Suggestions-Modifications
John.Quality
sep_27.zipsep_27/Feedback from D.pdf
English 1201 / Peer Feedback Questions
Essay Writer's Name: Nouf Almutairi
Essay’s Title: Critical Response
Peer Reviewer’s Name: Devin Nolan
Read through the paper completely before answering any of the following questions.
1. Does your classmate include the title of the article, the author’s name, the title of the publication the article appears in, and the date of publication in the first and/or second sentence of paragraph one?
The article name is in the first sentence but you will need to add the authors name as well as the date of the publication of the article.
2. Does your classmate summarize the article’s main idea concisely and objectively? Are there any minor details from the original article that should not be included? Where can you suggest additional specific improvements for the summary section?
The main idea of the article is summarized. Although I have not read this article, I do not believe that there are any details that should have been left out of your draft.
3. Identify your classmate’s thesis statement/overall argument about the article he/she is analyzing. Does this thesis give the reader any indication of the points to be covered in the essay? Would the essay be improved if it did? Are there ways your classmate might narrow his/her focus to improve the overall essay?
“The current pandemic has unraveled many college football’s flaws” I think this is good to show what the article and you are trying to get across to the reader.
4. In the analysis section, what kinds of textual evidence does your classmate include to support his/her thesis? Are there places where additional textual evidence would make the essay even more effective?
You have a good amount of in text citation to back up what you and the article are saying and it is well written.
5. In the analysis section, is your classmate’s voice the one you are hearing from most? In other words, are there places where your classmate is quoting from the text too much? If there are, please copy and paste one of those sections here and suggest a revision.
You do talk a lot about what the author feels and talks about so you could add more of your beliefs and how certain things make you feel.
6. How does the draft hold together? Which paragraphs don't connect well with preceding or subsequent ones? Make note of any places in the draft where you have trouble reading and note whether a transition, clearer wording, more clarification. or additional details and/or support would help most.
The draft is together well just needing some finishing up with the works cited and more of how this makes you feel. Paragraphs flow fine and no trouble reading anywhere.
7. Are there paragraphs that seem less coherent or less convincing than others? If so, choose one and explain how it might be clarified and/or better supported.
Honestly, I think that it is really well written.
8. Does the paper conclude with a whimper or a shout? Is the conclusion merely repetitive, or does it suggest new directions of thought or provide a call to action? What suggestions do you have to make the conclusion even better?
I feel like you agree with the article in that there needs to be more guidelines regarding these players and what they should go through due to the worlds current state of covid.
9. Note problems with sentence structure, grammar, word choice, and other mechanical issues that make it difficult for you to follow your classmate’s thinking. Ignore any issues that don’t get in the way of your understanding.
Everything looks good you just need to change a few times where you meant to say to and only put a ‘t’ in the fifth and sixth paragraph. In the sixth you also put ‘d’ instead of do.
10. Are there any issues with formatting? Has your classmate included a separate Works Cited page as his/her last page? Is the article in the correct MLA format? If not, practice writing the citation for your classmate, using the guidelines in eLearn.
I do not see any issues at all with formatting you will just need to add a works cited page.
sep_27/Feedback from O.pdf
English 1201 / Peer Feedback Questions
Essay Writer's Name: Nouf Almutairi
Essay’s Title: College Football’s Great Unraveling Critical Response
Peer Reviewer’s Name: Oliver Kelly
Read through the paper completely before answering any of the following questions.
1. Does your classmate include the title of the article, the author’s name, the title of the
publication the article appears in, and the date of publication in the first and/or second
sentence of paragraph one? Nouf includes the title of the article but not the author, publication, or
date of publication.
2. Does your classmate summarize the article’s main idea concisely and objectively? Are
there any minor details from the original article that should not be included? Where can
you suggest additional specific improvements for the summary section? The summary of the article
begins by stating the article’s opinions, which I would not consider objective. Could you try saving the
opinion for the second paragraph and introduce without opinions but rather facts?
3. Identify your classmate’s thesis statement/overall argument about the article he/she is
analyzing. Does this thesis give the reader any indication of the points to be covered in
the essay? Would the essay be improved if it did? Are there ways your classmate might
narrow his/her focus to improve the overall essay? The thesis of this essay is that college football is
collapsing, Nouf does a good job of using plenty of evidence to support this claim.
4. In the analysis section, what kinds of textual evidence does your classmate include to
support his/her thesis? Are there places where additional textual evidence would make
the essay even more effective? Nouf uses quotes from the text and also a lot of information from the
text. While with some pieces she explains what it is she is talking about, other pieces are a bit hard to
follow if you don’t know much about the topic.
5. In the analysis section, is your classmate’s voice the one you are hearing from most? In
other words, are there places where your classmate is quoting from the text too much? If
there are, please copy and paste one of those sections here and suggest a revision. I don’t think so.
6. How does the draft hold together? Which paragraphs don't connect well with preceding
or subsequent ones? Make note of any places in the draft where you have trouble reading
and note whether a transition, clearer wording, more clarification. or additional details
and/or support would help most. I think that Nouf’s rough draft is good, there are a bit of things that
need to be cleaned up such as simple typos, perhaps adding some more explaining to people who
have not read the article.
7. Are there paragraphs that seem less coherent or less convincing than others? If so, choose
one and explain how it might be clarified and/or better supported. Personally, I do not know much
about this topic. With that though I found what I learned from Nouf’s rough draft informative.
8. Does the paper conclude with a whimper or a shout? Is the conclusion merely repetitive,
or does it suggest new directions of thought or provide a call to action? What suggestions
do you have to make the conclusion even better? I would say that the article concluded with a shout
about the problems happening in college football.
9. Note problems with sentence structure, grammar, word choice, and other mechanical
issues that make it difficult for you to follow your classmate’s thinking. Ignore any
issues that don’t get in the way of your understanding. Just a few typos, most of which didn’t interfere
with my understanding.
10. Are there any issues with formatting? Has your classmate included a separate Works
Cited page as his/her last page? Is the article in the correct MLA format? If not, practice
writing the citation for your classmate, using the guidelines in eLearn. The rough draft does follow MLA
format very well! The only piece I noticed was a lack of page numbers in the header but that’s an easy
fix. Also, no works cited but that is also a simple fix.
sep_27/MY_Work_CRITICAL_RESPONSE.docx
Almutairi
Almutairi
CRITICAL RESPONSE
Nouf Almutairi
ENG 1201.113
Sep 15,2020
COLLEGE FOOTBALL’S GREAT UNRAVELING CRITICAL RESPONSE
According to the article "College Football's Great Unraveling," the author believes that the current pandemic has unraveled many college football’s flaws. She says that way before the coming of the coronavirus pandemic; college football has been wavering for a very long time. When the coronavirus hit the United States, the Big 10, a conference that comprises of the Midwest's major football, became the first one to fall by canceling its fall season, followed by the Pac-12, which represents significant programs on the West Coast.
She says that despite these two conferences, The Big 10 and Pac-12 conferences canceling their football, the other three conferences continued with their football uninterrupted. Despite the two conferences giving valid reasons why they called off the game schedules, the two, just like the other three conferences, have the same concerns but handle the matter differently. The author continues to point at various flaws that are in college football.
To start with, the author believes that top college football's decentralized chaos is one o the biggest issues. Hundreds of teams are organized in the same way as Power 5, while others do not align with these conferences. This means that no law guides college football, giving it a peculiar regionalism. She continues to state that some states do not even notice college football.
On the other hand, the students continue playing hard with the hope of joining the national football league, but this does not materialize at the end, not the day. The leaders have literary done no effort t change the current system citing that NCAA adheres to the amateurism principle. This is the principle where the schools are prohibited from paying these players. These are some of the regulations that the author believes are hindering college football from progressing.
Similarly, NCAA's principle of amateurism is also putting the students at a very big risk. For instance, according to t the author, with the opening of schools, the players are at a very great risk of contracting the coronavirus disease (Hart, 2019 pg 2). However, NCAA bars schools from giving the players any special treatment, such as restricting their access to bars and parties and special clearance to d online classes. They are therefore not given any kind of protection. The students also do not have any formal way of lobbying for fair treatments since they are considered amateurs. The status of the armature is a threat to the safety f the players and the viability of the college football.
I agree with the author that the cancellation of college football is not the biggest issue. The biggest issue is that there is a big problem that needs to be discussed soberly about amateurism and greed in college football, making the games go crumbling. "The NCAA's role in modern football is primarily to regulate what athletes can do and receive while enrolled in school. It sets limits on the frequency and conditions of practice, and restricts improper benefits, including paychecks and cash bonuses." (Mull, 2020) Amateurism in college football is a very big issue. As the college sports continue growing, money becomes a byproduct of increased popularity. This means that the students become more like employees than students.
The players' hard work and commitment benefit the schools and the many selfish leaders who plunder the resources.
There is a dire need to ensure that the players' well being is taken care of, which includes taking good care of the players. Changes must be made to ensure that their full costs are taken care of. The players are not given an opportunity, and they do not have any role to play in making decisions regarding how the football should carry on. This is only left to the leaders who make important decisions citing NCAA as the guiding principle. The players have continued working hard, but the greedy football leaders reap their efforts. According to the author, "schools use myriad accounting tricks to make the legal argument that their athletic departments don't have much money on hand at all—among them, pouring the profits into facilities upgrades like weight-room DJ booths and indoor waterfalls in locker rooms." (Mull, 2020)
In conclusion, therefore, it is important the players also reap from their hard work. This can e doe y giving them a token of appreciation, which may e inform of giving them fair wagers just like the other employees in the school and providing them with expanded health benefits. This can only happen if the players are no longer seen as armatures. Therefore, this means that the NCAA armature principle is doing more harm than good to college football.
Work cited
Hart, Steven. "Amateurism, Player Compensation, and College Sports an Analysis of the Perceived Effects of a Free Market Model on the National Collegiate Athletic Association and Three Stakeholders of Division I Athletics." (2019). Retrieved from: https://diginole.lib.fsu.edu/islandora/object/fsu%3A722535/
Mull, A. College Football’s Great Unraveling: The pandemic is bringing the sport face-to-face with its deepest flaws. The Atlantic, 2020 retrieved from: https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2020/08/college-football-falling-apart/615277/?utm_source=atl&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=share
sep_27/question/3 page MLA.zip
Assignment Sheet for the Critical Response Essay3.docx
English 1201
Essay #1 – Summary and Critical Response
The Purpose of this Writing Assignment
The Critical Response assignment is designed to give you an opportunity to:
· Practice thinking critically:
When you think critically, you do not simply accept ideas at face value. Instead, you question these ideas, analyzing them to understand them better. You also challenge their underlying assumptions and form your own judgments about them.
· Practice reading critically:
Reading critically does not mean arguing with every idea you encounter. What it does mean is commenting, questioning, and judging. As a critical reader, you do not simply accept that what you are reading is true or reasonable. Instead, you assess the accuracy of the facts in the text(s) you are reading, and you consider whether opinions are convincingly supported by evidence. You try to judge the appropriateness and reliability of the text(s), and you evaluate the scope and depth of the evidence and the relevance of that evidence to the topic. You also consider opposing arguments carefully, measuring them against the arguments developed by the writer. Finally, you watch out for possible bias in the text(s) you are reading – and you work hard to keep your own biases in check.
· Practice writing critically:
Before you can respond in writing to an argument, you need to be sure that you understand what the writer means to get across and that you have a sense of how the ideas are arranged – and why. You also need to consider how convincingly the writer conveys his or her position.
Begin by reading the argument carefully, annotating it and thinking about it as we’ve discussed in class. From here you should have a good idea about what the writer wants to communicate to readers as well as how successfully the argument makes its point.
Begin writing down your ideas and own responses, considering the evidence presented as you began to make your own reasoned conclusions. Keep in mind that the most common features of critical writing are:
· a clear and confident refusal to accept the conclusions of other writers without evaluating the arguments and evidence that they provide
· a balanced presentation of reasons why the conclusions of other writers may be accepted or may need to be treated with caution
· a clear presentation of your own evidence and argument, leading to your conclusion; and
· a recognition of the limitations in your own evidence, argument, and conclusion.
The Writing Task
In an approximately 3-5 – page Summary and Critical Response, summarize and analyze the ideas and arguments presented by just one of the essays that I have included in our eLearn shell. Then, express your personal reactions.
Begin by identifying the source and its author; then write a clear, concise summary of the writer’s position. Next, analyze the argument’s supporting points one by one, considering the strength of the evidence that is presented. Also, consider whether the writer addresses all significant opposing arguments and whether those arguments are refuted convincingly. Quote, paraphrase, and summarize the writer’s key points as you go along, being careful to do so accurately so that you do not misrepresent the writer’s ideas or distort them by using them out of context.
Identify arguments you find unconvincing, poorly supported, or irrelevant, or those arguments that you find well-supported, compelling, and effective. At the end of your response, sum up your assessment of the argument in a strong concluding statement that engages your reader one last time and keeps him/her thinking about your response for years to come. It could happen!
Include a final Works Cited page. Because this is a single-source essay, your Works Cited will include only the citation in MLA format for the essay you chose to analyze.
Formatting Instructions
· Final drafts must be typed in 12-point Times New Roman or Calibri font. The default setting in Microsoft Word is 11-point Calibri, so remember that you will always have to go in and change the font size when you begin to write something new.
· Make sure your essay double-spaced with one inch margins. The default margin setting is already at one inch. However, you must change the spacing above and below the line. Look again at the formatting of the student sample, or ask me if you have any questions. This is the first paper of the semester, so there are NO dumb questions, especially about formatting!
· Staple your final draft in the upper left-hand corner.
· Use only plain white paper.
· There is no separate title page, so in the upper left-hand corner of page one, you will type your name, my name (Dair Arnold), course number and section (ENG 1201.113) and the date (this is the date that you actually turn in the paper...so, if you turn the paper in late, or if you submit a revision of the paper later in the term, the date would reflect that new day).
· Use MLA format for citing sources. This applies to in-text parenthetical documentation and to Works Cited pages.
link-reference-question.txt
https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2020/08/college-football-falling-apart/615277/?utm_source=atl&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=share
sep_27/question/answeer/Nouf_Almutairi_CRITICAL_RESPONSE.docx
Almutairi
Almutairi
CRITICAL RESPONSE
Nouf Almutairi
ENG 1201.113
Sep 15,2020
COLLEGE FOOTBALL’S GREAT UNRAVELING CRITICAL RESPONSE
According to the article "College Football's Great Unraveling," the author believes that the current pandemic has unraveled many college football’s flaws. She says that way before the coming of the coronavirus pandemic; college football has been wavering for a very long time. When the coronavirus hit the United States, the Big 10, a conference that comprises of the Midwest's major football, became the first one to fall by canceling its fall season, followed by the Pac-12, which represents significant programs on the West Coast.
She says that despite these two conferences, The Big 10 and Pac-12 conferences canceling their football, the other three conferences continued with their football uninterrupted. Despite the two conferences giving valid reasons why they called off the game schedules, the two, just like the other three conferences, have the same concerns but handle the matter differently. The author continues to point at various flaws that are in college football.
To start with, the author believes that top college football's decentralized chaos is one o the biggest issues. Hundreds of teams are organized in the same way as Power 5, while others do not align with these conferences. This means that no law guides college football, giving it a peculiar regionalism. She continues to state that some states do not even notice college football.
On the other hand, the students continue playing hard with the hope of joining the national football league, but this does not materialize at the end, not the day. The leaders have literary done no effort t change the current system citing that NCAA adheres to the amateurism principle. This is the principle where the schools are prohibited from paying these players. These are some of the regulations that the author believes are hindering college football from progressing.
Similarly, NCAA's principle of amateurism is also putting the students at a very big risk. For instance, according to t the author, with the opening of schools, the players are at a very great risk of contracting the coronavirus disease (Hart, 2019 pg 2). However, NCAA bars schools from giving the players any special treatment, such as restricting their access to bars and parties and special clearance to d online classes. They are therefore not given any kind of protection. The students also do not have any formal way of lobbying for fair treatments since they are considered amateurs. The status of the armature is a threat to the safety f the players and the viability of the college football.
I agree with the author that the cancellation of college football is not the biggest issue. The biggest issue is that there is a big problem that needs to be discussed soberly about amateurism and greed in college football, making the games go crumbling. "The NCAA's role in modern football is primarily to regulate what athletes can do and receive while enrolled in school. It sets limits on the frequency and conditions of practice, and restricts improper benefits, including paychecks and cash bonuses." (Mull, 2020) Amateurism in college football is a very big issue. As the college sports continue growing, money becomes a byproduct of increased popularity. This means that the students become more like employees than students.
The players' hard work and commitment benefit the schools and the many selfish leaders who plunder the resources.
There is a dire need to ensure that the players' well being is taken care of, which includes taking good care of the players. Changes must be made to ensure that their full costs are taken care of. The players are not given an opportunity, and they do not have any role to play in making decisions regarding how the football should carry on. This is only left to the leaders who make important decisions citing NCAA as the guiding principle. The players have continued working hard, but the greedy football leaders reap their efforts. According to the author, "schools use myriad accounting tricks to make the legal argument that their athletic departments don't have much money on hand at all—among them, pouring the profits into facilities upgrades like weight-room DJ booths and indoor waterfalls in locker rooms." (Mull, 2020)
In conclusion, therefore, it is important the players also reap from their hard work. This can e doe y giving them a token of appreciation, which may e inform of giving them fair wagers just like the other employees in the school and providing them with expanded health benefits. This can only happen if the players are no longer seen as armatures. Therefore, this means that the NCAA armature principle is doing more harm than good to college football.
Work cited
Hart, Steven. "Amateurism, Player Compensation, and College Sports an Analysis of the Perceived Effects of a Free Market Model on the National Collegiate Athletic Association and Three Stakeholders of Division I Athletics." (2019). Retrieved from: https://diginole.lib.fsu.edu/islandora/object/fsu%3A722535/
Mull, A. College Football’s Great Unraveling: The pandemic is bringing the sport face-to-face with its deepest flaws. The Atlantic, 2020 retrieved from: https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2020/08/college-football-falling-apart/615277/?utm_source=atl&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=share
sep_27/question/answeer/turnitinreport69876543234567.pdf
899 by 899 899
Submission date: 14-Sep-2020 07:48AM (UTC-0700) Submission ID: 1386801092 File name: CRITICAL_RESPONSE.docx (17.8K) Word count: 947 Character count: 5088
4% SIMILARITY INDEX
4% INTERNET SOURCES
0% PUBLICATIONS
0% STUDENT PAPERS
1 3% 2 1%
Exclude quotes On
Exclude bibliography On
Exclude matches Off
899 ORIGINALITY REPORT
PRIMARY SOURCES
www.theatlantic.com Internet Source
www.coursehero.com Internet Source
- 899
- by 899 899
- 899
- ORIGINALITY REPORT
- PRIMARY SOURCES
sep_27/question/Assignment Sheet for the Critical Response Essay3.docx
English 1201
Essay #1 – Summary and Critical Response
The Purpose of this Writing Assignment
The Critical Response assignment is designed to give you an opportunity to:
· Practice thinking critically:
When you think critically, you do not simply accept ideas at face value. Instead, you question these ideas, analyzing them to understand them better. You also challenge their underlying assumptions and form your own judgments about them.
· Practice reading critically:
Reading critically does not mean arguing with every idea you encounter. What it does mean is commenting, questioning, and judging. As a critical reader, you do not simply accept that what you are reading is true or reasonable. Instead, you assess the accuracy of the facts in the text(s) you are reading, and you consider whether opinions are convincingly supported by evidence. You try to judge the appropriateness and reliability of the text(s), and you evaluate the scope and depth of the evidence and the relevance of that evidence to the topic. You also consider opposing arguments carefully, measuring them against the arguments developed by the writer. Finally, you watch out for possible bias in the text(s) you are reading – and you work hard to keep your own biases in check.
· Practice writing critically:
Before you can respond in writing to an argument, you need to be sure that you understand what the writer means to get across and that you have a sense of how the ideas are arranged – and why. You also need to consider how convincingly the writer conveys his or her position.
Begin by reading the argument carefully, annotating it and thinking about it as we’ve discussed in class. From here you should have a good idea about what the writer wants to communicate to readers as well as how successfully the argument makes its point.
Begin writing down your ideas and own responses, considering the evidence presented as you began to make your own reasoned conclusions. Keep in mind that the most common features of critical writing are:
· a clear and confident refusal to accept the conclusions of other writers without evaluating the arguments and evidence that they provide
· a balanced presentation of reasons why the conclusions of other writers may be accepted or may need to be treated with caution
· a clear presentation of your own evidence and argument, leading to your conclusion; and
· a recognition of the limitations in your own evidence, argument, and conclusion.
The Writing Task
In an approximately 3-5 – page Summary and Critical Response, summarize and analyze the ideas and arguments presented by just one of the essays that I have included in our eLearn shell. Then, express your personal reactions.
Begin by identifying the source and its author; then write a clear, concise summary of the writer’s position. Next, analyze the argument’s supporting points one by one, considering the strength of the evidence that is presented. Also, consider whether the writer addresses all significant opposing arguments and whether those arguments are refuted convincingly. Quote, paraphrase, and summarize the writer’s key points as you go along, being careful to do so accurately so that you do not misrepresent the writer’s ideas or distort them by using them out of context.
Identify arguments you find unconvincing, poorly supported, or irrelevant, or those arguments that you find well-supported, compelling, and effective. At the end of your response, sum up your assessment of the argument in a strong concluding statement that engages your reader one last time and keeps him/her thinking about your response for years to come. It could happen!
Include a final Works Cited page. Because this is a single-source essay, your Works Cited will include only the citation in MLA format for the essay you chose to analyze.
Formatting Instructions
· Final drafts must be typed in 12-point Times New Roman or Calibri font. The default setting in Microsoft Word is 11-point Calibri, so remember that you will always have to go in and change the font size when you begin to write something new.
· Make sure your essay double-spaced with one inch margins. The default margin setting is already at one inch. However, you must change the spacing above and below the line. Look again at the formatting of the student sample, or ask me if you have any questions. This is the first paper of the semester, so there are NO dumb questions, especially about formatting!
· Staple your final draft in the upper left-hand corner.
· Use only plain white paper.
· There is no separate title page, so in the upper left-hand corner of page one, you will type your name, my name (Dair Arnold), course number and section (ENG 1201.113) and the date (this is the date that you actually turn in the paper...so, if you turn the paper in late, or if you submit a revision of the paper later in the term, the date would reflect that new day).
· Use MLA format for citing sources. This applies to in-text parenthetical documentation and to Works Cited pages.
sep_27/question/link-reference-question.txt
https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2020/08/college-football-falling-apart/615277/?utm_source=atl&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=share
