Response to Student Discussion Post

Phase 3: Clarify and Execute the Action Plan

Rapport and Relational Alignment

I would begin preparation for my third meeting with Bruce prior to his arrival. I would remind myself that Bruce is a (D) personality type and therefore “likes to stand out and accomplish more tasks than others do” [1] . I would need to align myself with Bruce’s personality type because according to the Uniquely you DISC assessment my personality type is that of an above the midline, steady specialists (S) [2] . I would therefore prepare myself to be straightforward and encouraging as I enter this session with Bruce. When we last met Bruce was clearly in the willing position because he had a clearly defined problem [3] , which we found was a disconnected and broken relationship with his son Brody [4] . I expect his willingness to remain unchanged as we finish developing and begin to employ an action plan.

Phase Three Distinctive Features

Purpose:

In phase three we will focus on developing a clear and attainable action plan. Bruce and I will work together at creating an action plan that utilizes small incremental steps so that Bruce has clear goals by which to gauge his progress.

Goal:

The goal is to have a clear vision or goal to work towards. I would develop this vision by asking a scaling question to rate his current relationship with Brody. Then follow up with asking where it was before counseling began and where he would like it to be. I would continue with the “play detective” [5] listening technique to have Bruce help me define what that level ten relationship looks like, so that we can formulate the steps to get there.

Chief Aim:

Our aim is to work with Bruce so that he can execute this plan well. We want to bring healing to this relationship between father and son. I want to bring growth within their relationship so that Bruce can fulfill his role as a parent. Clinton and Hawkins explain that “as a parent , it is in your job description to teach your child about life, guiding them in all areas, especially in God’s Word” [6] .

Role/Responsibility:

I will continue to build rapport with Bruce and show him that we will work through this problem together. I will explain to him that I will be here listening to him to guide him and encourage him through this process. I will help him grow as a parent and in his faith by giving him encouragement from Scripture and in wise words like these from Ken Nichols who said “God lovingly puts us in situations that bring us to the limits of our abilities and confidence” [7] . I will need Bruce to be an active participant in helping develop the action plan and in carrying through in his execution of the steps. I cannot do that part for him.

Guiding Assumptions:

I will have Bruce focus intently on two guiding assumptions at this phase. First, I want him to constantly remember that “God is already active in the counselee” [8] and in Brody’s heart. If Bruce is faithful in his efforts, then God will bring healing. The second guiding principle will help with placing blame where it belongs. Kollar reminds us that “the counselee is not the problem, the problem is” [9] . When we face adversity and struggle without achieving the success we want, it is easy to become frustrated and cast blame. This guiding principle will help Bruce refocus in those moments.

Supportive Feedback Break

As I just stated I will start with clear guiding assumptions, but then I will focus on pointing out the success that Bruce has achieved. I will give specific encouragement while citing examples of positive steps that Bruce has made toward his goal. Kollar explains that “compliments reveal the counselor’s desire to encourage positive actions and point out the counselee’s strengths” [10] . Then I would Share this passage of Scripture which says “but we are not those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls (Hebrews 10:39, ESV)” [11] .

Phase Three Marker

As Bruce begins to see small positive changes in his relationship with Brody, I will keep him focused on these small successes that will lead to the revitalized and healthy relationship he is seeking. It is this progress that denotes a readiness for phase four. As Bruce and I talk about theses changes I will encourage him and help set new steps for him to take. Kollar explains that by “praising the counselee for any observed positive action also helps to normalize the problem and reinforce the counselee’s responsibility” [12] . I need to be ready for Bruce to experience resistance and even failure to achieve the progress he is seeking at times. In this case I will remind Bruce that as a (D) personality type he wants to make changes and his strength is his strength. [13] I will remind him of his progress from the scaling question and refocus him on the next step in his action plan. I will remind him of the importance of his effort toward his solution and that I will hold him accountable at each meeting.

The common-sense test and its three tenets will be a good tool to keep Bruce focused on what works and expanding those actions, while leaving behind pursuits that were unfruitful in reaching his goal. [14]

Food for Thought

If blaming presents as a response to a lack of progress, I would first remind Bruce of our guiding purpose which says “the counselee is not the problem; the problem is” [15] . I would also ask Bruce to explain to me who he is blaming and why, so that we can completely address this set back. I would then encourage Bruce with quoting Scripture and listing his achievements thus far. I would then have him refocus on common-sense tenet three which says that “If it’s not working, do something different” [16] . This thought would allow Bruce to shift from wasting energy on blaming and regret, and back to finding a new step towards the goal he is focused on achieving. Then we would pray for God to be active in restoring Bruce and Brody’s relationship as well as helping Bruce stay focused on doing his part with each step of the plan.