Argument Essay

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Student’s Name

Instructor’s Name

Course

Date

The Tech Effect

Smartphones, tablets, and laptops have been increasing all around society. In the twenty

first century, one is either on the phone talking, searching through their laptop for information or

on the Ipad playing games. With every year advancing, technology continues to advance with us

further into the digital age. Some may think that technology is harming society, making the

community be ‘wired in’ all the time, leaving us stranded and lost in the real world. However,

these critics fail to see the positive value of technology in daily life. Critics need to focus on the

positive aspects of technology and how it has benefited society immensely through medicine,

education, and social interactions.

In the medical field, the advancement of technology has found new ways to benefit

doctors and patients alike whether it’s discovering a new disease or finding a cure to help the

sick. A way technology has helped society medically is through improving the study of

population science, which Drew Hendricks defines as “the study of health and illness between

groups” (1). Hendricks continues to state that because of technology, physicians can get a bigger

picture of these studies, examining illnesses and death rates and are able to cure a whole

population instead of a small group. With the aid of technology, more lives can be saved than

ever before. Joseph Bubalo continues to support technology with an analysis of the benefits of

technology in medicine, praising the creation of the electronic medical record. The electronic

medical record is a record that contains all the information of a patient’s illnesses, treatments,

Commented [11]: The author mentions critics of her argument, thus proving the essay is argumentative (if these critics can disagree, then the argument is necessary). Mentioning critics can make the argument more relevant to readers.

Commented [12]: The thesis clearly mentions the argument.

Commented [13]: The main points (medicine, education, and social interaction) are clear. By mentioning the points to be discussed, the essay prepares readers for the exact arguments in the essay. For instance, readers know the essay will discuss medicine but will not discuss forensic science (thus, the thesis prepares readers for the arguments and limits the scope of those arguments). The essay follows the order of the points listed in the thesis.

Commented [14]: The topic sentence tells readers what the paragraph will discuss.

Commented [15]: The writer integrates quotes from outside sources seamlessly into her essay.

Commented [16]: The writer paraphrases sources more often than she quotes.

Commented [17]: The writer transitions to another piece of evidence, this time from another source.

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and other health related subjects. With the electronic medical record, doctors are able to quickly

access a patient’s data which can be sent to other medical organizations easily to gain

information of that patient (5). In Joseph Bubalo’s experiment, the results show that the EMR

reduced medical errors and thus helped improve a patient’s care (14). Because of the reduced

medical errors and having better patient care, there have been reduced percentages of death rates

and negligent care.

Believe it or not, another way technology has helped the community is through

education. While some people may think that technology is a distraction for students, making

them lose focus on their schoolwork, it has become a helpful aid in the classroom. In The Nature

of Technology: What It Is and How It Evolves, Brian Arthur defines technology as “a branch of

knowledge, or the application of science, or a study of techniques, or a practice, or even an

activity” (27). With technology, as a source of knowledge, students should be encouraged to use

that source as a guide to help them gain information. Timothy Huneycutt discusses how the

advancement in technology benefits children academically with the computer helping children to

access information within seconds, helping to save time and help students focus (1). The

computer also gives students video tutorials, and interactive activities that will help them in

school, which gives them way to work at their own pace and not feel rushed when falling behind.

Although technology focuses more on the student benefit, it also benefits teachers as well. With

devices in the classroom, teachers are able to reach students outside of school if they need help

with a certain problem or a question on a project or paper. Teachers can use the internet to post

homework and notes online so students can easily access them if they’ve been out sick. Simon

Hay discusses a helpful method that has been appearing in schools like the Teacher Planner app,

where teachers are able to check attendance, seating charts, and homework that students have

Commented [18]: Again, the writer includes critics to show that she acknowledges that others might disagree with her (and thus develops ethos, or credibility) and to refute the opposing arguments.

Commented [19]: All quotes are integrated into the writer’s sentences and cited correctly in MLA format.

Commented [110]: The writer defines technology with a quote but does not show the significance of the quote. The reader might get a bit lost here because he or she is not shown how to understand this information.

Commented [111]: The essay has several proofreading errors in these sentences.

Commented [112]: The writer nicely wraps up the previous idea and transitions to a new idea.

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turned in (1). With the use of technology, students and teachers will be able to distinguish which

method is the best way to facilitate learning and help kids use technology in the future.

In the business world, it comes as no surprise that workers use technology; whether it is

using the phone to call a corporation or using the computer to reach other employees. A business

is stable with the technology for that is the means to communication. Karehka Pamey, the author

of “The Advantages and Disadvantages of Technology in the Workplace” agrees with this claim

stating that because of technology, employees can do group conferences from all around the

world, making it easier to share ideas and projects with each other and help promote business

online (1). Technology can help businesses by increasing more production and communicating

with customers on a different level. Michelle Weiss continues with this claim by stating that

computers enhance a worker’s mobility, with a worker being able to access their work, whether

it be at home or the office (7). Technology does not seem harmful to the business world, but

rather serves as a help to improve business images by helping a company gain more employees

through their computer network thus enhancing work efficiency and filtering of eligible

employees.

Technology has contributed in a variety of ways to society, but many remain skeptical if

technology is all good; especially when focusing on social media. Social media is any website

that allows someone to interact socially with other people such as, Facebook and Twitter.

Although these sites help users talk and stay in touch with family and friends around the world,

some believe that users overuse these sites to the point that the prolonged exposure harms them

emotionally and makes them become addicted. One of the most common topics that appears

when talking about social media is that people become isolated from the outside and rely more

on talking on their device that they forget how to communicate properly face to face. Mack

Commented [113]: A transition would be very helpful here.

Commented [114]: The writer makes very strong claims here.

Commented [115]: This paragraph mentions opposing arguments and refutes them.

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LeMouse refutes this argument in his article “Why the Positive Effects of Internet Use Outweigh

the Bad” stating that people tend to forget that real life people are on the other side of the screen

(1). Though it’s not face to face, people are still talking to someone directly through text

messages and IM’s. Sometimes one cannot always communicate directly with someone if they

live miles away or are in a different country. With social media, it makes it easier for people to

maintain friendships and relationships. Andrea Nakaya furthers this positive claim that social

networking is a way for people to share their thoughts and ideas with many family and friends,

and that social media encourages one to be more social. Posting ideas and thoughts can trigger

conversation among friends that share the same ideas, or helps them to be more open minded to

those who have different ideas.

Another topic that often arises in criticism of social media, is that it affects society

negatively because of cyber bullying. Cyber bullying is what is most discussed these days.

Defined, cyber bullying occurs when people send hurtful messages through social media sites,

giving them different way to bully someone. Cyber bullying is the same as regular bullying,

except that the person isn’t saying, the hurtful words in person, but this is just as bad as people

can still feel be mistreated. Just like bullying, cyber bullying can be put to an end, with social

media having an option to block people online to the point that they can’t send a message or post

anything on one’s page. While social media can be misused with wrong behavior, it is also a

place where people can get support from their friends. Users can join support groups to help with

their struggles or find information online that can help them with any problems.

Technology has been around for ages, helping society advance to the place that it is now,

helping academically, medically, and through business. The advancement of technology can

scare some people who realize how big of an impact it is in one’s life. Instead of shunning

Commented [116]: The writer brings in research to support her rebuttal of opposing arguments.

Commented [117]: The writer does a nice job of using her own reasoning to make claims. Not all arguments should come from outside sources. Many of them can come from our own ideas about a topic.

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technology completely, embrace the future and witness the capabilities technology can do for

people and the world.

Commented [118]: The conclusion, though a bit short, does a nice job of summarizing the main points and leaving the reader with a positive idea about the argument.

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Works Cited

Arthur, W B. The Nature of Technology: What It Is and How It Evolves. New York: Free Press,

2009. Print.

Bubalo, Joseph, et al. "Does Applying Technology Throughout The Medication Use Process

Improve Patient Safety With Antineoplastics?." Journal Of Oncology Pharmacy

Practice 20.6 (2014): 445-460. Academic Search Complete. Web. 5 Apr. 2015.

Hay, Simon. "Invisible Technology: Visible Benefits in the Classroom." The Telegraph.

Telegraph Media Group, 13 Dec. 2013. Web. 31 Mar. 2015.

Hendricks, Drew. "How Technology Is Changing the Medical and Health Care Field." The

Huffington Post. TheHuffingtonPost.com, 15 May 2013. Web. 30 Mar. 2015.

Huneycutt, Timothy. “Technology In the Clasroom: The Benefits of Blended Learning.”

National Math + Science Initiative. National Math + Science Initiative, 8 Oct. 2013.

Web. 29 Mar. 2015.

LeMouse, Mack. "Why the Positive Effects of Internet Use Outweigh the Bad." Why the

Positive Effects of Internet Use Outweigh the Bad. Health Guidance, n.d. Web. 01 Apr.

2015.

Nakaya, Andrea C. Thinking Critically: Social Networking. San Diego, CA: ReferencePoint,

2014. Print.

Ramey, Karehka. "The Advantages and Disadvantages of Technology in the Workplace." Use of

Technology. N.p., 25 Feb. 2013. Web. 05 Apr. 2015.

Weiss, Michelle. "Pros and Cons of Technology in the Business World." Pros and Cons of

Technology in the Business World (n.d.): n. pag. http://www.svsu.edu/. Saginaw Valley

State University, 25 Dec. 2009. Web. 5 Apr. 2015.

Commented [119]: The works cited page is formatted correctly. The font is the same as the font in the essay, the title is centered and in regular font, and the entries are formatted with a hanging indent. The writer has clearly looked up the citation format for each item in the list and has taken the time to write them correctly.