REFLECTION PAPERS on the movie "Hitch"
memozee1020
soc315ch81.pptxMarriage
Chapter 8
Thompson: “The way the whole issue of family life in America is framed politically and culturally is dependent on utopian images of the family that come out of 50’s television”
Old TV shows did not actually reflect the American family; instead, they established the notion of what a perfect American family is supposed to be.
Love & Marriage
Prior to the Industrial Revolution, marriage in the US was a practical arrangement between two families
Different countries have different ideas of the role of love in choosing a mate
Emphasis on romantic love as a basis for marriage emphasizes individual gratification
Romantic love can be seen as a danger to the integrity of the structure of the community or nation
Hindu view: “a marriage is something that affects so many people, relatives, ancestors, neighbors, and friends, in serious ways. How can you possibly leave it up to one young person, driven by lust and passion, to make a sound decision?”
There isn’t much agreement on this topic, in terms of who should be allowed to marry, the steps leading to marriage, and the expectations once married
Despite the differences in conceptualization, marriage has not lost its ideological significance
US has highest marriage rate; 90% of all Americans will marry
But individuals are waiting longer to get married, may cohabit at some point, and divorce easier
Some form of marriage exists in all societies around the world
Who we believe to be good/bad partners, what we believe to be acceptable/unacceptable are the products of factors including family, culture, tradition, religion, media, social contacts and other factors like technology and globalization
Why Do People Get Married?
Main reason people get married is because of love. After that, main reasons are companionship, wanting children, and happiness
Marriage for the “Right” Reasons:
Emotional Security – looking for an emotional and enduring relationship
Companionship – want to avoid being alone
Parenthood
Marriage for the “Wrong” Reasons:
Physical attraction
Economic security
Pressure from parents, peers, partners….pregnancy
Escape, rebellion, rebound, rescue
Fraudulent marriage
Interracial Marriage
A major key in predicting the happiness of interracial marriages is the extent to which the couple is aware of how their union is perceived by others with regard to racial issues, and how much social support they receive for their relationship from relatives and friends
Rates of intermarriage in the US have increased in the past 30 years, but not dramatically
African Americans least likely to marry outside of their group
Black women least likely to be in an interracial marriage
About 1/3 as likely as Black men to marry someone from another race
The higher the education level of the partners, the greater the chance of intermarriage
1/5 of all married Asian women are married to someone of another race; more than double the rate of Asian men
Native Americans, Hawaiians and individuals of mixed race (duh) have the highest interracial marriage rate
70% of all interracial couples in 2000 include:
A person of “some other race” + White spouse
Black husband + White wife
White husband + Native American wife
Asian women + White husbands
Expectations of Marriage
Marriage as a Rite of Passage:
Rite of Passage – an event signaling a major change from one social status to another
Engagement
Wedding
Honeymoon
Marriage in Expectation of Sexual Exclusivity & Permanence:
Most partners assume that their relationship will be built around 2 promises: sexual exclusivity and permanence.
Marriage as a Legal Commitment:
By making a legal, contractual commitment, the state where you live has an interest in how you terminate the marriage, how property is divided, and how children are shared.
Marital Quality
Marital quality is composed of 2 factors: marital stability and marital satisfaction
Research has a lack of information about the underlying factors influencing marital processes and outcomes among diverse groups
Participants who became parents by the 3rd year of marriage had higher levels of tension
In a survey of 247 Black and White women, they found that equity, trust and emotional health predicted marital happiness
Among Black women, their physical health and the closeness of their relationship to their in-laws also predicted marital well-being
Upper class vs. lower class expectations
3 contractual marital agreements:
Covenant marriage – is an anti-divorce contract where couples demonstrate their commitment to marriage by a) getting premarital counseling, b)getting therapy when needed, and c) agreeing not to divorce until after 2 years of separation, or after proving adultery or abuse
Prenuptual agreement
Postnuptual agreement
Phases in the Family Life Cycle
1. The Beginning Phase: Most Marital Satisfaction
“Identity bargaining”
Loss of independence
New friends & relatives
Defining career & domestic roles
2. Child-Rearing Phase: Less Marital Satisfaction
Period of less marital satisfaction is correlated with the most intense periods of childbearing and childrearing
Changes during childrearing years:
Work
Domestic responsibilities
Sexual changes
3. Middle-Age Phase: More Marital Satisfaction
Empty-nest syndrome – depression after children have moved out
4. Aging Phase
One study found that wives became less deferential to their husbands, and men became less patriarchal and more collaborative with their wives
5 Types of Enduring Marriages (Cuber & Harroff)
Utilitarian Marriages: Based on convenience
1. Conflict-habituated – tension & unresolved conflict
Fighting is an acceptable way of dealing with each other
2. Devitalized – lost the strong emotional connection, but stay together out of duty
3. Passive-congenial – couples focuses on activities rather than emotional intimacy
Different from devitalized in that this is how they’ve always been
Intrinsic Marriages: Fundamentally rewarding
4. Vital – partners are intensely bound together psychologically and participate in many aspects of each other’s lives
5. Total – bound together psychologically, but participate in all aspects of each other’s lives, and have few areas of tension/conflict
4 Types of “Good Marriages” (Wallerstein & Blakeslee)
Based on a very limited sample: all white, well-educated, and middle-class, 50 couples total
Romantic marriage – filled with passion and sex. Romantic ideas of destiny and “ever after”
Rescue marriage – point is to provide comfort for past suffering
Companionate marriage – spouses base relationship on equality and friendship
Traditional – husband is the breadwinner, wife is homemaker
Qualities of Good Marriages
Homogamy – marriages between people of similar education, ethnicity, religion, age and social class tend to be more successful
Similar characteristics and interests = higher happiness
Income – the more the income and the higher the occupational status, the higher the likelihood of happiness
Equity – partners give in proportion to what they receive
Equality – equal status and responsibility for domestic, financial and emotional duties
Multiple studies have found that women spend almost double the amount of time on household chores
