Sociology

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soc103chp6communicationpowerconflict.ppt

COMMUNICATION, POWER & CONFLICT

VERBAL & NOVERBAL
COMMUNICATION

  • Verbal part – expresses basic content
  • Nonverbal part – expresses?
  • Attitude of the speaker
  • How words are to be interpreted
  • Full content of the message

FUNCTIONS OF NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

  • Three important functions
  • Conveying interpersonal attitudes
  • Expressing emotions
  • Handling ongoing

interaction

FORMS OF NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

  • Proximity
  • Eye contact
  • Touch

FAMILY RULES &
COMMUNICATION

  • Family rules
  • Often governed by cultural/societal rules
  • Gender role rules

GENDER DIFFERENCES IN COMMUNICATION

  • Differences pronounced in cross-sex communication
  • Differences in verbal and nonverbal communications

WOMEN’S COMMUNICATION

  • Women smile more, express wider range of emotions, maintain more eye contact
  • Women use more qualifiers, more tag questions, more intensifiers
  • Women speak in more polite and less insistent tones

MEN’S COMMUNICATION

  • Men use fewer words for color, texture, food, relationships, and feelings
  • Men use more and harsher profanity
  • Men talk more and interrupt women more
  • Men disclose less personal information to other men and restrict themselves to safer topics such as sports, politics, or work

MORE ABOUT MEN

  • Men’s style of both verbal and nonverbal communication fit more with positions of dominance, women’s of subordination

COMMUNICATION PATTERNS &
MARITAL SATISFACTION

  • Look at: Premarital communication,
  • Intimacy (self-disclosure) as a predictor,
  • The “honeymoon effect,”
  • Living together as a predictor, and
  • Couples who live together before marriage more likely to separate or divorce (why?)

CONSEQUENCES OF LIVING TOGETHER

  • Places couples further along into the period when marital satisfaction may decline anyway
  • Cohabitants tend to be younger, less religious, and more likely to come from divorced homes
  • Less mature
  • May be less committed to marriage
  • Cohabitation associated with alcohol use, infidelity

MARITAL COMMUNICATION PATTERNS & SATISFACTION

  • Couples in satisfied marriages tend to:
  • Accept conflict but engages in nondestructive methods of resolution
  • Have less frequent conflict
  • Intimacy – positive and negative feelings, not just negative; more time spent talking
  • More equal levels of affection
  • And…

ENCODING AND DECODING

  • Encode?
  • Able to send accurate and effective verbal and nonverbal messages
  • Decode?
  • Able to understand such messages from their partners

GENDER DIFFERENCES IN ENCODING & DECODING

Gender Differences

  • Women send clearer messages
  • Women more sensitive and responsive to men’s messages
  • More likely to reply to messages in general
  • Women tend to be more expressive when giving messages

  • Men more likely to be neutral (gives women impression they don’t care)

MORE DIFFERENCES

  • Women set the tone for arguments
  • Women will escalate or de-escalate the argument

  • Women use emotional appeals and threats more
  • Men tend to reason, seek conciliation, and find ways to postpone or end an argument

MAJOR TYPE OF MARITAL COMMUNICATION

  • Demand-withdraw communication
  • Pattern in which one spouse makes an effort to engage the other, and the other withdraws by leaving, failing to reply, or changing the subject
  • Women tend to demand and men withdraw
  • Depends on subject and who raises it
  • Common, but not particularly healthy

STYLES OF MISCOMMUNICATION

  • Virginia Satir (1916-1988)

ABOUT VIRGINIA SATIR

  • Virginia Satir is one of the key figures in the development of family therapy.
  • She believed that a healthy family life involved an open and reciprocal sharing of affection, feelings, and love.
  • She made enormous contributions to family therapy in her clinical practice and training at Illinois Psychiatric Institute and Palo Alto, CA Mental Research Institute.

FOUR STYLES OF MISCOMMUNICATION

  • Placaters
  • Blamers
  • Computers
  • Distractors

MISCOMMUNICATION & LIKELIHOOD OF DIVORCE

  • Five reactions to conflict particularly problematic:
  • Contempt
  • Criticism
  • Defensiveness
  • Stonewalling (resisting partner’s complaint)
  • Belligerence (defiant challenge)

WHY PEOPLE DON’T COMMUNICATE

  • Traditional gender roles especially affect men
  • Feelings of inadequacy for both men and women
  • Shame, guilt
  • Fear
  • Not self-aware

FACTORS HELPING COMMUNICATION

  • Trust, feedback, mutual affirmation
  • Trust (belief in the reliability and integrity of a person)
  • What contributes to developing trust?
  • Relationship likely to continue
  • Predict how a person will behave
  • Person has other options but chooses to be with their partner

FEEDBACK

  • Focus on “I” statements
  • Focus on behavior rather than on the person
  • Focus on observations rather than on inferences or judgments
  • Focus on a continuum, not on “always” or “never”
  • Focus on sharing ideas rather than giving advice, as well as how much the recipient can process
  • Focus feedback at an appropriate time and place

MUTUAL AFFIRMATION

  • Includes three elements:
  • Mutual acceptance
  • Liking each other
  • Expressing liking in both words and actions

POWER, CONFLICT & INTIMACY

  • Power – ability to influence or make decisions about others
  • Usually not aware of power we have
  • Intimate relationships not only based on love, but power
  • Takes many forms – not just coercion and not constantly exercised
  • Usually comes into play during important issues and conflict

BASES OF MARITAL POWER

  • French & Raven – 6 bases of marital power:
  • Coercive power (fear of punishment)
  • Reward power (get something in return)
  • Expert power (belief partner has greater knowledge)
  • Legitimate power (accepting roles giving the other person right to demand compliance)
  • Referent power (identifying with partner)
  • Informational power (persuasiveness)

CONFLICT

  • Couple is two individuals, not one
  • Retain their own identities, needs, wants, etc.
  • Paradox more intimacy increases conflict
  • Don’t fear conflict
  • Manner in which conflict is handled important

TYPES OF CONFLICT

  • Basic conflict (usually more detrimental)
  • Nonbasic conflict (less detrimental)
  • Common conflict areas:
  • Sex
  • Money
  • Housework
  • Often all three are linked – source of power and control

RESOLVING CONFLICT

  • Negative resolvers:
  • Confrontation
  • Confrontation and defensiveness
  • Complaining and defensiveness
  • Coercion
  • Manipulation
  • Avoidance

RESOLVING CONFLICTS

  • Positive resolvers:
  • Dealing with anger – vent or suppress
  • Summarize
  • Paraphrase
  • Validate
  • Clarify

MORE POSITIVE CONFLICT RESOLVERS

  • Support your partner
  • Assertion
  • Reason
  • Negotiation (agreement as a gift, bargaining, coexistence)

GOAL: GOOD COMMUNICATION AND CONFLICT & POWER RESOLUTION STRATEGIES RESULT IN SATISFIED, HEALTHY COUPLES