Psychology: Person-Centered Coaching

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10/13/2020

Scott Hubbell, M.Ed., LMHC

Person-Centered Coaching Psych – 498

Eastern Washington University @ Bellevue

What do you want to learn

from this class?

? ?

? 2 Write down your goal for today

SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF THAT YOU:  WANT TO CHANGE  NEED TO CHANGE  SHOULD CHANGE  HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT CHANGING

…BUT HAVEN’T CHANGED YET

SOMETHING YOU HAVE AMBIVALENCE ABOUT

Discussion Topic

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1. Ordering, directing

2. Warning, threatening

3. Giving advice, making suggestions, providing solutions

4. Persuading with logic, arguing, lecturing

5. Moralizing, preaching

6. Judging, criticizing, blaming

Thomas Gordon’s 12 Roadblocks

7. Agreeing, approving, praising

8. Shaming, ridiculing, name calling

9. Interpreting, analyzing

10. Reasoning, sympathizing

11. Questioning, probing

12. Withdrawing, distracting, humoring, changing the subject

Thomas Gordon’s 12 Roadblocks

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SO, WHAT IS PERSON-CENTERED COACHING?

“COACHING IS UNLOCKING PEOPLE'S

POTENTIAL TO MAXIMIZE THEIR OWN

PERFORMANCE. IT IS HELPING THEM TO LEARN

RATHER THAN TEACHING THEM.” JOHN WHITMORE, COACHING FOR PERFORMANCE: GROWING HUMAN POTENTIAL AND

PURPOSE: THE PRINCIPLES AND PRACTICE OF COACHING AND LEADERSHIP.

SO, WHAT IS PERSON-CENTERED COACHING?

“PARTNERING WITH CLIENTS IN A THOUGHT- PROVOKING AND CREATIVE PROCESS THAT INSPIRES THEM TO MAXIMIZE THEIR PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL POTENTIAL.”

INTERNATIONAL COACHING FEDERATION

SO, WHAT IS PERSON-CENTERED COACHING?

“IT’S A BEHAVIOR, AND THE BEHAVIOR IS THIS: CAN YOU STAY CURIOUS A LITTLE BIT LONGER? CAN YOU RUSH TO ACTION AND ADVICE- GIVING A LITTLE BIT MORE SLOWLY?”

MICHAEL BUNGAY-STANIER, THE COACHING HABIT

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• “COACHING IS UNLOCKING PEOPLE'S POTENTIAL TO MAXIMIZE THEIR

OWN PERFORMANCE. IT IS HELPING THEM TO LEARN RATHER THAN

TEACHING THEM.”

• “PARTNERING WITH CLIENTS IN A THOUGHT-PROVOKING AND CREATIVE PROCESS THAT INSPIRES THEM TO MAXIMIZE THEIR

PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL POTENTIAL.”

• “IT’S A BEHAVIOR, AND THE BEHAVIOR IS THIS: CAN YOU STAY

CURIOUS A LITTLE BIT LONGER? CAN YOU RUSH TO ACTION AND

ADVICE-GIVING A LITTLE BIT MORE SLOWLY?” 10

So what is Motivational Interviewing? Layperson:

 A collaborative communication style to strengthen a person’s own motivation for and commitment to change.

Practitioner:

 A person-centered counseling style for addressing the common problem of ambivalence about change.

Technical:

 A collaborative, goal-oriented style of communication with particular attention to the language of change. It is designed to strengthen personal motivation for & commitment to a specific goal by eliciting and exploring the persons own reasons for change within an atmosphere of acceptance & compassion.

. 12

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SELF-DETERMINATION THEORY

VS.

INTRINSIC MOTIVATION OVER THE PAST FOUR DECADES,

EXPERIMENTAL AND FIELD RESEARCH GUIDED BY SELF-DETERMINATION THEORY HAS

FOUND INTRINSIC MOTIVATION TO PREDICT ENHANCED LEARNING, PERFORMANCE,

CREATIVITY, OPTIMAL DEVELOPMENT AND PSYCHOLOGICAL WELLNESS.

(SDT; RYAN AND DECI, 2017)15

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READINESS RULER

 Willing: The importance of change

 Able: Confidence for change

 Ready: A matter of priorities

 Most change doesn’t occur overnight

 Change is a gradual process with occasional setbacks – Not an outcome

 People get stuck in the early stages

 Individuals who are reluctant resist being pushed to action/change

 Contextual: all elements of the person are affected (H.A.L.T.)

“He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying.”

Friedrich Nietzsche

REALITIES OF CHANGE

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“TAKING A NEW STEP, UTTERING A NEW WORD, IS WHAT PEOPLE

FEAR MOST.” FYODOR DOSTOYEVSKY

Offers framework for understanding Discord and behavior change

Series of stages through which people progressively pass as they change

behavior 20

Pre-Contemplation…

Contemplation

Preparation

Action

Relapse/Recurrence

Maintenance

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Cues for Pre-Contemplation

Unwilling or too discouraged to

change

Unaware that a problem exists

Ignores/resIsts evIdence

Not considering change/does not intend to change

CHARACTERISTICS: APPEAR TO BE HESITANT, ARGUMENTATIVE, HOPELESS OR IN "DENIAL.”

TRAP: NATURAL TENDENCY IS TO TRY TO "CONVINCE" THEM OR PUSH INTO ACTION

YOUR ROLE: ACTIVELY LISTEN & EMPATHICALLY ENGAGE

Pre-Contemplation

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 Becomes aware that a problem exists

 Considering the possibility of change

 Acknowledges concern & reason to change

 Ambivalent – reasons to change & reasons not to change (PRO/CON)

 Stuck in “Chronic Contemplation” – substitute thinking for action

Cues for Contemplation

GOAL: PERSON WILL EXAMINE BENEFITS AND BARRIERS TO CHANGE.

YOUR ROLE:

DEVELOP AND MAINTAIN ENGAGEMENT

PERSONALIZE RISKS/REWARDS

EXPLORE VALUES; PERCEIVED “BOTTOM LINE.”

CAN BE MORE STRAIGHTFORWARD

Contemplation

Specific planning for change relatively soon (aiming within a month)

 Examining strengths & capabilities

 Setting goals and making commitments

 Commitment is strengthened

Cues for Preparation

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ACTIVELY MODIFYING… BEHAVIORS EMOTIONS SURROUNDINGS

…IN SPECIFIC WAYS

BEHAVIOR CHANGE IS THE MAIN FOCUS

REEVALUATING OF SELF-IMAGE

GRIEF ISSUES

Action

 Maintaining focus & pursuing the goal

 Improving problem solving skills & functional strategies

 Staying Focused (preventing relapse/backslide)  learn to detect and guard against triggers

 identifying & changing destructive thought processes and emotional responses

 develop new coping skills to handle relapse prone situations.

Action

 Achieved the goal and sustaining the gains

 Continuing healthy strategies

 Maintaining focus

 Pursuing new/complementary goals and activities

(takes minimum 6 mo Action – up to 2 yrs Action)

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit.” Aristotle

Maintenance

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RELAPSE: A STEP BACK

NOT NECESSARILY A FAILURE

“You can’t fall off a mountain”

Jack Kerouac

 Total behavior change in the beginning is rare

 People backslide, even those serious about behavior change

 Triggers exist for all of us (HALT)

 Intensity of this stage is MAJOR indicator of investment in the goal

Relapse/Recurrence

 A person in any later stage can move to any former stage… is often a normal part of change

 Time in any stage may be transient (lasting for moments, minutes, days, weeks…)

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 People can get stuck in the early stages.

 Individuals who are hesitant or reluctant resist being pushed to action/change

 Approach most effective when appropriate to individual’s stage of change (Stage Matching).

Assumptions of SOC Model

Precontemplation Empathy/Understanding

Contemplation Explore & Amplify Ambivalence

Preparation Clarify Focus, Plan & Set Goals

Action Support Self-Efficacy

Maintenance Monitor Relapse Triggers

Relapse Roll with it - Reassess and Revise

Stage Intervention

Stage Matching Interventions

WARNING!!! Mismatching your approach to the person’s

stage of change fosters non-compliance

When you get attached to an outcome

and you push a quicker pace, you facilitate “discord”

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“THIS PERSON IS PRE-CONTEMPLATIVE ABOUT HIS/HER TARGET BEHAVIOR”

NOT “THIS PERSON IS IN THE PRECONTEMPLATIVE STAGE”

NOT “HE/SHE IS A PRECONTEMPLATOR”

STAGES OF CHANGE ARE TARGET/GOAL SPECIFIC –

NOT PERSON SPECIFIC

COMMUNICATION STYLES ON A CONTINUUM

DIRECT TEACH

INSTRUCT

LEAD

GUIDE DRAW OUT

ENCOURAGE

MOTIVATE

FOLLOW LISTEN

UNDERSTAND

GO ALONG WITH

COMPLEX SKILL

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EMPATHY IS…..

SEEING WITH THE EYES OF ANOTHER

HEARING WITH THE EARS OF ANOTHER, AND

FEELING WITH THE HEART OF ANOTHER

EMPATHY VS.

SYMPATHY 41

‘Righting Reflex’

https://vimeo.com/121078913

10/13/2020

“The force that opposes motion”

 Not the individual - relationship oriented

 Focusing outside the self

 Message that someone or something else is the problem

 Context of a relationship or system

 Lightning rod 43

“ACCEPTANCE FACILITATES CHANGE, WHILE PERCEIVED EXPECTATION OF

CHANGE GENERATES DISCORD”

Carl Roger’s Paradox

Ambivalence

Discord VS.

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PEOPLE ARE OFTEN MORE PERSUADED BY WHAT THEY HEAR THEMSELVES SAY

THAN BY WHAT OTHER PEOPLE TELL THEM.

Carl Roger’s Paradox

Whatever it is that you are doing – pushing, confronting, educating, explaining, etc.

Your agenda Your righting reflex

…with Discord by reflecting the viewpoint of the individual

STRATEGICALLY REINFORCING:

STRENGTHS

HEALTHY COPING SKILLS

PRO-SOCIAL: THOUGHTS (REALLY COULD DO OR SHOULDN’T DO)

BELIEFS (INVADING SOMEONE’S HOME IS A PERSONAL VIOLATION)

VALUES (FAMILY IS A PRIORITY)

BEHAVIORS (DRANK, BUT CHOSE NOT TO DRIVE)

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“I’M SURE PROUD OF YOU, I TOLD YOU THAT YOU COULD DO IT AND TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.”

“FOLLOWING THROUGH ON GETTING YOUR DEGREE AND GETTING BACK INTO THE WORKFORCE HAS HELPED YOU BECOME THE ROLE MODEL YOU HAVE WANTED TO BE FOR YOUR KIDS”

“WOW! GOOD JOB! I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU.”

“YOU KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU FROM THE BEGINNING AND YOU PROVED YOURSELF RIGHT BY PASSING.”

“I’M SO GLAD YOU FIGURED THAT OUT! IT SHOWS ME THAT YOU ARE TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY.”

“YOU REALIZED THAT DIGGING INTO THE HOMEWORK AND NOT PROCRASTINATING WOULD MAKE A DIFFERENCE ON THE TEST AND IT DID.”

Approve/Praise vs. Affirmation

VALUES & STRENGTHS

Why does the drug dealer go to work?

NEW Partner in breakout rooms. Have these handouts ready… • Tower of Values • List of Strengths

Ask about ‘foundational strengths’: • “What’s an example…” • “How can you tell/how has it served you…” • “Why is that a strength for you/how have you used it in different situations?”

Ask about ‘desired strengths’: • “What about that is so important…” • “What does that value look like in your life?”

Tower of Values: Part 1

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1. Affirm strengths (beyond praise)

2. Summarize interview with a guess at his/her values

3. Ask about use of strengths to align with values in the future…

Tower of Values: Part 2

1. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT SMOKING WEED?

2. WHERE DID YOU GROW UP?

3. ISN’T IT IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO HAVE MEANING IN YOUR LIFE?

4. ARE YOU WILLING TO COME BACK FOR AN APPOINTMENT?

5. WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE TODAY?

6. DO YOU WANT TO STAY IN THIS RELATIONSHIP?

7. HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT WALKING AS A SIMPLE FORM OF EXERCISE?

8. IN THE PAST, HOW HAVE YOU OVERCOME AN IMPORTANT OBSTACLE IN YOUR LIFE?

9. DO YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR HEALTH?

10. IS THIS AN OPEN OR A CLOSED QUESTION?

Open vs. Closed

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Desire: “What are some of those driving feelings that motivate you to want to make this change?”

Ability: “What are some skills/strengths or past successes that let you know you can do this?”

Reason: “Why would you want to make this change?” (why you know this is important)

Need: “What some undisputable facts or realities that make it a necessity to change soon?”

Commitment: “So what is one thing you are willing to do?” 

EVOCATIVE OPEN QUESTIONS

THE SEVEN

7 • KICKSTART: What’s on your mind?

• AWE: And what else?

• FOCUS: What’s the real challenge here for you?

• FOUNDATION: What do you want?

• LAZY: How can I help?

• STRATEGIC: If you’re saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?

• LEARNING: What was most useful for you?

We have two ears and only one

tongue in order that we may hear more and speak

less.” ― Diogenes Laertius

Reflective Listening

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 WHO IS THIS PERSON?  Verbalize it – “You…”; “It’s …”

 WHAT DO I FOCUS ON?  What do they feel, want, think, need

 WHAT DO I RESPOND TO?  Not everything. You are selective & strategic

 MOST IMPORTANT SKILL?  Definite maybe?

 WHAT ARE WORDS?  School, work, pain, purpose, DOG

Strategic Reflections

“EVEN THOUGH NOTHING HAS HAPPENED, I’VE BEEN FEELING MORE DEPRESSED LATELY.”

Simple Reflection Repeating an element of what the speaker has said

“You’ve been more depressed lately”

Staying close to what the speaker has said with some synonyms

“You are feeling a little more sad about life than usual.”

Complex Reflection Inferring/guessing at the speaker’s meaning and reflecting it back

“You are struggling right now and want to understand why you keep sliding backwards.”

Emphasizing the emotional dimension through feeling/metaphors

“It’s like a cloud that’s descended on you and taking your energy.”

Strategic Reflections

EMPATHY HOW HE/SHE FEELS

Strategic Reflections

Direction What he/she wants 60

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REFLECT FOR…

EMPATHY &

DIRECTION

NOTICE DISCORD (THE BRAKES)

“WITH LOSING MY JOB AND MY FINANCIAL AID GETTING CUT, I’VE BEEN FEELING MORE DEPRESSED LATELY. I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE DROPPING OUT OF SCHOOL, BUT I NEED HELP SOON OR I WON’T BE ABLE TO EVEN FINISH THE CLASSES I AM IN RIGHT NOW.”

EMPATHY (How he/she feels and/or thinks) “The fact that you are even here is almost impossible to comprehend, and the situation has been way harder on you emotionally than you expected it to be.”

Direction(What he/she wants) Staying in school is a top priority for you, so you are ready to start looking at what we can strategize together to get your expenses met.”

Strategic Reflections

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HOME WORK SUMMARY 1. FROM SLIDE 17: AFTER THIS CLASS REFLECT, REFINE, CONSIDER, ADJUST,

TEST, AND ARRIVE AT YOUR COACHING DEFINITION. THEN EXPLAIN IN A 1PG DOUBLE-SPACED PAPER WHY YOU CHOSE YOUR DEFINITION. WHAT STUCK OUT TO YOU? OF THE MANY WAYS TO DEFINE PERSON-CENTERED COACHING, WHY DID YOU GO WITH YOUR PARTICULAR WORDING?

2. GO COACH SOMEONE! HAVE AT LEAST A 15” PERSON-CENTERED COACHING CONVERSATION. YOU DON’T HAVE TO RECORD IT BUT I WANT YOU TO GET SOME REACTIONS FROM THE PERSON YOU COACHED. FEEL FREE TO HAVE MORE THAN ONE COACHING CONVERSATION. WRITE A 2-PG DOUBLE-SPACED PAPER ON WHAT YOU LEARNED, WHAT DID YOU DO WELL & WHAT WOULD YOU DO DIFFERENTLY. TURN IN BY NOV 9TH. 64

IMPORTANCE SCALE: HOW IMPORTANT IS IT FOR YOU RIGHT NOW TO...? ON A SCALE FROM

0 - 10... WHAT NUMBER WOULD YOU GIVE YOURSELF?

0__________________________________10

CONFIDENCE SCALE: IF YOU DID DECIDE TO CHANGE, HOW CONFIDENT ARE YOU THAT YOU

WOULD SUCCEED? ON A SCALE FROM 0 -10... WHAT NUMBER WOULD YOU GIVE YOURSELF?

0__________________________________10

Importance/Confidence Ruler

IMPORTANCE SCALE:

“AN EIGHT? EXPLAIN TO ME WHY YOU ARE AN EIGHT AND NOT A SEVEN.”

CONFIDENCE SCALE:

“YOU ARE AT A SIX? WHAT WOULD IT TAKE FOR YOU TO MOVE FROM A SIX TO A SEVEN?”

Importance/Confidence Ruler

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SAME DISCUSSION TOPIC AMBIVALENCE

USE THESE OPEN QUESTIONS, AND THEN…

 ACTIVELY LISTEN W/ GENUINE INTEREST TO UNDERSTAND HIS/HER DILEMMA…

 REFLECT CRITICAL ELEMENTS, CHANGE TALK, EMPATHY, DIRECTION

 ASK “ANYTHING ELSE?” “WHAT ELSE?” “TELL ME MORE ABOUT THAT”

SMART GOALS • SPECIFIC (SIMPLE, SENSIBLE, SIGNIFICANT).

• MEASURABLE (MEANINGFUL, MOTIVATING).

• ACHIEVABLE (AGREED, ATTAINABLE).

• RELEVANT (REASONABLE, REALISTIC AND RESOURCED, RESULTS-BASED).

• TIME BOUND (TIME-BASED, TIME LIMITED, TIME/COST LIMITED, TIMELY, TIME-SENSITIVE).

WORST CASE SCENARIO BEST CASE SCENARIO

Querying Extremes

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LOOKING FORWARD

LOOKING BACK

E ELICIT

P PROVIDE E ELICIT