America Political 010W Writing

1. TA’s comment is only under assignment #1 / Submission Details / View Feedback.

2. The most helpful is the comment in the first body paragraph of my writing. The TA

reminded me that I had to speak about a specific event rather than the general problem.

3. I think the assistant coach said the comments he gave were very sharp and pointed

out my problems directly, he gave impeccable comments.

4. TA’s comment: “Your paper overall is way too general. I need more context as to

what you're referring to here. Are you talking about the inclusion of minority groups

in the electorate?” He said what I wrote is the way too general and it is. Not only this

comment, but also in the comments that follow this question. The arguments I listed

are not detailed and in-depth enough, and the evidence I gave does not strongly

support my arguments. This is what I need to pay attention to in my next writing.

5. I think I need to revise and improve too much, maybe I still need to redefine my

thesis statement and writing style. But the most important things are the evidence and

analysis.

6. When I was halfway through reading the TA’s comments, I was thinking that the

main problem was the evidence I gave didn’t quite fit the thesis statement. Both of

these are areas that I need to improve.

7. I need to re-read Federalist Paper no. 10, The Constitution, How Democratic is the

American Constitution?, How Democracies Die and look for evidence that fits my

argument, and this time I have to focus more on a specific of evidence.