English

5

Smarthinking Tutor Response Form

Your tutor has written overview comments about your essay in the form below. Your tutor has also embedded comments [in bold and in brackets] within your essay. Thank you for choosing Smarthinking to help you improve your writing!

Hello,! My name is Tracy J. I look forward to working with you on this Essay Center Review to improve your writing today. Let's get started!

*Writing Strength:  I noticed that you stated how the source would assist you with your research topic. Great job! This shows the readers that you understood how the sources will apply to your topic. For example, “This article will provide answers on how the NCLB initiative has been effective and the progress that it has made.”

* you requested help with Content Development:   

Your body paragraphs could benefit from further development . This will ensure that the readers get a good understanding about the relevance of these sources for your topic.

Take a look at the following questions:

· How satisfactory is this evidence to support your opinions?

· How does the quality of the author’s/authors’ opinions, method, and/or theory shape up against that of other sources in your list? In what ways is it superior or inferior? This will help you decide which source(s) are more relevant for your topic.

· What major points are missing in these sources in comparison to others?

· Where do the authors/texts agree? Disagree?

Perhaps these questions will help you build a powerful annotated bibliography. In the meantime, check out our Writer’s Handbook and read more about Annotated Bibliographies.

* you requested help with Introduction/Conclusion:  

  I am a bit concerned about how you repeated certain phrases in your first and last paragraph. Such repetition limits your source’s relevance for the topic.

Here is an example:

· “This article will provide answers on the background information of this initiative and how it was formed.”

· “This article provides the background information of the no child left behind act, how it came to be and why it was named the way it was.”

These sentences are from your first and last paragraph. The sources seem to do provide background information of how the same initiative was formed. Which other source can you include that gives different information about this initiative? How will this source be different? Why is it significant for the topic? As you consider these questions, you will be able to formulate a strong annotated bibliography summary for this source.

  Use of Resources  Your sources in the summary of annotated bibliographies need the URLs. This is required under the summary using the correct APA style. Let’s look at this example:

· “Waldow, F. (2015). From Taylor to Tyler to no child left behind: Legitimating educational standards. Prospects, 45(1), 49-62.”

The URL or website page is missing for this article. Here is one example:

· Foff, E. (2017). From Language to Language: Implications for closing language gaps: Developmental Psychology, 49(1), 4–14. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0027238

Consider revising all of your sources in the paper using this example. Summary of Next Steps: 

· Further develop your paragraphs.  

· Revise last paragraph.  

· Revise and URLs in your bibliography citations.

Thank you for submitting your essay for a review, Patrick. I enjoyed helping you with this step in the revision process. Have a good day! ~ Tracy J.

You can find more information about writing, grammar, and usage in the Smarthinking Writer's Handbook.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Please look for comments [in bold and in brackets] in your essay below. Thank you for submitting your work to Smarthinking! We hope to see you again soon.

Annotated bibliography

Darling-Hammond, L. (2018). From "separate but equal" to "No Child Left Behind": The collision of new standards and old inequalities. In Thinking about Schools (pp. 419-437). Routledge.

This book explores the factors that led to the formation of the no child left behind the initiative. It also explores the importance of this initiative and what it has been able to achieve. According to this article, the initiative was started to improve the education standards of children that were traditionally left behind in America. These involved children with disabilities and those from poor backgrounds. This article will provide answers on the background information of this initiative and how it was formed. [What theories drive the author’s reasoning? Consider expanding this paragraph by addressing this question.]

Mathis, W. J., & Trujillo, T. M. (2016). Lessons from NCLB for the ‘Every Student Succeeds Act’. National Education Policy Center.

This article focuses on the no child left behind act and how it finally gave way to every child succeeds initiative. According to this article, it was not just enough ensuring that no child is left behind on matters education. The ultimate goal was to ensure that every child succeeds. That is how the initiative evolved and paved the way for the 'every child succeeds initiative'. This article will provide answers on how the NCLB initiative has been effective and the progress that it has made. [What special contribution does this text offer compared to the previous book? How do these texts support each other? Maybe adding more information using these questions will help your readers to understand the relevance of this text.]

Waldow, F. (2015). From Taylor to Tyler to no child left behind: Legitimating educational standards. Prospects, 45(1), 49-62.

This article provides the background information of the no child left behind act, how it came to be and why it was named the way it was. It was formed in the early 20th century when America was strategizing on how to enhance the country's production and the standards of education. The name of the initiative was derived from the military slogan of 'don't leave

anyone behind'. The contents of this article will help me understand the topic as well as be able to use it for my research. [How will you use this topic for your research? Maybe give an explanation regarding this.]

References

Darling-Hammond, L. (2018). From “separate but equal” to “No Child Left Behind”: The collision of new standards and old inequalities. In Thinking about Schools (pp. 419-437). Routledge. Retrieved from https://www.taylorfrancis.com/books/e/9780429495670/chapters/10.4324/9780429495670-34

Mathis, W. J., & Trujillo, T. M. (2016). Lessons from NCLB for the Every Student Succeeds Act. National Education Policy Center. Retrieved from https://eric.ed.gov/?id=ED574684

Waldow, F. (2015). From Taylor to Tyler to no child left behind: Legitimating educational standards. Prospects, 45(1), 49-62. Retrieved from https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11125-014-9334-x