Compare and Contrast

36 TAKE BACK THE NIGHT

we celebrate play, art, and invention as leaps into the unknown; but any imbalance can send us back to nostalgia for our primate past and the conviction that the basics of work, nature, and physical labor are somehow more worthwhile or even more moral.

In the same way, we have explored our sexuality as separable from conception : a pleasurable, empathetic bridge to strangers of the same species. We have even invented contraception-a skill that has prob- ably existed in some form since our ancestors figured out the process of birth-in order to extend this uniquely human difference. Yet we also have times of atavistic suspicion that sex is not complete-or even legal or intended-by-god-if it cannot end in conception.

~ No wonder the concepts of "erotica" and "pornography" can be so crucially different, and yet so confused . Both assume that sexuality can be separated from conception, and therefore can be used to carry a personal message. That's a major reason why, even in our current culture, both may be called equally "shocking" or legally "obscene," a word whose Latin derivative means "dirty, containing filth ." This gross condemnation of all sexuality that isn't harnessed to childbirth and marriage has been increased by the current backlash against women's progress. Out of fear that the whole patriarchal structure might be upset if women really had the autonomous power to decide our reproductive futures (that is, if we controlled the most basic means of production-the production of human beings), right-wing groups are not only denouncing pro-choice abortion literature as "pornographic," but are trying to stop the sending of all contraceptive information through the mails by invoking obscenity laws. In fact, Phyllis Schlafiy recently denounced the entire Women's Movement as "obscene."

Not surprisingly, this religious, visceral backlash has a secular, in- tellectual counterpart that relies heavily on applying the "natural" behavior of the animal world to humans. That application is ques- tionable in itself, but these Lionel Tiger-ish studies make their po- litical purpose even more clear in the particular animals they select and the habits they choose to emphasize. For example, some male primates (marmosets, titi monkeys, night monkeys) carry and/ or generally "mother" their infants. Tiger types prefer to discuss chimps and bab~ons, whose behavior is very "male chauvinist." The message is that females should accept their "destiny" of being sexually depen- dent and devote themselves to bearing and rearing their young.

Defending against such reaction in turn leads to another tempta- tion : merely to reverse the terms, and declare that all nonprocreative sex is good. In fact, however, this human activity can be as construe-

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What Is Pornography? 37

tive or destructive, moral or immoral, as any other. Sex as communi- cation can send messages as different as life and death; even the origins of "erotica" and "pornography" reflect that fact. After all, "erotica" is rooted in "eros" or passionate love, and thus in the idea of positive choice, free will, the yearning for a particular person. (Interestingly, the definition of erotica leaves open the question of gender.) "Pornography" begins with a root "porno," meaning "pros- tiiution" or "female captives," thus letting us know .that the subject is not mutual love, or love at all, but domination and violence against women. (Though, of course, homosexual pornography may imitate this violence by putting a man in the "feminine" role of victim.) It ends with a root "graphos," meaning "writing about" or "description of," which puts still more distance between subject and object, and replaces a spontaneous -yearning for closeness with ob)ectification and voyeurism. The difference is clear in the words . It becomes even more so by example.

Look at any photo or film of people making love; really making love. The images may be diverse, but there is usually a sensuality and touch and warmth, an acceptance of bodies and nerve endings. There is always a spontaneous sense of people who are there because they want to be, out of shared pleasure.

Now look at any depiction of sex in which there is clear force, or an unequal power that spells coercion. It may be very blatant, with weapons of torture or bondage, wounds and bruises, some clear hu- miliation, or an adult's sexual power being used over a child. It may be much more subtle: a physical attitude of conqueror and victim, the use of race or class difference to imply the same thing, perhaps a very unequal nudity, with one person exposed and vulnerable while the other is clothed . In either case, there is no sense of equal choice or equal power.

The first is erotic: a mutually pleasurable, sexual expression be- f tween people who have enough power to be there by positive choice. \ It may or may not strike a sense-memory in the viewer, or be creative enough to make the unknown seem real; but it doesn't require us to identify with a conqueror or a victim. It is truly sensuous, and may give us a contagion of pleasure.

The second is pornographic: its message is violence, dominance, and conquest. It is sex being used to reinforce some inequality, or to create one, or to tell us that pain and humiliation (ours or someone else's) are really the same as pleasure. If we are to feel anything, we must identify with conqueror or victim. That means we can only \ experience pleasure through the adoption of some degree of sadism !!

38 TAKE BACK THE NIGHT

or masochism. It also means that we may feel diminished by the role of conqueror, or enraged, humiliated, and vengeful by sharing iden- tity with the victim.

~ Perhaps one could simply say that erotica is about sexuality, but pornography is about power and sex-as-weapon-in the same way we have come to understand that rape is about violence, and not really about sexuality at all.

Yes, it's true that there are women who have been forced by vio- lent families and dominating men to confuse love with pain; so much so that they have become masochists. (A fact that in no way excuses those who administer such pain.) But the truth is that, for most women-and for men with enough humanity to imagine themselves in the predicament of women- pornography could serve as aversion- conditioning toward sex.

Of course, there will always be personal differences about what is and is not erotic, and there may be cultural differences for a long time to come. Many women feel that sex makes them vulnerable and therefore may continue to need more sense of personal connection and safety than men do before allowing any erotic feelings. Men, on the other hand, may continue to feel less vulnerable, and therefore more open to such potential danger as sex with strangers. Women now frequently find competence and expertise erotic in men, but that may pass as we develop those qualities in ourselves. As some men replace the need for submission from childlike women with the pleasure of cooperation from equals, they may find a partner's com- petence to be erotic, too.

Such group changes plus individual differences will continue to be reflected in sexual love between people of the same gender, as well as between women and men. The point is not to dictate sameness, but to discover ourselves and each other through a sexuality that is an exploring, pleasurable, empathetic part of our lives; a human sex- uality that is unchained both from unwanted pregnancies and from violence.

But that is a hope, not a reality. At the moment, fear of change is increasing both the indiscriminate repression of all nonprocreative sex in the religious and "conservative" male-dominated world, and the pornographic vengeance against women's sexuality in the secular world of "liberal" or "radical" men. It's almost futuristic to debate what is and is not truly erotic, when many women are again being forced into compulsory motherhood, and the number of pornographic murders, tortures, and women-hating images are on the increase in both popular culture and real life.

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What Is Pornography? 39

Together, both of the above forms of repression perpetuate that familiar division: wife or whore; "good" woman who is constantly vulnerable to pregnancy or "bad" woman who is unprotected from violence. Both roles would be upset if we were to control our own sexuality. And that's exactly what we must do.

In spite of all our atavistic suspicions and training for the "natu- ral" role of motherhood, we took up the complicated battle for re- productive freedom. Our bodies had borne the health burden of endless births and poor abortions, and we had a greater motive than men for separating sexuality and conception.

Now we have to take up the equally complex burden of explaining that all nonprocreative sex is not alike. We have a motive: our right to a uniquely human sexuality, and sometimes even to survival. As it is, our bodies have too rarely been enough our own to develop erotica in our own lives, much less in art and literature. And our bodies have too often been the objects of pornography and the woman-hating, violent practice that it preaches. Consider also our spirits that break a little each time we see ourselves in chains or full labial display for the conquering male viewer, bruised or on our knees, screaming a real or pretended pain to delight the sadist, pre- tending to enjoy what we don't enjoy, to be blind to the images of our sisters that really haunt us-humiliated often enough ourselves by the truly obscene idea that sex and the domination of women must be combined.

Sexuality is human, free, separate-and so are we. But until we untangle the lethal confusion of sex with violence,

there will be more pornography and less erotica. There will be little murders in our beds-and very little love.