discussion 5

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In Step 4, Be concise, we looked at the bad habit of using long phrases where short ones would do. In that step, we were concerned about saving space and writing economically. Here we’re concerned with a different issue: how using language that’s needlessly complicated can instead impinge on your ability to communicate.

What do I mean by “needlessly complicated” language? Here are some examples:

Utilize = use Initiate = start Subsequent to = after Prior to = before In light of the fact that = because or since In the event that = if In close proximity = near In the near future = soon With reference to = about With regard to = about Regarding = about At this time = now At this point in time = now By means of = by In accordance with = under, by In order to = to In the absence of = without In cases when = when

The basic pattern here is taking a small, simple word and replacing it with a bigger word or a series of words. Just as with jargon, the impulse behind this kind of writing seems to be that it will make you look smarter or more serious or more professional. Why merely begin something when you can initiate it? Why use a thing when you can utilize it?

You’ll notice that a lot of these forms are prepositional phrases, which we discussed in Step 4, Be concise. Learning to recognize them is a useful tool in improving your writing skills.

This kind of deliberate complication is everywhere in business. It has seeped into customer service training. Cashiers in some stores have stopped calling for the “next” customer and started saying “following” instead, as if adding those syllables demonstrates superior customer service.

Of course, stores are not fooling customers about the quality of their service simply by having associates say “following” rather than “next.” By the same token, you’re not fooling anyone when you use needlessly complicated language in your writing. In fact, you’ll impress people more if your writing is straightforward and clear. Let’s look at some examples:

Instead of In the absence of relevant performance data, we are unable to make an appropriate recommendation for an alternative software solution.

Try Without performance data, we cannot recommend alternative software.

Instead of In the event that you encounter a program error, utilize the indicated button on your screen to restart the program.

Try If the program crashes, click the Restart button.

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