Rough Draft/Final Paper Persuasive Essay on Cyberbullying

Email form teacher in regards to paper:

Students,

I just posted grades for your social media essay drafts and was intrigued by the various directions your papers took.

PLEASE carefully read my comments--both in the "feedback to learner" area AND embedded in your attached document. I WILL look back at the draft when grading your final to see who considered my suggestions and who totally ignored them. I also expect you to do your own rewriting and proofreading; don't just fix the places I marked--they're usually the first instance of a problem, not the only occurrence. Some of you need to find appropriate sources from the online library database. Many of you really need to review comma rules for making complete sentences because I saw lots of fragments and run-ons and randomly placed commas. Don't forget about the Learning Center, which is a free service available to all students (online, email, phone, or on-campus help).  Since we have so much time between deadlines, I expect great improvement between these drafts and the finals. Remember that University policy requires ENG 2 students to pass one of two research papers during the semester, so if you didn't score at least 60 on the literary analysis comparison essay, this is your second chance for success!  

Comments on paper:

Patrice,

· In addition to these feedback comments, please review the text-specific comments embedded in your attached document.

· Paper title should reflect your topic; headings are unnecessary--instead, use transition words and phrases to move your reader from one point to the next

· Missing a strong thesis statement that clearly indicates what your topic is and what your opinion on the topic is. Also, this is a persuasive essay, not a report--what are you trying to persuade your reader to buy, do, or believe?

· There are so many wording and sentence errors that most of this is very difficult to read and doesn't make sense. Sources don't meet the requirements of the assignment, and source material is not used effectively. This needs drastic revision in order to get a passing grade on the final paper. Please visit the Learning Center for additional help.

· Works Cited page needs more work--bibliographic information is incomplete on all the entries, which should also include database names. No required article has been used. Also, follow the rules of MLA formatting for entries--alphabetical order, journal and database names in italics, article titles in quotation marks, etc.  Check the Purdue OWL website for help on this.

Link provided to see additional comments embedded within paper:

https://mycampus.asub.edu/secure/Student/loginstu.aspx?ReturnUrl=%2fsecure%2fstudent%2fstudent.aspx

username: patrice.smith

password: Pilar#24

the class is freshman English II

Everything else that has been asked for specifically has already been uploaded on the original question. If you are still confused, you can go to links in the class which refer to the social media project for better understanding.