes Laertius
Reflective Listening
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WHO IS THIS PERSON? Verbalize it – “You…”; “It’s …”
WHAT DO I FOCUS ON? What do they feel, want, think, need
WHAT DO I RESPOND TO? Not everything. You are selective & strategic
MOST IMPORTANT SKILL? Definite maybe?
WHAT ARE WORDS? School, work, pain, purpose, DOG
Strategic Reflections
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“EVEN THOUGH NOTHING HAS HAPPENED, I’VE BEEN FEELING MORE DEPRESSED LATELY.”
Simple Reflection Repeating an element of what the speaker has said
“You’ve been more depressed lately”
Staying close to what the speaker has said with some synonyms
“You are feeling a little more sad about life than usual.”
Complex Reflection Inferring/guessing at the speaker’s meaning and reflecting it back
“You are struggling right now and want to understand why you keep sliding backwards.”
Emphasizing the emotional dimension through feeling/metaphors
“It’s like a cloud that’s descended on you and taking your energy.”
Strategic Reflections
EMPATHY HOW HE/SHE FEELS
Strategic Reflections
Direction What he/she wants 60
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REFLECT FOR…
EMPATHY &
DIRECTION
NOTICE DISCORD (THE BRAKES)
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“WITH LOSING MY JOB AND MY FINANCIAL AID GETTING CUT, I’VE BEEN FEELING MORE DEPRESSED LATELY. I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE DROPPING OUT OF SCHOOL, BUT I NEED HELP SOON OR I WON’T BE ABLE TO EVEN FINISH THE CLASSES I AM IN RIGHT NOW.”
EMPATHY (How he/she feels and/or thinks) “The fact that you are even here is almost impossible to comprehend, and the situation has been way harder on you emotionally than you expected it to be.”
Direction(What he/she wants) Staying in school is a top priority for you, so you are ready to start looking at what we can strategize together to get your expenses met.”
Strategic Reflections
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HOME WORK SUMMARY 1. FROM SLIDE 17: AFTER THIS CLASS REFLECT, REFINE, CONSIDER, ADJUST,
TEST, AND ARRIVE AT YOUR COACHING DEFINITION. THEN EXPLAIN IN A 1PG DOUBLE-SPACED PAPER WHY YOU CHOSE YOUR DEFINITION. WHAT STUCK OUT TO YOU? OF THE MANY WAYS TO DEFINE PERSON-CENTERED COACHING, WHY DID YOU GO WITH YOUR PARTICULAR WORDING?
2. GO COACH SOMEONE! HAVE AT LEAST A 15” PERSON-CENTERED COACHING CONVERSATION. YOU DON’T HAVE TO RECORD IT BUT I WANT YOU TO GET SOME REACTIONS FROM THE PERSON YOU COACHED. FEEL FREE TO HAVE MORE THAN ONE COACHING CONVERSATION. WRITE A 2-PG DOUBLE-SPACED PAPER ON WHAT YOU LEARNED, WHAT DID YOU DO WELL & WHAT WOULD YOU DO DIFFERENTLY. TURN IN BY NOV 9TH. 64
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IMPORTANCE SCALE: HOW IMPORTANT IS IT FOR YOU RIGHT NOW TO...? ON A SCALE FROM
0 - 10... WHAT NUMBER WOULD YOU GIVE YOURSELF?
0__________________________________10
CONFIDENCE SCALE: IF YOU DID DECIDE TO CHANGE, HOW CONFIDENT ARE YOU THAT YOU
WOULD SUCCEED? ON A SCALE FROM 0 -10... WHAT NUMBER WOULD YOU GIVE YOURSELF?
0__________________________________10
Importance/Confidence Ruler
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IMPORTANCE SCALE:
“AN EIGHT? EXPLAIN TO ME WHY YOU ARE AN EIGHT AND NOT A SEVEN.”
CONFIDENCE SCALE:
“YOU ARE AT A SIX? WHAT WOULD IT TAKE FOR YOU TO MOVE FROM A SIX TO A SEVEN?”
Importance/Confidence Ruler
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SAME DISCUSSION TOPIC AMBIVALENCE
USE THESE OPEN QUESTIONS, AND THEN…
ACTIVELY LISTEN W/ GENUINE INTEREST TO UNDERSTAND HIS/HER DILEMMA…
REFLECT CRITICAL ELEMENTS, CHANGE TALK, EMPATHY, DIRECTION
ASK “ANYTHING ELSE?” “WHAT ELSE?” “TELL ME MORE ABOUT THAT”
SMART GOALS • SPECIFIC (SIMPLE, SENSIBLE, SIGNIFICANT).
• MEASURABLE (MEANINGFUL, MOTIVATING).
• ACHIEVABLE (AGREED, ATTAINABLE).
• RELEVANT (REASONABLE, REALISTIC AND RESOURCED, RESULTS-BASED).
• TIME BOUND (TIME-BASED, TIME LIMITED, TIME/COST LIMITED, TIMELY, TIME-SENSITIVE).
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WORST CASE SCENARIO BEST CASE SCENARIO
Querying Extremes
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LOOKING FORWARD
LOOKING BACK
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E ELICIT
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P PROVIDE E ELICIT