Journal #2

Learning About Gender ldentity & Fairness

Annie is one of the most rambunctictus 4-yeor-olds in the classro<trn. She ktues gross rrtoktr play, speoks in ct lctud uoice, and rarely sits still on her own. While we are talhing ctbout a book ue haue just read together ttncl the gender stereotypes in it, Annie says, "BLtt Julie, I drtn't like girls." I am surprisecl, as one of her two best friends is a girt ,,Why not. Annie?" "'Cuz eirls con't ntn and shout ond haue a goctd time,,' she soys sadly. 'But Artrtie. vou're a Firl. And yctu loue, tct run and shout and haue a Extd time,,, ,,No," she replies, "l'n u pretend Sirl." I am stunnecl. How cctuld it be thet o 4_year_ctld has to deny her qender in rrder tct be uthrt she reully is? Thot is when I decide I haue t<t engoge in an e f fe. c t i u e a n t i-b ias c u r r i c u I u n orut u n cl qe n cle r.

ender is the first core identity that gets young children's attention. It develops very early: By age 2, children begin to notice physical cliffer-

ences and begin to describe themselves as boys or girls, although they are not yet sure what that means (Sprung 2007). By age 3, children have icleas about behaviors, activit ies, and toys that go with gender: "Boys don't cry." . . . "Girls can't play with a hammer." . . . "He can' t have a dol l , he 's a boy!" . . . .Toby is a boy's name; she can't be a Toby." Three- and 4-year_ olds tend to define gender by behavior and appear_ ance rather than by anatomy. By age 4, children are often rigid in their insistence on l imited and srereo_ typical gender role behaviors. By 5, most children have deeply incorporated a gender identity reflecting the gender expectations of their family and the larger society (Klein et al. 2007).

Gender identity includes both gender anatomy and gender role. The physical (anatomical) charac_ teristics that wil l define us as being male or female are a product of our biology. Then our environment (family, culture, peers, society) teaches us about male and female gender expectations; that is, how

someone with that anatomy is "supposed" to behave. Inclividual experience and disposition alscl influence how we unclerstand ancl carry out those gender roles, but gender role expectations ancl l imitations are sti l l amonr.l the strclngest messages children receive.

Typically, a person's gender anatomy ancl gen- der role align. Sometimes, however, a child is born with anatomy that is not unambiguously that of one gender or the other or has features of both genders (intersex). Sometimes a child's anatomical make-up does not match the gender role he or she identif ies with (lrrznsgender). These children and their families will need support for a more complex developmental journey.

While gender anatomy is universal, the behaviors and attitudes considered to be typical and acceptable for each gender differ from culture to culture. And just as cultures are always changing, so are gender role definit ions.

Supporting all children to develop their fullest range of abil it ies and skil ls is one of the key principles of the early childhood education field. Learning envi_ ronments and activities that are gender-equitable put

on Anti-Bias Education

this principle into practice. However, when children absorb messages that l imit their exploration and play, neither boys nor girls are able to prepare fully for the intellectual and emotional realit ies and demands of l i fe (Klein et al. 2007).

For example, l imits on boys learning how to express and manage feelings (e.g., "A big boy l ike you doesn't cry") may curtail their development of emo- tional l i teracy, which risks leaving boys with only physical methods for dealing with their own strong emotions or else poor communication and problem-solving

skil ls. The connection of being "manly" with boisterous, gross motor activity can undermine boys'wil l ingness to engage in quieter, less physical activit ies that are important for cognitive development (e.g., reading books, doing puzzles). Messages that girls are not strong and must be very careful not to get hurt can inhibit (or eliminate) their active play and spirit of adventure; these messages may also result in poor spatial and mathematical cognitive development. Many adults sti l l praise girls for their looks rather than for their achievements-a message that devalues girls fully developing their intellects.

Effective teaching strategies for meeting the goals of this chapter (as for all antibias education goals) take into account families' cultural views, as well as children's individual development. Gender role expectations vary from family to family within a culture and from cultural group to cultural group. Building strong partnerships with families is essential to finding ways to create gender-equitable learning environments that are also culturally sensitive. The ideas and guidelines

discussed in chapter 5 on culture and language wil l help you understand better how to do this.

Children's experiences and understandings of gender identity Young children struggle with many issues as they attempt to understand what being a girl or boy means. The support they do or do not get in their preschool years lays the foundation for the rest of their gender identity formation.

o Many preschoolers are not yet clear about what actually makes them a boy or a $rl.

Rather than their gender anatomy, young children typically focus on the external and cultural aspects of their gender identity-that is, they believe that how they dress (appearance) or what they l ike to do (behavior) is what makes them a girl or boy.

Three-year-old Logan says to Marcus, "You're not a boy. You have long hair." Marcus looks confused.

Caitlyn puts on a hard hat and goes to play at the woodworking table. "Look at me," she announces. "Now I am a boy. Later lwil l be a girl again."

These ideas may come from children's observations of people in their home and community l i fe or on television, from what they hear adults say, or from a combi- nation of sources.

Young children also often believe that they can switch their gender from male to female or from female to male by shift ing their behavior. Coming to understand gender constancy-Ihat how they behave does not change their being a girl or a boy-is a significant developmental task that early childhood teachers can help children figure out.

John's mom has just given birth to his sister. At the child care center, he puts a pil low under his shirt and asks his teacher, "Can I be a mom and have a baby when I grow up?" "You can be a daddy," she replies, "and right now you can pretend to be any- thing you like."

Coals for Chi ldren r Children, regardless of gender, will partici- pate in a wide range of activit ies necessary for their full cognitive and social-emotional development. (ABE Goal l)

. Children wil l demon- strate positive feelings about their gender identity and develop clarity about the relationship between their anatomy and their gender role. (ABE Goal l)

. Children wil l talk about and show respect for the great diversity in appear- ance, emotional expressiveness, behavior, and gender roles for both boys and girls. (ABE Goal 2)

o Children wil l recog- nize unfair or untrue messages (including invisibility) about gender roles. (ABE Goal 3)

. Children will prac- tice skil ls for sup- porting gender role diversity in their inter- actions with peers. (ABEGoa ls3&4)

Learning About Gender ldentity & Fairness

"Sara says I 'm not a girl because I don't l ike dresses," teary-eyed Kalia complains to her teacher. "Do you think you are sti l l a girl?" her teacher asks. Kalia shrugs her shoulders. "Well, you are sti l l a girl," her teacher answers. "You are a girl no matter what you l ike to wear. Your body makes you a girl, not your clothes. How you dress is f ine. Let's explain this to Sara."

o Children may not have words for gender anatomy. By preschool, many children have alreacly

learned discomfort or embarrasslnent with the anat- omy that makes them a girl or a boy.

"How do you know if you are a girl or a boy?" a teacher asks his group of preschoolers. Everyone has an idea: "Boys wear pants." . . . "Girls have long hair." . . . "Boys play with trucks, girls play with dolls." . . . "Boys l ike to run around, girls l ike to sit." When their teacher asks, "What's the difference in our bodies?" some of the children giggle.

As early as prescl.rclol, learnecl soc:ial embarrassrnent about gender anatomy begirrs t<l shclw up as giggling ancl teasing about bodies. Aclult anxiety surround- ing talking about gender anatomy both teaches ancl reinforces such behaviclrs ancl can be an obstacle tcr helping chilclren sclrt clut their confusions.

o Children are influenced bv others' attitudes about gender behavior.

By age 3 or 4, chilt lren's comments ancl interac- tions reveal the influence of fanrily and societal atti- tudes about gencler behavior, c<luplecl with chilclren's own cleveloping attempts at unrlerstancling the wclrld (Klein et al. 2007). These icleas al>out what is and isn't "normal" for a particular gencler are powerful. Under their influence, younq chilclren often irnpose narrow or stereotypical clefinit ions of how fentales ancl nrales are supposed to look or clress clu ttreir classntates or on their own choices.

Alfonso, a teacher in the 4-year-olds room, wears an earring. At snack time, the children at his table ask him whether he is a man or a woman. They cannot agree-some insist he must be a woman because "only women wear earrings."

In a discussion of favorite activit ies, Pete declares, "Only girls play with playdough," even though play- ing with dough is one of his favorite activit ies. "But

/ou were making wonderful things with your dough this morning," his teacher observes, "and other boys were at the table with you, right?" Pete names one; his teacher helps him recall two others. "l l ike to play with playdough, too," Jose chimes in. "My dad plays with it at home," adds Kimi. "So, is it true that only girls play with playdough?" the teacher asks. Everyone says no, and Pete looks relieveo.

Even when their own firsthand exDeriences contra-

dict gender stereotypes, young children sti l l may proclaim the stereotype as the truth.

Four-year-old Rashad and the teacher are looking at a picture book in which characters engage in highly gender-stereotypical activit ies. When they reach the page "Cars and Trucks," the teacher stops: "Rashad, this book is making me mad because all the drivers are men, and that is not true. Women drive cars and trucks, too." But Rashad shakes his head, "Uh-unh, ladies don' t dr ive t rucks," he declares. "But Rashad, how did you get to school today?" asks the teacher. "My momma brought me," he repl ies. " ln what?" asks the teacher, already knowing the answer. "ln our red pickup truck," says Rashad. "And your momma is a lady, isn't she?" asks the teacher. There is a long pause, then Rashad replies, "Yeah-but the truck really belongs to my unc/e."

Don't rie't cl iscouragerl when stereotypical gen- der preferences ancl renrarks continue despite a rich genrler-ecluitalt le' r:urriculum. The key is to provide many ()l) l)ortunities for new ways clf thinking ancl act- ing. Over tinre. t 'hil<lren's ideas about genrier behav- iclr rnay ber'onre nrore flexible ancl broacler as their unclersti inclin{ of qender ancl gencler roles clevelops.

o Children rnay experience emotional conflict atrout acting differently from societal norms.

Aunie, in the oltenitrg anecclote of this chapter, f incls it ne('essary t() crerate a "pretencl girl" category to reconcile hcr love of ;rctive play with her qencler

as she unclcrstarr r ls i ts r le f in i t ion. She is a lso a l reacly unsure she cverr l ikes c i r ls or wants to be a g i r l , per- haps becausc of l rer i rnpressic l r rs c l f the socia l l imi ts on wltat tfrat {r 'rrrler r:an <lcl.

Even wht'n a t ' lr i l<l 's fanrily clr ttre preschclcll euvir<lrtrnent su1rltorts chilclren's clivergent choices, children nrav stnrq{le with clifferences betweerr what they l ike to rlo arrd what societal stereotypes or ttreir

l)eers sily allout wfrat they are "supposed" to clo. Ignorinq sui h conflictecl feelings can result in children developinrt i i nellative self-concept about their gencler iclentity. For examltle,

Rosalic, an active 4-year-old, asks her teacher, "How do you think I look today?" Her teacher responds, " l th ink you look f ine. Why?" Rosal ie repl ies, "Somet imes I th ink I look ugly. " Her teacher pursues th is : "But why?" Rosal ie considers her answer. " l don' t know, I just do. . . . I look l ike a boy," she says. "Do you think you look ugly because you look l ike a boy?" Rosalie says she does.

"Why do you think you look l ike a boy, Rosalie?" her teacher probes. "Because boys wear jeans and shirts [her favorite clothes]," Rosalie replies. "Do you think you have to wear a dress to look pretty?" Rosalie nods. "You know," says her teacher, "you also look

92 Anti-Bias Education

1r

wonderful in jeans and a T-shirt, and sometimes it 's easier to play in them because they don't tear as easily. You don't look l ike a boy. You look l ike Rosalie, no matter what you wear."

When children seem to be feeling such a conflict, it is important that adults encourage them to talk about their feelings about going beyond stereotypical rules of gender behavior.

Some of the favorite costumes in the center are made from women's skirts. Small sl its cut just under the waistbands for the children's arms let the skirts become superhero capes, princess gowns, doctor's uniforms-anything the children want them to be. One morning the teacher puts out some of the costume skirts. Brad puts on the red one, but Victor hesrtates. He reaches for the bright turquoise, satiny one. "ls this a boy's costume?" he asks. "Are you a boy?" the teacher responds. "Yes," he replies soberly. "Then if you wear it, i t 's a boy's costume," she says. Victor's face brightens, and he puts it on and with arms out- stretched swirls around with delight.

A few minutes later, Giovanna comes over and stares at Victor. "That's a girl dress," she says emphati- cally. Victor's face clouds. His arms come down. He pulls the skirt off and kicks it, saying, "You're ugly," and leaves it on the ground. That is the last t ime he wears one of the bright and shiny costumes.

It also may be very useful to init iate activit ies that enable the whole group to explore feelings of confl ict when what they l ike to clo differs from the prevail ing gencler norms, or what a child thinks is the norm.

Victor's teacher hadn't seen his interaction with Giovanna, but she does notice that Victor has stopped wearing the shiny costumes he had seemed to enjoy so much. She casually asks him why, and he sadly tells her what Giovanna said. Knowing that other children sometimes struggle with the conflict between what they l ike to do and what their peers think they are "supposed" to do, the teacher plans to open up the issue with the class.

At the next circle time, she tells them all a per- sona doll story about a boy and a girl doll that are also told they can't do a favorite activity because it is "only for boys" or "only for girls." She explores the dolls' feelings with the children and then asks them what the dolls' classmates could do. After the children share their ideas, she adds some ideas of her own. A few days later, she notices several boys playing comfort- ably with the costumes. But Victor never goes back to wearing them.

o Acknowledging children's nonsexist behavior provides further support for their choices.

Often, providing this support simply requires a brief comment. For examole:

Sofia is playing firefighter wearing the hat and jacket. Samuel wants them for himself. "Girls can't be fire- men," he tells Sofia, trying to take off her hat. "Yes, they can," Sofia insists, pushing his hand away from her hat and continuing to play. Samuel walks off. Their teacher, overseeing their interaction, comments to Sofia, "l 'm glad you spoke up for yourself when Samuel said girls can't f ight f ires. They can."

But again, it may also be useful to init iate follow-up activit ies with the whole group, as this teacher did:

Cody loves playing with the dolls in the dramatic play center. In his family, his dad takes care of him and his siblings while his mom is at the factory. One day his teacher sees Derek playing with blocks next to the dramatic play center. She overhears Derek tell Cody, "Boys don't play with dolls." "Yes they do," insists Cody. Their teacher decides to step in, "Derek, many boys play with dolls. Do you know that men take care of children, l ike Cody's dad takes care of him, his brother, and his sister?" Derek looks dubious and goes back to his play with blocks. The teacher also decides to do an activity with all the children during large group time about men who take care of young children as daddies, uncles, and teachers.

o When teachers model a range of roles and inter- ests that transcend traditional gender stereotypes, they encourage and $upport children in exploring a wide range of cognitive, social, and emotional learning experiences.

Be sure that responsibil i t ies for tasks around the program are not divided along narrow gender roles. Female teachers can fix broken toys, participate in active outdoor games, use tools, and do science activit ies. Male teachers can participate in dramatic play, comfort upset children, and serve and clean up snack. lt makes a big difference when male and female staff rotate through all the tasks so children see non- sexist roles modeled in every part of the program.

Of course, it is much easier to demonstrate that women and men can and do carry out a wide range of roles and activit ies when your program has both males and females on the staff-and when they play a variety of roles. lf your program staff are all female, as is frequently the case, then invite family members, staff fr iends, or community members to come tell children about the range of jobs done by men and women.

r Teachers can unintentionally convey messages of stereotypical gender behavior in their interactions with children.

Sometimes teachers' responses to children reflect longJearned expectations of gender roles that reinforce narrow or stereotypical ideas. We may not

Learning About Gender ldentity & Fairness

even sti l l believe in these messages or realize what

we are conveying.

When I (Julie) was working at a university preschool, we had the idea of videotaping ourselves so the stu- dent teachers could see what good practice looked like. My video showed me greeting children as they arrived-down at their eye level, speaking to each child individually, l ike the good master teacher I was.

Suddenly, I had a shocking moment of self- realization: I greeted every l itt le girl with a patter about her clothing: "Hello Laurie! What a pretty blue blouse you're wearing today." . . . "Hi, Karla. You have new jeans and new tennies, I see!" And I greeted every l itt le boy with a comment about action: "Hey

there. Tou. I put the blocks out for you." . . . "Good

morning, Josue! Your friend Devon is here already, waiting to play with you." On the tape, one litt le boy stood in front of me, stamping his feet. The power of unconscious stereotyping was evident, as not unti l he stuck his foot rn my face did I notice what he was say- ing: "Look, Teacher! I got new boots!"

It is often hard to actually see what we are cloing unti l someone calls it to our attention. Teachers can help each other pay attention to unconscious ancl unin- tended behaviors that convey messages abclut gender roles we do not want to teach. It helps if we ask some- one who works with us to observe for a few clays and note what we clo. (See chapter l l for more information on collaborating with colleagues this way.)

Stop & Th ink : Learn ing about be ing a boy or a gir l

r What were your earl iest lessons about there being r l i f- ferent expectat ious for boys ancl for gir ls? Where cl id you letrrn these lessons ( lronre, school, rcl igious set- t ing, fr iencls, rnecl i ; :r)? How cl icl you ft :r : l as a clr i l r l about thosc lessons?

r As a chi ld, wtrat cl icl you l ikc about being the gencler you are? Dicl yorr ever wal)t to be a cl i f ferent gencler? If you dicl, why? Did you feel auy r 'onfl ict between what you l iked to do and what you thouqht you wero sup- posecl to do?

I How di( l the adults in yoLrr farni ly cl ividt: work anrl responsibi l i t ies by {endur? Have you fol lowecl or changecl those roles as an adult?

I How olcl were you when you fiqtrrecl clut that boys ancl gir ls had dif ferent kinds of bocl ies? Who, i f anyone, helped you f igure this out ' / Do you remember your reaction to this discovery?

r What words, i f any, did you learn in your chi ldh<iod to describe male ancl female anatorny? Are you comfort- able now using the anatomical terms with chi ldren? If not, why?

r What do you remember learning about how important physical appearance was to your family, fr iends, and l i fe success? How did you feel about yourself in rela-

t ion to these messages?

r What is your current thinking about gender roles and appearance? In what ways is your thinking the same or dif ferer.rt from what you learned as a chi ld? How dcr your views inf luence how you work with chi ldren?

Strategies for helping children understand gender anatomy and identity The purpose of the activit ies that f<ll low is to help preschoolers understand that their being a eirl or boy depends on how their boclies are made, not on how they clress or what they l ike to do. Exploring this distinction between anatomy ancl identity is one part

of forming a healthy gender identity that early child- hood teachers can support chilclren in cloing.

Talk with children about gender anatomy

Be preparecl for giggling; handle it by being rnatter- of-fact and clear. Here are two examples of conversa- tions with 4-year-olcls, lecl by an experienced anti-bias educator:

Dur ing c i rc le t ime, Malcolm announces he has a new baby at home and that the baby "drinks milk from my momma's titty." Some of the children giggle and all of them look to the teacher to see what she wil l say. "That's right, Malcolm. A mother's breasts make milk to feed her baby. Some families call them 't itt ies,'

some cal l them 'ch i ch i , ' and some fami l ies don' t l ike to say any word for breasts at all." "That's dumb," says Mei scornfully. "No," the teacher replies, "differ- ent families have different ways of talking about bodies. And that's okay."

"Can men feed babies?" There was a chorus of yeses and nos. "Boys don't have titt ies," Malcolm insists. "Right again," says the teacher, "but there are other ways to feed babies, too." The children eagerly begin to talk about daddies and bottles and about their own experiences feeding babies.

That story and one below il lustrate the dual task of being truthful with young children onrl being sensi- tive to family clifferences in talk about gender-related anatomical terms.

As the children are getting ready to go outside for a rain walk, Malcolm pulls on a pair of f lower pat- tern rain boots he got from his sister. "Oooh," says Antonio, "Malcolm's a g i r l ! Malcolm's a g i r l . " "Am not," growls Malcolm. "Are too!" shouts Antonio. The teacher intervenes. "Changing clothes doesn't change being a boy or a girl. Our bodies are what make us a boy or a girl." "l bet Malcolm's gor a

94 Anti-Bias Education

Y

girl body," teases Antonio. "No," the teacher replies, "Malcolm has a boy body. He was born with a boy body, and no matter what clothes he wears, he sti l l has a boy body."

The teacher also writes herself a note to talk to both boys' families about this conversation, discuss how they explain to their child what makes a boy body different from a girl body, and suggest they initiate such a conversation at home.

Help children dist inguish between anatomy and identity

Be proactive and responsive to chilclren's questions.

Look for opportunities to init iate interacticlns that

offer children accurate information ancl let them try

out their ideas about the differences between being male or female and acting l ike a b<-ry or a girl.

o Encourage chilclren to show respect for their bod- ies. As part of forming a healthy gencler iclentity, all children neecl sonte language for talking about how

the boclies of boys and girls cliffer. LJsing stanclarcl anatomicaf terms such as ua{lino, uulLto, penis, and tcu.s-

llc1e.s creates a comnlon eclucational language. Srtme farnil ies (and teachers) are comfortable with such terms, and many chilclren know ancl use the ternts.

Other families (ancl teachers) use collorluial terms

such as yoni, 'ginu, or peepee. What terms you use in your program is not as important as is using them in

a matter-of-fact way that conveys to chilclren there is

nothing shameful about the parts of their bocly that make them a girl or a boy. Interrupt giggling or teas- ing about bocly parts or terlns for them, anat<lmical and ottrerwise. A teacher cclulcl explain:

"These are parts of our body that tell us if we are a girl or a boy. They are part of who we are. We need these parts just as we need eyes or arms. So, let's not make fun of them or the words we use for them."

o Read books about the bocly to familiarize chil-

dren with all aspects of it. This wil l also enaltle you

to acldress discomfits with talking about the body in general. Unfortunately, although there are a few good books for young chilclren about the bocly (e.g.,

The Hurnon Body, by Sylvaine I'eyrols and Gallimard Jeunesse; Human Body Ency<:lopedia, IromDK Publishing), they leave out gencler anatorny. This

transmits the message that gender anatomy is not to be spoken about. Try to find the few chilclren's books that do show gender anatomy, such as The Bure [Vaked Book (by Heather Stinson); Bodies (by Barbara Brenner), which has excellent photographs of chil-

dren; and What Is a Girl? What Is a Boy? (by Stephanie Waxman), which is out of print but may be available at a public l ibrary.

Learning About Gender ldentity & Fairness

o Many programs use anatomically correct dolls.

Some put the dolls out for children to play with freely;

others use them in persona doll stories to help chil-

dren explore issues of gender identity. These stories

also provide teachers with opportunities to use ana-

tomical terms in a matter-of-fact way. Sometimes, a

family may object to your using anatomical dolls with

their child. lf this is an issue in your program, having

respectful conversations with the family can lead to

finding a third space solution (as described in

chapter 4).

Work sensitively with families

Sorne families are not comfortable with anatomical

terms for gencler anatomy, others with any terms for

it; some may disagree with teachers dcling activit ies

that challenge gencler role stereotypes at all. Many

times, this <liscornfort comes from a family's mistaken

ideas ttrat such activit ies teach sexuality rather than

help children form healthy gender identit ies. Here are

sorne strategies fclr working with families on these

topics:

o Fincl out what the family specifically objects to and

why. Ask how they explain the differences between male ancl female anatomy and what terms they use.

Listen respectfully, ancl be sure to check that you

have heard them accurately.

o Be clear in your own mincl about the gender identity

developmental tasks that young children face ancl the

rationale fclr gender-equitable education.

o Be sure that you understand healthy sexual devel-

opment in the preschool years. Also be sure you

unclerstancl that sexual orientaticln (e.g., heterosexu-

ality, hclmosexuality, transgender) cloes not develop

from the activit ies children do, it is based in a child's particular biology. No play activit ies cnu.se homosex-

uality-or stop it. (A good resource on this is Healthy

Sexuality Deueloprnenf IChrisman & Ccluchenour 20021 . )

o Engage the family in dialogue about why you do

activit ies that provide accurate information and

terms about gender anatomy and its relationship to gencler identity. Explore which activit ies the family

can accept.

o If you notice their child saying or doing something

that makes you think the child is struggling to under-

stand gender differences, ask the family whether you

can suggest to their child that he (or she) ask them, "What makes a boy (girl) body different from a girl

(boy) body?" This way, families can be prepared for

the question when it comes.

95

o Actively search for third space solutions. For example, if a family wil l not send their daughter to school in pants, perhaps you can all agree to keep a pair of pants at school for her to wear during specific activit ies, such as outdoor play. lf a farnily believes that boys do not clean up, explain why this is impor- tant for all children to do at school and see if you can agree on an explanation that preserves the family's values at honre (e.g., "Clean-up tasks at school are part of the job of learning").

o Know your bottclm line. F-or exanrple, regardless of a farnily's views, never permit the teasing of a peer based on the chilcl 's cl<lthing, trairstyle, choice of activit ies. ancl so on. All farnil ies neecl to know that your first responsibil i ty is to keep zrl l chilclren safe and supportecl. While you strive to meet every fam- ily's neecl. you alscl strivc to stay true to your ltrofes-

sional responsibil i t ies. Most of the time you can do both, by honestly searching for common ground with the absolute conviction that families love and care for their children-and so do vou.

Expanding children's gender behavior and attitudes If we just leave children alone, they naturally gravitate toward whatever activity or idea sparks their inter- est-without regard to gender-right? Unfortunately, the reality is that "free play" is not very free, as even young chilclren may already hold restricting, gender- basecl ideas about what kind of play is right for boys ancl what kintl is riglrt fclr girls. There are many ways tcl help children engage in a brclader array of learn- ing activit ies than they may choose on their own.

The Sexua l iza t ion o f Ch i ldhood by Diurte Leuin

'f trday's c:hi lcln:n arc growinq up in a I i ighly sexualized

environrnc'nt that is rnarkecl bv qencler stereotyping of both gir ls ancl boys in rne<li ; t ancl rnarketing, violent content I inked to proclucts targ€rt ing t;oys, ancl use of sexu:r l content :rnd imagery to sel l products to gir ls. A large part of the l t lanre for this situation can be placecl on tht: doorstelts of ntarketers who use setx ancl violence to captur() c: lr i lc lren's attentiou and get thenr to buy produr:ts, in l tart rnacle possible by t lrc cleregulat ion of chi lclren's televisiorr by the Fecleral Cornmunications Cornrnission in thc rnicl-1980s.

The problcm is ncit t frat chi lclren are learning about sex when they arc young. The problern is the part icular lessons they arc krarning in toclay's envi- ronment. Children's icleas about what i t means to be a boy and gir l and about the naturr: of sc.x ancl sexuali ty develop graclual ly ancl are greatly inf lur:nt: t :d by the information providerd by their envirorrureut. ' l 'oclay's media antl commcrcial culture bornbarrl chi ldren with graphic sexual images antl inforrnation that t trey t:arr- not possibly unclerstancl aucl that (: i ln even fr i i {hten them. Children learn uarr()w clef init ions of qencler and sexuali ty that foctrs prirnari ly on i t l ) l )earance. Gir ls learn that their value is cletennine<l by how "sexy"

they look, rather than by who they are or what they achieve. Boys learn to judge gir ls by these shal low standards anrl to judge thernselves and each other by how strong and inclepeurleut thcy seem-and how ready they are to f ight.

When chi ldren are young, they should be having posit ive, age-appropriate experiences that lay the foundation for healthy sexual relat ionships in t l .re future. Today, both gir ls and boys are learning to treat themselves and others as objects. This objecti f icat ion can promote precocious sexual behavior-absent

caring relat ionships, ancl long before chiklren ci ln unclerstancl the cleeper meaning and irnpl i t :at ious of such behavior.

Carinq aclults can do a grerat cleal to frelp ctr i ldren clevelol l to t l teir ful l potential as boys trnrl gir ls ancl help lay the foun<lat ion chi lr lren neecl to clevelop car- ing sexual relat ionships of their owu when t lrey grow tup. For instance, we can:

. Pr()tect cfr i lc lren, as rnuch ancl as long as possible, frortt ; ;opul:rr culture's sexual onslaught.

. Counterr the bel ief that consurninq nrore ancl nrore proclucts is the rozrt l to hitppiness.

o Hell l chi lclren clevelop a wicle range of behaviors that r{et beyond the stereotypes.

o Stop blarning chi lclren for the sexualized behavior they have learnecl from the sexualizecl environment.

. Help chi lclren feel safe talking to us, so we ctrn help them process what they see, answer their questions, clcar up confusiorrs, and inf luence what they learn.

. Provicle moclels of caring and affect ionate i l l t i rnate relat ionships in our own famil ies.

. Encourage parents ancl schools to work to[Jether to support each other's efforts to help chi ldren cle:r l with issues of early sexualization.

. Work at al l levels to create a society that supports the healthy sexual clevel<)pment of chi ldren and that l imits the abi l i ty of corporations to use sex to sel l to thern.

For further reading

f.,evin, D.E., &.1. Kilbourne. 2008. .5b seny.so soof?: The neu sexuaLized chiLdhood and uhat parents can do to protect their kids. New York: Ballantine.

Anti-Bias Education

Moreover, how teachers organize the learning envi

ronment also influences children's choices.

Help children try out new learning centers

Observe children's play during open choice time over

the course of a week. Note in what ways their choices

divide along gender l ines. Do girls mostly play in the

housekeeping area and use "quiet" materials (e.g., puzzles, books, clrawing supplies)? Do boys rarely use

these quiet materials? Do boys, but not girls, most

frequently play in the blocks area and use "action"

materials (e.g., cars and trucks, tools, balls, climb- ing structures)? During dramatic play, are the boys

mostly doctors, superhercles, or f irefighters; are the girls mostly nurses, babies, or waitresses? Do only girls join in on clancing? Do chilclren tell classmates that they cannot play in a specific area ltecause they

are a particular gender? The purpose of your observations is to help

children find a balance between being able to engage

in their activit ies of choice and aLso in activit ies not

typically chosen that are valuable for their cogni-

tive, social, emotional, ancl physical development. Remember that while we want to support choice,

children's choices are not completely "free," as they

are influencecl by bclth overt and covert expectations. Based on your observations, plan how to resup-

ply and reclrganize areas of the classroom envirou- ment to encourage choices that are more cliverse and less stereotypical. Changing the envirclntttettt encour-

ages most children to try new activit ies, although some children wil l neecl extra support. For example, join in yourself unti l chilclren feel cornfortable using new or unfamiliar materials. Make a point of invit ing

reluctant children to try new materials and activi-

t ies with you unti l they seem comfortable init iating

such activit ies themselves. Watch for gender stereo-

typing in the dramatic play area. Add new ideas to expand interest across genderJimited behaviors. For

example:

Miss Zela places stuffed animals in the dramatic play area after a field trip to the zoo, and the girls play with them dav after dav. The teacher talks with them about what kind of places the different animals need to play and s leep in and asks, "Do you th ink you could bui ld the pandas something l ike that?" The girls consider the question, than go get blocks and boxes and begin constructrnS cages and trees.

o Expand the dramatic play area beyond housekeep-

ing equipment and props. Add tool belts and tools

for making "home repairs"; put writ ing and reading

materials (e.g., paper, pencils, computer keyboards,

newspapers) in the "study" or "home office."

o Consider putting the block area next to the dra-

matic play area, without a shelf or boundary between

them, to encourage children to build their own addi-

tions to their dramatic play (e.g., a car or bus, a gas

stat ion) .

o If you notice that the boys avoid dancing and rap-

idly turn any dance into loud jumping, invite a male

dancer in to dance with the children. Follow up with

reading a book that shows male dancers, such as the photo book Dance (by Bil l T. Jones and Susan Kuklin).

o Have an "Everybocly Plays with Blocks Day" or an "Everybody Does Art Day" clnce a week for a month

or unti l many girls and boys are comfortable choos-

ing block play ancl art at free choice time. (This

method requires extra blocks: Team with anclther

teacher, using her blocks on your block day, and vice

versa.) Work with individual girls or ltoys who neetl

extra support.

o If you've noticecl that girls sti l l tend to stay away

from ttre block center and the bclys are dominating

it, have several "girls only" block times: Explain to

the children that this is necessary because you have

noticed that very few girls are playing with the blocks,

while most of the boys are. "lt is important for girls to play with blocks, too, to learn how to builcl things."

Work with the girls cluring this block time, exll laining, "We are going to learn lots of ways to use blocks."

When they have clevelclpecl confidence in their block- playing skil ls, have them work on their clwn in groups

of two or three. After the cirls gain experience witlt

blocks, forrn boy-girl teams to play there together and

help them to work together. In the rneantime, boys

who usually choose blocks can choose other centers-

especially ones they usually avoid.

o Use the same approach of a "boys only" t ime every

few weeks for art activit ies, dramatic play, and small

manipulative materials to expand their repertoire <-rf

activit ies. These "girls only" and "boys only" days are

usually very successful and can make big differences in a short t ime. Children mostly seem relieved and

excited when supported to play beyond stereotypes.

Establish nonsexist routines and experiences

Children observe carefully and learn a great deal from

how adults organize their l ives. The covert messages

children acquire ("When Mommy and Daddy are

together, only Daddy drives the car") are stronger

than the overt messages ("You can be or do anything you want to").

r Insist that all children take equal responsibil i ty in

carrying out the jobs necessary for maintaining the

Learning About Gender ldentity & Fairness

classroom or center. Create rotating boy-girl helper teams to do each task, and appreciate them at circle t imes.

o If you use l ining up as a method for organizing chil- dren's group movement from one place to another, invite children to make a l ist of all the ways they can line up other than "boys here, girls there"-then use these ideas!

o Model learning new skil ls and sharing tasks in the classroom. If you are not experienced in woodworking or coclking or science, join in that center and practice with the children, letting them know what you are doing and why.

o Ensure that girls antl boys get equal opportunities to speak at group times, snack times, ancl the l ike. Support girls in talking about their ideas and skil ls. Be sure to give boys opportunities to express feelings if they often don't. Give equal opportunity to boys and girls to figure out for themselves how to handle diff i- cult rnoments, rather than immediately going to their rescue. When children are choosing activity centers, ensure that centers regularly have spaces for both boys and girls; if this means particular children dcr not get their preferred center that day, assure them they wil l get to choose first the next day.

r Sadly, it is sti l l common for classmates to tease and bully a child who does not conform to gender stereo- types (Giclney 2007). Do not allow teasing about "not acting l ike a Igirl/boy]" to bully a chilcl into acting as she or he is "sup;tosed" to regarding gencler roles. Work with the children to create and live the class- room rule "Everyone gets to be different! Everyone is safe here."

Build chi ldren's ski l ls for thinking crit ical ly and taking action Young children benefit from activit ies that provide them opportunities to explore their ideas about gender identity and to think about what is or is not "fair" with respect to gender. As preparation, f ind out what children actually think about what girls, boys, women, and men do-and are "supposed" to do. This can be qui te enl ightening.

For example, invite the children to complete the phrases "These are things that [women/men] do. . . ." After getting their ideas, ask some prompting ques- tions, such as "Can a Iboy/girl/woman/man] do Iname specific activit ies that contradict what the children saidl?" Write down all the children's ideas. Use this information to plan activit ies to broaden children's awareness of gender roles and activit ies people actu-

ally do. In each activity, be sure there is racial iden- tity, ethnic/cultural, and economic class diversity, as well as images of people with disabil it ies. Here are some possibil i t ies:

o Create a display of pictures of women and men doing the same "home" or "work" task-for example, in a meeting, walking the dog, cooking, carrying a child, and so on. Use this display to talk about the many kinds of tasks the children's family members do and about what kinds of tasks the children do rrow ar home and would l ike to do when they grow up.

r Collect pictures and books that show males and females displaying various emotions. Tell persclna doll stories that go beyond stereotypical gender behav- iors. Invite the children to figure out strategies for responding to negative comments made by the dolls (e.g., "You are not a real [girl/boy] if you do that").

o Invite visits from adults whose work, home, and community activit ies wil l broaden the children's icleas about gender roles and challenge gender stereotypes (e.g., male nurse, female auto mechanic, male dancer, female firefighter, female soccer player, stay-at-home father, female Habitat for Humanity volunteer). Ask the visitors to tell the children about their work. Take photos of them, and later have chilclren dictate what they learned from the visits. If possible, take field trips to watch these same visitors at their work- places. Document what the children experience. Back in the classroom, again have children dictate about what they saw and learned; then post your photcls and children's clictation. Make books for the class- room based on the children's experiences with the visitors to your classroom and your field trips to their workplaces.

After doing these activit ies, go back to the init ial l ist of children's gender role ideas. Invite them to acld to it, based on what they have learned since then. Point out what the children "used to think," and con- trast that with what they now know about "what men and women do." Share the l ists with the children's families. Ask the families to point out additional examples that can help create and support children's broadening gender views.

Ellen Wolpert, a longtime center director and anti-bias educator, describes a useful crit ical-thinking tool to counter children's use of stereotypes, which she calls the Fact or Stereotype game:

Introduce the word fccf as "something we all agree is true," and then the word stereotype as "something that isn't always true but that some people believe is true about a group." Then suggest that children test out some possible stereotypes. For example, you might use this one: "Some people say that boys run faster

AntLBias Education

than girls. Let's find out!" Take the children outside to take turns running with a timer, and let them see that their own behavior shows them that certain boys run faster than certain girls do, and certain girls run faster than certain boys do. Conclude together that "boys run Iaster than girls" is a stereotype! Play the game anytime you hear a chi ld voicing a stereotype (e.g., "Only mom- mies cook"). Go around the room and find out whether any children live in families where someone other than the mother does the cooking: "Fact or stereotype?" Write down what you find out together.

Play this game often, using a range of stereotypes, so

that chi ldren are able to investigate this kind of mis-

information for themselves-i t is very empowering.

And young chi ldren love the big word "ste-re-o-type"!

Take action ABE Goal 4 supports chilclren in stancling up for fair

treatment for themselves and fclr <lthers. Like all

other learning, it requires small, ongoittg steps to

allow children to learn, practice, and deepen their

skil ls. As they learn to recognize unfairness, chilclren

may be left feeling angry and helpless ur)less their

learning is coupled with ways <lf cl 'rangin{ unfair tc)

fair. When we encourage chilclren to take responsibil-

ity for making l ife better for themselves atrcl clthers,

they gain confidence in their abil ity to work with oth-

ers to create positive change.

o Engage the chilclren in discussing ways to hanclle

hurtful or discriminatory behaviclrs. Here's a l ist frorn

Julie's classroom: "You can say, 'Stop that'!" . . . "You

can ask another kid to help." . . . "You can just do

what you want anyhow." . . . "We got a rule, 'We all get

to be clifferent'1" Use persona dolls to help chilclren practice their good ideas. Post the l ist of strategies

that the children develop.

o Acknowletlge and honor children when they stand

up for themselves or for others.

o With kindergarten or school-age children, pay

particular attention to their using terms of gender

or sexual orientation as Dut-downs. Such slurs often

reflect biases against people who are gay or lesbian;

however, even teasing another child as being "girl ie"

or "acting l ike a boy" are hurtful. Young children may

not understand the full significance of the words but

do know they are put-downs.

o Celebrate International Women's Day (March 8)

by honoring the important women in the l ives of the

program's children and staff, as well as women who

have made and are making important contributions

in the larger society. These women do not have to be

famous, just important to the children. This activity

helps to broaden children's ideas about the role of

women as heroic, since most media heroes are Inen.

o Watch for incidents that could be springboards for

acticln appropriate to the children's stage of develop-

ment and for the lclcal community. For example:

In one urban preschool, the children l ike to take walks around the block. One day their teacher notices a "Man Wanted" sign in a store window. She reads it to the children, explaining what it means. When they get back to school, she helps them discuss the sign, and the children decide it is not fair to say "Mon Wanted" and ask their teacher to write this down. The teacher takes the letter to the store owner, invit ing him to visit the i r c lassroom. He does, and he te l ls the chi ldren they are right and he wil l change the sign to read "Man

or Woman Wanted." Later the children send him a thank you card.

Limiting gender roles hurt children in all areas of

their clevelopment. While gender role norms have

become less narrow in some communities, there is

sti l l considerable pressure on children to shape and

limit their learning behaviors according to gender.

Paying attention to the diversity and equity in rela-

tion to gender identity creates a strong foundation for

children to succeed in school and life-and to fully

become who they can be. It is a vital part of antibias

eclucation.

Remember to do gender identity activit ies that cultivate all four anti-bias education goals

Learning About Gender ldentity & Fairness 99

From Cender Bias to Cender Equity Early Childhood Education Staff

tn

by Bryan G. Nelson

\ A /hat benefits do fathers and male teachers provide V V children?" I am asked this question frequently,

despite the existence of many studies that demonstrate that children do benefit from the involvement of fathers and other male caregivers in children's upbringing. On the other hand, I am never asked about the benefits of mothers and <tther female caregivers. That is a non- question-we just take it for granted that ctr_ildren need women.

So, why the question about men? I 've cclme to the realization that asking that question is an indication of the confusion we have about chi ldren and men. I t is one key way that sexism keeps men from being involved in y<.rung chi ldren's dai ly l ives.

Instead, early chi ldhood educators need to ask and answer questions such as these: "What can we do to sup- port positive male involvement with children as parents, caregivers, and early childhood educators?" . . . "How can we make our program more welcoming to rnen?" When we change the questions, we change our focus from gender bias to gender equity.

In addit ion, we must uncover and overcome myths and stereotypes that get in the way. Here are some exam- ples (adapted from Nelson 2004):

Myth: Men do not apply for jobs to teach or care for young children-They do, but often they do not get hired.

Myth: Men are not wanted or needed to work with young children-Most people want to have caring men irrvolved in children's lives. In fact, in one survey, 98 per- cent of NAEYC members said they bel ieved i t is impor- tant for men to work with young children (Nelson 2002).

Myth: Men who teach young children are gay-Men who teach young children are a diverse group that includes men who are straight, bisexual, and gay, just like the group of women who teach young children and just like the population at large. In an inclusive profes- sion that serves a diverse population of children and famil ies, sexual orientat ion has no place in determining the appropriateness of a person to be a teacher of young children.

Myth: Nlen are not nurturing or patient enough to work with young children-Men have been caring for chi ldren as fathers, uncles, brothers, and grandfathers for generations. How they do this varies by culture and throughout history. So, too, have the ways women care for chi ldren varied.

Myth:Men who work with young children will sexu- ally molest them-Of course we must keep our children safe. But suspecting every man, or instituting "no-touch" policies for male teachers only, does not protect children. Actions rather than suspicions are what protect children. These actions include carefully screening, recruiting, and supervising all staff and volunteers; providing staff train- ing on preventing and recognizing child abuse; and build- ing close partnerships with parents (NAEYC 1996).

Most people do believe that it is irnportant for chil- dren to have men as teachers and caregivers. However, until we challenge the myths and stereotypes about male teachers, this is unlikely to happen. If we want male teach- ers to enter and remain in early childhood education, then the field must encourage, support, and accept them.

For further reading Carlson, F. , & B.G. Nelson. 2006. Reducing aggression wi th

tcruch. l)rnrensions of Early Cltiklhootll\4 (3): 9-15. Father lnvolvement lnitiative.2002. The effects of futher

inwluerrtent: A suntrnory of the research euidence. Ontar io: Author.

Nelson, 8.2002. The importance of male teachers and reasons uhy there ure so feu. Minneapolis, MN: MenTeach.org.

Nelson, B.G., & B. Sheppard, eds. 1992. Men in chi ld care and early education: A handbctok for udministrotors and educators. Minneapolis, MN: Men in Child Care Project.

Pruett, K. 2000. Fatherneed: Why father care rs as e.s.ser tiaL as mother care for your chi1d. New York: Broadway Books.

Sean, E. , S.E. Brotherson, & J.M. White, eds.2007. Why fathers count: The importance of fathers and their inuolLle- ment uith children. Harriman. TN: The Men's Studies Press.

Voices from the Field