Touchstone 4: Revise an Argumentative Research Essay

Mental Health Among College Students

Tomia Willingham

Sophia Learning

Eng 215

March 14, 2021

Introduction

Going to college can be demanding for many people. In addition to managing academic insistence, many students have to cope with their families' complex separation tasks. At the same time, some of them continue to deal with a lot of many family duties. Mental health experts and advocates contend that it is an epidemic that colleges need to investigate further. Depression, anxiety disorders are some of the significant mental health issues that affect college students. The effects of suicidal ideas on university students' academic achievement have not been explored, yet mental health conditions are associated with academic achievement (De Luca et al., 2016). A novel coronavirus has worsened the situation of mental health. Even before the onset of this virus, there was concern from mental health policymakers in America because of the rising mental health challenges. They claimed a need for additional aid for struggling university students and the capability for these institutions to provide it. Regrettably, many university students with mental health conditions do not seek and receive the necessary treatment. The primary reasons for not pursuing help include thinking that the challenge will get better with time, stigma from their peers and no time to seek the treatment because of a busy schedule (Corrigan et al. 2016). Without this treatment, college students experiencing medical conditions most of the time get lower grades, drop out of college, immerse themselves into substance abuse, or become unemployed. Because these mental health conditions are invisible, they can only be seen through academic performance or social behavior change. Should universities strike a balance between mental health conditions and academics? This review will conclude that the mental health condition of university students and scholars should be balanced. Comment by Dr. Helen Doss: You need to answer this question and present the answer as the thesis at the end of this paragraph. Comment by Dr. Helen Doss: This is not a review essay—it is an argumentative or persuasive essay. Comment by Dr. Helen Doss: What does this mean—should be balanced? By what? For what? And, by whom? Comment by Dr. Helen Doss: This paragraph is too long. See: https://www.umgc.edu/current-students/learning-resources/writing-center/writing-resources/parts-of-an-essay/paragraph-structure.cfm

Effects of not Balancing Mental Health and Academics

There are consequences of not balancing mental health and academics in higher learning institutions, mainly if they do not receive any treatment. For example, if depression goes untreated, it raises the chances of risky behavior like substance abuse. The condition affects how students sleep, eat, and it also affects how students think. Also, students cannot concentrate in class, and they cannot make rational decisions. By lack of concentration, students may be having many essays in the same week they are undertaking their finals. This means that such a student will stay up for long hours to complete the papers and prepare for the finals. In the process, the student interrupts the sleeping cycle, and concentrating during the finals may be complex, leading to failure. This means that academic performance will be impacted negatively. Comment by Dr. Helen Doss: You need to provide a background information paragraph to define key terms and provide context Comment by Dr. Helen Doss: Who? Comment by Dr. Helen Doss: You need sources for the claims in this paragraph

Depression is a common source of suicidal thoughts among college students. Kibbey, Fedorenko & Farris (2020) claim that mental health conditions such as Depression have worsened because of COVID-19. They assert that after colleges were closed after the virus outbreak, many people, including students, were confined at home, and those who were accessing counseling services could not do so at home. This caused the elevation of psychological anguish among college students. On the other hand, many college students diagnosed with anxiety disorder usually experience challenges functioning on campus. It decreases the students' academic performance and potency. More acute levels of anxiety may cause incomplete assignments and fail of tests. Comment by Dr. Helen Doss: Do not capitalize Comment by Dr. Helen Doss: You need sources for the claims in this paragraph

Further, college students who suffer from anxiety disorder may drop out of college. Transitioning from secondary school to university is a challenge for many students because it involves a distinct environment, new people, and course work. There is a high probability of a mental health condition for students who did not prepare well for this transition. Also, international students face mental health conditions when they join college. Many exhibit long periods of sadness and signs of Depression because living away from family at such a tender age and experiencing a whole contemporary culture can cause mental instability. Comment by Dr. Helen Doss: You need sources for the claims in this paragraph

Tackling Mental Health Comment by Dr. Helen Doss: ? Use formal language: https://unilearning.uow.edu.au/academic/2bi.html

There are several things that university officials can do to foster positive emotional assistance to students. These measures will help curb the dropout rates and assist students in having mental health and academic balance. Firstly, colleges should expand counseling services. Universities spend a lot of money on extra-curricular activities and fall short in coming up with measures that provide mental care to their students. As a consequence, students face a lot of challenges with their mental stability. Comment by Dr. Helen Doss: You need sources for the claims in this paragraph

Further, many students who need this help may be reluctant to seek out help because of stigma. Bharadwaj, Pai & Suziedelyte (2017) claim there is a lot of stigmatization of people suffering from mental health conditions. Many students may decide not to seek help because they are afraid of what their peers will say. For those students who look for counseling services in their institutions, there is a high probability that they will wait for long before seeing a counselor. Other institutions limit the number of sessions disregarding the needs of individual students. Students in colleges may benefit if their institutions add more counselors and establish peer assistance teams for students with various health conditions. Setting a more extensive counseling department will assist students who need help, and their academic performance will rise. Comment by Dr. Helen Doss: What help? Be specific Comment by Dr. Helen Doss: ? Use formal language: https://unilearning.uow.edu.au/academic/2bi.html Comment by Dr. Helen Doss: You need more sources for the claims in this paragraph

According to some experts, almost a quarter of all university students have been determined to suffer from a mental health condition or be treated professionally. They feel deserted and feel like they are in the battle alone. It is paramount for universities to invite mental health experts and speakers to talk to first-year students during their orientation sessions (Bruffaerts et al., 2018). These speakers can reach out to students transitioning from high school and international students who may be far from their parents. These freshmen will feel they are not alone in this new life. Colleges should strive to work closely with international students because they are unique to this culture, and they do not comprehend how things are done. Prieto‐Welch, (2016) contends that working closely with them will reduce stress levels and that lack of sensitizing these students may lead to depression. Comment by Dr. Helen Doss: Who? Be specific

These colleges should also incorporate wellness sessions in the curriculum, particularly in situations such as the one the world is undergoing of the novel coronavirus. Also, colleges must encourage school-life equilibrium. Each lesson that a student attends should change them. Nevertheless, students should not leave a lecture session feeling like they have been running a marathon on an empty stomach. At times, stress from these lecture sessions may be too much to handle, and universities should encourage professors to design their courses in a manner that pushes students without overwhelming them. Officials must comprehend that many college students today have a job and attend lectures at the same time. The rising cost of living means that students can even take full-time employment to buy books and reduce students' loans. This schedule may create stress, and thus, colleges should encourage students to balance their school and life. Comment by Dr. Helen Doss: You need sources for the claims in this paragraph

Colleges should also offer students life skill lessons because these students have extra freedom than they can handle. They may lose some of the social networks they had in high school, and they do not have parents around to guide them. Being alone heaps a lot of pressure on the students, and they may suffer from anxiety and Depression. Colleges should incorporate life skills in their curriculum to teach students ideas such as scheduling, budgeting, and other crafts (Roh & Kim, 2015). When university students feel assisted by the institution, they can manage their mental health and academics. Many universities are plagued by gender-based violence, and women are more vulnerable to sexual harassment. Today, there is a lot of hate going around in colleges, and the LGBTQ are prone to bullying, which leads to Depression and lowered grades. Comment by Dr. Helen Doss: ? do you mean “cannot handle”

Benefits of Positive Mental Health Comment by Dr. Helen Doss: Is this section necessary? These seem obvious. Or, place it in the conclusion.

Once colleges put in place measures to promote mental health care, some benefits accrue. The campus's reputation is raised, and every student across the globe wants to join the institutions, which means that the economic gains will also increase. A college with no dropouts will maximize its financial revenue. Further academic benefits will again rise because students who have mental stability will raise their grades. Suppose universities cannot balance the mental health and academic performance of their students. In that case, it is bound to lose economically because no parent wishes to take their children to an institution with a high turnover of suicide cases.

Additionally, these colleges may also get funding from various donors for promoting mental health in their campuses (Barry et al., 2019). Further, the self-esteem of the students’ increases when they do not have any mental condition. When the esteem is up, students become more innovative in class, and many discoveries may happen. Another benefit of stable mental health is time management. Many students today work, and they need to manage their time. When an institution focuses on its students' mental health, it will follow that students can manage their life well. They will go to work, attend lectures, and hand in their assignments on time. But professors must also work with students to give them ample time to complete their projects. Finally, society also benefits because the number of people involved in antisocial behavior decreases. People who drop out of college are engaged in many social mischiefs, and when colleges retain these students, society will be made up of people who will benefit the community.

Counter Argument Comment by Dr. Helen Doss: This needs development

A counterargument to the claim is that students with mental health instability are bound to have a poor academic performance. Although some students suffer from these conditions, they brave the needs and improve their grades. Although some of these conditions lead to poor academic performance, we cannot solely attribute this failure to mental health. Some students have had certain mental conditions since elementary school, but they find their way to prestigious colleges worldwide. Some students give up fast and see themselves dropping out of college. Comment by Dr. Helen Doss: Where is the rebuttal?

Conclusion Comment by Dr. Helen Doss: Where is the reiteration of your thesis?

In conclusion, mental health is an important topic not only for university students but the whole society. Many people, including university students, suffer from one or more mental conditions. In universities, it is upon leaders to develop ways to lower mental health conditions, such as expanding the counseling division. The department should be staffed all the time, and these counselors should not limit the number of times a student visits. When colleges improve their students' mental health, it will benefit financially, and it will also attract a lot of students and donors because everyone wants to be associated with an institution whose academic performance is high. The mental health of students is good. However, some people contend that poor academic performance should not be blamed on adverse mental health because students have these conditions and perform well in college. Comment by Dr. Helen Doss: What does this mean?

References Comment by Dr. Helen Doss: New page and centered

Barry, M. M., Clarke, A. M., Petersen, I., & Jenkins, R. (Eds.). (2019). Implementing mental health promotion. Springer Nature.

Bharadwaj, P., Pai, M. M., & Suziedelyte, A. (2017). Mental health stigma. Economics Letters 159, 57-60.

Bruffaerts, R., Mortier, P., Kiekens, G., Auerbach, R. P., Cuijpers, P., Demyttenaere, K., ... & Kessler, R. C. (2018). Mental health problems in first-year college students: Prevalence and academic functioning. Journal of affective disorders, 225, 97-103.

Corrigan, P. W., Kosyluk, K. A., Markowitz, F., Brown, R. L., Conlon, B., Rees, J., ... & Al-Khouja, M. (2016). Mental illness stigma and disclosure in college students. Journal of Mental Health, 25(3), 224-230.

De Luca, S. M., Franklin, C., Yueqi, Y., Johnson, S., & Brownson, C. (2016). The relationship between suicide ideation, behavioral health, and college academic performance. Community mental health journal, 52(5), 534-540.

Kibbey, M. M., Fedorenko, E. J., & Farris, S. G. (2020). Anxiety, Depression, and health anxiety in undergraduate students living in initial US outbreak "hotspot" during the COVID-19 pandemic. Cognitive Behavior Therapy, 1-13.

Roh, Y. S., & Kim, S. S. (2015). Integrating problem-based learning and simulation: Effects on student motivation and life skills. CIN: Computers, Informatics, Nursing, 33(7), 278-284.

Pathos strives to appeal to emotions, and they try to convince people of a claim by developing an emotional reaction. In this essay, Prieto‐Welch, (2016) applies pathos when he contends that international students may suffer from mental health if colleges do not induct them correctly into the contemporary culture. Pathos gives a method for the audience to link to the subject through emotions.

I would like to know whether my essay's organization was proper and whether my paper had clarity. Also, I would like to know whether my report followed a logical order. Comment by Dr. Helen Doss: It needs some work, but it is a good start Comment by Dr. Helen Doss: It could have been more clear with a s strong thesis and use of more sources with in-text citations Comment by Dr. Helen Doss: Somewhat—see my notes above. You made a strong effort.