Essay

Chapter 2

The Student Fear Factor Rebecca Cox

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I WOULD NOT HAVE expected

Eva to panic during her first composition class. Eva's reports of

her high school preparation for college, her prior experiences

in English classes, and her attitude toward writing in general all

suggested that she would feel optimistic about Comp 1A. Furthermore,

she spoke of her family's strong support for postsecondary

education as well as her own commitment to a career

that requires a college degree (that of schoolteacher). Eva asserted

that although her parents had not put a lot of pressure on

her (or on her younger sister), they did "make sure we know it's

good to come to college." In fact, her parents continually reiterated

the school-career connection: "You're working now, but

you've got to go to school, because you've got to get a career."

Eva's mother served as a role model in- this regard: she had recently

begun a postsecondary degree program to advance her

own career goals. Despite the many reasons for Eva to feel at

least relatively confident about her ability to succeed, she felt a

sense of alarm when she was introduced to the objectives and

structure of her first-semester English class: "That first day, when

the professor said that it's going to be an essay after an essay, I

was scared. I was like, 'Oh, my God, I'm not going to be able to

make it.' ... Just the fact that she said, 'Oh, you get an essay after

an essay after an essay'-that's what scared me."

Eva's case is by no means unique. Regardless of age, ethnicity,

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academic background, educational goals, or the path to college,

students reveal tremendous anxiety about their educational trajectories

and ability to succeed in college. This chapter focuses

on the "total fear factor," as one student aptly described it-a

dimension of the student experience that has emerged in every

study I have conducted, across community colleges in different

regions of the country and with a highly diverse range of students.

The recurrence of this fear factor in such varied contexts

attests to its profound effect in shaping students' college experiences.

Chapter 2 explores the phenomenon, the nature and

source of students' anxiety, and the strategies for managing those

fears that students employ.

STUDENT ANXIETY Regardless of the path that had led each student to college, enrolling

in college courses proved to be an immensely stressful

transition. For recent high school graduates as well as those outside

the "traditional" age range, entering college marked a highrisk

and anxiety-provoking transition in their adult lives.

Students fresh from high school, for instance, indicated that

the transition into college represented a crucial threshold to

adulthood. Melanie, a recent high school graduate and a first semester

college student at Lake Shore Community College in

the Southwest, described her initiation to college as follows:

Here, I've had to really break out of the comfort zone of high school,

and I've had to be very much more independent. In high school, if

you didn't do homework, you were able to copy off a kid, one of

your friends, or you were able to find out information from one of

your friends if you skipped a day or whatever. But here, it's pretty

much, if I skip, it's my fault. If I don't turn it in, it's my fault. And it's all dependent upon me, and it's made me a lot more independent. It's

really pushed me into an area that I don't want to go, but I have to. I

mean, it's not, college isn't so much an academic life, but it's also a

very social and emotional part of who you are, too.

In high school, everyone tells you what to do, they tell you what

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classes to take, they direct you in certain ways, they put you in categories,

and they put you in smart classes or dumb classes. And here

in college, nobody does that for you. You have to figure it out on

your own. I think college makes you a lot more serious.

Early in her first semester, Melanie had indeed taken a serious

approach to college: She had developed both specific long-term

career plans and a detailed strategy for realizing them. She would

complete two years of college coursework at Lake Shore Community

College. At the same time, she would complete some core

requirements through the state university's online program. The

next step consisted of transferring to the university, where she

would earn a B.A. in psychology, then a Ph.D. She knew that an

internship would be required for her to become a psychologist,

and she had estimated the time it would take for her to become a

practicing psychologist. All these steps, she noted, were crucial

if she was not to "waste any time," and she described the effort

she put into developing a logical plan. "I've had to figure out

degree plans, courses at LSCC that can transfer to University,

the online courses at State that can transfer to the university;

and as much as the counselors have helped me-l mean,

they are really good at what they do-but a lot of this is set on

you. And I think that really helps you grow as a person, because

in the real world, nobody helps you besides your family. Nobody's

going to help you. So, yeah, I think I have gotten a little

more serious."

In many ways, Melanie fit the profile of a successful college

student. She had formulated a clear and seemingly realistic educational

plan, she was attending school full-time, she could draw

financial and emotional support from her family while pursuing

her goals, and she evaded the disadvantages that first-generation

college goers face. In addition, she spoke positively about her

academic preparation for college; for example, Melanie noted

how fortunate she had been to attend a high school where "they

didn't pressure us to make great grades, but you were more so-

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cially accepted within the school if you were a smart kid." And

although Melanie had not necessarily earned the highest grades

there-she mentioned "doing a lot better, gradewise" at the community

college than she had during high school-she had enjoyed

the opportunity to take "higher-level" classes, such as Advanced

Placement English Literature. During her final semester

in high school, she had taken one class at the community college,

which made her feel more prepared for her first semester as a

full-time student at the college.

Despite these advantages, Melanie spoke vividly of the fears

she confronted on matriculating. Recalling the anxiety she had

felt on the first day of the fall semester, she told me, "When I

came on my first day here, as I was walking up through that

parking lot-I had to park all the way over there at the other

end, because it was, like, crazy packed here, on the first day. I

remember walking up, thinking, 'I'm all by myself now.' Not literally,

but the decisions that I make from today on, I'm going to

have to make on my own. My family can advise me, but when it

comes down to the nitty-gritty, the decision that I make is going

to be my fault, or it's going to be my achievement. You know

what I mean? And I think that was just a lot."

This realization, Melanie confided, was too much to handle:

"My body just said, 'This is too much stress, this is too much"'so

much that she rushed from the parking lot to the closest

women's room, feeling sick to her stomach.

MELANIE Melanie took four classes her first semester in college: composition, math, psychology, and French. Taking all four at once was challenging,

but she felt that she was a serious student, committed to doing well. Throughout our conversation about her classes, Melanie contrasted her college coursework with her high school experience, and in doing so, consistently highlighted the increased academic pressure of college. For example, she described the fast pace of her French class,

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as compared with the Spanish classes she took in high school: "I never realized how fast college would be-comparing one year of high school with one semester of college. It's really fast pacing. like, I'm taking French right now, and that has really kicked me in the bum. Because in high school, you have two weeks to learn one section. And here it's like one day you learn a section, the next day you learn another section, it's just so fast paced, but I'm doing pretty good .... I think it's just because I've eliminated, like, my close, close friends, and all that kind of stupid high school drama that you go through, because in high school it's not really about academics."

Young adults such as Melanie were not the only ones to view

the first semester of college as scary, unfamiliar, or life-changing.

Individuals well outside the "traditional" college age range also

spoke of the stress of assuming the responsibilities of college.

Colleen, who had dropped out of high school at the age of fifteen,

decided to return to school when her own children reached

school age. At that point, she told herself, "Well, this is the right

time for me, and the right time in my life, and I'm mature enough

to handle it." Still, she admitted, "it was still really scary. Oh, my

God, it was a life-altering change."

Because nearly every student viewed a college degree as essential

to her future, they were all embarking on high-stakes ventures.

Many lacked the kind of "college knowledge" typical of

middle-class students and remained uncertain about how to

approach the degree track and their coursework.1 As a consequence,

even as the vast majority of students were convinced

that their future success hinged on their obtaining a college degree,

they also revealed tremendous anxiety about the educational

and occupational paths they were embarking on. A significant

component of students' stress was directly linked to their

doubts about succeeding in college and realizing their career

goals/

For some students, this fear-a natural part of any life tran-

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sition-was heightened by their past experiences with failure

in academic contexts. The frequent mentions of failure in student

interviews included tales of having made bad decisions, performed

poorly at various levels of elementary and secondary

school, failed at specific assignments in high school courses, and

failed or dropped classes at the postsecondary level. In addition,

many students had fallen down on one or more of the entry-level

assessments, whether in reading, writing, or math. In the case of

math, the majority of the students I met had failed the test and

had been required to enroll in at least one remedial math class

before taking courses to fulfill · the college math requirement.

Thus, for many students, past failure provided objective evidence

of their academic inadequacy.

Even students who did not explicitly discuss past failures revealed

an underlying lack of confidence, and gnawing doubts

about their capacity to succeed in college. For many, their very

presence at a community college-the least selective and lowest

tier of colleges-offered proof of their minimal academic competence.

In other words, whereas admission to a selective college-

or even one that is less selective-offers some indication

that a student has th~ capacity to succeed at that school, even

this tenuous assurance is not available to students who enter a

college with an open-admissions policy.

THE FEAR FACTOR By enrolling in college courses, committing to a degree plan, and

envisioning long-term objectives that depended on success at the

community college, each student had stepped into the role of

college student. The many students who seriously doubted their

ability to succeed, however, were anxiously waiting for their

shortcomings to be exposed, at which point they would be

stopped from pursuing their goals. Fragile and fearful, these students

expressed their concern in several ways: in reference to

college professors, particular courses or subject matter, and the

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entire notion of college itself-whether at the two- or the fouryear

level. At the core of different expressions of fear, however,

were the same feelings of dread and the apprehension that success

in college would prove to be an unrealizable dream.3

Students admitted to feeling intimidated by professors' academic

knowledge and by teachers' power to assess students and

assign grades. Essentially, students were afraid that the professor

would irrevocably confirm their academic inadequacy. When

students described their stereotypical image of the university

professor, a coherent picture emerged. Associating this ideal professor

type with prestigious universities, students portrayed professors

as "looking down on" students. One student, for example,

spoke of his preconceived image of college professors as "all

high and mighty," and Colleen spoke of the "pompous-ass professor"

type. She associated this type with the elite universities,

noting, "When you think of Yale, you're thinking pompous-ass

professors."

From Colleen's perspective, her philosophy instructor tended

"to act like he's teaching at Yale or something." During her interview

with me, she addressed him in absentia, with this request:

"Come down to our level a little bit. I know you have a lot of

stuff to teach us, but don't be so high on that pedestal that we

can't reach you." Her belief in the philosophy professor's clear

superiority shaped Colleen's approach to the course. She explained,

It got to where I did not feel comfortable approaching him about

anything, because I felt like he was this so-smart guy that I'm going

to look really stupid in his eyes if I ask him any questions at all. And

so I don't feel comfortable asking him anything. I just go to class,

and I sit in the back of the classroom now, whereas I started at the

front of the classroom. I sit in the back, behind whoever else I can

find, so he doesn't even have to look at me. So I'm just kind of hiding

in the back, thinking, "Yes, I'm going to pass this class, somehow."

Colleen's philosophy teacher was not at all typical. Except for

Colleen, when students alluded to the "so-smart" or "high and

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mighty professors," they noted that their community college professors

did not fall into that category. Melanie, for instance, insisted

that her community college instructors did not match her

preconceptions about college professors. "When I was a high

school student, I very much got the idea that college was very

anonymous, that all you were, really, was a name on a page. You

know, you really weren't a person." The difference between the

stereotypical professor and students' actual professors did not

mean, however, that students were unafraid of or unintimidated

by their community college instructors.

Both Serena and Ryan provided examples of professors who

were not "all high and mighty," but rather "kind of friendly."

Yet their interactions with these professors still reflected an intimidating

distance between professor and student. In describing

his history professor, for instance, Ryan noted, "There's kind of

something about him that, I don't know, makes me kind of hesitant

to say something to him. He's kind of friendly, but it's just, I

don't really know, something about him is just ... " (his voice

trailed off). Serena offered a similar description of her hesitancy

about meeting professors during their office hours. "Like, some

professors will be like, 'Oh, I'll be in my office,' but you're real

hesitant to go to them, because of the way they are."

In fact, Colleen's avoidance strategy in her philosophy course

represented a frequent student behavior. In this case, her approach

was particularly interesting because she had demonstrated

a high level of assertiveness in other situations-both on

her own behalf and for other students. She had confronted the

tutors at the writing center, for example, and had advised several

younger students in her classes to consult with their instructors

when problems arose. That Colleen would resort to hiding from

her philosophy teacher suggests that other younger or less assertive

students would be even more likely to react that way to

stressful classroom encounters.

A wide range of courses, subject matter, and assignments

caused students to worry. Math and composition, however,

evoked by far the greatest anxiety for the vast majority of stu-

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dents. Students' fear of the composition course was particularly

intense.4 As the portal to more exclusive classes, composition

plays a crucial role in selection of students. Those who successfully

complete the course are judged proficient in the general

writing skills deemed necessary for further academic study. Thus,

the outcome for each student in composition holds important

consequences for his or her educational trajectory and ability to

succeed as a college student. Not by coincidence, among community

college offerings this high-stakes course has some of the

highest dropout rates-second only to those in math courses.

Kyra, who put off taking the course until her very last semester,

noted, "I just had a fear of English, like this total fear factor."

Likewise, Linda, who enrolled in and then dropped the course

multiple times before finally completing it, explained, "The only

reason why I waited is because I hate writing. I was always afraid

of it-1 think I've always had that problem."

Students' explanations for their anxiety often highlighted

inadequate instruction in the past. "Oh, high school teachers

[sigh]. I wrote two papers, I think, and that was it. And we never

had to edit or anything. Yeah, I knew I was going to have a very

hard time" (Suzanne).

Significantly, however, students who feared composition class

did not necessarily perceive their high school preparation as inadequate.

Anxiety and low self-confidence also plagued students

who spoke favorably of their former English teachers or commented

on the rigor of their high school English curriculum.5

This was certainly true for Eva, the student we met at the beginning

of this chapter whose first day of class caused her to

think, "I'm not going to make it." Jenn-another student who

had earned As in her high school English classes-offered a more

vivid description of her first day of college, at which point she,

too, questioned whether she could handle the work required in

composition. "I just saw all the work, and my heart was beating,

and I'm just thinking, 'This is not real. There's no way college

can be this hard.' It was just like they were throwing information at you, and just expecting you to be okay with it."

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Although male students were much less likely than female

students to offer unsolicited accounts of feeling anxious or unprepared,

they too admitted that particular courses had generated

nervousness. Diego, for example, expressed a sense of

amazement at his success in composition class, particularly in

light of his dislike of writing. As he explained, "I like reading,

but I don't like writing. So I was surprised at my accomplishments

in this class." Becky: So it kind of sounds like you were very nervous about how

well you would do.

Diego: Yes, yes, yes. I did come in like that. This is my worst, myactually,

I'm passing this class-but this was the one I was most

afraid of.

Similarly, Carlos was worried about submitting essays in composition

class "because of the fear and because I didn't know exactly

what [the teacher] wanted."

Looking back, Carlos explained how his fears had initially

paralyzed him, making his coursework more difficult: "It was like I thought I wouldn't make it, like I wasn't going to be able to

make it. And I made it hard and it wasn't that hard." When I

asked how he made his coursework harder, he elaborated, "It was the negative touch. It wasn't that I couldn't make it or I didn't do this right or I did this wrong. It was just that I was afraid .... Maybe it was the fear of college, too .... I think that's

one of the things that makes a lot of people fail."

When asked, near the end of the semester, about their experiences

at the start of the semester, some students admitted nonchalantly

that they had anticipated that their courses would be

more difficult. Claudia for instance commented, "I just expected

more work. Like I'd never have time for anything else." Such

students did not explicitly mention any anxiety around their

original expectations, but it is possible that they, too, had experienced

some nervousness at the start of their community college

experience.

Students who expressed confidence in their ability to succeed

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at the community college level were not necessarily as certain

about the four-year level. Several students noted that taking

classes at the community college had made them change their

minds about transferring to a four-year college. Taking courses

had convinced Nereida, for example, that she wasn't really "college

material." She planned to continue at the two-year college

but had decided not to transfer. Similarly, Susan did not want to

transfer to the nearby university, she explained, " 'cause I don't

think I can hang." In reference to his own plan to transfer to a

four-year college in California, Sebastian mused: "I just wonder

how I would do at a four-year college, like at a Cal State or a

UC. I'm sure things are turned up a notch over there."

His experience at Hillcrest Community College (HCC) had

led Sebastian to conclude that you can "use HCC to mold your

education; then, if you're really serious, you can go on to a fouryear

college." Describing himself as not yet motivated "all the

way," Sebastian contended that once he reached that point, he

would "probably really cut back on work and just focus on

school and try to give a good push for a year or two, get something

accomplished." His fear revolved around the four-year experience

in store for him once he did get really serious. "I'm just

hoping that these classes that I'm taking aren't these totally,

like-I don't know the word-more like a waste of time; like doing

all this easy stuff, when really I'm not aware of all the higher

classes that I should be trying to take and get into." Nikki also

confessed to her past and present fears of college. While discussing

her transfer goals, she concluded: "So, we shall see. It's

scary-very scary .... I'm so unsure of what to expect at the next

level. It was scary to come here-1 wasn't sure what to expect,

but it was okay. It turned out okay, I guess."

SEBASTIAN This was Sebastian's second semester at the college, and he was taking three classes while working part-time at a video store. The previ-

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ous semester, he had worked full-time and started with four courses, but he found that he "started to fall behind." Since he had changed his work schedule, Sebastian wasn't particularly worried about his courses. "Like English: so far it's good, it's pretty easy, not really bad at all, compared to high school-1 hated English." In part he attributed it to his own maturity as a student: "Now that I'm in college, I'm a little more mature and ... I can get something out of it now." Sebastian hadn't yet enrolled in any college-level classes, however; that semester, he was taking three basic skills classes, one for math, one for reading, and one for writing. In all the classes, but especially the English courses, he felt confident about his ability to do well. "Heel prepared; I feel comfortable doing all the work. It's all easy for

me." Sebastian's anxiety was reserved for the future courses; he admitted, "But, um, I'm going to see how English lA goes, because that's like freshman English."

FEAR MANAGEMENT

Fear of failing as college students drove some to employ preventive

strategies. Choosing such actions (or inaction), however,

could easily divert students from accomplishing their original

goals. This risk was what puzzled me about students like Eva.

When I interviewed her, she and her classmates in Composition

lA were nearly all assured of passing the course. Yet even she, a

competent and conscientious student who "always knew [she]

would attend college," had considered quitting on day one of the

course. Nor was she the only one to respond in that way. Jenn's

anxieties on her first day almost led her to drop out of college

altogether. Jenn prefaced her account by saying, "I really wasn't

ready to come, at all. I wasn't ready for it altogether, just wasn't

ready for another year of school. I was in a new town, at a new

school. And I just didn't know what to expect.'~

The first day of school was a Tuesday, a day when all her

courses were scheduled to meet. Before going to the first class of

the day, Jenn spoke to her mother.

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I called her up, and I said, "I'm on my way to school." She says,

"Okay, I'll talk to you later on," and I said "okay." I went to my first

class, had like a four-and-a-half-hour break, and then went to my

other three, went home, and I thought, "I quit."

Then I called my mom up, and I tell her, "I quit. Yeah, I quit here."

She asks, "How do you plan on living?" and I say, "I don't know. I

don't know how I plan on living. I don't care." She says, "Jenn, it

can't be that bad," and I say, "You want to hear what the hell I have

to do?" And I went syllabus by syllabus, day by day. And she was

just like, "Well, just take it one day at a time. Don't get overwhelmed."

And I'm just thinking, "Don't get overwhelmed? It's a little late for

that!"

So I sat there and bawled with Mama for three hours. Then I

talked to my sister, and my sister tells me, "I'll help you out." So

eventually, after like four hours of talking with my mom, and an

hour and a half talking with my sister, they convinced me that I could

do this, that I've been through tougher stuff than this, and that it'd

be no big deal.

Clearly, quitting is the ultimate fear management strategy, because

it offers a means of eliminating the source of anxiety; however,

students did not necessarily opt out of school altogether.

Other strategies offered students ways of continuing their studies,

while warding off the worst forms of personal failure.

JENN Although Jenn had received all As in high school, she described herself as "absolutely not" prepared for college. When I asked her to explain, she told me that her older sister, who had taken Advanced Placement (AP) courses in high school, had reported being totally unprepared for college. In fact, her sister was constantly challenging Jenn, telling her, "'You need to take harder classes-these are just simple classes."' Her sister also told Jenn, '"You're making all As. There is a problem here.' And she's like, 'You don't study. You barely do your homework.' She said, 'You know, you wait until the last minute to do your homework.' And she's like, 'I just don't see how you're making all As, when you're really not doing anything.'" Jenn was so ner-

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vous about college that for the entire summer after high school graduation she tried to avoid thinking about registering for classes at the community college she planned to attend. If her mother hadn't been "getting on her" about it, she might not have followed through. Describing how the pressure affected her, Jenn provided an example from the summer: "So my mom was just on me. 'We need to get your scheduling done, dah, dah, dah,' and it was like, 'I'm overwhelmed. Don't bother me, don't talk to me.' I didn't talk to her for like three weeks."

One such strategy consisted of scaling back. Several students

had been admitted to nearby four-year colleges, but had chosen

instead to start their college careers in a less stressful environment.

Adriana told me, that she had made a good decision, stating,

"I think it's a good way to start because I'm afraid if I would

have gone straight to [Research University], I would have been

stressed out, because it would have been such a bigger thing."

Similarly, Ashley told me, "I'm just kind of getting my feet wet

in the whole college experience thing. I'm new to the city, so I'm

new to the area and everything, and I got accepted to Western

State, but I got-I don't want to say I got scared, but I just

wanted to save my own money, not be a burden on my parents.

So I'm doing that and going to school here, and it is [pause]-it's

smaller classes, and you get to [pause]-it's better. I'm gradually

getting up there. And then I'll go, I'm going to go to Western

State probably next fall, or the fall after-I'm not sure." When I

asked her if she could break it down and assign percentages to

her different reasons, Ashley came up with an estimate of 20 percent

for saving money. "I really don't want to be a burden, and

I'm probably going to get like financial aid and stuff. But, yeah,

it's not that big .... I don't know, maybe like 20 percent." As far

as the time to "gradually get up there" and be ready for the four-

year college, "probably over 50 percent. Yeah, that's probably

the biggest reason, is just really wanting to be ready."

For Ashley, the underlying fear involved being exposed-in

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front of the teacher and her peers-as too stupid for college

classes. "I don't want to be the stupid kid in class, where everyone

else is raising their hand, and I'm the only one not. And I

know it's not going to be like that, but it's one of my biggest

fears."

In both instances, highly capable students with excellent records

of performance in high school took themselves out of high-

risk situations by scaling down and starting at LSCC.

Students with more marginal academic backgrounds were

similarly driven by their fears to scale back their educational

goals. Nereida and Susan were taking themselves off the baccalaureate

track. Others spoke of newly formulated career plans,

born of a desire to do "less school." Examples of students who

spoke of such scaled-back plans included Suzanne, who was

considering cosmetology, and Mariella, who spoke of earning a

certificate instead of an associate's degree. For still others, scaling

back would result in their withdrawing from school altogether.

A second fear management strategy was to redefine success

and failure. Some students, who described the advantages that

sprang from specific experiences of failure, exhibited remarkable

resilience in the face of disappointments and derailed plans.

This ability to reframe disappointments and failures as fortuitous

twists of fate was expressed most eloquently by a Latino

student named Carlos. Midway through his first semester of

college, Carlos's composition instructor, Michelle, recommended

that he withdraw from the course, to avoid receiving an F.6 When

I asked Carlos how disappointed he was that he would have to

repeat the course, he responded with the phrase "No hay mal

que por bien no venga" (There is no bad thing that can't turn out

for the good) and explained, "It's okay, because now I'm going

to focus more on the other classes. And right now, music is really

hard stuff right now, so I'm going to focus on music and my

other classes. It won't affect me on my financial aid because I

had fifteen hours, so now I have twelve."

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Other students seemed to be formulating protective rationalizations

for imminent failure. For instance, near the end of the

semester, Yolanda disclosed that she had many outstanding composition

assignments. She had attended every class session, and

noted that she had learned a lot of grammar (especially pronouns)

by taking the class. In the same conversation, she offered

a range of definitions of success in Camp lA: Success for one person can be, "I've actually conquered it by making

the A I wanted to make." "I went to all the classes," can be a success.

"I flunked the classes, but yet I understand what a pronoun is," can

be a success ....

And so you win some, you lose some. I may lose three hundred

dollars and flunk in this class, but when I take the class again, I guarantee

you that I'll come back with a little bit more fire under me and

say, "Okay, I know what you want done. So I know what I need, and I'm going to get it done."

With this revised definition of success, Yolanda could finish

the semester without completing the assignments and therefore

fail the course, yet still retain a sense of efficacy that would enable

her to return to LSCC the following semester to retake

Camp lA. In fact, Yolanda did not pass Comp lA that semester.

During the interview, she had expressed confidence that she was

able to do the required coursework, and yet, two-thirds of the

way through the semester, she had not yet submitted any of the

essay assignments to her instructor. Yolanda was not unique in

this regard. Across six sections of composition at LSCC, I observed

students who attended class through the end of the semester,

completed the assigned readings, and participated in the

in-class activities-yet failed to submit written work for their

instructors to grade. Still other students had disappeared altogether,

silently withdrawing from the course and joining the 40

percent who did not complete Camp lA.

A third fear management strategy consisted simply of avoiding

any formal assessment. Every assessment-related activity

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posed the risk of exposing to others (both professors and peers)

what students already suspected: their overall unfitness for college.

Thus, not participating in classroom discussions, avoiding

conversations with the professor-whether inside or outside the

classroom-or choosing not to attend class sessions offered feardriven

students another reprieve from exposure. Students have

admitted that silence during class-whether in whole-group or

small-group configurations-results from anxiety, not from laziness

or lack of caring. Some students deal with test-taking anxiety

by avoiding particular tests; others end up taking the test,

only to stop attending class before they find out the results. The

greatest risk, of course, lies in graded assessments of student performance.

In the absence of evidence from assessments, students

can still cling-however tenuously-to their identity as college

students.

Jenn, who had reported feeling overwhelmed on day one by

the coursework outlined on various syllabi, decided not to quit

immediately, but she came to that decision only after hours of

discussion with her family. When I asked Jenn how often, after

that first day at LSCC, she reconsidered dropping out, she replied,

"I would think that, probably, with every first test that

there was." In other words, the prospect of submitting the first

graded assignment for each course was the most terrifying part

of the semester. Barbara told about her first English class, during

which the instructor administered an in-class writing assignment.

With a sense of hopelessness, Barbara attempted to draft

some sort of response; and at the end of the class, Barbara recalled,

"I walked up to [the professor's] desk. I handed her my

paper and I said, 'I don't know what you want written down. I

have no idea what an essay is.' ... She looked at me and I told

her, 'I'm not coming back."' This particular example highlights

the irony of such avoidance strategies, that students' efforts to

manage their fear of failure can easily lead to failure.

Elisa's experience with the research paper assignment illustrates

the extent to which her fear of failure drove her to the

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brink of actual failure. On the day the research paper was due in

Julie's class, I had a conversation with Elisa and Charmaine, neither

of whom was ready to submit a draft of the assignment.

Whereas Charmaine expressed confidence that she would submit

one soon, Elisa spoke of her loathing for the research paper

assignment. In fact, she told us, she had withdrawn from Comp

lA during the spring semester after getting stuck on this very assignment.

At this point in the fall course, with Julie as her instructor,

Elisa had chosen a topic (the influence of media images

on women) and begun brainstorming about possible theses;

however, she voiced concern about finding more sources and

demonstrated hesitance regarding the appropriateness of the

topic for the research paper assignment. When I asked whether

she had talked to her instructor, Julie, about those concerns, she

replied, "But I feel so bad-l'm so far behind and I don't want

her to know.'' Instead, Elisa thought that she would probably

withdraw from the course and try again next semester.

Upon urging from Charmaine and me, Elisa did meet with

Julie to discuss the research paper. Julie later reported to me that

Elisa had successfully completed the assignment. "Her research

paper she finally submitted to me was A work. I mean, I chuckled.

I wrote a comment back to her: 'LOL-I'm laughing out

loud because your paper is awesome, and 'you were worried sick

about submitting this paper to me, and this is your best paper.'"

When it came to learning, Elisa's strategy of avoidance was

clearly counterproductive. Such an approach to the assignment

made sense only in light of her conviction that she was not

a competent college student. From this perspective, errorwhether

past or potential, real or imagined-plays a destructive

role, by chipping away at each student's self-conception as a

competent college student. Not surprisingly, students exhibited

very low tolerance for feeling confused or making mistakes, phenomena

they could easily attribute to their own inadequacy

rather than to the process of learning new skills or information.7

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This was certainly true of Natalie, a second-semester student

at a California college. During her interview, Natalie assessed

herself as entirely "unready" for college, attributing it to a personal

character flaw-a form of fear-induced lack of effort. I'm scared of hard stuff. I'm intimidated by hard stuff, so that's probably

holding me back. I need more courage .... I'm a scaredy-cat; I

say, "That class is too hard," instead of trying it out and applying

myself. That's what's wrong with me.

I turned in my first paper and I got an X. I mean, you're supposed

to get like, a B over X, or a C over X, so that you can have a chance

to fix what you made a mistake in and then get that C. And I didn't

get anything over that X-I just got an X .... See, that's why I don't

turn anything in .... That's why I don't like turning anything in, because

every time I do, I get a bad grade.

Natalie had carefully examined the syllabus for some clue

about the mysterious X she'd received but still did not understand

what it meant. Her friend, also in the class, chimed in,

"That just means you got to rewrite the whole thing." Natalie

disagreed, however. According to the written policies, "He said

no rewriting. He said, Don't rewrite the papers, just correct

them."

It is difficult to understand why Natalie did not complete any

assignments after her initial X grades. Not only did she demonstrate

familiarity with the syllabus and various course documents,

in noting the correct instructions for students who receive

an "over X" grade, but her understanding of the regulations also

reflected careful reading of these relatively complicated texts. Yet

her confusion about the X stymied her, instead of propelling her

to investigate further. She continued to attend class, she participated

in the small-group exercises, and she prepared for in-class

quizzes. She did nothing about the incomplete essay, however.

Nor did she submit any other essays. Instead, she avoided the

problem. While her instructor waited fruitlessly for Natalie to

seek his help, he assumed that she did not care about the course.

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In the end, both teacher and student interpreted her performance

as the result of individual deficits.

IMPLICATIONS FOR STUDENT SUCCESS Using the example of his first math test of the semester, Carlos

discussed his realization that the best plan was to work through

the fear. On the day of the math test, he related, "I got panicked.

And then I thought, 'Well, I'm going to try it,' and then I started

writing and it was okay. That was it. I just got two problems

wrong. And actually I got the first- or the second-highest grade

in the class."

Carlos thus pinpointed the conundrum facing fearful students:

fear drives them to the point of quitting, yet making the

effort in the face of that fear may provide the evidence that they

can succeed.

Of huge significance regarding this phenomenon is the fact

that I generally interviewed students at the end of the semester.

By that point, many others had already quietly disappeared from

the class. A few of the students who attended the last few weeks

of class might have ended up failing the course, but for the most

part, I interviewed the most successful students. At the same

time, I do not believe that I would have gained the same insights

about student fear had I interviewed students who did not persist.

Nor do I believe that the students I interviewed at the end of

the semester would have admitted their prior fears had they not

believed that they were going to complete their courses successfully.

In other words, students who acknowledged their fears

did so in the past tense; they had felt that way at the start of the

semester but had progressed over the course of it toward feeling

less afraid and more confident. I suspect that had they still

harbored those shameful feelings of inadequacy, the instinct to

avoid being evaluated would have prevented them from admitting

their fears, perhaps even to themselves.

The depth of fear among the most successful and resilient stu-

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dents-students who had persisted in their courses until the end

of the semester-suggests that at least some students who had

withdrawn from the course or failed to complete the graded

coursework were pushed over the brink by their fears, into failure.

For individuals who started the semester feeling unequal to

"college student" demands, it was easy to perceive every dimension

of college and college coursework as overly confusing and

too difficult. Such students avoided the forms of active engagement

that would have improved their chances of succeeding,

while simultaneously diverting instructors' attention from the

core reason for their counterproductive behavior. In other words,

such defenses against fear seriously undermined their chances of

passing the course. In light of the large number of students who

fail or withdraw from Comp lA at community colleges, it is very

likely that many employed the counterproductive strategies described

by the students I have spoken with. Students like Jenn

and Eva felt like quitting at the start of the semester, but other

students actually did so at various points throughout the semester.

With a few exceptions, the composition students I interviewed

had mustered enough courage to submit written work throughout

the semester and ultimately completed the course successfully.

Judged by the end-of-semester outcomes, the depth of fear

that the interview respondents had experienced at the start of

the semester was unwarranted. Once students overcame the biggest

obstacle-once they submitted the most fear-inducing assignment-

their performance far exceeded their initial pessimistic

predictions. They had been able to overcome their fears

without resorting to passive strategies of disengagement or dropping

out.

For those who did pass the course, one of the most important

lessons was that when they submitted the writing assignments,

their deepest fears were disproved. For Kyra, who spoke to me

of her "total fear factor" in Comp lA, doing well in the class

provided evidence of her writing competence. As she put it, "So

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that kind of in itself indicates that I'm not as bad as I thought I

was. And my fear is maybe just in my head, rather than actual

fact." Similarly, Linda concluded at the end of the semester, "I

hated writing, but now I feel that I know that I can. I feel better

now. I'm not afraid like I was before."

Similarly, Jenn, who had left the first class session ready to

quit school, described how her attitude changed after she had

submitted the first graded assignment. "But once I got my first

paper accepted for English, I was so excited. It made me want to

go and write some more. Yeah, it made me want to go and write

some more, and after my second paper, my mom just told me,

'I don't think anybody's given you the chance to write. I don't

think anybody's given you what you needed, to learn."'

Individuals who are familiar with what is required and who are

relatively confident from the start of their success as college students

are most likely to achieve success. Conversely, those who

are least conversant with the norms of higher education are at a

distinct disadvantage; they are more likely to feel like outsiders

and to doubt their ability to fit in. Indeed, for fearful students,

every interaction in the classroom and with their professors outside

class holds the potential to confirm their feelings of inadequacy.

Yet the same strategies that relieve their fear can prove

counterproductive for completing college coursework. In particular,

avoiding assessment precludes the chance of proving their

academic merit. Thus the fear of failure-rather than actual failure

or evidence of unsuitability-prevents full commitment and

engagement. How such fears and counterproductive strategies

might be countered is therefore an important consideration in

promoting student success. How individual professors have addressed

the issue-indeed, that professors need to address the issue-

lies at the heart of Chapter 6.

Cox, Rebecca. “The Student Fear Factor.” The College Fear Factor: How Students and

Professors Misunderstand One Another. Harvard University Press, 2011. Pp. 20-41.